“You did.” She gazed at him with droopy eyes.
“Then why’d you do it?”
“I didn’t. Dani did.”
Her softly-spoken words jabbed his conscience, and Dani’s large blue eyes and brilliant smile face flitted to his mind. That image seemed to make its way to his thoughts a lot here lately, and it displeased him to no end. He clamped his lips together and sauntered to the coffee pot to pour the dark brew into his travel mug. The fact that Dani wasn’t above getting her fingers dirty somehow impressed him.
“She spent most of her Spring Break out there pulling weeds for me.” Mama Beth’s voice sounded forlorn, almost homesick.
He made his way back to the table, noted her weary expression, and planted a kiss on her soft curls. If her doctor didn’t call soon, he’d make a phone call of his own. “Sorry I over-reacted. You okay?”
“I guess so.”
Steve blew out a breath and sat, the chair creaking beneath his weight. “Heard from the doctor yet?”
“No, but he’s supposed to call sometime today.”
He sipped the coffee and peered at her over the top of his cup. Since Dani had left, she’d done nothing but mope. His mug clunked against the wooden tabletop louder than intended. “Why are you so down in the dumps?”
A balking-mule look lurked in her eyes.
“I mean it, Mama Beth. What’s going on?”
A compliant sigh whooshed from her. “Okay. I talked to Dani last night.” Worried lines inched across her forehead. “I told you she’s had a rough year.”
“Yes, but you didn’t give me any details.” The oven timer buzzed, and she started to rise. Steve laid a hand on her arm. “You stay put. I’ll get it.” He stepped to the stove and removed the cookies. Mmm. Mama Beth’s snicker doodles could add five pounds by the smell alone. Hopefully they’d be cool enough to sample before he had to leave.
He returned to his seat. “Okay, finish what you were saying.”
“Dani lost her father and husband this past year.”
“Lost as in they died?”
“Yes.” Her eyes filled with tears and she swallowed. “And that’s not the worst of it.”
How much worse could it get? It’d be difficult to lose one person you loved. Two was almost unimaginable.
“Right before her husband’s car accident, he asked Dani for a divorce. A woman he’d been seeing was killed in the wreck with him.”
His stomach churned. Two deaths and a divorce? It sounded too horrible to be true.
“You’d never know what she’s been through by looking at her, but she’s hurting. I have to find a way to help.” Her voice broke.
Indecision battered his insides. Only a calloused heart wouldn’t be moved by the tragedy Dani had endured, but what if it wasn’t true? If this was a scheme to play on Mama Beth’s sympathy, it reeked. He rose to his feet, an odd mixture of guilt and resolve coursing through him. “There’s something I need to do. I’ll see you in the morning.” He kissed her cheek, ignoring her puzzled frown as he exited the room.
An hour later, he fell back against the chair in his home office, staring at the computer, the glow from the screen the only light left in the room. It was all true. Daniel Hampton had died last February. Less than two months later, Richard Davis and Melissa Brown were killed in a car accident. Public records proved Dani’s husband had filed for divorce a week before his death.
He rested an elbow on the desk and rubbed a hand across his forehead, his chest crushed beneath a weight of regret. Dani was a hurting soul, but instead of reaching out to her, he’d chosen to believe the worst. God, forgive me. I judged her based on outward appearances. I assumed she was like Mom.
Assumed she had an agenda.
~~o~~
Finishing off the last bite of brownie, Dani licked the crumbs from her fingers. While the comfort food hadn’t erased the wound she felt from the latest run-in with Mother, at least it tasted heavenly.
She laid her cheek against the cool leather of the sofa in her Dallas townhome. A move to Miller’s Creek sounded better with each passing day, but what if Jen was right? What if all she needed was a summer break? It had been a rough couple of years, enough to push anyone over the edge.
Dani grabbed her water bottle and took a swig, her hand shaking. Part of the water sloshed from her mouth, dribbling down her chin, and she swabbed it with her fingers. A rash decision would only lead to regret, but something had to give before she came apart at the seams.
