How to Date a Werewolf

by Rose Pressey

  I had to think quickly.

  “Um, that’s code. Yes, that’s my code. It means they want someone very hairy.”

  “Hairy?” His expression was nothing short of shocked.

  “Yes, hairy.” I went for a nonchalant look.

  “I can’t believe that many people want someone hairy,” he said.

  “You’d be surprised. People have strange fetishes.”

  “Right. Okay. Well, what about vampire?”

  “Oh, that means someone who’s clingy. You know, they just suck the life right out of you.” Where did I come up with this stuff?

  “There are actually people who want that?”

  “Like I said, there are some weird people in this world.”

  “You have a strange way of organizing your clients.” He scratched his head.

  “It works.” Big fat liar. I was going to hell. Why couldn’t I just tell him the truth? I told Jennifer. Of course I’d been young and stupid when I told her, but it had worked out. Just then I heard the door of the foyer open and turned to see the uniformed men enter.

  “Someone phoned the police?” The short, pudgy man surveyed the room.

  “Yes, officer, I called the police.”

  Acknowledging their presence made me edgy. I hadn’t wanted to invite them.

  “I’m Officer McDonnell and this is Officer Doody.” He pointed at the other man in uniform standing in the doorway.

  Did he say Doody? I tried to keep a straight face as I nodded and said, “Hello, I’m Rylie Cruz and this is Jack Chandler.”

  Jack shook their hands. They didn’t offer to shake mine, which was fine by me. They took their businesslike persona to the next level.

  “Whoa. You got a real mess on your hands. Did you have a lovers’ spat?” Officer Doody pulled a pad of paper from his pocket. He took in my appearance with his beady, chocolate-colored eyes. Something was odd about his face, and at first I couldn’t put my finger on what seemed off about his appearance. Then I realized he had nearly nonexistent eyebrows, which kind of creeped me out. From the looks of both men, we could be in for a long night. They seemed to move in slow motion. Maybe if I offered to pay for doughnuts they’d hurry it along.

  “No, it’s not a lovers’ spat. This is my office. Someone broke in and destroyed everything. I think they came in through the window.” I waved my hand to point out the destruction.

  “Uh-huh. Did you leave the window open?” Officer McDonnell scoffed. His dark hair appeared wet from what I assumed to be sweat. Taking in his appearance, I wondered if his shirt buttons might zing across the room at any moment. They strained under the pressure of his bulging belly.

  “No. Of course not. I distinctly remember closing it.”

  “Did you lock the window?”

  “I don’t remember. It was shut, but I don’t know about locked.”

  “Uh-huh.” He scribbled something down. “Is anything missing?”

  “Not that I’m aware of. Of course I haven’t looked closely. That will take some time.”

  “Did you touch anything?”

  “Yes.” Jack had a guilty face and I suspected he wished he hadn’t touched my desk. Either that or he wished he hadn’t gotten caught touching possible evidence. “I moved some papers.”

  “And I moved the lamp and the figurines. Oh, and I touched the light switch over there on the wall too.” Maybe my confession made Jack less troubled by his snooping, although that hadn’t been my intention. Let him sweat it out for poking around.

  “You shouldn’t have done that.” Officer Doody wiped the sweat off his forehead with a handkerchief he’d pulled from his pocket. It wasn’t even that hot, but both men were perspiring as if the room was a sauna.

  “Sorry, I didn’t know. I’m not familiar with break-in etiquette,” I said.

  “What made you come down here in the middle of the night to discover this?” He ran his eyes along my body, stopping at my chest.

  “I was in bed and heard something crash down here.” I folded my arms across my chest to block his view.

  “When do you think this happened? About what time?”

  “About an hour ago, I guess.”

  “Did you hear anything?” Doody gestured to Jack.

  Jack shook his head. “No.”

  “With all of this mess, I would think you’d have heard more than one crash. This would make a lot of noise.”

  “I don’t know. I heard a couple of crashes, I guess. Plus, the walls are thick,” I said through gritted teeth. I felt as if I was the criminal.

