Being Alpha

by Aileen Erin

  In the quiet dark, I reached for my bond to Dastien. This wasn’t one of my normal visions, but it was still my mind. And if I could use some of Dastien’s power, then maybe I’d have enough juice to get control and kick this motherfucker out of my head.

  I started pulling power though the paper-thin bond and—

  “You’re mine,” it said right by my ear. Its magic plopped onto my shoulder and wormed its way down my back like tiny maggots.

  I twitched, trying to shake the little magical worms off of me.

  When I blinked, the scene changed again. I stood in front of the hostess stand in a diner.

  What the hell was this? A diner? I understood the metal institution reference, but a diner seemed lame in comparison.

  “Table for one?” A girl, not much younger than me, in poorly fitting khaki pants and a polo shirt stood holding a menu.

  I glanced over my shoulder just to be sure, but no one was behind me. Only a dusty claw crane machine was there. “Me?” I asked, pointing to myself.

  “Yes.” She scrunched up her face as if she’d sucked on a lemon. “You’re the only one standing here.”

  The diner wasn’t packed, but there were a few people scattered around. A family with two kids sat at one table. Two elderly men played chess while sipping their coffees at another. There was a salad bar in the back, and a few people were picking through the food. One guy used his fingers to grab a shrimp. He dipped it in a red sauce and made an approving sound before dropping the tail on the floor and reaching for another.

  I barely contained a gag.

  “You need a table for one or is someone meeting you?” The hostess asked, bringing my focus back to her.

  I thought about saying just one. I’d rather get one million shots than meet whoever was messing with me. But there was no point in putting it off. “Two, please.”

  “Do you want to wait for them here or be seated at the table?”

  I shook my head. “No.” I was done with waiting. “I’ll sit.”

  The hostess led me to a booth and waved me in. The green vinyl was ripped and covered in spots with duct tape. I put my hand down as I scooted in and touched something sticky. I grabbed a bunch of napkins from the chrome dispenser on the table and tried to wipe my hands off to no avail.

  “Server will be with you in a bit.”

  “Cool,” I said without looking up. It was rude of me, but she wasn’t real. None of this was real.

  It didn’t make sense. Why a diner? What was the jerk trying to accomplish?

  I grabbed for Dastien again, but nothing came. No thoughts. No feelings. And no power.

  Damn it.

  I tried to shake off my frustration. This thing wanted to play games, and for now there was nothing to do but go along with them. At least until I could reach Dastien.

  I grabbed the menu from the table and scanned the contents. Pizza with shrimp and cream sauce. Hotdog hash with chopped beets. What kind of menu was this? Everything seemed to have either shrimp, beets, chicharones or a combination of all three.

  I closed the menu with a sigh. Of course. Everything I hated. “Nice touch, douchebag.”

  I closed my eyes, trying to focus on my bond to Dastien. Even just a little extra power might be enough to get me out of this mess.

  Tingles ran up my spine, raising goosebumps in their wake, but they weren’t from Dastien.

  Someone was staring at me.

  I twisted in the booth. The family was leaving. The little girl was yammering on and on about some toy that she wanted, and the parents were ignoring her as they each grabbed a mint from the bowl on the hostess’ stand. The little boy—maybe about four years old—stood quietly behind them. He was wearing a blue, puffy ski jacket with the hood pulled up over his head. He was the one staring.

  I thought it was odd that he was wearing a jacket, but it was winter, even if it didn’t feel like it was almost winter in the Caribbean.

  What the hell was I even thinking about? This place was fake. Not real. Neither was the family. Who cared what kind of jacket the kid was wearing?

  I turned back to the menu. Was I supposed to order something? I hadn’t seen any waitstaff, so I was assuming not, but who the hell knew? What was the point of this? Was this some insane, stalker witch who wanted a date? I understood what it was trying to do with the mental hospital, but I was having trouble figuring out what the diner had to do with anything.

  But maybe that was the point. Maybe it was just supposed to frustrate me. I looked at the menu again. And gross me out.

