Being Alpha

by Aileen Erin

  We all stopped to look at Chris. “Why do you have Cosette’s roommate’s number?”

  He shrugged as he typed on his phone. “I just do.”

  Okay. Now I was curious. He was totally holding out on me. “How close are you and Cosette?”

  He threw his cell on the table and ran a hand through his already frizzed out hair. “We’re just friends and it can’t ever go beyond that. So, drop it. Please.”

  “Why not? I—”

  “Because she’s the fucking princess of the goddamned Lunar court, and I’m not nearly alpha enough. I’d become a slave if I ever stepped foot in there.” The natural rasp in his voice was turning into a growl.

  My mouth dropped open. No. That couldn’t be true. If that’s all that was standing in their way, then there had to be something we could do. Some kind of magic or amulet or fucking fey artifact that could protect him.

  “Don’t. I know what you’re thinking, but just don’t.” His chair clattered to the ground as he stormed out the back door.

  “Chris!” I yelled as I followed. I was only a step behind him onto the back porch, but he kept moving. “Chris.”

  He moved faster, heading for the woods that surrounded the house.

  “Wait!” I backed it with a tiny touch of power. He could keep walking if he wanted to, but I didn’t want him to run off upset. Not with how everything was going.

  His eyes were burning bright blue as he spun to me. “I can’t talk about this. I need to go, but I’ll be back. Just give me an hour.”

  “You don’t have to talk about anything and you can absolutely leave. I only want to say I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. It’s absolutely none of my business. But I don’t want you to leave mad. Tonight is going to get crazy, fast. And I didn’t want to miss my chance to apologize. If there’s anything that I can do to help, I want you to know that I’m here for you. But I won’t bring it up again. Promise.”

  “It’s fine.”

  “It’s not fine. You’re upset, and I’m a total asshole for upsetting you. You’ve done nothing but be there for me since we first met. I owe you the same respect.”

  He closed the distance, giving me a hug. “You just hit a sensitive spot, but you’re my friend. It happens.”

  “Is there anything I can do?”

  “No. It’s hopeless. We both know that there’s nothing that can happen between us, but trying to convince my wolf that it’s not happening is another matter.” He took a breath. “I am who I am. You heard what Blaze said. You’re born with whatever power you have, and I don’t measure up.”

  “But if—”

  “I just need a second to calm down.” He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the ground. “Being a part of this is a better distraction than I could’ve ever hoped for. I never wanted to be a Cazador. Never settling down. Never having a home. That life wasn’t for me. But my home pack is small, and being back there last month wasn’t good for me. Too much has happened and I don’t fit there anymore. I’ve been a little lost until last night. Until you picked me. I’m going to work hard to make sure I’m worthy of my spot.”

  Worthy? That was a load of crap. “Shut up. You’re worthy. Maybe the Alphas in that room couldn’t see it, but I did. Meredith did, too. You’re an amazing person, and everyone who gets to call you their friend is lucky. I love your lighthearted teasing. You’re kind and always there with a smile and a laugh, even when I don’t think I can laugh. And especially when I need one. I hate seeing you upset.”

  He gave me a grin, but it wasn’t his normal smile. “It happens. Don’t worry about it.”

  “I am worrying about it. Is Cosette being a part of this new council thing going to be bad for you?” I hated asking, but I had to.

  “I don’t know. Cosette… I can’t be what she needs in a mate, but I’ll always be her friend. I can’t—I can’t…” He blew out a hard breath and his eyes grew glassy. “I don’t know how to say it, but my wolf made his choice, so she’s it for me. I can’t be her mate, but I can be her forever friend. So, it’s complicated, but it’d be that way even if she wasn’t part of this.”

  Hearing that his wolf had chosen his mate, but that it wasn’t going to work out made my own heart ache like someone was pulling it apart. “That can’t be it.” This was so wrong. He deserved so much better than a lonely life.

