Dangerous Reality

by Malorie Blackman

  ‘But it doesn’t look like it’s been down there for years and years.’ I shook my head. ‘It’s not a skeleton.’

  ‘The dry, airless conditions down there have more or less mummified it,’ Rayner said. ‘Once we get it out it shouldn’t be too difficult to identify.’

  Rayner went over to the nearest phone and pressed 999. Mum and I watched in silence as he asked for the police.

  ‘Hello? This is Rayner Alten from the BFC Power plant on the Preston Way. We just discovered a body in one of our underground pipes … Yes, that’s right … Yes … No, it’s on one of our monitors. That’s right … OK.’ Rayner put down the phone. ‘They’re sending someone right over.’

  The door to the Operating Room opened, making us all jump. Dad walked in, only to stop in his tracks when he saw all our faces.

  ‘What’s the matter?’

  ‘Oh, Jack, look!’ Mum said, distressed. ‘Look what VIMS found.’

  Jack walked slowly into the room and up to the monitor. He stared and stared at it, never turning his head.

  ‘How did that woman get down there?’ I asked.

  ‘I can only think that she was put in the pipes the day before they were sealed and covered over. That means it had to be someone who worked here at BFC or someone who worked for the construction company. It had to be someone who knew the construction schedule,’ Rayner mused.

  ‘Or it might’ve been someone who dumped the body there and then was just lucky,’ I said.

  ‘Well, there’s no point in speculating. The police will be here soon and then I’ll turn the whole matter over to them.’

  A body. I still couldn’t believe it. An Antarctic chill went trickling down my back.

  ‘Jack …’

  The note of horror and intense pain in Mum’s voice had my head whipping round. Mum and Jack were looking at each other. Mum had tears trickling down her face and Jack looked so, so sad. They regarded each other as if they were the last two people in the world. The rest of us had ceased to exist.

  ‘Tell me I’m wrong,’ Mum begged.

  Jack didn’t answer.

  ‘Jack, please tell me I’m wrong.’

  Frowning, I tried to work out what was going on.

  ‘It’s Alison, isn’t it?’ Mum’s voice was the merest whisper.

  ‘Who’s Alison?’ I asked. And then it clicked. ‘You mean Alison, Dad’s first wife?’

  Dad didn’t take his eyes off Mum.

  ‘Shall I get VIMS to turn over the body so we can see her face?’ Mum whispered.

  Dad shook his head. ‘It’s her. It’s Alison’s body down there in the pipe.’

  ‘Oh, Jack …’

  ‘Carol, I didn’t kill her. I mean, I didn’t murder her. It was an accident. I was up on the scaffold tower working late. She came up to see me and we started arguing. That was all we ever did. I didn’t want another hateful, hurtful argument and I told her so. I told her I wanted a divorce and she flew at me. She started punching and slapping and I lost my temper and pushed her.’ Jack buried his head in his hands. ‘I didn’t hit her, I swear. I just pushed her. She staggered backwards and fell off the scaffolding. By the time I’d got down to the ground, she was dead and I … I just panicked.’

  ‘So you hid her body down in the pipes, knowing they were due to be sealed the following day,’ said Rayner. ‘And all this time you got away with it.’

  ‘Got away with it? I don’t think so,’ Dad said bitterly. ‘If you’d had my nightmares over the last eight years, then you wouldn’t accuse me of getting away with anything.’

  ‘But that can’t be Alison.’ What were they all talking about? Everyone had gone mad except me. ‘Alison is living in Australia. You said so.’

  Only then did Dad turn to me. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. It was all in his eyes.

  ‘I don’t understand.’ The words were a shocked whisper. ‘Why wasn’t the body found years ago, even after the pipes had been sealed?’

  ‘We only started using the mechanical pigs a month ago,’ Rayner said slowly. He was working it out as he spoke. ‘The pigs in this section of the pipes must’ve repeatedly disturbed the body. That’s why they kept reporting problems, because Alison’s body was causing an obstruction.’

  ‘That’s why you didn’t want me to let Rayner use VIMS,’ Mum realized. ‘You knew what the problem here was all along.’