  I closed my eyes and tried to reach for Dastien again. Dastien. Dastien. Dastien. I put my magic behind his name as I reached along our bond, but he was too far away.

  I growled as I picked up the napkin dispenser and hurled it across the stupid fucking diner.

  My breath heaved in and out of me, but no one had even flinched at the sound of the dispenser crashing through the window.

  Shit. This was so dumb. “Come on. Show your face.”

  “Y’all have a nice day,” the hostess told the family behind me.

  The dad murmured something, and the door chimed as it opened and closed.

  The family was gone, but I still felt like someone was staring at me. I glanced a little to the side, but the hostess was wiping down menus. So, it wasn’t her.

  To the right of me, a clock hung on the wall. I watched the seconds tick by. My knee bounced under the table as I glanced out the windows. In the distance, I could see a city. I knew it wasn’t actually there, but I couldn’t just keep sitting here waiting for whoever—whatever—this was to show up.

  Nope.

  I started to get up, but froze.

  The tingling was back. Stronger this time. An evil twinge of magic was stronger, making my skin crawl.

  I didn’t want to look. I didn’t want to turn around. It was here.

  But I had to look. I geared myself up for it.

  Three.

  Two.

  One.

  I spun, but no one was behind me except the little boy. He didn’t look too concerned that his family had left. He just stood there and stared at me. The mom, dad, and little girl were walking through the parking lot outside.

  I glanced back to the menu to buy myself some time. Something wasn’t right with this boy. My gut was screaming demon. It lined up with the greasy magic and ability to sneakily take over my mind and the creepy child. This wasn’t the first time I’d seen a demon take the shape of a kid, but seeing something so evil shoved into an innocent body was more than unsettling.

  Was that it? The demon wanted to creep me out? Was this whole diner thing just for that?

  I turned around, and for the first time, really looked at the boy.

  There was nothing out of the ordinary about him. His shoes were dirty and one lace untied. His jacket had a few stains but looked warm enough.

  Why was I thinking about his jacket when I should’ve been meeting his gaze? Confronting him? But no matter how I tried to look at his face, I couldn’t seem to meet his eyes.

  I stopped breathing as my thought processed.

  This was a problem. An Alpha werewolf could meet any gaze. Unless this thing was more—

  I swallowed down the lump in my throat.

  The demon was more dominant—more powerful—than me.

  My heart hammered in my chest. Other Weres had talked about not being able to meet Mr. Dawson’s or Donovan’s gazes, but I’d never experienced that. Not until now.

  What was I going to do?

  I could try to fight it, but if I couldn’t even meet its gaze, I was screwed. And I was alone.

  I rested my forehead on the damp, sticky table. Think, Tessa. Think.

  A wave of reassurance came through the bond, and I sat back up. It was faint, but it was there.

  I wasn’t alone. I had help.

  I didn’t know what he’d done to get through to me and I didn’t care. I grabbed Dastien’s power, pulling as much as I could and hoping I
didn’t damage the barely-there rope.

  A surge of Dastien’s power hit me, like I’d just downed a million Diet Cokes, and with it came a buttload of confidence.

  I twisted in my seat, finally able to meet the little boy’s gaze.

  His eyes were a normal brown—not red like other demons—but they were vacant. As sick as it was to think about since he—it—was in the shape of a little boy, looking into its eyes was almost like staring at the glass eyes of a taxidermied animal. They glinted a little too much in the light and were devoid of any emotion.

  Then it grinned and a chill went down my spine.

  Its mouth opened, lips thinning until they were just lines. The mouth was too big and too wide for its face. More like a jack-o’-lantern than anything human. As it smiled, the black hole of its mouth grew bigger as if it was going to suck me in.

  Its laugh boomed in the small diner. Power pressed against my skin, making it feel like I’d been rolled in a layer of its black slime.

  I started to slide out of the booth, but I hadn’t consciously moved.

  I gripped the table, and my fingers squeaked as they slipped down the linoleum.