  “And you didn’t hear anything? Sorry, what was your name again?”

  “Jack Chandler. I was in the shower and didn’t hear anything.”

  “So I assume Ms. Cruz came to you for help?”

  “No, sir. I did hear her down here after my shower and came to investigate.”

  Officer Doody frowned and then said, “We’ll dust for fingerprints, but it’ll be moot now with a contaminated crime scene. We’ll look for prints along the points of entry, though.” He seemed overly dramatic in my opinion. “Can you have a seat and tell me who you think did this?”

  Why did he assume I knew who did it? Wasn’t that his job to find out? People break into places all the time. It could just be a random act. The pudgy one commenced gathering evidence. It looked as if he was doing a half-assed job of collecting it from my perspective.

  I parked my rear in the leather chair while Doody hovered over me, drilling me for information I wasn’t willing to provide.

  “You have no idea who did this or why?” By the arched eyebrows, I assumed he didn’t believe me.

  Jack approached and instantly took away my option of lying about Lily. Silence loomed.

  “There might be one client who isn’t all that pleased with me at the moment.”

  My shoes suddenly became extremely fascinating. Staring at them was better than looking at Officer Howdy-Doody--or Jack.

  “All right. Can you write down everything that’s going on for me? Give me as many details as you can. I want names and addresses. Don’t leave out anything.”

  “Yes, sir.” I saluted half-heartedly behind his back. Maybe I’d give them the wrong number for Lily. I didn’t want her to go to jail or anything.

  When she discovered I called the cops, she’d probably make things even worse for me. I still wasn’t convinced she meant me any real bodily harm, although I was going to make her pay for any damages. And replace my figurines.

  After Doody questioned me like a common criminal, he turned and swaggered away. I watched as he moved into the hallway outside and spoke to Jack. I couldn’t hear what they said.

  Officer McDonnell wrapped up his little CSI project and said, “Call if you need us.” He paused, looked me up and down, then pivoted and marched out. Not sure what that was all about. Leave it to me to get the worst policemen on the force.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled dryly. The uniforms skedaddled and I was left with cleaning up the mess. The bastards had destroyed my damn figurines. Breathe in. Breathe out. I’d been collecting the knickknacks since I was sixteen, and now most of them were smashed into tiny pieces scattered about the floor. The only thing getting me through the moment was the fact Jack was still there and had given me the best kiss of my life moments earlier. Just when I didn’t think he could make me feel even better, he did. I still felt flushed from it.

  “Let me help you clean up. It’s too much to handle by yourself.” Jack stood in the doorway, his beautiful blue eyes shimmering in the dim light. He’d finished discussing my little snafu with the police. I wondered what he’d told them. Of course I didn’t offer a lot of details about Lily in my verbal statement. And, needless to say, I couldn’t tell them about the werewolves. If they found the person responsible, I’d be happy, but I’d lay odds they wouldn’t uncover the culprit.

  “You don’t have to do that. You have to work tomorrow and need to get some sleep. I’ll be fine, really. It’s not as bad as it looks,” I
said as I flipped over a small table.

  “I’m not sure how much sleep I’ll get after all the commotion. Also I need to listen and make sure no one comes back.”

  “Are you kidding me? I can’t let you do that. Besides, I doubt they’ll return to the scene of the crime tonight.” I never intended to drag Jack into the craziness I call life. Now he felt as if he needed to be my watchdog. “I’ve already decided I’ll have a security system installed tomorrow.”

  “It’s an excellent idea. I’m glad you said that. As a matter-of-fact, I was going to suggest it. In your apartment too?”

  “Yes, in the apartment too,” I reassured him.

  He moved closer, kissed me lightly on the lips, lingered for a moment and said, “Let’s clean this mess up then. What do you want me to do?”

  “Well, I keep a broom and dustpan in that closet over there.” I wiggled my eyebrows, hoping he’d take the hint that I wanted him to sweep. I hate sweeping with a passion.