  Jack bowed his head, no longer able to look at Mum.

  ‘Jack, was it you who sabotaged VIMS to make sure Rayner wouldn’t get it?’ Mum asked quietly.

  ‘Yes. The two of us …’ He looked at me. ‘The three of us were happy. I was desperate to make sure nothing changed that. I care about the two of you very much.’

  ‘But VIMS knocked Mum off the stage,’ I flared at him. ‘If you care so much about Mum, how could you let VIMS do that?’

  And in that moment, I almost hated him.

  ‘Dominic, that was never meant to happen. You have to believe me. I swear VIMS was never meant to hurt anyone – especially not Carol. I changed VIMS’ software so that he’d fail the demo to the suits and uniforms. It was the only way I could make sure that he wasn’t lent to Rayner. I wanted to get rid of all the changes I’d made to VIMS’ system, but your mum locked everyone out so I no longer had access to his programming,’ Jack said, anguished. ‘I couldn’t change the software back in time. I never, ever wanted him to hurt Carol.’

  But VIMS had hurt Mum. And all because Jack was so busy trying to hide what he’d done in the past that he didn’t think about the consequences of what he was doing in the present. Each lie had led to another. Every attempt to hide the truth had backfired. Jack wasn’t going to get off that easily.

  ‘Mum’s accident was still your fault. You’re the one who … who …’ I stared at Jack as something else occurred to me. ‘It was you. You were the one who sent VIMS after me last night.’

  ‘What’s this?’ Mum asked, startled.

  ‘That’s why VIMS was in our house, Mum,’ I told her. ‘He crashed through the window in your work room and came after me.’

  ‘You sent VIMS after my son?’

  ‘I …’

  Mum flew out of her chair. ‘YOU SENT VIMS AFTER DOMINIC?’

  ‘I think I went a little mad.’ Jack groaned. ‘I changed his programming from Julie’s account at Desica. It only took me a couple of minutes to come to my senses, but by then Dominic had used his VIMS password to lock me out. I couldn’t delete the command. So I drove like a demon to get to the house before VIMS did.’

  ‘You tried to hurt my son?’ said Mum, appalled, her eyes aflame.

  Jack shook his head but he didn’t say a word. He couldn’t. Mum’s expression began to set as she stared at Jack. Strangely enough, in that moment, my own anger dropped away.

  ‘No, Mum,’ I said slowly. ‘Dad saved my life. He made VIMS come after him instead. He saved my life.’

  ‘Jack, where were you this morning?’ Mum asked.

  ‘At Desica,’ Jack replied.

  ‘Still trying to cover your tracks.’ It wasn’t a question.

  Mum and Jack regarded each other. It’s strange to think you can have a deathly hush in a machine room full of noise, but we did. No one spoke for a good few minutes. Finally Jack looked down at the ground. Mum didn’t take her eyes off him. I couldn’t figure out what she was thinking. Her face was a mask.

  ‘What happens now?’ Jack asked at last.

  ‘Couldn’t we …’ somehow …’ I began.

  ‘I’ve already called the police,’ Rayner reminded us all. ‘They’ll be here any moment.’

  ‘Then it’s over.’ Jack sighed. His whole body slumped as he put his head in his hands.

  Mum walked over to him and took his hands away from his face. Jack’s hands dropped to his side. Mum looked into his eyes as if searching for something and Jack didn’t look away, although it looked as if it took all his will power not to do so.

  ‘Oh, Jack …’ Mum whispered.r />
  ‘I …’

  Mum shook her head, interrupting him. ‘Don’t say anything.’

  Jack’s lips clamped together. Then Mum took Jack’s hands in her own, and a moment later they were hugging each other tight. I walked over to Mum and … and Dad and they both hugged me too.

  And behind us, I heard the door open. The police had arrived.

  Chapter Twenty

  Endings and Beginnings

  SO THAT’S PRETTY much it really. The police arrested Dad and formally charged him. Mum and I were taken to the police station as well. Rayner told us later that with VIMS’ help, Alison’s body was brought to the surface. I kept thinking, hoping, praying that it was all a mistake, a misunderstanding. I think a part of me really believed that, until VIMS brought Alison’s body to the surface. Then there could be no doubt.

