Disgraced

by Natasha Knight

  “You need to sleep,” I said.

  “I have been—off and on.”

  “When can you go home?” I asked.

  “A couple of days. But we’ll be back every day.”

  “I’ll come with you,” I said. “I’ll drive.” I gave her a wink. My driving skills were horrendous.

  “I’ll drive,” Raphael said firmly, turning Sofia’s wheelchair around and leading us back to her room. Once there, he helped her back into bed and she asked me to stay a few minutes. Raphael and Damon left us alone.

  I pulled up a chair, and Sofia studied me, her face more serious than I’d ever seen it.

  “I was really worried about you.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “You should have told me about school. Told me about that other notebook. What did you think I’d do?”

  I looked at the floor, ashamed of myself, angry with myself for having hurt her. But what happened, it needed to happen. “I needed to make my own peace with this. I never meant to hurt you. It’s just that I got deeper and deeper into it before I knew it, and I couldn’t involve you after that. You or the babies or Raphael.”

  “He can more than take care of us.”

  “I know that. He’s like Damon.”

  “You saw Grandfather?”

  “I did. And I think I’ve made that peace. He is who he is. And I do believe that, in his own way, he is remorseful.” I didn’t say more. Maybe I would one day, but not now.

  Sofia nodded, took my hand, and pushed my sleeve up to take in the tattoo that enveloped my arm. “Wow, Lina. This is beautiful.”

  I felt my face redden, embarrassed at her praise. “I designed it myself. Wait until you see the rest of it.”

  She kept hold of my hand but returned her attention to my face. “And Damon?”

  “He’s leaving seminary. He won’t ever be ordained.”

  She gave me a bright smile that turned into a yawn. “I need to hear this story form beginning to end.”

  “But you need to get some sleep first.”

  “Yeah.” She yawned again, and her eyes fluttered closed. “I’m so happy now, Lina. I have my husband, my children, you, and Damon back home. I have everything.”

  Damon and Raphael walked in just as she drifted off to sleep. I pulled the blankets up to her neck and stood.

  “Should we go outside, so we don’t wake her?” I asked.

  Raphael gave me a smirk. “A marching band won’t wake that one once she’s fallen asleep.”

  I laughed. That was true. Sofia slept like the dead.

  “Why don’t you two go home, get some rest. Come back tonight. And bring some food,” Raphael made a face. “It’s terrible here.” He reached into his pocket. “Take my car. It’s easier.”

  Damon grabbed the keys. “Thanks. Need anything else?”

  “A change of clothes would be nice. We’d only packed for Sofia, which was kind of dumb,” Raphael said.

  “Where are you sleeping?” I asked.

  “They’ll roll a cot in here.”

  We said good-bye, and I kissed Sofia’s forehead before leaving. Damon and I gathered our things at the nurse’s station. We headed to the garage, where Raphael’s car was parked, and drove to the house. We didn’t talk much along the way, both of us tired, relieved, taking in the surroundings. All the change. But he held his hand over mine, which rested on my leg, between shifting gears, and the closer we got to the house, the more right this felt, the more at home I felt. And just as he brought the car to a stop at the house, I turned to him and touched his face, pushing hair out of his eyes.

  “Thank you so much for all you did for me. I honestly wasn’t sure I’d ever be back here again before you found me. You risked your life, Damon.” As I said it, the full weight of it, of that night at Alexi’s penthouse, of Damon being held by Alexi’s men, Alexi ordering his beating, my rape…it all hit me like a ton of bricks, and all of a sudden, uncontrollable tears began to fall from my eyes. I knew it was a much-needed release, a necessary thing, I just didn’t expect it to happen like this, not after all this time, all that had happened since.

  Damon wrapped me in his arms, pulling me in tight.

  “You never have to face anything alone again, Lina. I’m here. And I’m not walking away ever again.”

  Epilogue 1

  Damon

  Autumn

  Zach had been in touch with Raphael via a brief letter posted without a return address, telling him only that he was alive and that he would be in contact as soon as possible. He’d been right about a visit from the United States Military. It hadn’t been to me, but to Raphael. Since the apartment at the church wasn’t registered in my name, officially, I didn’t live there.

  During their visit, they’d told Raphael that Zach’s final mission had failed, and that they believed him to be either a prisoner of a terrorist group or, if he were lucky, that he’d already been killed. I’d previously talked to Raphael about Zach’s visit, so he’d been prepared for the news.

  We’d transferred funds to the account Zach had created under the alias Michael Beckham. It was more than he’d requested, as much as Raphael and I could give him. We both wished he’d let us help him, but after seeing him that day in New York City, I knew it was something he had to do himself. I just hoped he’d be safe doing it.

  Over the last two years, as the vineyard slowly grew, the ash that blackened it was replaced by vibrant vines with leaves that sprouted as green as Lina’s eyes. Fat, juicy grapes ready to be picked now weighed down each branch. Since Sofia and Raphael’s second wedding ceremony, Raphael and I had also started working on the house—at least until I’d been sent to New York City. Lina and I moved into a separate part of the house.

