The Greatest Gift

by Rachael Johns

  ‘I’ll think I’ll manage.’

  Claire glanced at her husband to see he’d turned a bright shade of red. Not much embarrassed Jasper, so she couldn’t help but laugh.

  ‘I’m sure you will,’ the doctor replied and then started to explain the physical process they were about to begin, the genetic screening and tests Harper would have to undergo.

  ‘Once we’ve deemed Harper a suitable candidate for donor, the next step is synchronising your menstrual cycles. This involves some hormone treatment for you and nasal sprays and injections of follicle stimulant hormone for Harper.’

  Claire glanced over at Harper and saw that her normally radiant skin had turned slightly green at the mention of needles. She wished she could take the pain for this generous woman or at least pay her for her efforts. It felt wrong to be taking something so big and not giving anything back.

  Yet at the same time, what price could you put on a child?

  ‘Now.’ Dr Ballantine straightened in his chair and planted his hands on his desk to help him stand. ‘Let’s get this party started. Harper, if you could jump up on my examination table over there so we can take a little squiz at your ovaries.’

  ‘Sure.’ Harper followed him to the other side of his office.

  She climbed up onto the table and Claire and Jasper looked at each other with relief when the doctor pulled a curtain to block their view. He might only be examining Harper’s abdomen, but an ultrasound felt like an intimate thing and it was a little weird being in the room while a woman who’d been a complete stranger to them until a few weeks ago had one.

  They sat silently, holding hands and staring at the surrounding baby photos as they listened for news from behind the curtain.

  Harper squealed. ‘Ouch, that’s cold.’

  ‘Sorry.’ The doctor chuckled. ‘Even after all these years I forget to warn my patients about that.’

  There were a few long moments of silence and Claire held her breath waiting for something else. This was more nerve-wracking than anything she’d ever experienced—what if he found something wrong with Harper? What if, like Claire, she had no eggs?

  ‘Won’t be long and you’ll be on that table having an ultrasound,’ Jasper whispered, leaning close.

  Wow. She allowed herself a tiny smile at that thought. For so long she’d resigned herself to the fact that she’d never have a pregnant belly to be examined. Could she dare to hope their dreams of a family might actually come true?

  Then Dr Ballantine’s voice broke into her fantasy. ‘What a star! Nice healthy egg follicles. From the looks of things, she’s the perfect candidate, folks.’

  Claire let out the breath she’d been holding and wrapped her arms around her husband. This wasn’t the way she’d like to have a baby with him—but it was the only way and she couldn’t be happier right now.

  The doctor reappeared a few moments later, his grin broader than ever.

  ‘Now, we’ve got some paperwork to fill out—your medical histories, etcetera—and then I’ll be sending you off to pathology.’

  Harper appeared again, looking pretty damn pleased with herself, and Jasper gave her a thumbs up. Claire felt a pinch of jealousy at the knowledge that this woman could do something for her husband which she could not, but she quickly forced that feeling aside. She needed to stay positive. And focused.

  If everything went according to plan, then in the not-too-distant future she and Jasper would have the baby they craved. And, when that little bundle was placed into her arms, Claire knew it wouldn’t matter where he or she had got their start.

  Chapter Thirteen

  NOVEMBER 2016

  Harper lifted her pyjama top, positioned the needle, closed her eyes and held her breath as she plunged it into her flesh. Today was the seventh day she’d done this and she still broke out in a sweat every single time.

  As she was putting away the injection kit, Samuel appeared from their ensuite, a fluffy white towel wrapped around his torso. ‘Been shooting up again?’ he asked, with a chuckle.

  ‘It’s not funny. It hurts,’ she said, although truthfully the anticipation was worse than the actual act.

  ‘If it’s that bad, don’t do it.’ He dropped his towel to the floor and began to get dressed for work.

  Harper let out a frustrated sigh. After a week of this, she should have known better than to say anything. The first time she’d brought out the kit, Samuel had watched as she’d tried to garner the courage to perform the injection. Dr Ballantine had suggested that if she was squeamish, she could get her husband to do the honours but Samuel scoffed at that.

