Proud Infinity (VayneLine)

by E. A. Szabelski

  I might have gone crazy actually if I had to ‘re-meet’ her every single time.

  “Hey Proud, let’s take a walk,” I said, looking down the bar. Everyone else stared at me, holding the door open for an invisible person. These people stopped seeming real to me a long, long time ago.

  “I am really impressed with you so far, Tre, you are making great progress.”

  We took a walk over to a small park, where there was a fountain jetting upwards and a bench overlooking the pond. We sat down. I didn’t expect to do much this time period, mainly used it just for a break.

  I turned, smiling at her briefly before sighing as I turned forward. “The Emotion Field sure isn’t perfect for what is occurring here, is it?” I asked. The Emotion Field I eventually learned was the term that referred to a dimensionality our experiences, especially the strong ones, are laid down on. The somberness of graveyards was the easiest example.

  “I sympathize with you. The fact your recollection is imperfect is a testament to your fortitude and determination.”

  I laughed. “The words are nice, but the situation isn’t. Thanks anyway, Proud. So you remember everything? Is that even possible from a memory point of view?”

  She was twirling a piece of her hair and her ribbon in her fingers. She acted like such a girl at times, it was endearing. “You act like we have to play by the same rules. What is it like for you?”

  “Sucks,” I said, sprawling out on the bench, my arm was around her back. She giggled, and leaned into me. She nuzzled her head against my shoulder. “I very rarely remember anything specific. It’s mostly this endless overpowering vagueness. I know that doesn’t make full sense. But I come up to situations, and on this unclear level I remember how to do things. I remember how to aim, how to fight, how to dodge, how to say things specifically to manipulate people.”

  I stopped, pointing at two girls that were walking by. “I don’t seem to know anything about the blonde, but the dark hair one, I get hit with these thoughts that she likes vanilla cake, likes showing off her flexibility, and is lonely. Also she’d fall for my ‘come with me if you want to live’ gambit.” I looked down, pulling Proud away from me for a moment. “Then later I really get to see her flexibility in action…” I hit her with a sly smile.

  Proud playfully hit me. “You’re bad.”

  “I joke, but in truth it really messes with me. I start to forget what I know ‘for real’ compared to remembering from back fractures. I have essentially given up on thinking that maybe I am just projecting or making up things like what I said about that girl and simple roll with that I have found all those things out in the past. It is this disturbing thing where I ‘know’ so much, but can’t remember how I know any of it.”

  “I am sorry, Trego.” She was sincere. “Is there anything I can help you with right now? You know you only need to ask.”

  I didn’t have any requests; simply being with her was enough.

  “Is it true you are here just to help maintain my sanity?” I asked. I had slowly pieced that together. From what I had figured out, LineGods like Proud occasionally interfaced with ‘acting agents’ or whatever we were called. In situations like this, the time loops can be so mentally breaking that the agent does not ever act correctly so the LineGod interface is created. What I was not sure of was if the fact Proud was here meant I would not have ever gotten out of this on my own, or if she was a ‘reward’ of sorts, or what exactly.

  “One of my reasons.” She was swinging her legs off the bench like a little girl.

  “It fucked me up for a long time the first couple times we had sex, or I tried killing you.”

  Her face was sad as she looked downwards. The bow and her long green hair hid her face. “Yeah, I felt so bad for you during that time.”

  “I used to think ‘why the hell is this girl here, she is only making it worse.’ I see that’s not the case now.”

  She smiled at me. “I am glad. I am only here to help.”

  “I see that now. Most of what I do is to eventually get out of here, and on some level to help you because I care about you.”

  I looked at her and thought back to the myriad of thoughts I once had about her. She was a manifestation of some universal will in a way that would most synch with me. It was disturbing at first, maybe a touch of shame to see my perfect embodiment of a female in physical form, but given her tailored traits I quickly came to like her.

  “For a long time I stayed distant from you because I felt like it was this ultimate manipulation. Something crafted just for me, in a way to be this trap I would fall for. Like I was some dumb animal lured in by an intriguing girl.”

  “You were harder to convince than some others. Your skepticism was an advantage as well as a clear negative in terms of us having a good harmonic rate.”

  I grabbed her hand, and we held hands as we watched the ducks swim around. “What I realized, and this is hard to state, is that you were just a ‘child’ of the universe much in the same way as I was. You are much more so, but you were not the universe, so much as just this thing it spit out. Haha, that sounds so bad.”

  She laughed too. “It’s okay.”

  “But that you were a person – sort of – like me that was stuck in this. You were the only one who knew what was going on. The only one I could talk to, even if you couldn’t answer everything I asked. You became my friend, the only one I could turn to.”

  “That was kind of the point! Of course I was here to help your mind, and to eventually have you do the right thing to break this loop.”

  “What happens when we break out of it?”

  “Don’t know, never happened!”

  It made me laugh a little. “Are your Chrono Senses perfect?”

  “That is a weird question to me, but as you understand it, yes. I see all the paths that we can take. However, there is a break that occurs, and of course, until we break out of this, I cannot see the next cycle. It is a pretty strange thing for me.”

  “Are you…uh, hard to say, but like have you done this before?”

