Last Vampire Standing

by Nancy Haddock

  I ironed my outfit for the evening at Hot Blooded and generally puttered until it was time to dress. My navy blue Capris, taupe bra top, and taupe cotton jacket were perfect—nice, but not too dressy. No way was I wearing the killer heels tonight, not if I might be going toe-to-toe with Laurel. A ponytail was a touch too sporty for the evening, so I tamed my hair as best I could with the flatiron and left it loose.

  Pandora nearly scared me out of my sandals when she rrryyowed from the hood of my truck.

  “Geez, Pandora, wear a bell or something.”

  She gave me a feline smirk. I must go with you.

  “Are you expecting trouble at the club?”

  I must be nearby to stand watch.

  “And that’s all you’re saying, huh?” I opened the driver’s-side door. “Fine, get in, but please don’t scare Jo-Jo again.”

  No, another time would be a bore.

  By nine o’clock, we were headed to Daytona in my SSR, Pandora so quiet on the back floorboard, I don’t think Jo-Jo knew she was in the truck. Then again, Jo-Jo was such a ball of nerves, I’m not sure he knew his name.

  “What if Wednesday was a fluke?” he asked for the fifth time in ten miles.

  “It wasn’t a fluke,” I assured him yet again. “You’ve had the talent all along. You just needed to update your material and gain confidence.”

  “But this is all happening so fast. Getting an agent, having gigs in Las Vegas and L.A. What if it all craters because I haven’t suffered for my art long enough?”

  “Jo-Jo, you’ve waited decades to get back into show biz.”

  He grinned. “You’re right. That’s long enough.”

  Good thing Jo-Jo calmed down after that. I wasn’t nervous for him, but I was a ball of dread about seeing Laurel. I put out the call to every deity I could think of that she’d still be banned from Hot Blooded.

  The parking lot was jammed—a good sign, I hoped—but I found a spot near the Dumpster. I also saw Saber get out of his SUV, and breathed a sigh of relief that he’d beat us here. Pandora hopped out and scuttled away, presumably to patrol.

  Donita, dressed in dark brown slacks and shimmery salmon-colored blouse, met us just outside the club’s back entrance.

  “Thank you for doing a show for us, Jo-Jo,” she said when I introduced them. “I’ve spoken with your agent, and seated him at a ringside table. Your drinks are on the house tonight, of course,” she said to Saber and me.

  Donita smiled and said all the right words, but she was strung as tight as a garrote. As soon as we crossed into the shadowed back hall of the club, I knew why. Laurel was back. Out of sight, but ranting so loudly, the whole club could probably hear her.

  “This is a vampire bar, Lord Ike,” she railed from a room somewhere above us. “Mortals should walk the edge of their worst nightmares and darkest fantasies here, not be entertained by a comic. That twit of a manager is turning Hot Blooded into a club just like any other in Daytona.”

  A masculine voice answered her, speaking too quietly for me to catch the words, but I heard the clacking beads of human bone that Laurel wore in her cornrows.

  I wrinkled my nose at the clacking and at the odor of oranges permeating the hall.

  “Where is Laurel?” I whispered to Donita.

  She sighed and ran a hand through her curls. “In Ike’s office. His door faces the stairs. She went up just as I went out to meet you.”

  I looked up the partly open staircase. Yes, the smell was a little stronger there.

  “A thousand pardons,” Laurel screeched, “but I must speak. Having a comic perform here is bad enough, but he brings that pitiful excuse of a vampire bitch Francesca with him. She will infiltrate your territory, Lord Ike. She will take your nest for her own. Surely you must see that.”

  Again, we heard Ike’s voice, indistinct but rumbling. It didn’t sound like his happy voice, if he had one. Tempted as I was to turn up the vamp hearing and listen in, I didn’t. Not out of respect but because Saber distracted me.

  “When did Ike let her out of solitary?” he asked Donita.

  “Thursday.” Donita shrugged apologetically and turned to Jo-Jo. “I’m sorry for this. Let me take you to your dressing room and make you comfortable.”

  But Jo-Jo didn’t move. His facial muscles had drawn tight, making his thin face look almost skeletal.

  “Jo-Jo,” I said, lightly touching his arm.

  He startled.