  ‘Do I look like a doctor? I can barely watch, never mind inflict it on you. I think you’re insane to be putting yourself through all this.’

  But he hadn’t met Claire and Jasper—he didn’t know what wonderful people they were and how grateful they felt towards her—so she’d swallowed her fear and done the deed herself. All her life she’d been driven to succeed and this was no different. She wanted to see this process through to the end and for Claire and Jasper to have a healthy baby to show for all her efforts. Then she could get on with her life with the knowledge she’d done something that made a difference, even if only on a small scale.

  ‘Do you think you might finish in court today?’ she asked, deliberately changing the subject. All week Samuel had been defending a high school teacher accused of having a relationship with a student.

  ‘Hope so,’ he said, pulling on his expensive navy trousers. ‘We’ve got the firm’s Christmas party tonight and it would be good to walk into that with a win on my hands to impress the partners.’

  She had to bite her tongue to stop herself groaning out loud. With everything else going on, she’d totally forgotten that this event had crept up on them. She’d been planning on spending the whole weekend on the couch watching Netflix. It wasn’t that she minded Samuel’s work parties—they weren’t frequent and were usually held at swanky restaurants. Expensive champagne would flow and she usually enjoyed listening to his colleagues, but tonight she wouldn’t be able to drink a drop.

  Dr Ballantine had been right—the process of preparing her body for egg retrieval had been harder than she’d anticipated. It wasn’t just the daily injections. From the moment she woke up in the morning to when her head hit the pillow again at night, the responsibility of what she was doing weighed heavy on her mind. She thought more carefully than ever about what she put into her body and suddenly started seeing dangers she’d never noticed before as she walked down the street.

  ‘Fingers crossed,’ Harper said, injecting enthusiasm she didn’t feel into her voice. ‘What time does it start again?’

  ‘Eight o’clock.’ He sat on the edge of the bed to pull on his socks. ‘Who are you interviewing today?’

  ‘Um …’ For a moment, she couldn’t find the name of her guest anywhere in her head. All she could think about was the ultrasound she had coming up this morning to see how her egg follicles were going.

  Samuel glanced up and she noticed his socks didn’t match. She quirked a smile as the answer to his question came to her. ‘A doctor who specialises in obsessive-compulsive disorder. Lilia found her. Apparently she’s trialling a new type of therapy.’

  ‘Fascinating. Is she going to use Lil as a guinea pig?’

  Harper laughed. ‘I think she plans on listening very carefully and self-medicating.’ Everyone at the station teased Lilia about having OCD and although Harper didn’t believe she did—she just liked her clothes to match and everything around her to be neat and tidy—her friend herself was starting to get a little paranoid that maybe she did have a problem. ‘Are you all finished with the bathroom now?’

  ‘Yep.’ Samuel nodded as he went over to select a tie, leaving his wet towel on the tiles. Sometimes she wished the two of them had OCD. ‘It’s all yours.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Harper stood. ‘Do you want me to meet you at the restaurant tonight or will you be home in time for us to go together?’
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br />   ‘Not sure yet. I’ll text you. Have a great day.’ And then, knotting his silver tie as he walked, he headed out of the bedroom.

  Harper took her time in the shower, letting the hot water gush over her belly in an effort to try to ease the slight bloating feeling. She ran her hand over the tiny mound that had grown over the last few days. If she didn’t know any better, she’d think she was pregnant. Screwing up her nose at that thought, she wrenched off the taps and then went back into the bedroom to get ready.

  Her usual morning routine consisted of coffee and a pastry at her local café while she read the papers and caught up with the news and current affairs. But since the go ahead she’d been abstaining from caffeine, so today she bypassed the café and headed straight to the fertility clinic for her scan.

  ‘Good morning.’ Dr Ballantine greeted her with his usual cheerful grin. ‘I listened to your show for the first time last night. My wife’s got me onto podcasts and I’ve subscribed to yours.’

