Being Alpha

by Aileen Erin

  If you get this, call me. Doesn’t matter what time. Thanks.

  Then there was nothing, until last night. My heart started to race.

  Keep reading, Dastien said. I’m back at the house, but I can come back if you need me.

  Let’s just see what the next one says.

  I clicked on the next email.

  I’m throwing in the towel here. I hate it. But I’m doing it. I tried to be chill and go with what Mr. D said, but that’s bullshit. We need you home.

  I know I said in my last email that we were handling it, but we’re not. Keeney’s guys got here and that helped take the load off for a bit, but everyone’s exhausted now and it’s making us sloppy. Adrian was slow enough to let a freaking demon bite him!

  “Shit. I knew something was wrong,” I said to myself.

  I’m sorry, Dastien said through the bond. I should’ve listened to you, I—

  It’s not your fault, but we need to go home. I went back to reading the email.

  Doc says he’ll be fine in a day or two, but we haven’t had a night off since we got back from Meredith’s wedding. This is insane. It’s been two weeks since the first demon attack, and they’re getting worse. Last night’s group was no less than ten. It took everyone we had to get them taken care of, and I don’t know what’s coming tomorrow. If they keep increasing in numbers, we’re going to be in the shitter soon.

  I’ve been begging Michael to give me your number, but he keeps saying that if we reach the point where we need more help, he’ll make that call. But he never ordered me not to contact you, so I am. I know he’s my Alpha and I should trust him, but why am I the only one that sees that HE’S FUCKING WRONG! WE CAN’T TAKE ANOTHER NIGHT OF THIS SHIT. If we could handle the demons, then the attacks would be OVER and I wouldn’t be emailing again. There’s something bigger going on here and whatever it is, Mr. D seems to be ignoring it. And no one here is alpha enough to get through to him. You are.

  Get your fucking asses back here. TONIGHT.

  Check your goddamned email already!

  Call me as soon as you get this. Thanks.

  I wanted to scream and cry and punch myself. Why hadn’t I trusted my gut sooner?

  And holy shit. Could Luciana be back? That seemed impossible, but what the hell did I know? In the world of the supernatural, anything was possible.

  She’s not back. I don’t know what’s going on, but there’s another explanation.

  I hoped Dastien was right. And if there’s not another explanation?

  Then we’ll deal with her. I’m calling Michael, and then I’ll start getting our travel figured out. He tried to send me calm energy, but I didn’t want it. I wanted to get home. Now.

  Okay. Thanks. Find out why he didn’t call us when all of this started. It was total bullshit that I was only now hearing about the demon attacks. I’m calling Chris now. It took me three tries to get the call to connect and then it went straight to voicemail. If he’d been up fighting demons all night, he was probably asleep. I shot off a text apologizing and told him we were on our way as soon as possible.

  Shit. What had happened?

  For a while after the fight with Luciana, a bunch of baddies had come out of their hiding holes. Vampires. A few goblins. Some lower-level demons here and there, but nothing as bad as what we’d seen when Luciana opened her hell portal. A handful of pissed-off fey who’d stuck around when the courts disappeared. The worst of which Meredith dealt with in Ireland. A will-o’-the-wisp had even popped up at the Grand Canyon and started guiding unsuspecting people off a cliff. It’d been a little more than the Cazadores were used to, but definitely manageable. At least that was what everyone told us. Which was why we’d felt okay disconnecting.

  I threw my phone down on the towel and walked to the edge of the water. Everything had been fine, but two weeks ago, clearly something had changed. Chris was right. There had to be a reason for the sudden spike in demon attacks in Texas.

  What had changed? And why after Meredith’s wedding? Was that just a coincidence?

  There were no other messages about demons attacking the rest of the world. Why were the demons only in Texas? And maybe scariest of all—why were they only in our specific area of Texas?

  My imagination came up with a number of scenarios, but maybe Chris wasn’t so crazy. Maybe what Luciana had done wasn’t over. Maybe we were in for another fight.