  And after that it’s just a kaleidoscope of images. Faces, mainly. The police, Liam, my teacher, Pops, even some reporters who tried to get an interview. I didn’t realize it at the time, but initially, the police thought Mum was somehow involved in Alison’s death. Mum had to go down to the police station over and over again to make statement after statement. And I didn’t get to see Jack until the trial. That was one of the worst things about the whole business.

  The trial was horrible. The prosecutor kept trying to persuade the jury that Dad was guilty of murder not manslaughter. He kept bringing in the fact that Dad had sent VIMS after me. I think the fact that Mum and I stuck by him, plus the fact that he saved my life, managed to convince them that Dad wasn’t a murderer. When the jury came back into the court after retiring to consider their verdict, it felt like my heart was revving up until it must surely take off out of my body. I crossed my fingers, willing the foreman to say the right thing.

  ‘On the charge of murder, do you, the jury, find the defendant, Jack Brickhill, guilty or not guilty?’

  ‘Not guilty.’

  My heart stopped. My breathing stopped. I crossed my fingers tighter.

  ‘On the charge of manslaughter, do you, the jury, find the defendant, Jack Brickhill, guilty or not guilty?’

  The foreman seemed to take for ever to answer. But at last his answer came.

  ‘Guilty.’

  ‘No …’ The whisper came out of me in a rush. They couldn’t find Jack guilty. It was an accident. He told them it was an accident. How could they find him guilty? ‘Mum …’

  ‘Shush.’

  We listened to the judge sum up. He spouted on about how even though the jury had found the death of Alison Brickhill to be an accident and involuntary manslaughter, the fact that Jack had covered it up for all these years did not help his case. Pops put his arm around my shoulder. I didn’t realize why until tears splashed onto my hands lying in my lap.

  The judge sentenced Jack to five years in prison.

  And as Jack was being led away, he looked up at us. I wasn’t the only one crying. Mum wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. We left the court room in a daze. D’you know, I don’t remember the next couple of days after that, I really don’t. I think my mind just switched off or shut down or something. I just kept re-living the whole last day in court, over and over.

  And blaming myself. Blaming myself for sneaking into Desica for a glimpse at VIMS. Blaming myself for not leaving well enough alone and forcing Jack into thinking he had to get rid of me. Blaming myself for asking Rayner if I could bring VIMS to his power plant.

  With Mum’s help and a lot of time, I now realize that it was Dad’s actions, not mine, that had led to their inevitable conclusion. I didn’t really believe that. Not really. Not until Mum showed me one of the letters Dad had written to her.

  Dearest Carol,

  I don’t know what to write, what to say to you and Dominic. I’ve let both of you down so badly. I want you to know, you can’t hate me any more than I hate myself. I keep looking back to that night and wondering what I could and should’ve done differently. There has to be something. I should’ve gone down to the ground to meet Alison, instead of insisting that she came up to me. I could’ve picked a better time to tell her that I wanted a divorce, instead of just blurting it out in a fit of temper.

  I’m not making excuses. All these years I’ve been living half a life. I’ve always known that somewhere, somehow, my past would catch up with me. It’s just the bitter timing that I resent. Does Dominic hate me? I hope not. I made a dreadful, dreadful mistake, then made things worse by not facing up to what I’d done. I hope that some day you and Dominic can find it in your hearts to forgive me. I know this is asking a lot but I need to know where I stand with you.

  Will you wait for me? Can we carry on from where we left off when I come out of prison, with no more secrets between us? Do you still love me? You can write back with just one word. Yes or no. If it’s no, I’ll understand.

  All my love for ever,

  Jack.

  ‘What did you write back and tell him?’ I asked.

  ‘I haven’t written back yet,’ said Mum.

  ‘Are you going to?’

  At first, I thought that Mum wasn’t going to answer me. ‘I have to give him an answer – one way or another.’

  ‘What will your answer be?’ I asked.

  ‘What d’you think it should be?’

  ‘You still love him, don’t you?’

  Silence stretched out between us like boundless elastic.

  ‘Yes,’ Mum said at last.