  ‘I hope you enjoyed it,’ Harper said, feeling weirdly nervous.

  ‘Immensely.’ He indicated she hop up onto the table. ‘I had to drive around the block a couple of times when I got home so I could hear the end of it before heading inside.’

  ‘I’d love to interview you one day about all the different things you do here,’ she said, leaning back and lifting up her work blouse. ‘Would you be interested in that?’

  The doctor turned a bright shade of red. ‘I would love that.’

  ‘Great. I’ll get my producer to call and set up a time.’

  ‘Splendid. Now, let’s take a look at those lovely ovaries of yours.’ He lifted the tube of lubricant and squeezed a dollop over her stomach.

  Again, she flinched at the coolness. Or, at least that’s what she put it down to, but the truth was every time a doctor touched her stomach, it reminded her of another time. A time she’d spent over a decade trying to forget.

  ‘Any problems with the medication?’ he asked.

  She swallowed. ‘No. But I’ll be glad when the injections are over.’

  Dr Ballantine chuckled, then his expression turned serious as he touched the wand against her lower abdomen. He turned his head to look at the screen beside them and Harper held her breath as she followed his gaze, not sure what to expect.

  ‘Excellent, excellent,’ he said after a few moments. ‘I think you were born to do this.’

  ‘Really?’ She couldn’t hide her surprise—although quickly told herself that the doctor meant she was physically suitable for the job. Actually being a mum was a whole other thing.

  ‘Yes.’ He nodded. ‘There’s a good number of follicles here and if things keep developing at this rate, I’d say we might be able to schedule the retrieval for next Tuesday.’

  ‘That’s great,’ she said, pushing her other thoughts aside and trying to recall who they were scheduled to interview on Tuesday. Hopefully their guest would be open to doing a pre-record because she had to go under general anaesthetic for the procedure and wouldn’t be able to work that day.

  ‘Right then.’ Dr Ballantine handed her a paper towel to wipe her stomach. ‘We’ll do another scan on Monday to be sure, but we’ll plan for Tuesday.’

  Harper could barely contain her excitement as she climbed off the table and said goodbye to the doctor. Although she knew the clinic would be calling Claire and Jasper to book them in for Tuesday as well, she wanted to deliver the good news, so the moment she stepped out of the building she brought up Claire on her phone.

  ‘Hi Harper,’ Claire answered after a few rings. ‘How are you?’

  ‘I’m full of egg follicles!’

  Claire laughed. ‘Did you just have your scan?’

  ‘Yep—and Dr Ballantine reckons we’ll be ready for the procedure on Tuesday.’

  ‘Oh my God! This is really gonna happen?’ She could hear the mixture of excitement, fear and shock in Claire’s voice.

  ‘It looks like it. The clinic will be calling you soon to make the appointment, but I wanted you guys to know right away.’

  ‘Thank you. Thank you so much.’ There was a moment of silence on the line. ‘For everything.’

  Harper grinned. ‘Don’t thank me yet, but you’re absolutely welcome. I’ll see you next week.’

  They disconnected so that Claire could go tell Jasper, and Harper tried to switch focus from the follicle excitement to her day job, but when she got to the office, she still couldn’t wipe the smile from her face.

  ‘You look like the cat that got the canary,’ Lilia said, pushing her glasses up onto her head. ‘Did the scan go well then?’

  Harper nodded as she dumped her handbag onto the floor and flopped into her swivel chair, resisting the urge to spin around like an excited child. ‘Really well. Which means I need next Tuesday off. Is that going to be a problem?’

  Lilia turned to her screen and flicked to next week’s schedule. ‘Oh dear, you’re interviewing that debut thriller author from Perth who hit the New York Times bestseller lists. Apparently she’s a total diva.’