  No. No. No. This was bad. This was really bad. It was drawing me toward it. The demon was done messing with me, and I had zero illusions that I could fight it and win.

  My gut screamed that I couldn’t let it reach me. If I touched the demon, then it would have me. Forever. There was no coming back from that black pit. I knew what was on the other side. I’d seen it that day in the chapel in Santa Fe.

  Inside the pit a giant demon clawed its way to the top. It looked like it was made of molten lava, scarring the rock with fire as it climbed. It spotted me and roared, moving faster.

  “You’re mine.” The words sent terror through my soul. The same words he’d said in Santa Fe.

  “No! Never!”

  It was like gravity changed. I was sucked out of the booth, falling horizontally toward the boy—the demon.

  My fingers were slowly slipping down the table, no matter how hard I tried to hold on. I needed a better grip.

  In a split-second, my wolf rose to the surface, my fingers stretched and nails lengthened, turning into claws. I punched them through the table. It shook and cracks formed around my hands, spreading toward the edges.

  This wouldn’t last. The table would break in half before long, and I’d be sucked toward the demon.

  I needed a way out.

  I hung parallel to the floor. The demon was still in the same spot, waiting for me. He was enjoying my panic. I was sure it could smell the sickly-sweet stench of it as well as I could.

  He was waiting for me. He didn’t need to move. I was trapped.

  As I hung there, floating in the air, trying not to be sucked into his evil vortex, I looked back. I stared him in the eyes. And I knew. All I had to do was look at him and I knew.

  I’d felt his evil magic before.

  It was his power that had allowed Luciana to strip me of my magic and shove it into two jars.

  As the realization hit me, he laughed.

  That’s why. That’s why I was here in this stupid place. In this diner. Waiting. Because he wanted me to know who he was. He wanted me to feel how strong he was. How he could own me again, because he’d never let me go. Not since that day in Luciana’s craft room.

  There was only one thing left I could do.

  I pulled more power from Dastien. As he gave me more power, I started to feel the magic that was holding me hostage.

  My physical body wasn’t here. That was true. But I was trapped. And this place didn’t exist in my own head.

  The dark abyss that I’d been walking in was more than just an abyss. It was something far worse. And as I realized where my mind had gone—where the demon had taken my soul—my chest wound so tight, my heart raced, my palms sweated, and I knew that if I didn’t get out of here soon, I was going to be worse than dead.

  I was going to be a demon’s slave in Hell.

  “Let me go. Let me go. Let me go!” My magic and power mixed as I threw my will and everything Dastien had sent to me at the demon.

  His laugh came again.

  I didn’t look back. I knew what I was up against and I needed more power than Dastien could give. That he and I together weren’t enough to beat the demon scared the shit out of me. But the thing about being a werewolf was that you always had the pack.

  I pushed away any doubt. I closed my eyes, shutting out the sound of his laughter and air rushing past my ears as he tried to suck me deeper into Hell.

  All I needed to do was hold on while I found the pack.

  I reached out mentally, but couldn’t find them.

  I tried not to panic, and reached out again.

  Nothing.

  They were there. I just had to try harder.

  I let my wolf rise a little more. Pack, please! I finally felt them like little tendrils against my inner wolf. The spiderweb of power that tied every Were to each other. There were weaker links between the packs—tied from alpha to alpha. From one bond, I could reach every single werewolf alive if I needed them.

  For now, I used the St. Ailbe’s ties. I’d thought my bond with Dastien had been thinned, but the ones to my pack were impossibly thinner. But as I called, power came through. It was just a little trickle at first, and then a huge rush hit me. My arms grew fur, and I was barely able to hold onto my shape. I let the power build for a second longer before screaming. “Let me go!” My voice was thick with my rising wolf. “Now!” I backed the word with all the power from the pack.

  “No.” The single word sent a chill down my spine. “You’re mine.”

  “No! No one owns me!”

  He just laughed and the air grew too thick to breathe.

