“I must say, Johnathan,” Lord Balfour said from his chair by the fireplace, “I have never seen you smile so much.”
Johnathan turned back to the man he had known since he was young. Lord Balfour was a close friend of Johnathan’s father, and since his father’s death, Lord Balfour had kept in close touch. They had just closed a deal on a shipping scheme that would allow Johnathan access to other trade, both for his current business and for future endeavors, both of which would increase his wealth exponentially.
“I must admit that I cannot help myself,” Johnathan said as he retook the seat opposite the man. “Alice has captivated me with her smile, and I find it catching.”
Lord Balfour nodded. “Women can be quite captivating,” he said with a smile. “However, keep in mind what your father always said. ‘Adore a woman and her charms, but love your business, for, without the business, there is no woman’.” He chuckled at the words, and Johnathan joined in.
“And it is still excellent advice,” Johnathan said. “My father was quite fortunate to have your wise counsel and friendship. Much like myself.” Johnathan felt a bit of mist cover his eyes and he shook the feeling away. Nothing was gained from sentimentalities.
Lord Balfour stood and brushed off his trousers. “Well, I must be on my way,” he said as he headed toward the door. “Johnathan, I have known you since you were, what? Ten was it?”
“I believe so,” Johnathan replied with a smile.
“Yes, well, in that time, I have seen you become the acute businessman you are today. Never forget what brought you your wealth.”
“And what was that?”
“Looking after yourself first,” the man replied. “I speak no ill of your fiancée, nor would I ever. Marriage can be one of the greatest business ventures in which one can partake. But do not allow it to distract you from our business agreement, or any other you may have.”
“I appreciate your advice,” Johnathan said as he extended his hand.
Lord Balfour shook it and smiled. “Congratulations to you and your new endeavors.”
“Thank you.” Yet, Johnathan could not agree with the man concerning his view on marriage. The man, by all accounts, had no idea what it meant to be in love. His wife, the Lady Judith Balfour, was a woman who was pleasant enough, but the two barely spoke two words to each other. Furthermore, Alfred’s roguish ways made Johnathan appear a saint. How lucky Johnathan was to have found a woman he could love and cherish so his own scandalous reputation could be laid to rest once and for all.
“It appears you have company,” Lord Balfour said as they stepped outside.
Johnathan shook his head as he watched a large carriage approach. The driver tipped his hat once he brought the carriage to a stop in front of the house.
“My Lord,” the man said, “I’m deliverin’ the dresses Miss Huntington ordered last week from Mrs. Grant.”
Johnathan smiled. Good, he would have the boxes waiting for her when she arrived. It would make her quite happy indeed. However, when the man opened the carriage, Johnathan was astonished to see the entire inside filled with boxes.
“All of these?” he asked in horror. “Are you certain?”
“Ay, Me Lord,” the driver said as he took out the first two. “Where do ya want me to put ‘em?”
“This way,” Harold stated in his bored tone from behind Johnathan, for which Johnathan was glad for he currently struggled to find his voice his shock was so great.
When the driver returned to collect more boxes, Johnathan grabbed his arm. “How many are there and how much did they cost?” he demanded.
“My Lord, I have the bill with me,” the man said fearfully. “If you’d kindly let me go, I can show you.”
Johnathan released the man’s arm, and the man reached into his inside pocket to produce a folded piece of paper. “Mind you, I don’t got nothin’ to do with the bill,” the man said warily as Johnathan looked over the paper, his scowl deepening. “I just deliver ‘em.”
“How much?” Johnathan shouted. “How on Earth did the woman spend this much on…seventeen dresses! She had seventeen dresses made?” He stuffed the bill into his coat pocket and closed his eyes. His plan had been to sit down with Alice and explain the importance of a budget and to set limits on her spending; however, what she had done was uncalled for.
The driver cleared his throat and Johnathan opened his eyes to see the man still standing before gripping his dilapidated hat tightly in his clenched hands. “Do I still unload the packages?” he asked quietly.
“Yes,” Johnathan sighed. “Harold, have him place them in the Green Room; that is the room Miss Huntington will be using for the time being.” Or for the foreseeable future, he seethed silently.
Lord Balfour patted Johnathan on the back. “And now it begins,” he said with a large smile. “You had better rein her in or you’ll be bankrupt before the wedding.”
Johnathan glared at the man. How dare he be so jovial about Johnathan’s plight? However, Johnathan could not blame him; he would have had the same reaction had one of his friends found themselves in this predicament.
As Lord Balfour rode away, a cart carrying several men came up the drive. Johnathan could only stare at them as they pulled up behind Mrs. Grant’s carriage. The driver jumped from the seat, removed his hat and walked up to stand before Johnathan.
“My Lord,” the man said as he looked down at the step before him. “James Malloy here to begin the work on your guest wing.”
“Guest wing? What guest wing?”
“The one Miss Huntington commissioned to be built for her companion and her husband. She said it needed to be started immediately, though I am sorry I wasn’t able to be here before today. You see, my missus…”
“Enough,” Johnathan spat. He reached into the pocket of his coat, counted out a few notes and handed them to the man. “I will let you know if we need your services. Please take this for your time today.”