  Elena and Siena came home four weeks after they were born. To look at them now, no one would have ever guessed how small they were at birth.

  “It’s almost creepy how much like you and Raphael they look,” Lina said one morning as she tucked a blanket over them. Sofia and Raphael had gone out for the day, their first time since Sofia had been put on bedrest months ago.

  “What do you mean ‘creepy?’ They’re gorgeous,” I said with a wink.

  She gave me a huge smile. “Well, they are that. I just hope they don’t get that Amado scruff on their jaws.” Lina rubbed the two-days of growth on my face. We stepped out into the hallway.

  I pulled her in and rubbed my cheek across hers. “You love my scruff, admit it.”

  “It’s so scratchy.”

  I bit her earlobe softly, dragging it out. “I never hear you complain when I bury my face between your legs,” I teased as we walked out into the hallway. The sound of too many people in the house drifted upstairs.

  “I can’t believe you were going to be a priest the way you talk,” she said, heading to the stairs.

  But I grabbed hold of the back of her neck and turned her, leading her toward our bedroom.

  “Damon, what are you doing? They’re waiting for us.”

  “They’ll wait.” I pulled her inside and closed the door. “I haven’t been between your legs in so long, I forgot what you taste like.” Walking her backward toward the bed, I kissed her mouth as I unbuttoned her blouse and cupped one lace-clad breast, pinching the nipple.

  “I thought you’d already made up for lost time.”

  I loved her teasing. I pushed her onto the bed and knelt on the floor, where I dragged her panties down and off before pushing her thighs apart and flipping her short skirt up.

  “Not yet.” I pulled my shirt up over my head, my gaze riveted on her wet, open pussy, all pink and gleaming. I looked at her. She lay with her weight on her elbows, a smile playing on her lips as she watched me. “So my scruff is too scratchy?” I rubbed my chin over her clit, and she bit her lip. “I got the feeling you liked it. Soft and rough at once.” I licked the length of her, and she lifted herself closer to me.

  “Fuck. I love your tongue on me.”

  I drew back and rubbe
d my beard over her. She gripped my hair, tugging me closer, and I feasted, reaching to undo my jeans and push them down, rising to stand as I shoved them and my briefs off. I wanted her, all of her. I needed to be so much closer to her. Needed to be inside her.

  Once I stood naked, I flipped her onto her belly and slapped her ass.

  “Get up on all fours.”

  She did, and I gripped my cock, watching her spread her knees wide and look back at me, watching me with that look in her eye, Lina the seductress. Erotic. Sensual. Always.

  She lowered herself onto her forearms and wiggled her hips from side to side.

  “Fuck, you drive me insane.” Letting go of my cock, I gripped her hips and drew her cheeks apart, dipped my head down, and licked her cunt, trailing my tongue up to her asshole, circling the tight ring, hearing Lina’s gasp for breath. I pushed my tongue inside her before straightening. I took hold of my cock again as I slipped my thumb into her ass. I wasn’t going to last long, not with her wiggling her ass around like she was. Not with her so fucking willing, so wet for me.

  Guiding my cock to her pussy, I rubbed against her, covering myself in her juices as she moaned. I reached one hand to tweak her nipple before shifting it back to take her clit between my fingers.

  Lina cried out then, collapsing on the bed. I hauled her hips up, driving into her harder, feeling her come, feeling her throb around me as she whimpered beneath me. I lay my full weight on top of her, kissing the side of her face as she tightened all her muscles and squeezed my cock until I blew inside her, emptying with a moan, stilling, holding her tight, so fucking tight. Because I was sure of one thing. I’d never get enough of her. Never get close enough to her. I wanted more. More. I wanted everything. Wanted all of her.

  After showering, I went downstairs to join the workers as everyone prepared for the harvest, while Lina stayed inside with the babies. Having her for an aunt meant they were going to be very spoiled.

  It was only after everyone had gone home after dinner and we’d put them to bed after one more feeding that we headed to the living room.

  “I haven’t heard you play in a while,” I said, opening the fall of the piano and sitting down.

  She slid naturally onto the bench beside me. “We won’t wake the babies?”

  I shook my head and kissed her as she set her fingers on the keys, already playing a quiet piece.

  “This is what you were playing the night I first walked into Club Carmen.”

  She nodded, soft music filling the space.

  “I knew it was you the moment I heard it,” I said, my tone quiet, my gaze moving from where her fingers danced over the keys, to her face, so concentrated, almost lost in it.

  “How?”

  She didn’t look at me.

  “I heard it. And all I could think was that the music sounded like a heartbreak.”

  At that she shifted her gaze to me.

  “You heard that?”

  “Yes.”

  “I haven’t played this one in a long time.” She returned her attention to the piano.

  “Did you compose it?”

  She nodded.

  “It’s beautiful.”

  She played, and memory took me back to that night.

  “Damon… Do you ever worry?”

  “Worry?”

  “About things. Your brother, for example. Zach, I mean.”

  “Of course, but I’ve also learned to be aware of what’s in my control and what’s outside of it.”