  No. He had to be wrong. He had to be. I swallowed down the panic that was choking me.

  He started to grow taller, morphing until his head touched the ceiling. “You can fight me or you can give in, but you’re mine either way. You’re the key. I tasted your magic in that circle and I knew you were the one I’d been waiting for. There’s no breaking free of me now.”

  “The key?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know, but I had to ask.

  “The seal is gone. The portals are locked, but your magic is the key. You’re already tied to me. It’s over. Just let go.”

  Fuck that. I didn’t know what seal he was talking about or what portals he meant, but I wasn’t tied to him. And if I was, I was breaking it as soon as I got out of here.

  But one thing was certain. I was never giving up. Not while I was still alive.

  I started saying the Hail, Mary, but his magic only grew stronger, skittering over my skin like a swarm of cockroaches.

  Shit.

  The demon didn’t seem to be weakening, but my arms ached and the tie to Dastien was on fire. It was too much power for the little thread. I was going to burn it to ashes if I pulled much harder.

  The pack bonds weren’t doing much better. They were glowing, but I could feel them weakening. It was only a matter of time and I wasn’t getting any closer to breaking free from the demon’s hold.

  Which meant I was losing and I was out of ideas. I was out of time. The splinters in the table dug into my fingertips and it moaned. The whole thing was about to shatter. There was going to be nothing left to hold on to.

  I gathered all the power the pack had sent me. It was time to use it. The demon might’ve been strong, but he’d made one mistake. He’d told me that there was a tie between us, and if there was a tie, then all I had to do was break it.

  “Find the tie. Break it. Kill it dead. Find the tie. Break it. Kill it dead. Find the tie…” I said it over and over until I was hoarse and out of breath. The pack’s powers were waning and I hadn’t found it.

  Why hadn’t I found it?

  “Because it’s a part of you. You’ll never be rid of our tie, Teresa.” He drew out my name, spending to much time on the s. I never knew the sound of my own name could terr
ify me so much, but as he spoke I realized a few things.

  He was right.

  This was hopeless.

  And by using the pack’s power, I was going to drag them down with me.

  A sob finally broke free. I’d fought so hard for so long and I’d been happy. It’d been an insane few months, but with Dastien, I’d found true happiness. Never in a million years would I have thought that I’d find happiness and a home in a school for werewolves, but I had. I’d found friends. Power. And love. So much love. I thought I could hold on to that forever. But I couldn’t.

  My heart felt like it’d been turned to stone and then pulverized until all that was left were tiny grains of sand slipping out of me.

  I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to die. I wanted a lifetime with Dastien. That house on our land. Travel and adventure and dancing and laughing and everything else that came our way.

  Please, God. If you can hear me, help. I said a prayer, but there was no answer.

  Only the demon’s taunting laugh.

  I started to let go, giving the pack back what was theirs, but a wave of reassurance crashed through the bond. Not just the bond to Dastien, but to the pack. More power surged through.

  Stop! I yelled through the lines of the pack bonds. I wasn’t sure if they’d hear me, but I had to try. I can’t beat him. I don’t want to drain you, too. I rested my head on the table. I love you, I sent through my bond to Dastien. I started to relax my grip.

  No!

  I raised my head. Dastien? I clamped down on the table. The splinters cut into my hands, but I wasn’t letting go. Not now.

  Claudia is working on something to help.

  A seed of hope sprouted. If Claudia was helping, then I had a shot. I grabbed what the pack was offering. The power grew, and I realized it was more than just my pack now.

  The table groaned. It was going to shatter any second. Tell her to hurry! I can’t hold on much longer!

  Then it was like there was too much of everything. Too much air. Too much pressure. Hot liquid dripped down my face. The copper scent of blood filled the air, with undertones of pine and something so familiar I—

  Dastien’s blood.

  On the count of three, let go of the table. Crash into the demon. Dastien’s voice echoed in my head. I didn’t know how he knew what was happening here, but I wasn’t going to think about it too hard.