by Sarah Morgan
Ruth didn’t deliver until the early hours of the morning and Hayley stayed with her, offering support, enjoying her moment of happiness, which was even more poignant given how thrilled Ruth’s husband was.
Afterwards she drank a cup of tea on her own in the staffroom, wondering what would happen when her time came.
Would she be alone? Or would some kind midwife be willing to sit with her through the night while she laboured?
It was still dark outside when she finally arrived back at Patrick’s barn and Hayley crept up to her bedroom, packed her one small suitcase and lay fully clothed on top of the bed until it seemed like a reasonable time to call a taxi.
Maybe she was being cowardly, leaving while everyone was still in bed, but she couldn’t face an emotional departure.
She’d written letters to the children and left them on the table in the kitchen. She’d tried to write a letter to Patrick but after about fifty attempts she’d given up.
At some point they’d have to talk, of course. They needed to sort out what they were going to do. He’d want access to his child and she wanted that, too. She didn’t want their child growing up not knowing his or her father.
And she’d do the right thing. Make it as easy as she could for everyone—try and get a job close by. Not too local—that would be asking too much—but close enough.
The crunch of tyres in the drive told her that the taxi had arrived and she took a last look around the barn before stepping out into the snow and closing the door behind her.
Jack, the taxi driver, waved from the car and she waved back, hoping he wasn’t going to ask her too many questions. Hayley felt as though she’d lived a whole life since he’d first dropped her here two weeks earlier.
She was four steps down the path when her legs went in different directions.
‘Oh, for—’ Bracing herself for impact, she screwed up her face but this time powerful arms caught her, lifting her upright before she hit the ground.
‘I don’t know how you think you’re going to manage without me,’ Patrick drawled. ‘You can’t even walk if I’m not there to catch you.’
Her heart pounding, Hayley clutched at him as he steadied her. ‘I didn’t know you were awake.’
‘I haven’t been to sleep. Have you?’
‘Well, no.’ She doubted she’d ever sleep again. The misery inside her felt so great she had no idea how she was going to cope. ‘Patrick, I have to go. Jack is waiting.’
‘He’s all right for a minute—you’re not running away from me, Hayley. Not before we’ve talked.’ Patrick was still holding her, his hands firm on her arms. ‘And we have lots to talk about.’
‘I know. I know we’re going to have to talk at some point, but I can’t do it now. I need some time—’
‘Time for what?’
‘Time to think! Time to—I don’t know. Time to get over you.’
Patrick inhaled sharply. ‘Why would you want to get over me?’
‘Because we can’t be together.’ Her voice was clogged. ‘And having your baby is difficult, but it’s my problem and I’ll sort it out.’
‘Problem?’ He frowned, his eyes searching hers. ‘You haven’t told me how you feel about being pregnant. Is it a problem, sweetheart? Is that how you feel?’
Her heart turned over. ‘No, of course not. It’s just…’ Just because of us, was what she wanted to say. But what was the point?
‘Hayley, I don’t want you to “get over” me.’ His lean handsome face was unusually pale, his voice ragged. ‘I want you to marry me. I told you that yesterday.’
‘I can’t marry you, you know that.’
‘I don’t know that.’ His eyes shimmered with raw intensity. ‘I love you and at first I couldn’t work out why you would possibly say no when I know you love me, too. I spent the night thinking about it. I spent the night thinking, Why would she turn me down?’
‘Patrick, you know why.’
‘When did you discover you were pregnant, Hayley?’
‘Yesterday morning in clinic.’
His eyebrows rose. ‘And you didn’t say anything to anyone? The one time you need some support—the time you needed to talk—you kept it a secret?’
‘It was too big to share.’
Patrick muttered something under his breath. ‘Nothing is ever too big for us to share.’
‘This was. I didn’t know how to tell you,’ Hayley said huskily, ‘What was the point in telling you?’
‘I can’t believe you just said that.’ Patrick’s grip didn’t ease. ‘It took me most of the night to work out why you would turn me down, Hayley. And then I realised that it’s my fault. The reason you won’t marry me is because of what happened with Carly, isn’t it?’
‘Yes. Partly.’ She didn’t deny it. ‘A baby isn’t a reason to get married, Patrick. You told me that.’
‘And I stand by that. It’s true. A baby isn’t a reason to get married. But the baby isn’t the reason I asked you to marry me.’
‘Of course it is. You said that—’
‘I proposed to you before I knew you were pregnant, Hayley.’
She opened her mouth and closed it again. Then opened it. But nothing came out.
Patrick gave a faint smile. ‘You’re doing it again. Staying silent when I need to know what you’re thinking. I never thought I’d have to say this to you, but could you please start talking?’
‘Patrick…’ Words failed her and he sighed.
‘That night in Chicago was incredible. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I even contemplated getting in touch with you but I had no idea what I’d say. I’d decided that it wasn’t fair to drag the children to the States, and I couldn’t ask you to come here. And when I opened my door on Christmas Eve and you were standing there…’
‘You thought I was pregnant,’ Hayley whispered. ‘And you were shocked.’
‘Yes,’ he said honestly. ‘I’d made that mistake before and I wasn’t going to make it again. But then I got to know you.’