  That thought sent a zing through my body, urging me to run and hide.

  But I wasn’t about to hide.

  Maybe some of the outbreaks could be well-timed flukes, but this was too much. I didn’t believe in coincidences. Everything happened for a reason. I didn’t know what was going on yet, but I’d find out.

  Left a message for Michael and I’m going to start working on travel now. Want to come back to the house and eat?

  I’m not hungry anymore. The swirling pit of anxiety in my stomach made it impossible to think of eating right now.

  Then why don’t you go for a swim? Clear your head. When you get back, I’ll have our travel figured out.

  Are you sure? Shouldn’t I be helping?

  We only have one reliable phone line, and I need the WiFi to book the airfare once I have the boat and ferry lined up. Go for a swim. If nothing else, it’ll kick your appetite back into gear.

  I took a breath. The water did look nice. I took a few steps back to the beach towel to grab my fins, mask, and snorkel. Tell me if you need my help. I’ll come back.

  Of course. Go. You’ll feel better after a swim.

  I walked into the clear water, watching tiny electric blue and green fish swimming around my ankles. The water was waist-deep but clear as crystal. My toes disappeared under the sand as I tried to balance while pulling on my fins. Part of me still felt guilty. Like I should’ve been helping Dastien and Chris and everyone else right now, but there was nothing I could do yet except worry. That wasn’t going to help anyone.

  The mask tugged on my hair, but I got the straps in place and dove in.

  The warm water was like a balm on my soul. Until we got to the island, I hadn’t been swimming since becoming a werewolf. The change had made me a stronger swimmer, but too much muscle wasn’t a good thing when it came to floating. I couldn’t lay in the water without sinking at least a little bit anymore.

  I used my legs, flicking the fins just enough to keep my head above the surface as I watched the colorful fish dart around the coral.

  After a few minutes of tuning out, I felt better. Anxiety wasn’t making it quite so hard to breathe anymore and I started to swim farther out. A mile or so away was a tiny island that we hadn’t explored yet. We’d talked about kayaking over, but if we were leaving tomorrow, then this was probably my last chance.

  We can come back, Dastien said.

  That’s a given. Now that I knew this place existed, I was addicted.

  I froze as a nurse shark swam under my feet. They were harmless, but they still made me nervous. I pulled my legs up, and it ignored me. As I floated there, waiting for the shark to pass, I wondered if I should go ahead and call Claudia. I didn’t want to bother her before I had to, especially since she was in Peru on her own version of a honeymoon, but I was pretty sure that my messed-up visions had something to do with the demons in Texas. Even if she didn’t have any answers for me, I was sure she’d appreciate knowing that there was some stuff brewing. As soon as I was done with my swim, I was going to try texting her.

  The water grew rougher the farther from shore I swam. I’d passed the drop off and couldn’t tell how far down the bottom was anymore, even with my enhanced werewolf sight. Maybe if I’d brought a light with me, but I was only snorkeling. I couldn’t swim down that far unless I had SCUBA gear, even as a werewolf.

  I looked around to make sure the current hadn’t knocked me off course. The island looked a little too far to the right. I spotted the strip of white sand beach that I’d come from behind me. The tree line nearly gobbled up the beach, forming a horseshoe. I�
��d made it all the way out of the inlet but had definitely drifted too far to the right.

  I corrected my direction and started kicking my feet. I’d gone another fifty feet when pain sliced through my knuckles, one by one in rapid succession.

  I screamed out bubbles as I sank under the water. Kicking hard, my head broke the surface. Air filled my lungs in one big gasp.

  For a split second, I thought the shark had come back, but my hands looked fine even though I couldn’t feel my fingers.

  What’s happening? Dastien asked. His worry beat against my mind. Are you okay?

  I don’t know. I shook my hands, trying to get rid of the pain, but it lingered. I kept kicking, keeping my head out of the water. I didn’t know what was happening, but I suddenly didn’t feel much like swimming anymore. Whatever had happened to my hands was freaking me out.

