“It is the reason I remained a spinster,” she replied as she pulled away and turned to look back over the ocean. “It was my secret, and now I will share it with you.” She took a deep breath and then turned to gaze up at him once again, her green eyes now clouded with pain. He wished to take away that pain and yet was unsure as to how to do so.
“It was six years ago this summer that Thomas was preparing to leave…”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Six Years Earlier
Alice looked behind her as she and Thomas hurried through the gardens, their footsteps silent along the stone path. The sun shone down on them and its rich rays warmed Alice. Or perhaps it was the hand she was holding, the hand belonging to the man she loved.
“Hurry,” Thomas whispered, “I fear what will happen to me if we are seen.”
Alice giggled as they neared the outer edge of the garden and disappeared into a row of hedges. Coming to a stop, Alice smiled up at him, loving the way his hair hung over his forehead.
“I told you my father is out all day on business and Mother is busy with Emily,” Alice assured him. “We are safe.” It was always the same when they found a few moments to escape together, for they feared that, if they were caught, Thomas would lose his position or even be flogged for showing such great disrespect to the family.
“I’m sorry,” Thomas said once they were well hidden, “but you must realize you are everything to me. The thought of not being with you, or even able to see you, brings on such great sadness, I’m unsure whether I would survive.”
“I know,” Alice sighed. “I also suffer when we are not together. Please know, I will miss you.” She reached into the pocket of her gown and pulled out a bank note. “I want you to have this to help toward your suit.” When he tried to push her hand away, she added, “Please, take it.”
“No, you keep it,” he said as he closed her hand around the money. “I have saved my money and it’s that money that will buy the tailcoat and breeches that will impress your father.” His smile was so proud that Alice could only return the note to her pocket. Thomas cared nothing for station, nor did he care for wealth. All that concerned him was happiness, which was the exact opposite of her father. Today, Thomas was leaving for London to buy a new set of clothing from one of the best tailors in all of England. His argument was that, if he could look the part of a gentleman, perhaps her father would agree to allow them to marry. The thought of him going so far from home made her tremble with fear.
“I know what you are thinking,” Thomas said as he took her chin in his fingers. “But worry not. Your father will have no choice but to give me his approval for your hand. I have saved up all of my wages and have enough to get us started on our own. Granted we will not be able to live in a grand house such as this, but it is enough to rent a small cottage where you can grow your own vegetables and we can raise a few sheep.”
How she loved when he spoke of their future together. It was always with a confident voice and always was reassuring. This time, however, she could not help but doubt. “What if he does not accept your request?” she asked as she gazed up at him. “What then?”
“Then I will have my horse ready at midnight waiting outside for you. We will run off to Cornwall and live out our lives together as husband and wife.” He leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips, a kiss that reassured her that everything would be all right.
“I should be going,” he said, though he seemed reluctant to release her. “The sooner I leave, the sooner I will return.”
Alice nodded and then raised up on the tips of her toes to give him one last kiss. “Something to remember me by until you return,” she whispered.
“Alice!”
“That’s Mother,” Alice said in a hurried whisper. “You had better go now before she finds us.”
“I love you, Alice,” Thomas said quickly.
She placed her hand on the side of his face. “And I love you,” she said.
“Alice! Where are you, child?”
“Now go! I will await your return.” Then Thomas was gone. Less than a minute later, Alice emerged from the hedge just as her mother turned a corner.
“Whatever are you doing?” her mother asked in an angry voice. “Did you not hear me calling you?”
“Yes, Mother, I’m sorry. I was just listening to a bird in that tree over there.”
Mrs. Huntington squinted in the direction Alice pointed and said, “Really, my dear, you should brush up on your birds. That is a robin, and its song is so beautiful…”
Alice stopped listening to her mother’s impromptu lesson on the virtues of knowing all there is to know about robins and thought on the long journey Thomas would be taking to London. She had tried with no result to make him purchase a tailcoat from a tailor in Exeter, but he insisted that only the best would do. Nothing she said would convince him otherwise. Although she felt great pride in the fact he wished to impress her father, she wished he had not chosen to ride so far from home.
How she would miss him, but she knew that once he returned, one way or another, they would be together…forever.
***
“I do not care if you wish it or not,” Mrs. Huntington snapped. “Lord Donaldson will dine with us, and you will attend. And there will be no more argument.”
Alice wished only to shout at her mother that there was no need for her and her father to have men over to dine with her, for she had already given her heart to another man. However, Thomas was not due to return from London for at least another week, and until then, she had to remain silent about their affections for one another.
“I understand,” Alice said in a low voice.
“Good,” her mother replied. “Now, we have just over an hour before he arrives, which gives us very little time to dress. I do not understand how you can make everything so difficult.” Her mother droned on and on, but Alice pushed her voice from her mind as she gazed out the window.
A cart came into view, and Alice looked down with interest. She had never seen the driver before and doubted very highly that the man was there to do business with her father, his clothes were much too simple. Curiosity got the better of her, and she left the room and headed downstairs, leaving her mother to stand gaping after her. It really was not like her to be so rude to her mother, but something pulled her toward the man and his cart.