  “And he’s outside of it.”

  “Yes.”

  She nodded, but I knew that wasn’t all there was to her question. “What’s going on, Lina?”

  She gave a quick, sideways glance but concentrated on the keys. It took her a long time to speak.

  “I don’t want to mess this up.”

  “You won’t.” I studied her face in profile, saw how her eyes had misted over. “Lina, you won’t.” When she didn’t stop playing, I twined my fingers with hers to make her stop and waited until she faced me. Silence descended around us, the only sound the night insects coming from the open window.

  “There are only two things that would make me happier than I am right now,” I said. She waited for me to continue. “One is having Zach here with us. Having him safe and at home.” She nodded with a sad smile and almost pulled her hand out of mine. “And the second,” I said, stopping her. I slipped my hand into my pocket to retrieve the small box inside. Turning it to her, I opened the lid.

  Lina’s eyes widened even more, and she blinked hard, as if unsure what she was seeing was real.

  “What…”

  “The second thing is this. You. Will you marry me, Lina?”

  Epilogue 2

  Lina

  Christmas

  “You look beautiful.”

  Sofia tucked one more pin into my hair as I took one last look at myself.

  “Ready?”

  “I’m nervous,” I said, feeling chilled and sweaty at once.

  “I think that’s normal. It’d be weird if you weren’t. Oh!” Sofia rushed over to where she’d set a small box on the nightstand. “I almost forgot.” She handed it to me.

  “What is it?” Sofia looked beautiful standing there in the tight-fitting emerald-green gown she wore. She’d lost all the weight from pregnancy, and breastfeeding seemed to make her glow.

  “Open it. Something old and new at once.”

  I took it from her and saw how her eyes had already reddened.

  “You’re not going to make me cry already, are you?” I felt the moisture of tears in my eyes.

  “Don’t worry, all your makeup is waterproof.”

  I took the lid off the small white box and pushed the soft tissue paper back to find inside the locket I’d given her the day Raphael had come to take her away years ago.

  “Shit, you are going to make me cry.” I dabbed at my eyes with a tissue.

  “Open it. I took it to a jeweler to make a change to it.”

  With trembling fingers, I drew the locket out of the box and opened it. Inside, rather than the space for only two photos, were two more places. The locket was now like a tiny book with the addition. Inside was a photo of mom and dad, a family photo of Raphael, Sofia, Elena, and Siena, one of Damon, and a final one—which made me giggle—of Charlie as a puppy. “Charlie’s a good addition.”

  “What? He’s family too.”

  “He is.” I touched the one of our parents before closing the locket and looking up at her. “Help me put it on?”

  She took it and walked around behind me, fastening it at the back of my neck.

  “Now you’ll know mom and dad are watching too.”

  “Shit.” I grabbed another tissue out of the box in front of me and handed her one. “Thank you. It’s very thoughtful.”

  A knock came at the door, and Raphael opened it. He looked amazing, as usual, and the thought that Damon would be waiting for me at the end of the aisle looking just like that made my belly flutter.

  “You both look beautiful,” he said. “Ready?”

  “Ready.”

  I stood and faced Sofia, who drew the veil down over my face.

  Raphael drove us to the chapel over the snow-covered fields. We’d had five inches last night. Although I wore a faux-fur white cloak, I shivered when we pulled up to the chapel on the property. It had been fully renovated and, I was glad to report, had a working heating system.

  Since the chapel was small, the ceremony would be a family affair with those closest to us standing witness. I didn’t mind it, and the only pang of sadness I felt was that my grandfather couldn’t be here. I had come to terms with the fact that I’d never be able to turn my back on him, no matter what, and we’d begun to write letters. I’d even sent him an invitation, and he’d sent his congratulations.

  Raphael walked Sofia and me to the church and signaled for the music. Once it began, he pushed the door open. Everyone stood, and I got my first look at Damon, my soon-to-be husband.


  I was wrong. He wasn’t as beautiful as Raphael.

  He was more so.

  And as he stood waiting, Sofia took her place at the front of the church and everyone turned to me. Raphael tucked my arm into his and smiled down at me.

  “I’m glad he chose you,” he said.

  “Me too.”

  I didn’t stop crying from the moment Damon took my hands, and all through the ceremony, from the lifting of my veil, to the exchanging of the rings, to the saying of our vows, until the priest pronounced us husband and wife, and we kissed. Damon held me so close, so close that I thought for the first time since I’d been with him that it was done. That we were one. That we’d be together forever, like this, two souls who were always meant to be together, who went through hell and back to get here. We would be together forever.

  “I love you, Lina,” he whispered in my ear.

  “I love you.”

  The End

  Thank you

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  Sample from Dishonorable

  If you haven’t read Dishonorable yet, it’s Damon’s twin brother, Raphael’s story. Here is a sample.

  Prologue 1

  Sofia

  July 2016

  I shuddered at the sweep of cold air that rushed me when the basilica doors opened. They carried a warning. An omen.

  My husband-to-be stood at the head of the aisle dressed in black from head to toe, opposite my bridal white.