  She shook her head, giggling; she seemed like a kid again to me. “No, this is the first time I have been created, so you are my first.”

  I sighed a bit. “Good, I don’t feel as stupid.”

  “I am part of the Line, so I was vaguely aware before this, but as an individual, no this is completely new to me. I have had a very good time with you. I feel quite lucky to have been granted creation!”

  “Anyway, I think I have most of this ready to go. I got a few key players into position, and I have made it into ReCorp a few times but also get killed pretty early. I have not tried in a long time, and got a lot of training with Mitreah, and some tactics from that old guy. I guess we are going to figure out if I can make this stop fairly soon.”

  The wind blew and some of the mist hit us. It felt cold. Real.

  I continued, “I am glad I met you Proud, you have been fun to get to know. If it ends, and you are gone, or I die, I am still happy to have met you. To go through this with, as dark as it has been.”

  “Don’t talk like that.” She separated her hand from mine and rubbed my hair. I leaned into her and let her continue massaging my head. I was happy to feel her hands on me. Her soft fingers played over my eyes, going through my scalp, and just the nice feeling of her stomach and ribs methodically breathing.

  “It is getting late,” she began, “are you going to end it?”

  “No, I want to spend all the time with you.”

  “Okay. Me too.” She tickled my chest, bringing her finger up and down. I kept my eyes closed so I would not know. I only kept focusing on the nice feelings before I was hit with the most tremendous pain imaginable for a few short moments.

  ***

  I woke up and I started laughing. Let’s do this. Even the universe was with me on this one. I had spent so much time learning and doing everything. Each of my attempts got me further and further. The last couple times spent talking to Proud helped calm
my mind. I felt ready. I was never a soldier, but I had become one. I knew how to move, how to think, how to fight. I had been transformed into this nearly unstoppable fighting force.

  Okay. I reviewed everything in my mind. I could get onto the truck heading into ReCorp at the port, I could pick up the combat android, Mitreah, disguised as a receptionist, and the old guy would give me some old explosives with the right conversation tread. And lastly Proud would only come with me into ReCorp if I asked her first at the bar, she really on it because things had to ‘come full circle’ which apparently really mattered to her.

  I walked into the bar. Everyone there was staring at me like they had what I think was the very first time, so many times ago. I turned straight to my friend, long ago giving up what others ‘thought’ of me. “Proud, I think I might have it this time. Would you like to come?”

  Her lips rose slightly in a knowing way. “Of course. How nice of you to ask me.” I left those fools I was saving at the bar in their confusion.

  “Alright, so I think this time I stand a really good chance. I woke up and remembered everything. It was pretty overwhelming, but I think this might be it this time.”

  We held each other’s hand as we dashed towards the fence. The old guy would not be here for a while, but I did not have the luxury of time as everything was precisely orchestrated. I ran down a few streets, up a building and knocked on the door. He was surprised as he always was, with his gun hidden right behind the door as I had found out once dying in the hallway. He probably wondered at my hand ‘floating’ in the air gripping nothing.

  I said the right words, which were unfortunately lies, about how I was an agent and used his operator name and some key phrases such as “Coding Alpha Delta, Operator task transference requested”. His innocent face hardened, and nodded when I said it was vital I have any explosive he might be able to give me to stop an implanted enemy.

  Taking the small pack he gave me we ran out of there over to the spaceport. Alright, still plenty of time. At the very edge of the sky the ship was just barely visible to even my highest magnification I could overlay on my eyes. I needed to be on that, but time was on my side.

  “Mitreah: Farewell fallen sword,” I said while walking straight towards Mitreah. Her eyes glazed over for a moment and they changed the color slightly before coming back into focus. She looked right at me, cold but absolute focus.

  “Override confirmed. What are your orders?”

  I smiled. “Alright!” I shook my hand with Proud’s in it and she looked back and nodded happily. “You wouldn’t believe how long it took to figure that one out.”

  “So far, so good, Tre.”

  Still talking to the girl, “We are going to go onto the vehicle that ship is carrying and are riding it into ReCorp. I need your entire combat mode powers unlocked, and it is imperative I am protected at all costs. Oh, and can you do it with a normal personality? I don’t like the coldness.”

  Mitreah laughed. “Sure. That final part is a strange request, but I cannot deny it is much more fun this way. This should be entertaining.”

  “Do you want another weapon?”

  She shook her head. “I prefer my own.” Her hand changed from its thin fingers into a sharp blade the length of her forearm. I had seen that trick before and I guess I never realized how serious of a weapon it could be. She always just struck me without the actual blade, but the razor edge would end anyone easily.

  I walked with the two girls who were here to protect me out to the landing pad. I felt poised, I felt ready. I would stop the time fracture.

  We still had a little time while it was landing. I felt poised but there was a little doubt creeping in. What would happen after the fracture was over? I was not sure, and I actually did not care. I had lived more than long enough, with more than enough experiences. I wanted to complete the divine task given to me. Maybe this was Proud’s purpose all along.

  The ship had landed, and a large bay door had opened, the loose grav plate vehicle sitting there as two people went through the final checks before they would drive off.