  Coming back, I said to him. I don’t know what the hell—

  My arms locked in place as pain slashed through my wrists. Through my elbows. My shoulders.

  I couldn’t move through the searing pain. I started to sink into the ocean.

  I kicked harder, my legs burning as I struggled to keep my head above water. Dastien! What’s happening?

  I’m coming! Swim back toward the beach.

  I tried to look around, but the pain left me gasping for air. I couldn’t focus enough to even see the beach. It was like someone had chopped off my arms, bit by bit. But they were there. Totally intact. I could see them under the water, but all I could feel was searing pain in my shoulders.

  Whatever I was feeling, it wasn’t real. It had to be witchcraft. A curse. Something.

  Think, Tessa. Think. I had to stop whatever this was. I needed a protection spell. Something to break—

  I screamed as the pain multiplied. This time it started with my toes.

  Then my knees.

  And then I couldn’t move my legs.

  No. No. No.

  I wiggled my body around, but it was no use. I sank like dead weight.

  Screams ripped from my throat until my lungs were burning.

  Which way was the surface? The light was getting farther away.

  Pressure started to build in my head and my ears felt like they were going to explode.

  Oh fuck.

  I held my breath, trying not to suck in water. I didn’t have any air left in my lungs.

  I needed to reach the surface or I was going to die before Dastien got here.

  My heartbeat thumped in my ears as I tried to swim with just my torso. With my arms and legs locked in place, I couldn’t work up any momentum.

  I was still sinking.

  I flailed around, tossing and turning as I fell. Dastien! I can’t see the surface! The water had gotten almost as dark as the night sky, rolling me until I’d lost all sense of direction. What do I do?

  Why couldn’t I find the surface? What magic was doing this to me?

  Just hold on! I’m coming! He hit the beach at a sprint. Diving into the water. Cutting through the waves with all the power he could.

  Magic. I needed to break the magic.

  Stop. Stop. Stop. I pushed all my will into the words, picturing whatever spell had me shattering.

  Suddenly I could move my arms. My legs still weren’t working, but I could use my arms.

  Hope blossomed. Thank God.

  I waved my arms through the water like I was digging to the surface. I wasn’t sure if I was heading the right way, but I had to keep moving. I had to keep fighting.

  The more I moved, the more confused I got. My head was getting fuzzy, making it hard to think. Which way is up?

  Had to keep swimming. Grasping for the surface.

  I swam wildly as my panic grew.

  I needed to breathe.

  I needed air.

  I slapped a hand over my mouth. I was going to breathe in.

  My body was burning for me to breathe. I was fighting it, but I couldn’t. Not for long. No! I had to find the surface.

  Dastien! I can’t! I reached along our bond, grabbing for his strength to give me a boost. I felt it flow into me, but without direction, it wasn’t a help. He could feed me power, but not oxygen.

  Dastien was coming. He’d reach me soon, but not soon enough.

  He was going to be too late. He was saying something, but I couldn’t hear him. My mind was getting fuzzy.

  The last few months flashed through my mind. The cave of vampires.

  When I killed Mr. Hoel.

  Luciana stealing my powers.

  When I killed her.

  Closing the portal.

  I hadn’t fought this hard to give up now, but I couldn’t hold my breath any longer.

  I’m sorry. My body took in a lung-full of water and I choked. Unable to swim, I sank farther and farther into the darkness.

  Dastien yelled something I couldn’t understand.

  My heartbeat seemed to slow.

  Thump-thump.

  Thump-thump.

  Thump-thump.

  Thump—

  Two

  “Breathe!” Dastien screamed, but his voice sounded a million miles away.

  The world shook, but I didn’t know where I was or what was happening.

  Something hit my chest over and over. Each slam rocked me.

  I wanted the pain to stop. I needed to breathe. But I couldn’t.

  Why couldn’t I breathe?

  There was cursing in French. It sounded louder than his words before.

  It felt like bricks were thrown into my chest. I tried to yell for it to stop, but then I was coughing.

  The world tilted and spun.