‘It’s only been a couple of weeks—’
‘Yes. And those weeks have been incredible. You transformed our lives with your sunny personality, your goodness and your non-stop chatter. You made us happy. And I thought you were happy, too.’
Her eyes stinging, Hayley smiled. ‘I was happy. Very happy.’
‘Then why are you leaving?’
‘Because I’m pregnant and that changes everything.’
‘I asked you to marry me because I love you. Not because you’re having my baby. And I’m asking you again now, for the same reason.’ His hands shifted from her arms to her face and he gazed down at her. ‘I love you. I want to be with you. Will you marry me?’
‘Say yes, love,’ Jack yelled from the taxi, and Hayley gave a gasp of horror and buried her face in Patrick’s coat.
‘He can hear us?’
‘Every word,’ Patrick said calmly, ‘and I really couldn’t care less. It’s your answer I want, not his.’
‘Patrick—’
‘Answer me one question.’ He lifted her chin with his fingers and for once his voice wasn’t completely steady. ‘Do you love me?’
She gazed into his blue eyes, suddenly shy. ‘Yes, of course I do. You know that.’
‘How much?’
‘As much as it’s possible to love someone. I’m crazy about you. Do you really have to ask? I gave up everything to come here, Patrick. I gave up my job, my flat—I made a complete fool of myself over you. I followed my dream.’
With a groan he lowered his head to hers, his kiss unusually tender. ‘Now answer me another question.’ He murmured the words against her mouth, his eyes holding hers. ‘Do you love my children?’
‘I adore your children!’
‘Then what’s the problem?’
Distracted by the kiss, it took Hayley a moment to answer. ‘Pregnancy isn’t a good reason to get married.’
‘We’ve just established that I
proposed before I knew you were pregnant.’
Unable to argue with that, she pulled away slightly. ‘It isn’t just you, Patrick,’ she confessed softly. ‘It’s me, too. I mean, I was brought up in a stepfamily and frankly it was awful. Dysfunctional just doesn’t begin to describe it. All right, we love each other—but that might not be enough! It isn’t just about us, is it? It’s about Alfie and Posy and how they might feel about the baby. What if they resent it?’
‘We won’t resent it!’ Alfie was standing in the doorway, shivering in his dressing gown, Posy in his arms. ‘We can’t wait for you to marry Daddy and give us a baby brother or sister, can we, Pose? Well, Posy doesn’t really know, of course, because she’s still little and only interested in her blanket, but also because she hasn’t had a sister yet, and I have. It’s great.’ He frowned. ‘Well, maybe not the nappy part, that’s pretty gross actually, but the rest of it is cool.’
Hayley gave a cry of concern. ‘How long have you been standing there? Alfie, you must be freezing.’
‘We’ve been here long enough to hear everything. We’re a family, Hayley. Team Buchannan. You should join our team.’ Alfie shifted Posy awkwardly. ‘Dad is a pretty good catch. All the women around here want him.’
Hayley bit back a laugh. ‘You’ve only known me for a couple of weeks. Why would you want me to be on your team?’
‘Well, there’s the obvious stuff of course—you can cook well, and you’re great at clearing up after us. And then there’s the fact that two of the kittens are yours so if you stay we get to keep all four, which would be cool. But the real reason is because we love you and we know you love Dad.’ Alfie hitched Posy up in his arms. ‘I heard you say you love him. Mum never said that. Not once. I heard her say loads of stuff to Dad, but she never said I love you. You do love Dad, I can tell. And he loves you. And so do we. And do you mind if I go in now, because Posy weighs a ton? It must be all the turkey she’s eaten.’ Staggering slightly, he backed into the house, leaving Hayley with tears pouring down her cheeks.
‘I can’t believe he just said all that.’ She was humbled by the children’s warmth and acceptance.
‘Do you really think our family isn’t going to work?’ Laughing, Patrick took her hand and slid the ring back onto her finger. ‘We’re not going to let you say no, Hayley. We want you on Team Buchannan. Say yes. Come on—of all the words I’ve heard you say, that’s the one I want to hear.’
Hayley looked around her. She looked at the beautiful barn, the mountains and the snow-covered trees. And then she looked at the man standing in front of her—the man she loved.
‘You do realise that Alfie is right—if you marry me you’ll end up keeping all four kittens,’ she said, and her voice wobbled. ‘He gave them to me as a present and I won’t be parted from them.’
Patrick rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. ‘I think I can probably cope.’
‘You’re sure you don’t want more time to think about it?’
‘I’m sure. I love you, Hayley, that isn’t going to change.’
‘In that case, yes,’ she said in a choked voice. ‘Yes, of course. I’ll marry you. Oh, Patrick…’ She flung her arms round his neck and Jack beeped the horn madly and cheered.
‘Good job I don’t have any neighbours,’ Patrick drawled, his mouth against hers as he kissed her again. ‘Given that he knows such a lot about your underwear, I think perhaps we’d better invite Jack to the wedding. What do you think?’
‘I think I love you, Patrick Buchannan,’ Hayley said huskily. ‘I think I love you with all my heart.’
ISBN: 978-1-4268-4509-3
CHRISTMAS EVE: DOORSTEP DELIVERY
First North American Publication 2009
Copyright © 2009 by Sarah Morgan
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
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Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Contents
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
Copyright
