The Green Beans, Volume 4: Shipwrecked on Smuttynose Island

by Gabriel Gadget

The water continued to bubble and swirl, like the bizarre contents of some gigantic witch’s cauldron. What could it be, the Beans wondered? What was down there, beneath the surface, that had the ability to cause such a tremendous commotion? What lay below, stirring the inky depths and preparing to emerge?

  Neil and Jack had felt sure that it must be Pan Gu, for only a creature of colossal size could create such a disturbance within the water. Furthermore, they remembered that during the storm, they had seen the emerald dragon retreat to this very cove.

  But the keeper had seemed genuinely confused when they had suggested such a thing. So if it wasn’t Pan Gu down there... what was it?

  Though it would have been logical for Neil and Jack to back away from the water, thereby putting more distance between themselves and the unknown source of the disturbance, they found themselves inching closer to it.

  Their curiosity was engaged, and despite what seemed to be impending danger, they were compelled to edge toward the place where sand and shell met water. They wanted to get as near as possible, so they could better view whatever this strange occurrence might be.

  Nibbler and Murphy loyally remained by the side of the boys, advancing slowly toward the water until they stood at its edge. The Labradoodle’s ears perked up with interest, and his head tilted inquisitively. Murphy’s eyes grew wide, his cheeks puffing in a squirrelly manner that conveyed curiosity.

  Within a handful of seconds, the source of the commotion was revealed. Erupting from the ocean came a creature the likes of which the Beans could have never anticipated.

  They had seen many like it before, for its appearance was familiar to them. However, they had never seen one of such a size… a size that defied the imagination. It was, quite simply, colossal.

  It was a gigantic crab... a crab so huge, it was nearly the same size as the keeper’s ship.

  As it emerged in a great tumult of bursting bubbles and rollicking waves, the cold water ran down its hard, knobby, bluish shell. Its many legs moved like those of a spider, rearing back and then splashing down in the water with great impact.

  It raised its enormous pincers into the air, high above its head, snapping them together. The noise those monstrous pincers made was like giant firecrackers exploding in the cavern, echoing against the rocky surfaces. Clack! Clack! Clack!

  “I was not expecting that to happen!” Jack exclaimed.

  “Great Pythagorean Theorem!” Neil gasped. “That is one amazing crustacean!”

  At the sight of the unbelievable creature, the Beans were all compelled to take an involuntary step backward. It was an amazing spectacle, simultaneously filling them with wonder and alarm. They certainly wouldn’t want the giant to turn those formidable pincers in their direction.

  “Behold - the Crab King!” the keeper bellowed from the deck of his ship. He cackled with glee, rubbing his filthy, grime-encrusted hands together. “He is the ruler of this island... and he must be appeased!”

  Nibbler had turned his attention from the Crab King, and he was woofing at the ground, spinning around in quick circles. Neil and Jack felt something stirring at their ankles, and they looked down. To their amazement, they saw that an army of crabs had gathered at the shore.

  The crabs faced the water and were excitedly clicking their pincers together in the air. It seemed as if they were saluting the Crab King, paying homage to their ruler.

  Fortunately, Neil and Jack had an inordinate abundance of experience, when it came to dealing with things that fell within the realm of weirdness. Therefore, their minds were not completely blown by what they were witnessing, though they were appropriately impressed. They were taken aback and alarmed, but they were not overwhelmed, and they quickly tried to make sense of what they were seeing.

  “Wow, that’s really something, isn’t it?” Neil asked his friend.

  “Yep, it certainly is,” Jack agreed. “Hopefully, it’s an herbivore. What do crabs eat, exactly?”

  “Uh... seaweed, let’s hope,” Neil said, though he was anything but certain of his answer. “Yeah. Let’s just go with seaweed.”

  Jack cast him a suspicious glance that conveyed his doubts. “You’re guessing, aren’t you?”

  Neil shrugged, smiling sheepishly. “Call it an optimistic wager, my friend!”

  “Okay, let’s go with seaweed. Seaweed it is!” Jack declared, in an equally optimistic demeanor (although he had a hard time imagining how the Crab King had managed to grow to such a size, if it had been eating nothing but seaweed).

  “The Crab King must be appeased!” the keeper repeated from his place aboard the ship.

  He reached down to the deck and lifted up a burlap sack, which the Beans instantly recognized. They watched as the keeper reached within the bag and withdrew Noodles’ head, raising it to the height of his chest so that it was clearly visible.

  Though the Beans were exuberant to see that Noodles’ head was intact, suffering from nothing greater than a few scuffs and scrapes, they were distressed to see the keeper handling it in such a menacing manner. They realized there was far too much distance between themselves and the keeper for them to make any kind of attempt to snatch it away from him. For the time being, he had a clear advantage.

  “Uh... what are you planning on doing there, buddy?” asked Jack wearily.

  “It’s like I’ve already told you twice now, you deafened dolt!” the keeper belted. “The Crab King must be appeased. Though this is my island, it’s the true ruler of this place, and we’ve learned to live in harmony. I have to keep this big critter happy, or it gets a bit, er... crabby, if you will. I’ve found that it has a great fondness for trinkets. The shinier, the better! There’s a whole horde of odd treasures in its underwater lair. And I think this little doodad you trespassers brought will please the Crab King greatly... oh, yes, it will be a fine addition to its collection.”

  “What? You’re going to give Noodles’ head to a crab? You’ve really flipped your wig, haven’t you?” Neil asked.

  “We’re dealing with a genuine lunatic here,” Jack whispered to his friend. “And we can’t let him toss Noodles’ noggin into the water!”

  “I heard that, you disrespectful landlubber!” the keeper retorted. “And you wouldn’t know the first thing about dealing with giant, cranky crustaceans!”

  “Well, that’s probably true, but still - you’ve got to return what you have there. Noodles needs his head!” Jack begged.

  “I’ll do no such thing! Why, I’ll do just the opposite, in fact!” the keeper taunted from his safe perch upon the ship.

  He turned away from the Beans, coming to face the Crab King. With an air of pride, he held Noodle’s shiny, spherical head aloft, presenting it to the giant creature.

  As its eyes fell upon the offering, the Crab King became agitated with anticipation, clicking its pincers together at an accelerated rate. The strange eyeballs that were protected within its armor-like shell seemed to bulge with desire at the sight of the strange treasure.

  And then, to the horror of the Beans, the keeper threw Noodles’ noggin, launching it through the air toward the Crab King.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Bananas Inbound