  “What’s up, Jo-Jo?” Saber asked, his cop face sliding into place. “You look like you recognize Laurel’s voice.”

  “I do. She sounds like my ex-girlfriend. On steroids. I think I just got nervous again.”

  Donita smiled. “Come on. The dressing room isn’t lavish, but it’s quiet. And really, everyone but Laurel is excited you’re here.”

  That stretched the truth like a whale in a bikini.

  Once Jo-Jo was settled, Donita showed us through an unmarked door. I didn’t recall seeing it during the raid, but the door led to the club proper and wasn’t far from the front row of tables where Vince and Jessica Atlas sat.

  I introduced Jessica Atlas to Saber, then Vince asked Donita a question that allowed Saber and me to talk.

  We kept our voices extra low because, in spite of the blaring music, vampires have bat ears.

  “Jo-Jo’s reaction to hearing Laurel’s voice was more than he let on, wasn’t it?” I said.

  Saber nodded. “He’s a sucky liar.”

  “Do you think it’s important?”

  “I don’t know, but remember those GPS tracker records I ordered on Laurel? They prove she’s been in Atlanta at least once a month since mid-April.”

  “Did Jo-Jo actually meet her at Vlad’s, do you think? Or did he overhear her talking?”

  “I suppose he could have recognized her voice alone. God knows, she isn’t quiet.”

  “What do we do now?”

  “Keep an eye on the vamps in here until we can have a discussion with Jo-Jo.”

  “Gotcha. By the way, I smell that funny citrus odor again. It was stronger in the back hall than it is in here.”

  Our drinks arrived, served by Suzy, the vamp who’d worn the cheerleader outfit when we were here last. Tonight, in jeans and a plain T-shirt, she looked like she wanted to say something, but the music faded, and a spotlight lit a wooden stage skirted with bloodred fabric.

  Saber and I exchanged a loaded glance when Ike himself literally and slowly flew over the crowd to land on the stage. He bowed to the shocked audience and stepped up to the standing microphone.

  “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” he said, his inflection part Alfred Hitchcock, part Vincent Price. “Welcome to Hot Blooded, where you may walk the edge of danger and delight. Tonight we present Jo-Jo the Jester.”

  The two didn’t shake hands when Jo-Jo trotted up the stage steps, but that wasn’t unusual. Vamps didn’t observe that bit of human tradition. No, what surprised me was the long, measuring look Jo-Jo gave Ike.

  Then Jo-Jo turned to the mike and launched into his routine. He used the same material he had for open-mike night, but expanded it to poke more fun at vampire life. He had the crowd in his pocket from the beginning, and they never wavered, even when he told a clunker joke. Vince jotted notes on every audience reaction. To coach Jo-Jo later?

  Surprisingly, most of the vampires seemed to enjoy Jo-Jo’s show. Tower actually cracked a smile at the denture cream line, and Suzy and Coach laughed along with the humans when Jo-Jo told a vampire football joke.

  Ike and Laurel stood near the long bar, yet apart from each other. Laurel exuded such barely controlled anger, the bone beads in her hair vibrated. Ike appeared to ignore her, and his expression remained impassive. Until, that is, Jo-Jo clowned about hanging out in St. Augustine with Princess Ci, and calling me all the silly royal names he’d annoyed me with since we’d met. Ike was most definitely not amused then, but neither was I. At least Jo-Jo didn’t mention our flight lessons.

  When Jo-Jo went into
his final juggling bit, the crowd went wild with whistles and applause. Judging by Vince’s grin, the act was a hit again.

  Jo-Jo worked his way to our table, stopping to schmooze here and there. Ike, on the other hand, made a beeline for me.

  “Princess Vampire, a few words, if you please?”

  I didn’t please. Ike’s energy made my skin crawl and sting as if being bitten by an army of fire ants.

  Still, I was civil. “Certainly, Ike. Saber, you want to stretch your legs with us?”

  Ike led us into the back hall through the door we’d used earlier, and Laurel slammed in right behind us.

  “You.” She charged at me, fangs out, bone beads clacking in her cornrows like a Halloween skeleton in a high wind. “I will kill you for bringing mockery upon Lord Ike.”

  My heart had lodged in my throat, but I stood still and si-phoned just a touch of her energy. Well, that and fanned my hand between us.