  Jack sauntered over to grab the broom--he looked so delish in his jeans I practically drooled--and I felt relieved. Not just because I hate sweeping, but also because I didn’t want him perusing the files as he picked them up. Jack began rescuing pieces of my figurines while I stuffed all the documents securely away in the filing cabinet away from prying eyes. He watched a few seconds as I hurried the files away.

  “Tell me about these porcelain figures.” He picked up the head of an elephant.

  “They’re not worth anything. Sentimental value to me, really. I started collecting them when I was sixteen. It started with that frog over there, and it’s grown over the years with friends and family members giving them to me.”

  “Maybe we can repair them. I think they’re salvageable.” He held another one in his hands. Its arms were broken off--it was one of my favorites, a monkey.

  “I’m not so sure that’s possible.” I shrugged. “I’m terrible with glue. I always end up with my fingers stuck together.”

  He chuckled. “How about you let me take a stab at repairing them? I’ll test my skills and see if I’m any better. Let me grab a box from my office to collect them in. I’ll be right back.” Jack disappeared around the corner and I surveyed the room. Most of the mess was gone. The only thing left were the window shades that were torn and lying in a crumpled mess on the floor. I’d have to buy new ones tomorrow.

  “Got it. I’m just going to put all of the figurines in here and see what I can do to mend them. They’ll be safe with me, don’t worry.” He gently placed the pieces in the box.

  “Do you have tiny little bandages for them?”

  “I can make some.” He smiled comfortingly.

  My head swirled thinking about the comments Jack had made earlier. He couldn’t resist me. In spite of thinking my life was crazy after our ghost tour, he couldn’t fight his feelings for me. I really didn’t know what to think. I thought he’d never speak to me again, and the next thing I knew he kissed me. Although, now that he’d seen the files, he might have changed his mind yet again.

  “Thank you for everything.” Suddenly my voice sounded shy.

  “You’re welcome. Now go get some rest. And promise me you’ll never come down here alone if you hear something again. I’m right next door, remember? Come and get me first.” Would he offer help if he knew my werewolf status?

  Jack kissed me ever so lightly on the lips and then guided me back up the stairs to my apartment door. I couldn’t help but feel his kiss had cooled after reading my papers. But then again, he didn’t run away as if I were nuts, he’d stayed around to help clean up and offered to repair my figurines. So maybe I jumped to conclusions.

  “You could have been killed,” he warned.

  “I’ll never do it again, I promise.” I said it, but I wasn’t sure it was a promise I could keep.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  I offered a wave and closed the door. I could smell his scent in his wake.

  As I made my way across the hallway, this time making sure to feel for walls, Jennifer popped her head from the door of her bedroom. “What’s going on?” she asked sleepily.

  “Someone broke into my office. Messed everything up. They even broke my figurines.”

  “You’re kidding. Lily?”

  “I guess.” I shrugged. “Everything is just so strange lately. Between the people looking for Ernie, Lily and the strange wolves attacking me, I don’t know what to think anymore.” I didn’t tell her about the latest attack. It was too late to describe the abhorrent details. I felt on the cusp of a nervous breakdown.

  “So what happened with the office? Why didn’t you wake me?”

  “Everything happened so quickly I didn’t have a chance. I heard noises coming from downstairs, so I jumped from bed and ran down there. Jack heard it and helped me. He called the police.”

  Jennifer’s mouth formed a fanatical smile. “That explains why you didn’t wake me.”

  “That’s not the reason, and stop smiling at me like that.” I gave her a lopsided grin.

  “Whatever you say. Tell me. What did Jack think about it? He must have been surprised.”

  “Not much, really. Surprisingly he didn’t offer medication, or hospitalization. Considering the other things going on around me, I’m shocked he didn’t. He saw papers on my desk with the words werewolf and vampire.”

  “What? And he didn’t say anything about it?”

  “I made up a silly story about the words being my code.”

  Jennifer swayed slightly as if she might faint. “That’s not good.”

  “Easy, girl, everything is fine. If it’ll make you feel better, he did mention he can’t resist me.” Adding the last part nonchalantly was a lot of fun. I’d have her salivating for details in no time.