What about spending only the summer in Miller’s Creek? The idea tossed in her head. It would provide time away in a relaxing atmosphere, but wouldn’t resolve the situation with Mother. She’d still be angry. Dani rolled her neck against the back cushion and stared at the ceiling. How was she supposed to know what to do?
Pray. Mama Beth said to pray. Well, it certainly couldn’t hurt.
“God, I don’t exactly know how to do this praying thing, but I’ll do my best. Surely You understand this problem better than I do, so please help me know what I’m supposed to do.” She waited, but nothing seemed different. If anything, the words bounced off the ceiling, leaving the room emptier than ever.
The shrill sound of the ringing phone shattered the silence, and she jumped. She brought a hand to her chest, her pulse sprinting. Come on, Dani, get a grip.
The phone shrilled a second time. Probably Mother calling with another guilt trip. She took in a cleansing breath and released it, then made her way to the phone as it rang again. “Hello?”
“Dani?” Mama Beth’s voice sounded strained, almost urgent.
“Hi, is everything okay?”
A quiet nothing, then sobs.
Her heart pounding, she collapsed onto the desk chair. “What’s wrong?” Her aunt’s gut-wrenching cries spread raw terror throughout her body. God, give me the strength to bear this, whatever it is.
Several seconds elapsed before her aunt spoke. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to break down like that.”
“It’s okay. Just tell me what’s wrong.”
From the other end came a half-whisper, half-sob. “I have a brain tumor.”
~~o~~
CHAPTER TEN
Of Pain and Problems
Dani slammed on the brakes and swerved, her heart racing. The car spun around, careening out of control, as the tires squealed against the pavement. She squeezed her eyes shut and tensed in anticipation of the impact and sickening thud. It never came. Instead she came to a jerky stop and pried open her eyes to see the whitetail deer bounding away into darkness. She released a tremulous breath and unpeeled her fingers from the steering wheel, raising a trembling hand to her knotted shoulder muscles.
After several minutes of deep breathing, her pulse slowed, so she eased off the brake, straightened the tires, and resumed her journey to Miller’s Creek. It would’ve been wiser to postpone the trip until tomorrow, but under the circumstances she couldn’t. Not when Mama Beth needed her.
As she topped the hill, the streetlights of Miller’s Creek came into view, stretched out beneath the star-studded Texas sky. Relief and joy washed over her. Lamps shone in the windows of cottages lining the road, as if to welcome her and light the way home. Her neck tingled. A Presence—a Someone—bigger, stronger, wiser, here with her. Without fully understanding why, she prayed.
God, I’m still trying to figure out who You are and what You want from me. I’m so scared for Mama Beth. I don’t deserve Your help, but I’m asking for it all the same.
Her mind quieted and she waited. For what? An answer? Her waiting was replaced by an overwhelming urge to get to Mama Beth.
Dani sped down the darkened road toward the house and whipped the car into the driveway, the tires crunching the gravel. Without stopping for luggage, she opened the gate and sprinted to the front door, the screen door slamming behind her. “Mama Beth?” Panic elevated the pitch of her voice.
Her aunt’s figure appeared in the doorway, silhouetted by the kitchen light. “Dani!
”
She flew to her aunt’s arms, tears already coursing down her cheeks. Had she found her only to lose her again?
Mama Beth rubbed her back and crooned in her ear. “Now, now, don’t cry, child. I’m going to be okay.” Her aunt smelled of vanilla, the scent of fresh-baked cookies and home.
Dani drew back with a shuddering sigh and swiped at her dampened cheeks. “I’m sorry. I came to comfort you, not the other way around.” She sensed Steve’s presence and turned to face him. He stood in the doorway, his dark, brooding gaze riveted on her in a way that weakened her knees and sent her nerves scurrying for shelter. “H-hello, Steve.” She offered him a tentative smile.
“Hi.”
One angst-filled syllable revealed the depth of his sorrow. His troubled eyes searched hers and she allowed it. What did he expect from her?
Mama Beth latched onto her arm. “Come on, you two, let’s sit at the table. Dani, would you like some tea?”