Her father was already out the door and speaking with the man when she arrived to stand at the top of the steps.
“Right shame, My Lord,” the man was saying. “Highwaymen have no morals.”
Mr. Huntington nodded in agreement.
Alice’s heart began to race. “Father?” she said in a shaky voice.
When he turned back to look at her, his face was solemn. “Go back inside, Alice,” he said.
“What is wrong?” she asked as she took the first step down. Her body felt numb, and she felt as if bricks had been tied to her feet.
“It’s nothing with which to concern yourself, my dear. Thomas, the stable boy, I’m afraid he was set upon by highwaymen. He’s dead. Now, please, go back inside.”
Alice felt the world spin around her. She took the final steps to stand beside the cart. A long broadcloth sheet lay across what was clearly a body, and Alice could not stop herself from reaching out and pulling back the cloth. Staring back at her was the handsome face of the man she loved, his hair matted with dried blood and a deep bruise on his temple. It could not be Thomas! And yet, there was no mistaking his straight nose and trim jawline. There he lay, the man who had saved up enough money to go all the way to London simply to buy clothing to impress her father so he could impress the man enough to allow him to marry her.
“Alice!” her father yelled at her. “Get back from there this instance.”
Tears rimmed her eyes and she ran up the steps only to run straight into her mother.
“Come now,” he mother soothed. “Let us go inside.”
“Thomas is dead,” Alice sobbed.
“She has never been unfortunate enough to see anyone dead, let alone someone she knew,” her father explained to the man who had brought the body of the man Alice loved back home.
“Let it not bother you so,” Mrs. Huntington said. She kept her arms around Alice’s shoulders as they walked inside. “We cannot allow such a tragedy to spoil our dinner plans. It is a great loss, of course, but he was only a stable boy. Now, let’s finish dressing for dinner.”
***
A week after Thomas was buried, Alice found herself in the stable where she had first seen Thomas. In her hand she held a nail and she looked at her handiwork on the wooden beam before her. Through tears, she smiled at the two sets of initials she had left as a reminder of her love for a young stable boy.
“It is here that I first saw you and fell in love with you,” she whispered. “I am so sorry, Thomas. I am sorry for what happened to you, and sorry we never made it to Cornwall.”
Her dreams were now gone, taken to the grave with the man she loved. Deep down, she knew she could never love again.
“I make a promise to you this night. I will become a spinster, for no man will ever have my heart as you did.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
As the wind continued to blow around Alice, she heard the pounding waves crash against the shore behind her. The rain had let up somewhat, now only a light mist rather than the downpour it had been. As she looked up into the face of the man she loved, the sun broke from behind the clouds and shone over them as if God Himself were smiling down and blessing their relationship, bringing on a promise that, even in the darkest of times, light would always shine through. It represented the light that illuminated one’s heart and soul, and that light was called Love.
“And now you know the truth,” Alice said as she completed her tale, unable to stop the tears that mixed with the drops of rain on her face. Yet, she did not want to stop them, for it was as if they were cleansing her soul, sanctifying and renewing it, something which needed to be done for a very long time. “I promised I would remain a spinster in order to honor Thomas. Then I met you. On the onset, I must be honest and admit that I could not stand the sight of you. You reminded me so much of my father in that you loved business more than you loved those around you. However, as we spent time together, I came to learn that what I thought I knew of you was untrue.”
Johnathan nodded. “I am not certain I cared much for that person either,” he said.
She peered down at his hands, which held hers. “That day I opened my heart up to you had shown me that I did not wish to be that woman any longer. So much about you, the manner in which you laugh, the way in which you hold yourself, and even how you are able to use the ocean behind us to make something complicated seem that much easier to understand, everything about you, I have come to love.”
“I feel the same for you,” he said in reply, and Alice could see what he said was true, for his eyes were as clear as a summer sky.
She tilted her head and crinkled her brow. “Title and wealth have hurt us both. Perhaps I should not speak ill of her, for I know her not, but it seems that Jane left you for a man of greater title and of greater wealth and cared nothing for the devastation she left behind. My father, on the other hand, would never accept a man who was without either title or wealth.” Then she giggled. “That night in the stables…I thought you could never be a gentleman, perhaps you were more of a mask of one, even with your title and wealth. You were so arrogant I wanted to strangle you.” She gazed into his eyes and smiled. “I am glad I chose not to.”
Johnathan smiled. “I must admit that I thought you a mad woman for talking to yourself that night. I am glad you are not.”
“I have found what I have needed all this time is you, Johnathan,” Alice said. “I must admit that the words you spoke to me, ‘the past should stay in the past’ had me thinking.” She kissed his hand. “Now I know that there is no more past…only a future. A future which is grander than anything I could have imagined.”
“And I want that future only with you,” Johnathan added.