The man took the notes and gave Johnathan a questioning look. However, when he saw the scowl on Johnathan’s face, he quickly put the money in his pocket and rushed back to the cart. Soon he was heading back the way he had come.
Thunder boomed in the distance, an echo of the storm brewing in Johnathan’s life. Everything seemed to be falling apart, and Johnathan was at a loss as to how to regain control. One thing was for certain; he needed to speak to Alice as soon as possible and find out the root of her spending. No one could turn so suddenly. Yet then again, what had seemed like love for the woman was quickly turning into what it had been before he had found her in Cornwall.
Anger.
***
Alice sat at the tiny table in her kitchen, the light of the candle flickering as she took another sip of her wine. She was not accustomed to alcohol, and although it helped relax her somewhat, she found herself pondering the storm of emotions within herself. Her action the previous week had made her quite happy at the time; however, now that she had begun her battle for revenge, she could not help but feel a great deal of guilt for what she had done. Johnathan was a handsome man, and as such, perhaps he needed that kiss from Jane to ease his primal urges. All too often Alice had heard that men had some sort of animal instincts that caused them to make poor choices when it came to beautiful women. Alice knew she certainly enjoyed the kiss they had shared, so maybe it was not just men who felt the need for such intimacies. Had she allowed him a kiss sooner than she had, would that have kept him from needing to receive one from that woman?
Just the thought of Jane and Johnathan kissing sent her heart into turmoil. She had told him she loved him, and although he had not returned the sentiment, she thought she could feel his love for her. Yet, she was much too naive when it came to the inner workings of lovers, so she could have easily been manipulated to believe he loved her. Then again, she had never heard her father tell her mother he loved her, so perhaps it was only in novels that men said such words.
It was not just her issues with Johnathan whic
h bothered her, however. The letter she had last written to Thomas still sat unsent on her writing desk back at Glassberry Estate, and it had never occurred to her to write him since. She took out a piece of paper and set it next to the inkwell on the table. With the quill in her hand, she wondered what she would tell him. Perhaps the best measure was to simply write from her heart. Thus, she dipped the pen in the ink and began to write.
Dearest Thomas,
When I came to Cornwall, I had done so to escape a man I did not wish to wed. However, in the time I have been here, I have found that I have fallen in love with him. Or at least I thought I had. Our time together reminded me so much of the time you and I spent together, and so I was taken in by his roguish ways. I know now that he does not love me as you did, and it hurts me deeply to admit as such to you.
For so long I hoped that you would return to me, even so far as to see you riding down the street only to realize it was not you. However, through my trials, I have come to realize that I have matured considerably. It was wrong of me to await your return, for I knew in my heart that you would never do so. Just the thought of it breaks my heart.
Johnathan, that is, Lord Blackmoore is the man I will be marrying, and he has counseled that the past should stay in the past. I have come to realize that he is correct in his words. You are a part of my past that I will always cherish. Know this: You will have a place in my heart forever. However, it is time for me to finally say goodbye to you, as much as it pains me to do so. It is what is best for me.
Once, I believed that Cornwall was where all my dreams would come true, and for a while, I thought they had. Now I know I am destined for the same fate as my mother—married to a man I despise. Regardless, I will remain strong and endure what fate has given me.
Please know that I will always remember our time together and cherish them to my dying days.
With all my love,
Alice
Alice wiped at the tears that trickled down her cheeks, even as a few dripped off her chin and onto the letter, creating tiny spots of blurred ink. She stood to refill her wine glass when the door to her living quarters opened, startling her. Before her stood Johnathan, completely drenched and his face pinched in anger.
“Why are you crying?” he demanded as he walked past her and lifted the now empty wine bottle. “Have you been drinking?”
“I have,” Alice said as she stuck out her chin. “What business is it of yours?”
He closed his eyes for several moments, and Alice held her breath. It had been a long time since she had seen him this angry, and in her slightly inebriated state, she was not sure she could maintain her defiance.
“I need to speak with you,” he said finally as he reached in his coat pocket and handed her a handkerchief.
The tears refused to stop. “Give me a moment, please,” she said before hurrying out of the room. She stood in a far corner of the shop where she took a deep breath and calmed her nerves. He was angry, to be sure, but she had made the first step in settling her life. Now that she had finally written to Thomas about her upcoming marriage, the next issue with which she needed grapple was Jane and the shared kiss she had seen in the alleyway and what part she played in Alice’s future. If Johnathan thought she would stand for him sharing his bed with the woman while Alice slept in the room next to his, he was poorly mistaken.
Feeling much more in control, she returned to the back room only to find him with the letter she had written to Thomas in his hands.
He looked up at her with narrowed eyes. “You despise me?” he asked in a voice that only sounded slightly controlled.
Her heart raced. “I can explain if you give me…”
“I do not wish to hear your excuses,” he snapped as he tossed the letter back on the table. “You have seduced me enough with your words, which I now know to be complete lies. “I have to say, you disappoint me.”