  “But it is.” He stared at the ground as he toed off his shoes. “I’m disappointed that I’m not powerful enough to survive a day at court with her.” His voice had grown gruff with his wolf edging closer. “But life is full of disappointments. When you get smacked in the face with one, you have to pick yourself up. So, that’s what I’m doing. I have to let her go, and hope she finds someone worthy. But I can’t leave her. Not entirely. I just hope that it gets easier, because right now, I just want to be a wolf all the time.” He went to unbutton his jeans and I spun around.

  “Chris…” His furry head bumped my hand, and I squatted down, gripping his hair. Chris’ wolf was a light blonde color. “Take your run,” I said as I stared into his blue eyes. “But know that I’m here for you. Whatever you need.” He rubbed his face against mine and then took off into the woods behind my parents’ house.

  Come on back, chérie.

  I am, I said, but I stayed where I was, feet firmly planted as I listened to the soft sounds of wolf-Chris running farther into the woods. I wish there was a way to help him. You think it’s true? About him not having enough power to be with Cosette?

  Probably.

  That breaks my heart. I rubbed my chest. I hurt for him. Do you think we could give him some power?

  Chérie… Messing with that stuff? That’s what Luciana did and how we all got into this mess.

  I kicked the dirt. It’s not fair.

  I know, but our job is to be there for him. And we are. There will be someone for him.

  There has to be.

  There will be. He was quiet for a second. Come back. We’re having trouble getting any of the covens to take our calls.

  That’s just perfect.

  Exactly.

  I started making my way back to the house, but I made a promise to myself. Once I was done saving the world for a second time, I was going to find a way to help Chris. He might be giving up, but I wasn’t.

  The more shit happened, the more I realized that nothing in life was easy. It’d taken Dastien turning me and a bit of drama before we’d found our stride. If Cosette was his mate, then there’d be a solution. He just didn’t know it yet.

  Twenty

  Shane was on the phone when I got inside. “I understand.”

  “I mean really, Shane. What the hell do you expect?” The woman on the other line was whisper-yelling through the line.

  “I know, but it wasn’t us. Luciana—”

  “Is dead. And now what? Shit’s still going down and you’re coming to me for help. No way. What’s left of your coven is dead to us. I shouldn’t have even answered the phone. If anyone knew I was talking to you, they’d kick me out.”

  “Come on, Ramona. You can’t hold us responsible for Luciana’s actions.” He was quiet. “Ramona?” He glanced at the screen. “She hung up on me.”

  I sat back in my chair. “I take it finding another witch is going well?”

  “Super well,” Shane said.

  “Okay. So, maybe the Colorado coven?”

  Claudia shook her head. “Cosette’s roommate didn’t answer. And Chris is the only one that’s had any luck getting in touch with Cosette. Maybe if he came back…”

  “No.” There was no way I was asking Chris to get ahold of Cosette again. Not after what I knew. “I could try messaging her, but honestly, she’s made it clear that it was going to be a stretch to get herself and three other fey here before tonight. Asking for her to bring a witch, too? That feels like asking a lot.” I turned to River. “Anyone else from your coven willing to come?”

  He shook his head. “Nah. The closest my coven likes to get to a fight is finding
power crystals and turning them into jewelry. I’m kind of the black sheep. The rest of them think I’m abusing my crystals when I use them offensively.”

  Well that was a dead end. “Anyone else? Blaze? You’ve been around for a long time. You’re bound to have come across some witches.”

  “Absolutely, but the ones I’ve reached out to are of the mind that the Seven caused this, and it’s now our job to fix it.”

  That was fantastic. When this was over, I was going to have a serious talk with the witches.

  Which witches are you talking about? Dastien asked.

  All of them. Because they seriously needed to get their shit together. “Lucas? Don’t you have some witches in your coven?”

  “Even if some of them were willing, I don’t think any could get here in time. Unless we can wait until tomorrow for the spell?”

  Even him suggesting we wait made me anxious. “No. It’s gotta be tonight.” I got up and started pacing. I didn’t know enough witches to be of any help, but I had to come up with something. “Raphael? I hate to ask you to, but what do you think?”