“Yes, but I’ll get it. You rest.” She laid an arm across her aunt’s shoulder and attempted to steer her to a chair.
“Nonsense,” said Mama Beth, shrugging off her touch. “Steve’s already been treating me like a china doll, and here you are doing the same. You’ll sit at that table like you’re told.”
Dani opened her mouth to protest, but one look at her aunt’s cemented expression changed her mind. A slight snickering sound drew her eyes to Steve, whose lips twisted in amusement. Her patience snapped as she pulled out a ladder-back chair and plopped into it. “What’s so funny?”
“I’m just glad you’re the one in trouble this time.” His voice was a conspiratorial whisper.
That grin of his made it impossible to think. She bit back a smile then glimpsed Mama Beth headed their direction. “Shhh, she’s coming.”
“Here you go.” Her aunt handed her the cup and positioned a bear-shaped bottle of honey on the table. “I remembered you take your tea with honey.”
Dani swallowed against the lump in her throat, touched by her aunt’s kindness. Mother couldn’t even remember she hated Chinese food. She drizzled the honey into the liquid and stirred the tea, her spoon clinking against the side of the cup. “Okay, tell me exactly what the doctor said.”
Mama Beth lowered herself to a chair, her face solemn. “The brain scan they did last week shows a mass. That’s what’s causing the headaches and dizzy spells.”
Her big toe squirmed inside her shoe as she sipped the tea. A frightening question loomed in her mind and caused the honeyed sweetness in her stomach to sour. “Does he know whether . . . ?” The words stuck to the inside of her mouth and refused to budge.
“They won’t know if it’s malignant until after they operate.” Steve’s voice cracked.
Mama Beth slapped her fingertips against the table. “Both of you stop it! I’m going to be fine. There’s no point in getting all worked up until we know something more definite.”
Dani could only stare at her, wide-eyed. “How can you be so calm about this? Don’t you . . .” She stopped, unable to put words to her thoughts.
Her aunt leaned close and covered her hand with her own. “I’m going to be okay no matter what happens. God’s in control. If He means for me to live, I will. If not, I’m going home.”
Home? Not hardly. What her aunt hinted at was death. Death might be a final home to those it swallowed, but to those in its wake it was nothing more than a thief who stole hope and left a big gaping hole. She blinked back tears and found her voice. “Have they set a date for the surgery?”
Steve and Mama Beth shared a look. “Next week in Dallas.” Her aunt’s voice carried a slight tremor.
The back of Dani’s throat cinched. “Why so soon?”
Her aunt’s face contorted, but she regained quick control. “They’re concerned about the size of the tumor.”
The words sucked oxygen from the room and Dani’s breath came in gasps. Air. She needed air. Her chair scraped against the wooden floor as she pushed away from the table, and words tumbled out between trembling breaths. “I’m going after my things.”
Her mind whirled on the trek to the car. This couldn’t be happening. Was God going to take Mama Beth from her, too?
She managed to pop open the trunk before hard sobs racked her body and doubled her over. Footsteps crunched in the gravel beside her. Clutching both arms, she straightened, her mouth flooding with salty tears. Through watery eyes she made out a shape. Steve.
Dani cupped her face with the palms of her hands. “I can’t lose her, too.” The words sounded foreign and distant. As if they came from someone else.
The gap between them closed, and he pulled her to him, her head pressed to his chest as she clung to him and wept. He said nothing, made no sounds, but in his silence she sensed desperate sorrow. Finally her sobs subsided, and her sniffling shudders synchronized with the steady thump of his heart. How she longed to stay in the safe shelter of his strong arms, but she couldn’t. Best not to allow herself to even travel that road. She pulled away and used the heels of her hands in a vain attempt to erase the evidence of her grief.
Steve reached into his back pocket and withdrew a folded handkerchief. With a gentle touch he tilted her face toward the moonlight and used the clean cloth to dab her tears. She watched him, enthralled, his jaw fashioned from granite, his mouth unmoving. But his eyes . . .