  “Geez, Laurel, back off. You smell like lemon Pledge.”

  That surprised her, and she retreated a scant inch. Enough to see remnant silver burns on her wrists, and sense them on her ankles. I sucked off a tad more energy for good measure.

  “Now,” I said mildly, “what is your problem?”

  “She speaks,” Ike bit out, “of Jo-Jo mocking the vampire way of life. It is not a matter for humor.”

  I kept my eyes on Laurel, watching, waiting for her next move as I answered. “News flash, guys. In America, everything is fodder for humor.”

  “Mortals should fear us,” Laurel hissed in my face. “We are superior in every way.”

  “You know, that superior race attitude didn’t work out real well for Hitler. Besides, you might want to remember that Saber’s standing right there.”

  “Bitch,” Laurel shrieked.

  She raised a hand to slap me, but I saw it and moved faster.

  I blocked her arm, swept her legs out from under her, and put her on her back on the tile floor in under two seconds.

  The moment she was down, Saber was there, pressing the barrel of his semiautomatic into Laurel’s forehead, trembling with the effort of holding his fire.

  FIFTEEN

  I’d seen Saber in full cop mode, but this was slayer mode.

  “Don’t. Even. Twitch,” he said, low and deadly. When Laurel froze, Saber slanted a hard look at Ike. “Do you control her, or do I exterminate her here and now?”

  Ike divided his black gaze between Saber and me, his thin lips clamped into a white line. With an audible hiss of breath, he finally spoke to Laurel.

  “Go to my office and wait,” he commanded.

  Saber hesitated, then eased back, but kept his weapon steady on her heart until Laurel rose and streaked down the hall and up the stairs. Even then, he didn’t relax. He stood guard, weapon trained on the partially open stairwell.

  “I will not forget this display of force in my territory,” Ike growled.

  “I’m not forgetting it either,” Saber snapped. “One more violation, and you cross Laurel off your roster of nestmates.”

  “Laurel may have an unruly temper, but she is correct in her suspicions. The Princess Vampire seeks to take over my nest.”

  I unclenched my fists and shook my head at him. “Ike, Ike, Ike. Let me make this perfectly clear. I wouldn’t take your nest or your territory if you handed it to me on a platinum platter.”

  “And yet the comic conveys a different message when he calls you those names. Royalness, Highness, Magnificence.”

  “Weren’t you paying attention out there? He didn’t just call me those names, he created jokes out of them. He’s mocking his own past as a court jester.”

  Ike narrowed his eyes as if weighing the truth of what I said. “He did not seek to plant the idea that my vampires should swear loyalty to you?”

  “Hardly. That was part of the act, not a plot.”

  “Still, I will not allow him to perform at Hot Blooded again.”

  “Allow him?” I laughed. “Ike, Jo-Jo’s booked in Vegas. You won’t be able to afford him again. Now, are we done?”

  The connecting door to the club opened then, and Jo-Jo stuck his head in.

  “Oh, hey, am I interrupting?”

  Ike pursed his lips, but waved Jo-Jo in.

  “Vince and his wife are leaving,” Jo-Jo said, eyeing Saber as he holstered his weapon. “Are you ready to go, PC, or do you want to stay awhile?”

  “PC?” Ike echoed. “Does that not mean politically correct?”

  “Well, yeah, but it’s also short for Princess Ci.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Give it a rest, Jo-Jo.”

  “Why?” he asked, looking genuinely confused.

  “Never mind,” I said as the club door opened again.

  This time Donita slipped into the hall. She blinked to see us standing there but recovered quickly when Ike held out his hand to her.

  “Do you know where Laurel is?” Donita asked him.

  “She is in my office.”

  “Oh. Can you send her down? I need you to sign Jo-Jo’s check, and, uh—”

  “It would be better if she were not present?”

  “Yes. I’m sorry.”

  “It is no matter.”

  Ike turned his head toward the stairs, and I knew he sent Laurel the mind message to go to the bar by the front staircase. Scary how I read not only his intention but clearly saw the images he projected without even trying. I so did not want to be in Ike’s head.

  In a moment, we all heard Laurel’s footsteps above us, a stomping, petulant child.