  He leaned back in his chair. “Technically I could do it, but I’m still tied to Astaroth.”

  “So am I.”

  “But you’re stronger than me and have to be in it. I bring literally nothing to the table. I barely have magic, and right now, it’s tainted. I already got one person killed trying to fix it. I’m not doing that again.”

  “Okay.” A thought crossed my mind and I looked at Shane. “There’s someone else we’re not talking about.”

  Shane sat taller in his chair as he looked at me. He knew exactly who I was talking about. “No. We can’t. She’s so broken.”

  Maybe she was doing better. “But you know where she is?”

  “No.” He shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “I was calling her, but she never answered. So, I was giving her some time. I’ve been planning on reaching out to her, but…”

  “When was the last time you talked to her?”

  “When we were at St. Ailbe’s. Right before we left for New Mexico.”

  That was a long time ago. I hadn’t even thought about checking in on her either. Honestly, I didn’t know her well enough. I figured she’d gone to stay with friends or something. But now I was wondering what the hell happened to her.

  “I can call her, but—” Shane crossed his arms as he stared me down. Shane was pissed at me for even bringing her up. “We cannot ask her to do this.”

  “I’m not a monster. I’m not going to make her do the spell, but she’s a witch and she’s from your coven. So, we won’t have all the issues that we’ve had with all the other covens questioning our motivations.”

  “That’s true, but—”

  “She’s strong.” Claudia cut in. “Her whole family died, but she’s strong. That’s how she walked away from Luciana when everyone else stayed. She comes from generations of witches on both sides. She might be taking a break from magic, but magic is a part of her. If we can find her, she might agree. If she’s anything like me, she’ll want her powers used for something good, and this is good.”

  Mr. Dawson stepped back into the room. “Wait. You’re talking about Beth?” He’d been busy on his phone most of the morning, but put the cell down as he sat at the table again.

  I looked around the room. The wolves were starting to catch on, but I didn’t realize we’d never said her name. “Yes. I think Beth is a great option, but apparently Shane disagrees.”

  “She’s broken! Leave the girl alone!”

  “Who is Beth?” Blaze asked Lucas quietly, as if he didn’t want to interrupt, but I heard him well enough. Answering the question might give Shane a chance to calm the fuck down.

  “She was the only other member of la Aquelarre—besides myself, Raphael, and Shane—to live,” Claudia said before I could answer. “Beth was with me and Raphael and Shane in Costa Rica. By making the oath to me, they broke their bond to Luciana just in time… But Beth’s family—her sister who raised her, her brother-in-law, niece and nephew—were all living on the compound. They were murdered along with everyone else.” Claudia’s eyes grew glassy, and Lucas grabbed her hand. “She stayed in Texas when we went to New Mexico. Her grief from losing her family…it was all-consuming. And when we got back, she was gone. I tried scrying for her, but she had her protections up. I assumed she wanted some time alone and would reach out when she was ready.”

  I sighed. “So no one knows where she is or what happened to her when we left for Santa Fe.”

  “That’s not entirely accurate,” Mr. Dawson said. “I know where she is.”

  “You do?” Claudia asked slowly, as if she was misunderstanding something.

  “Of course.” He leaned forward, meeting the gaze of the witches. “She wasn’t safe to be left alone, so I got her counseling. Beth lost her whole support system, and it was hard, but she’s a fighter. She’s doing a lot better than she was.”

  “Where is she?” Shane’s tone was almost accusatory. But it wasn’t like Mr. Dawson had been hiding her away. At least I didn’t think he would do something like that.

  “She spent a couple weeks at a very nice in-patient facility. After that, I asked her what she wanted to do. If she wanted to travel or if there was a friend that she wanted to stay with, but she didn’t have anywhere in mind. She wanted a break, but she needed a friend her age that understood the supernatural world. Beth’s gifts are interesting and a little uncontrolled when she’s upset. So, I set her up with a half-sprite in Austin, which helps her out a bit.”