  I started walking up. “Hey, are you authorized to be here?” It is always a good idea to question people before they question you.

  “What? Yes we are…” He lifted his face from the screen he was holding. I took out my Liner pistol and smashed it across his face. He fell to the ground before I looked to the next one. “Mitreah, take him out, but try to not kill him.”

  The cute girl of the space port leaned far forward as she dashed inhumanly fast at the other man on the ship. He barely had time to look surprised before she punched him in the stomach, and slipped behind him, her arms going around his neck. For a moment I thought she was going to kill him, but he simply fell to the ground unconscious from being choked out. I threw their two bodies out of the way of the truck and we hopped in. I hit a string of button prompts on the screen before it went to flashing ‘Ready?’ and we were off. I remember how many times I had died trying to get the damn truck moving.

  “Am I crazy?” I asked to the two woman with me. Mitreah shrugged, saying probably, but she wasn’t one to judge. Proud said no. If I was crazy, at least it was fun.

  We rumbled through the streets, passing by the millions of places I had seen so carefully in the scope of a single cycle. I was shot there, I killed someone there… We came now to the single road into ReCorp. The gate opened for our vehicle, and on both sides the ground fell away into the huge pit. I hoped this controlled vehicle wouldn’t decide to spill us over the edge.

  “In case you are wondering, we are taking out the particle accelerator or disabling it in some other way to stop it from causing the creation of a dangerous particle.”

  “You don’t need to justify anything to me,” Mitreah said. “I am simply happy to be back to my old self.”

  “I thought you might like to know. Do you really not care what I tell you to do?”

  “Often it is only our Creators that know our override, and no, you do not possess complete control over me, in case someone was thinking of doing something perverted.” She smiled slyly at me. “Though to you, I might do things willingly…”

  I shook my head only once. “No, I outgrew that a long time ago.”

  “You seem sincere. But my Creator died, and you seem fun enough, so I might have done this mission anyway if you asked. This is what I truly enjoy; not sitting in an empty room people rarely come to.” I had asked before, she only came if I knew her code word, she was too loyal to the nearly defunct spaceport.

  Damn, this was scary; I had rarely made it this far before. Everything I had done had been to bring me to this position, and now, well, now it was time.

  In my hand was my Liner pistol, and a small satchel of high explosives from an ex-special operative. I had long ago in all my annihilations gotten over the idea or revulsion of killing. If I could spare them like at the dock I would. This was too important even if they were innocent. I was not convinced of their innocence or not, but it did not matter to me anymore.

  The vehicle stopped, and some guy opened the door. “Hey.”

  “Hi,” I said, lifting my pistol and plugging him right in the chest. I turned back to the two girls. “Let’s go.” Proud jumped out gracefully, landing and walking behind me. Mitreah jumped out, dashed across the room insanely fast, slashing a man who was standing there. The only thing I saw was a spray across the wall behind him.

  “Any idea where to go?” I asked the two of them. I had not been inside here for a long time, and this one the first where I had my skills and the two women with me. They responded ‘no’. “Well, let’s see if we can’t get lucky this time. We can always try again,” I said as I started laughing at my own joke. Turning to my left I ran through a door shaped like a circular portal that opened as we got close. If it was an accelerator, I only had to work my way to the middle where the core would be, so that seemed a good place to start heading.

  We were running down a hallway, eerily empty, with Proud beh
ind me and Mitreah the combat android in front of me. Some guy stepped out from a corner, and before I even realized he was there, he was dead at her feet. She crouched back down in a scary combat stance.

  “Hey, this way,” I said to her as I took to the right as we headed a new way, and within seconds she caught up with us and was back on vanguard. There was a sign warning about having protective suits on and I figured we might be getting close. My fear of dying was long since gone; I had done it so many times. I neared the portal, but it didn’t open. I tried the handle and it was locked.

  “Damn it!” I pulled my pistol towards it, firing some rounds into the locking mechanism and front kicked the door, but it remained solid. “No way. A damn door is going to stop us?”

  “Show some faith,” Mitreah said as she stepped up, stabbing her blade hand into the door. I saw the muscles in her arms flex hard as a piece of steel came pulling out of the door with her appendage vaguely like a mutated hand. “Try it now,” she said with a smile.

  At about that time a siren started wailing. “Attention all personnel, we are under attack. The agent is located at Block Six. Exercise extreme caution. Repeat, hostile agent located at Block Six. All combat personnel deploy immediately.”

  Oh man, I forgot they have a security force. That’s how I got killed so fast a long time ago and it made me stop trying.

  “Hope you are close to the target,” Proud said as I pushed the door and it slid open on an emergency track.

  The door opened, and in front of us was a voluminous room with a long blue mechanical tube stretched far beneath the small walkway we were on. We were running on the thin walkway when a shot from below us exploded above my head on the roof.

  “Damn!” I dropped into a tightly compacted crouch as we crept forward. “Is this it!? Is this what we need to destroy? Do I just drop the bomb here?”

  Though I suppose neither of them knew the answer.

  “There they are!” Across the walkway a squad of three people appeared in the opening doorway, kneeling to take firing positions. Rifles. They were going to hit me way before I lucked a pistol round downrange to hit them.