Alice glared at him. “You are no saint, Johnathan!” she spat. “I know your ways.” Hot tears ran down her face, but they no longer burdened her as they had earlier.
“You have spent money like a fool over the past week!” he yelled. “After all I taught you about making prudent business decisions, you go and spend more money than the Queen herself! Dresses, jewelry, shoes, all of it frivolous. And what of this new wing you feel that should be built for Sally and her husband-to-be? How dare you make changes to my home without consulting me first! I may be no saint, but I certainly am not a fool!”
Alice stared at the man and wondered if he would strike her, though his words caused enough pain. She went to speak but he continued his rant.
“You are no better than Jane,” he said through a clenched jaw. “All you want is more money to spend on whatever piques your fancy. And here I thought you were different, but you are not better than she.”
Upon hearing the woman’s name, something inside her erupted. “I know you still want her in your bed,” she shouted. When he went to argue, she stopped him. “Do not lie and tell me otherwise.”
“You have no idea what I want,” he sneered. “And that is your problem. However, I do know what you want.” He grabbed the letter from the table and clenched it in his hand. “If I even see this Thomas looking at you, know that I will have him hung before the sun has risen the following day.”
“How dare you say such a thing about him!” she cried out, the pain of his words so great that without thinking, she shot her hand out and struck him across the face, the sound echoing loudly through the room. She went to strike him again, but he grabbed her wrist and held it still.
“No more money, no more spending,” he said through a clenched jaw. “We will leave in three days to return to your father. You will marry me and will sleep in the room next to mine. You will work here during the day once we have returned to Cornwall and sleep alone at night at Cliff Heights Estate. This will be your life, Alice, so prepare yourself for it.” He pushed her wrist away and glared down at her as she wept silently, her anger now gone, replaced by a numb acceptance. At least she knew the truth about what her life would be like.
“I loved you,” Alice said in a low voice. She had never felt so alone and hurt in her life, even after Thomas had left. Her worst fears had come true—she would have the same life as her mother.
The look Johnathan gave her made her shiver. “Never say those words to me again,” he said in smoldering voice before storming out of the room. Soon the front door to the shop slammed closed and Alice could only stand staring after him in shock. How could she have allowed the man into her heart? For it ended just as she had suspected. He had trampled on her heart and now she was left to fend for herself in what would be a loveless marriage.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Johnathan’s anger had not dissipated in the two days that followed their outburst in the tiny living quarters Alice had at the back of the shop. If anything, it had worsened. Something he could not place gnawed at him, and he made every attempt to push the feelings aside as he turned his attention to the ledger before him. He calculated the sum he had lost since he set out in search of Alice so long ago, and the cost was high. He scolded himself inwardly for agreeing to help her with the millinery. What he should have done was put her in a carriage and rode away without turning back. It would have saved him time and, more importantly, money. She had cost him quite a bit of it, and he would make sure she paid him back every last pence.
Not only would he take back control of her shop, he would also control everything in her life. From her meals to her attire, she would no longer have any say. Perhaps it would teach her a lesson in crossing him.
He closed the ledger and let out a sigh. His gaze moved to the letter he had kept when he left her shop, the one she had written to this Thomas, the man she wanted more than Johnathan. His anger grew as he reread the words ‘the man I despise’, and then another emotion came to light: hurt. Why did her words hurt him to such a degree? She did not deserve compassion after what she had done, and yet he could not hel
p but feel bothered by her words.
Pushing himself from the desk, he stood and began to pace the room trying to make sense of his feelings. Her last words had been “I loved you”, but had she spoken truthfully? And if so, what caused her to no longer love him?
“Putting a woman first had been your mistake,” he said aloud. It mattered not if she loved him. His focus had to be on business and nothing more. These feelings of hurt he was reliving were the same he had when Jane left him all those years ago, and although it took him some time to get over that hurt, he had indeed gotten over it, releasing his pain and anger on the female servants and replacing them when need be.
A knock came to the door. “Come!” he shouted.
Hannah entered, her shift so sheer, she might have simply come in bereft of clothing. “You asked for me, My Lord?” she asked in her soft, sweet voice.
Indeed, he had requested her presence. Now that he was no longer a man in love, he sought the arms of another woman, any woman, and Hannah had been the woman he saw first earlier in the evening.
He said nothing as he walked up and stood before her. She placed her hand on her shoulder and began to pull down the shift, but as she lifted her face, Johnathan looked into her eyes and saw something in them that bothered him. Innocence. He had never taken Hannah to his bed, and as she lowered her shift, he could not help but see his own reflection behind the innocence in her eyes. What he saw made him cringe, for it was the image of a man who was hurt and seeking to ease his pain with a woman he did not love.
“No,” he said firmly. “Stop.”
She stared up at him with fear clearly etched on her face. “I am sorry, My Lord,” she said in a shaky voice. “Have I displeased you?”
The Spinsters Secret Page 20