  Water gushed out of my mouth.

  “That’s it. That’s it. Get it out.” Dastien’s voice shook as he rubbed a hand up and down my back.

  My whole body heaved until nothing else could possibly be left in me.

  When I was done, I collapsed back into the sand exhausted as if I’d run back to back marathons. Every muscle ached and throbbed. My throat was on fire, and I wasn’t sure how I was still alive.

  “Hang on.” Dastien disappeared for a fraction of a second and then helped me sit up. “Just a sip,” he said as he tipped a water bottle to my lips.

  One sip was enough. I’d had enough water for the next year. My heart was pounding, and I couldn’t believe what had just happened. “Did I drown?”

  “Yes, but you’re a werewolf. You’re hard to kill.”

  Thank God for that.

  I grabbed the water bottle. My hands were shaking so much that more water splashed on me than got in my mouth. The pain had left my limbs, but the terror lingered. The waves still lapped at my toes, and I wanted to move back but couldn’t.

  I wasn’t sure if I should be crying right now, but I felt disconnected. Like I was floating above my body.

  “You’re in shock.”

  I licked my lips. “I don’t understand…” My hands still shook as I drank from the water bottle again, this time taking little sips. The fact that I’d almost died was so crazy and felt surreal. “What happened?” I asked Dastien, who was kneeling beside me. And then I realized something scarier.

  I grabbed his wrist, needing a connection to him. “Why can’t I hear you in my head? Why can’t I feel—” For a heartbeat, I could feel his paralyzing fear so strong it was as if I was drowning all over again. I couldn’t breathe as his confusion swamped me. His anger raged through my veins. And guilt. Guilt so strong I—

  He tightened the bond, and all his emotions dulled just enough to make it bearable. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He paused his forehead to mine, and I knew he needed the touch just as much as I did. “I don’t know what happened. All I could tell was that you were in pain and disoriented. If you never go swimming again—”

  “It wasn’t the swimming—”

  “Being a wolf and sw—”

  “It was different.” I drew up my knees, creating space between us.

  Swimming might be harder as a Were, but I was
fine out there. Whatever had happened to me, it was a magical attack. I knew that much. “We’ve been here for nearly two weeks. Have I had any problems in the water?”

  He was quiet because we both knew the answer.

  I laid back on the sand, throwing an arm over my eyes to block the sun. My senses were on overload and I felt raw and empty. What had happened?

  “I was trying to get to the island. I was fine. But then there was so much pain… My arms felt like they were being sliced apart and they locked. I couldn’t make them move. Then the same thing happened with my legs, and my buoyancy is all shit now, so I started to sink. When I could move again, I was so deep…I couldn’t make my way up.”

  Where had those pains come from? Why did I lose control of my limbs? I had to focus on anything but the fact that I’d died. Not almost died. For a second there, I was gone.

  Goosebumps ran up my body and I met Dastien’s glowing amber gaze as he leaned over me. “What happened?” I asked him again.

  “I don’t know.” His wolf was close to the surface, itching to get free. “I took too long to get to you. I’m so sorry. I was distracted. Around the time you started freaking out, one of the Seven died and—”

  “Wait. What? Who died?” I grabbed Dastien’s arm. My heart raced, and I prayed that Mr. Dawson was okay.

  “Other than knowing that it’s not Michael? I don’t know.”

  I quietly thanked God for that. When Dastien’s parents died, Mr. Dawson had taken Dastien in. Raised him like his own son. Losing Mr. Dawson would destroy my mate.

  “I know. For a second, I thought it was Michael and I…” He rubbed his forehead as grief and fear warred inside him. “I should’ve been faster. I’m—”

  “Stop. I’m fine.” But the fact that I felt pain right as one of the Seven died was really, seriously, weird. “If it wasn’t Michael, who died?”

  “My guess is Muraco. He was fading, but I know what you’re thinking and I don’t know why you felt what you did. He would’ve died peacefully. So, it must’ve been a poorly timed coincidence. But we both feel the same about those.”