  ‘Well,’ I said carefully. ‘There’s your answer then.’

  Mum took the letter out of my hands and stared at it for several moments. Then she walked into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

  I’ve had a lot of time to think, over the year that Dad’s been in prison. Why do I still call him Dad? Because that’s how I think of him – in spite of everything that’s happened. He’s still my dad. VIMS was an ‘it’, then a ‘him’, then an ‘it’ again. But it doesn’t work that way with people. It doesn’t work that way when thoughts and feelings and hopes and fears come into the picture – and maybe that’s just as well.

  Mum and I are hoping that Dad will be out of prison in another two years, with time off for good behaviour. And as soon as he comes out, he and Mum are planning to get married straight away. I can’t wait. We visit Dad once a month but it’s not enough. Not really. I miss him every day. But however much I miss him, I know Mum misses him more. Sometimes, in the early hours of the morning, when the house is still, I can hear Mum crying. I want to go to her and tell her everything will be OK. That Dad will be out soon. But I know that that would just make her feel worse. So I lie in my bed, waiting for her to stop crying so that I can then drift off back to sleep.

  And what has this whole thing taught me? Well, for a start I now realize that sometimes things just happen and there’s nothing you can do about it. I’ve stopped beating myself up over the fact that Matt Viner is no longer my friend. That’s just the way it is. And I’ve stopped wasting my days thinking, What if …? and, If only …’I don’t blame myself any more – well, not all the time at any rate. So that’s progress.

  Mum asked to be transferred onto another project and Desica were more than happy to oblige. When VIMS finally went live – which it did two months ago – Julie Resnick got all the publicity and the credit. But VIMS is – was – my mum’s idea, my mum’s creation. But Mum wanted nothing more to do with it after Dad went to prison. So I guess if Mum doesn’t mind about Julie getting all the glory, then neither should I.

  Did I mention, Liam has been terrific? I thought that maybe he’d prefer not to talk to me or something, or maybe he’d be too embarrassed, but he’s been one hundred per cent beside me. In fact most people have been really kind about it. Matt Vinyl wasn’t, but then I never expected anything else. He still tries to push me around, but less frequently these days. I think it’s because I’m not scared of him any more. Do you want to hear something strange? It was only when I realized that I was no longer scared of him that I realized why I had b
een scared of him in the past. I wasn’t scared that he’d duff me up or anything like that. But I was scared because he wasn’t my friend any more. Scared because I didn’t know why. Scared because I was blaming my limp and my mum for being a bit famous and a whole load of other nonsense reasons. It wasn’t my fault – at least not all my fault. All Matt had to say was, ‘Dominic, stop going on about your mum.’ And I would’ve shut up. They say that if you show fear to a dog they can sense it. But if you are fearless then most of the time they’ll back down. I think it’s a bit like that with me and Matt. We’ll never be friends again – but that’s just the way it is. Onwards and upwards.

  Dad will be out of prison soon. Whenever I feel a bit down, I just hold onto that thought. Dad will be out of prison soon and we’ll all be together for ever. And we’ll be a real family. How do I know all that? Easy. Because we’ve survived this far and we still all care about each other. So if we can make it through all these bad times, how can there be anything left but good times ahead?

  About the Author

  Malorie Blackman is one of today’s most imaginative and convincing writers for young readers. She has won numerous awards for her books, including the Red House Children’s Book Award and the Fantastic Fiction Award, and has been shortlisted for the Carnegie Medal. Noughts & Crosses has been adapted for the stage by the Royal Shakespeare Company, and is soon to be a graphic novel.

  In 2005 Malorie was honoured with the Eleanor Farjeon Award in recognition of her contribution to the world of children’s books, and in 2008 she received an OBE for her services to children’s literature. She has been described by The Times as ‘a national treasure’. Malorie Blackman is the Children’s Laureate 2013–2015.

  Praise for Malorie Blackman:

  Noughts & Crosses

  ‘A book which will linger in the mind long after it has been read’

  Observer

  Knife Edge

  ‘A powerful story of race and prejudice’ Sunday Times

  Checkmate

  ‘Another emotional hard-hitter …