“I want you to know,” Alice said, her cheeks heating up, “I was foolish to spend so much money, and I will not do so again. It was only my anger over Jane that caused me to do so, and I now know she poses no more threat.”
Johnathan laughed. “Does that mean that if I anger you again, you might leave me a pauper?”
She gave him a light slap on the arm. “Johnathan!” she gasped, but she laughed all the same. “You never have to worry again. I make my promise to be much more prudent with your money.”
“Our money,” he whispered. “And if you wish to buy a hundred gowns, you may do so.” Then he paused and added, “Well, perhaps not a hundred.”
Alice smiled up at him and her heart swelled. “I need only a husband who loves me, one who can help guide me as we build a family together, and I know that man to be you.”
“Know this, I know that you are the only woman for me. I love you, Alice.” He lowered his lips to hers, and Alice thought the world around her would explode. Their kiss deepened, became hungrier and when it ended, both were breathless.
“We really should get out of the rain,” Johnathan said, although he made no movement toward the pier.
“Indeed, we admittedly should.” Neither moved as they stared into each other’s eyes. That is, until a wave washed up and over their feet.
“We look quite the pair standing out here in the rain with ocean coming in to cover us, do we not?” Johnathan said with a laugh.
“Shall we go back to the shop? Well, if I am still allowed in it.” She gave him a mischievous smile.
Jonathan laughed again. “Yes, you are allowed to return to your shop, and I will even allow you a bit of spending money, but not too much.”
She gave him a feigned scowl. “A bit? Do you not know a lady needs new dresses? Do you expect your wife to appear impoverished?”
“Impoverished? No. But seventeen dresses and gowns? I believe you would agree that it is a bit much.”
Alice sighed. “Indeed. I realize the builders, the cobbler, the jeweler…yes, they were all a little…excessive.” When they reached the road, Alice suddenly stopped and turned to him. “By the way, have the new horses arrived yet?”
Johnathan’s mouth hung open as he stared down at her. “New horses?” he gasped. “I did not purchase…” Then he let out a groan.
They laughed as they hurried across the road, her arm in his, ready to be out of the rain and onto their new lives. Together.
***
Alice stood with Sally outside the shop, their meager bags beside them. “I am quite excited,” Alice said. “Are you?”
Sally nodded eagerly. “I am. I have never been so far from St. Mawes.” She turned to Alice. “Thank you again for everything, and I’m sorry…”
Alice covered the girl’s hand with hers. “No. Thank you. If you had not spoken to Johnathan, I would be leaving today in a much soberer mood.” Nothing could have been truer. The debt of gratitude she owed Sally was great, and she would be forever thankful.
A large carriage with four white horses pulled up in front of them, and Johnathan put his head out the window. “How can women travel with so much?” he demanded.
Alice glanced up at the large trunks strapped to the top and back of the carriage and laughed. “You certainly did not have to bring everything,” she said defensively as she picked up the single bag beside her, the same she had brought with her when she had run away from Glassberry Estate. “I need only a few things.”
“If I had forgotten even a button, you would have scolded me,” he said playfully as he opened the carriage and waited for the footman to place the step on the ground.
“And rightly so,” Alice said with a sniff. As Sally got into the carriage, Alice gave one final glance at the sign above the door, and though she would return relatively soon, she could not hold back tears.
“Alice?” Johnathan asked in a soft voice. “Is something wron
g?”
She shook her head and bit at her lip in an attempt to stop the flow but found it difficult to do so. “Everything is perfect,” she said. “I have all I ever need. The shop, the sea, and most importantly, you.”
“You are everything I have dreamed of and more,” Johnathan said. “Come, let us be on our way. We have our whole lives waiting for us.”
He took her hand and helped her into the carriage. The footman put away the last of the belongings Alice and Sally had brought, and soon the driver flicked the reins and the carriage rocked forward.
Alice watched the docks roll past, the dock hands hard at work and sailors moving to and fro. Seagulls hollered and squawked as they flew in great circles overhead. As the horses gained speed, the landscape became a blur, much like Alice’s life had over the past two months. She had gone from bitter and angry to happy in love, and just as it had been for Johnathan, it was the love they shared that broke through the hurt in their hearts. It was love that brought a spinster who vowed never to marry and a man consumed with anger together, shattering both of their illusions of what they thought happiness was, revealing instead the ultimate truth: Love was not found in dresses or gowns, nor in the purchasing of land and home. It could not be bought or traded. It was the smallest of things, like a man offering his hand so a woman would not stumble. It was the ear that would listen without judgment. It was what was found in a smile.
Alice turned to Johnathan and found him grinning widely at her, and she knew that everything they shared was deeply rooted in love.
Epilogue
Alice read over the letter one last time with joy in her heart and a tear in her eye. The letter had arrived from Miss Sarah Crombly, now Lady Foxworth, the woman she had encountered one year earlier on her escape to Cornwall. The woman had not been forced to marry the man with the crooked eyes who had destroyed her family’s garden, but rather a handsome Duke who had fought the nasty man in a duel, which ended that man’s reign of terror.
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