What was happening? No! She refused to let a man side-wind his way into her life again. Had she learned nothing from her empty marriage? Dani tore herself from his grasp and turned to the car trunk to gather her things. Two people caught up in sorrow—that’s all this was.
“Can I carry something?” His husky voice disrupted her thoughts.
She handed him her suitcase without looking his way, then grabbed her book bag, slammed the trunk, and headed toward the stone walkway that lead to the house.
He stepped into her path, blocking her way, his eyes questioning. “You okay?”
Okay? After the news about Mama Beth? No, she wasn’t okay, but it would be far too easy to get lost in his concern. She shrugged and focused her attention on a wispy cloud that drifted in front of the moon. “I don’t know. What about you?”
“I want to be all right for Mama Beth’s sake.” His strangled words, raw with emotion, drew her gaze to his pain-etched face.
She understood that kind of pain. Had felt its intensity and dealt with it more in the past year than she cared to think about. Without warning something inside shifted, as the stone façade covering her heart cracked a little then burst open wide.
How long had it been since she’d felt anything other than numb, and for someone other than herself? Her long-lost compassion slashed wounds as it twisted through her body, and unbidden emotions surged to the surface. Feelings she wanted to forget.
This was thin ice she trod. Dangerously thin.
Steeling her determination, she squelched the feelings and stepped around him to make her way to the porch. As she passed, a single tear slipped down his cheek. Her breath hitched at the electrical jolt searing through her. Flinging her bag to the ground, she used her bare hand to wipe away the tear. Since when had his pain mattered more than her own?
The sorrow in his expression rippled hurt through her chest. Dani pulled her gaze away and stooped to pick up her books. She refused to get caught up in the emotion of a moonlit night. Refused to open her heart any further to a man she barely knew. Refused to let herself care too much.
He placed a hand on her arm, drawing her gaze to the troubled depths of his cinnamon eyes, his touch whispering against her skin. “Mama Beth told me you lost your father and husband last year.” His eyes bored into her with an intensity that slashed through the last tenuous threads of her resolve. “I want you to know how sorry I am.”
She faced him, grateful he’d been the one to bring it up. Best to explain now, upfront, to make sure he knew where she stood. “Thank you. I know you’ll understand that right now I’m an emotional mess. I can’t allow myself
to—”
“I understand.” His voice fell flat and soft and sad.
She ached to know what his tone implied, but it was too late.
He’d already turned to go inside.
~~o~~
Two o’clock in the morning, and still no sleep.
Steve shut off the droning noise of the television and stared at the ceiling fan, his mind reeling with the events of the day. Amazing how a mere speck in the vast eternity of time could alter things forever.
Life could be so fickle. One minute you cruised along, able to take the speed bumps in the road, and the next minute you lay flat on your back on hot asphalt wondering what hit you. The news about Mama Beth crushed against him. Why, God? Why her? He groaned then wound both hands through his hair, fisting them. Please let her be okay.
Steve pulled himself to an upright position and opened the window to let in the fragrant night air and chirp of crickets. The image of Dani’s tear-streaked face invaded his mind, and his throat constricted. Something about her sorrow touched him in a way he never expected. Her tears weren’t just an act. She truly loved Mama Beth, loved her as much as he did.
Her gut-twisting words echoed in his head. “I can’t lose her, too.” He punched his pillow in frustration, and rolled onto his side, his chest tightening. Poor Dani. One more round of grief to add to her collection. Why had he ever doubted her?
God, forgive me. I have You, but I’m not sure she does. Help me weather this storm in a way that pleases You and helps her.
He puzzled over his feelings. Not since Lauren could he remember feeling this way about a woman, and it made no sense. Dani wasn’t the kind of woman he was looking for. Not only was she from the city like his mother, but probably wasn’t even a believer. His mind flashed to the scene in the moonlight. What had come over him? Why had he acted so foolishly? He attempted to fit the pieces together, but then remembered her final words.
It really didn’t matter what he felt. Dani wasn’t the least bit interested.
Texas Roads (A Miller's Creek Novel) Page 8