  Donita kissed Ike’s cheek. “Thanks. I’ve already written the check and recorded it. You just need to sign it.”

  Ike inclined his head. “Jo-Jo, would you care to accompany me to collect your fee?”

  I didn’t like Ike’s tone, but Jo-Jo nodded. “Lead on.”

  When Ike and Jo-Jo reached the top of the stairs, Donita leaned in close to us.

  “Mr. Saber,” she said softly, “could I talk with you for a moment outside? I need to be sure that we’re private.”

  Saber arched a brow at me.

  “Go on. I’ll see if Jo-Jo left anything in the dressing room.”

  I slipped into what looked like a break room for the employees. A few chairs and a worn couch crowded the space, but it seemed clean. A bathroom was to the right, so I peered in there. Jo-Jo didn’t seem to have left anything, but I heard voices through an air vent. From the cadence, one of the voices was Ike’s.

  I did what any snoop would do. I turned on my vamp hearing and eavesdropped.

  “. . . I will kill you,” Ike said. “Do you understand?”

  “I’m poking fun at my life as a vampire, not yours. Why should you care?” Jo-Jo countered. “Besides, I know who the real power is behind you, Ike. If you don’t want to find yourself permanently replaced, back off.”

  “You dare to threaten me?” Ike roared.

  “I dare. I know what your silent partner is like, and I know who’s been kissing up to him. You’d do well to take care of that nice Donita and leave me, the Princess Francesca, and all those she cares for alone.” Footsteps tracked overhead and a door opened. “Watch your back, Ike.”

  I got a flash of Ike’s fear in my head, and jerked back from the vent to see my own astonished expression reflected in the medicine cabinet mirror.

  Someone else was controlling Ike, and Jo-Jo knew who it was? I couldn’t wait to wring every last detail from him.

  I scurried back to the hall and stood at the bottom of the staircase just as Jo-Jo descended. He looked as serious as he had brandishing my fake sword a few nights ago.

  “I’m ready to split when you are.”

  We found Donita and Saber coming from the parking lot as we went out. Donita thanked Jo-Jo again and wished him the best. Saber reminded me he’d pick me up Sunday to see Neil’s house and gave me a chaste kiss good night. Darn it on the chaste part.

  Then again, Pandora was waiting to hop into the back floorboard, and
I was itching to pump Jo-Jo for information. Saber would just distract me.

  I let Jo-Jo chatter about the act, how pleased Vince was, and how Vince had arranged for them to fly to L.A. by charter jet tomorrow night.

  “Just think. Me, in the jet set. Of course, I could fly out there myself, but it would take a couple of nights. And it’s too far to take luggage or my laptop.”

  I did a double take. “Wait. You could fly all the way to California? Like the kind of flying you’re teaching me?”

  “Yeah, but, boy, would my arms be tired.”

  “That joke sucks,” I said, but felt my lips twitch.

  “Hey, you walked right into it.” The highway lights illuminated his grin. “By the way, I’m not that tired. You want one last flying lesson? We could practice in your cottage so nobody can take potshots at us.”

  I agreed because, if nothing else, I hadn’t given up the fantasy of levitating with Saber during sex.

  However, that thought didn’t deter me from quizzing him.

  “So, did you recognize Laurel tonight?”

  “Laurel?”

  “The cornrow queen. Have you seen her before?”

  “No, Highness.”

  “Then you’ve heard her voice, and you recognized it, right? You might as well tell me. I heard you in Ike’s office.”

  “Heard what, Your Royal Beauteousness?”

  “Can the crap. Who’s the power behind Ike, and where have you seen—or heard—Laurel before tonight?”

  Jo-Jo squirmed in the passenger seat. “Princess, I don’t think it’s safe for you to know.”

  “If you tell me, you’ll have to kill me?”

  “Never, but someone else may.”

  “Jo-Jo, don’t make me stop this car. Spill.”

  He heaved a sigh and bit his lip. “All right, but please don’t let Ike know you know.”

  “Duh, like I would.”

  “All right. Laurel has been in Vlad’s court. I didn’t see her clearly, so, truly, I did not recognize her.”

  I believed him, if for no other reason than that he’d lapsed into his odd mixture of formal and casual speech. “Go on.”