  Claudia laughed. “I’m sure.”

  I was missing something, but that wasn’t unusual. I’d look up what a sprite was later.

  Mr. Dawson smiled. “I was glad Nell agreed. The sprite’s apartment isn’t great, but I thought that was better than Beth being alone, and I got her enrolled in some classes mid-term. Just basics in case she decides that college is for her.”

  “She’s really okay?” Shane said.

  Mr. Dawson leaned back in his chair. “When I said that we’d take care of what was left of your coven after we burned down your homes, I wasn’t lying. I’m the Alpha. It’s part of my job. That’s why I’ve called you every week, Shane.”

  Shane stared at the table before shrugging it off. “I thought you were just being nice.”

  “It’s not about being nice. Any person that’s negatively impacted by the Weres, we take care of,” Blaze said. “That’s how the packs work.”

  Mr. Dawson nodded. “Exactly. And that’s what I’ve done. I made sure that Beth has everything she needs to live a good, healthy life, and I’m going to continue to do so until she’s fully back on her feet. Right now that means an apartment in Austin, close to campus. She’s got a roommate that can help her, friends, and I heard she’s gone on a couple of dates.” He took a breath. “She wanted a normal, non-magical life, and I told her I’d do anything I could to help with that. I’ll do the same for you, even though you’ve refused it so far, for Raphael, who has done the same, and for Claudia, but I doubt Lucas would let me.”

  Lucas scooted closer to his mate. “I’ve got her.”

  “Do you think Beth would do the spell?” I asked Mr. Dawson. He was the one who knew her best now.

  “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “So far she’s wanted to distance herself from magic. I don’t know if that means forever or just for right now. Only she can answer that question for you.”

  “Well, then. Let’s ask her.” We didn’t have a ton of options, and even though I didn’t really know Beth very well, I remembered her being nice.

  Mr. Dawson pulled out his phone and put it on speaker as it rang.

  “Hi, Michael. You’re calling early?” Beth answered, and she actually sounded happy to hear from him.

  “Actually, it’s not just me, and we’re calling to ask a really big favor.”

  There was some rustling. “Okay. I’m sitting down. What’s wrong?”

  “Hey, girly,” Shane s
aid.

  She let out a breath. “Hey, Shane. How are you?”

  “I’m good. How are you?”

  “Getting there.”

  “We need your help,” Claudia said.

  “I don’t know that I have anything left to give, Claudia.”

  “Hey. Tessa here,” I said. She was familiar withe her coven members voices, but I wasn’t sure she’d know who I was. “Just hear us out before you say no. I honestly wouldn’t have called you if it weren’t life or death.”

  “Okay. I’m listening.”

  Claudia did all the talking. She knew Beth better than I did, and I was fine to take a back seat. Today had been nothing but drama and rehashing the same details for each new person we’d roped into this mess. Honestly, I was exhausted, but there were mountains to climb before the day was out and this was just the first of many.

  Dastien rubbed my shoulders, easing away some of the tension. We’ll get through it.

  I hoped he was right.

  When Claudia was done, Beth was quiet. I looked around the room. Everyone was leaning forward, waiting to hear what she’d say.

  “I thought this was behind us,” she said finally. “But it’s not. Is it?”

  “No,” Claudia said. “And I think it’s safe to say that I’m feeling about the same as you about that.”

  She laughed, but it came out almost like a half-sob. The line was a little too quiet after that, and I kept checking to see if the call had failed. But she was taking a second and that was okay.

  She was going to say yes. I just knew it. And not because she was power hungry or because she wanted revenge or because she missed magic. The longer she stayed quiet, the more right she felt.

  The only reason this was going to work—and end up better than the Seven—was because we were all doing it for the right reasons. Because we had to. There was no other option.

  With the exception of Blaze, I was reasonably sure that none of us would’ve signed up for a job like this. Cosette was forever trying to get away from her court. Chris liked to blend in, too. Claudia was a little timid, but with Lucas, was finding her voice. But even then, she didn’t want her own coven.