  “What? Oh my God. Well, that’s wonderful. So he believed the crazy story? I knew he was really into you. I could tell by the way he looks at you. What happened? Tell me every single detail.” She yanked me over for a hug. Her hair smelled like strawberries.

  “Breathe, Jennifer. Breathe.”

  She waved a hand, telling me to get on with it.

  “He kissed me. And his hands went places... His butt is fabuloso, by the way. He told me he couldn’t resist me... Oh wait. I already mentioned that part, didn’t I?”

  Jennifer practically swooned.

  “Anyway, enough about that right now. I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed.”

  “And Jack isn’t joining you?” she singsonged.

  “Not yet. I’m not rushing anything.” Like the curse.

  “So what did the police say? Do they know about Lily and the werewolves?”

  “Nada. Nothing. They asked me if I had enemies. I mentioned Lily. They half-ass dusted for fingerprints. Said they’d be in touch. Blah, blah, blah. Since nothing seemed to be missing, I doubt I’ll ever hear from them again. Tomorrow I’m having a security alarm installed in the office and in here too. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Oh no. Does that mean I’ll have to remember a code or something?”

  “Yes, or something.”

  “I’m not good with codes.”

  “So I’ve heard. But it’s for our safety.” I stretched and let out a yawn. “I’m really tired. I’ve gotta get some sleep.”

  “Goodnight.” Jennifer paused at her door. “Rylie, do you think we’re safe here?”

  The knowledge of what I put her through made me ill. I turned to study her and offered reassurance. “Yeah, Lily is just messing around, that’s all. It’ll blow over soon enough.”

  Jennifer arched her brow hesitantly. “All right. I’ll take your word for it. I hope you’re right.”

  “Goodnight.”

  “Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” Jennifer sang.

  I closed the door, slipped off my clothes and jumped into bed. Snuggling down under the sheets, I stared at the ceiling. In the distance I picked up a wolf howl. I wondered if anyone ever questioned how he or she could hear a wolf baying in the middle of the
city. Then again, they probably thought it was one of the many revelers on the streets. The talk of werewolves had always just been gossip fodder around these parts. What with the tourists and all.

  * * * *

  I woke up the next morning to the sound of Jennifer stirring in the kitchen. My stomach rumbled and the leftover steak in the fridge flashed through my mind. Yum. Steak and eggs for breakfast. If today was anything like yesterday, I would need the energy a juicy piece of steak could provide.

  As I slipped into the kitchen, I caught a whiff of freshly brewed coffee. I hoped the aroma would wake my senses. Jennifer spotted me and immediately folded her arms in front of her chest and said, “I’ve been thinking...”

  “Oh no.” I couldn’t handle hearing her wild ideas this early. Her wacky ramblings were too complicated to start the day with. What could it be this time?

  Chapter 13

  How to Date a Werewolf Rule #13:

  Don’t suggest eating meat off the bone.

  Jennifer munched on a bowl of cereal, slurping the last bit of milk from her spoon. When the utensil had been licked clean, she tipped the bowl to her mouth and gulped down the remainder of the milk. She looked like a stray cat that hadn’t eaten in days.

  “Hungry much?” Mouth full, she didn’t answer, so I continued, “I would ask what you’ve been thinking about, but I’m sure you’ll tell me regardless if I ask or not. So…”

  Placing the bowl on the table and wiping the drops of creamy liquid from her mouth, she said, “You really need to do some research into this whole curse thing.”

  She used air quotes for the word curse. She knew how to push my buttons lately.

  “I have tons of questions like: where did this magic spell come from? Who performed it? And can it really be reversed?” Her eyes fixed on mine, hopeful and waiting.

  I pulled a pan from the rack above the stove. “Jen, I’ve told you everything I know.”

  “That’s my point. You don’t know anything. Some crazed woman who claimed to be a gypsy witch cursed your ancestors. What the hell? That’s it? All you have to go on is some wild story. You have to admit it sounds a little bit crazy. Can’t your mother tell us more? Somewhere in the back of her mind there might be snippets of info she forgot.”