  ‘Well, tell the diva’s publicist that if she wants an interview, she can do a pre-record on Monday.’ An appearance on Afternoons with Harper was sought after enough that the publicist would likely advise the author to accept this offer, and if she didn’t, well, they had plenty of other hopeful guests to call on. Harper could ask Dr Ballantine or even Jasper to fill the spot.

  ‘I’ll see what I can do. But don’t you worry about it. I’ll mark you as sick for Tuesday. Will you need Wednesday as well?’

  Harper shook her head. The doctor had advised her that she might be a little tender after the egg retrieval but that’s what painkillers were for.

  ‘Did you get to see the spunky husband today?’ Lilia asked, her eyes gleaming.

  Harper laughed. When she’d first shown her friend the photo of Claire and Jasper, Lil had been unable to take her eyes off him. She was gutted to hear he didn’t have a brother and Harper couldn’t blame her. Jasper looked like he’d stepped right off the page of a fireman charity calendar.

  ‘No. Today was just me, but I’ll see him and his lovely wife again next week.’

  Lilia blew out a deep sigh, her thick, dark fringe flicking up off her face in the process.

  ‘How was your date last night anyway?’ Harper asked. ‘Any luck with the pilot?’

  They’d both had high hopes for this guy—Lilia loved travel, so whenever a pilot appeared on one of her dating sites she contacted him immediately.

  ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

  But Harper took a sip from her water bottle and waited.

  Two seconds later her friend elaborated. ‘He flies international for Qantas and he had the audacity to ask me to go halves on dinner. What the hell?’

  ‘Maybe he didn’t want to offend you by assuming traditional gender roles.’

  ‘Ugh. Just because I’m a feminist doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate chivalry and romance. Makes me think he’s a tight-arse with his money and I can’t stand people like that. If that wasn’t bad enough, he assumed I’d want a second date and suggested bowling for Saturday night.’

  Harper snorted and almost spat out the water she’d just sipped. Anyone could see Lilia wasn’t a bowling kind of girl.

  ‘Think I’ll give up on the man scene and accept my destiny,’ Lilia said. ‘Dating requires way too much effort.’

  ‘Good idea.’ Although Harper didn’t believe for a second Lilia would actually follow through on it.

  After that, they got down to business, going through the schedule for the following week. They had some interesting guests coming up—a beekeeper, a woman who wrote the captions in greeting cards, a photographer who worked in war-torn regions and a ghost hunter—and Harper looked forward to researching and speaking to all of them. After a few hours making notes, Harper and Lilia scoffed salad sandwiches and then migrated to the studio for their afternoon on air.

  The OCD expert was truly fascinating—she’d dis
covered a chemical receptor in the brains of mice that might hold the key to helping humans with obsessive-compulsive disorder—but Harper’s mind was only half on the job. Her hand kept drifting to her stomach as she contemplated the eggs forming there. More than once Lilia caught her staring off into space and smiling.

  Finally the day was over.

  ‘Any big plans for the weekend?’ Lilia asked as they hitched their handbags to their shoulders and swiped their security cards to let them out of the building.

  ‘Dammit. Until you mentioned it, I’d completely forgotten. I have Samuel’s work Christmas party tonight.’

  Lilia smirked. ‘Have fun.’

  Harper poked out her tongue at her friend. ‘I’ll see you Monday.’

  ‘There’s my sexy wife!’ Samuel announced as Harper entered the small function room his firm had hired at a harbourside restaurant.

  Pasting a smile on her face, she started towards him, not feeling particularly sexy with her bloated belly. She’d spent almost an hour trying to find a dress that would hide it and hoped the red one she’d eventually chosen did the trick.

  ‘Hello darling,’ he said, planting a kiss on her cheek and drawing her into his side. She could tell he’d already had a fair bit to drink, which made her think he’d won his court case today. Samuel wasn’t one for drowning his sorrows.

  ‘Hiya.’ She greeted the crowd of his colleagues gathered around him.

  Niceties were exchanged—she kissed the men, hugged the women and complimented the partners’ wives on their outfits. Samuel smiled pleasingly at her as she did this. The firm was a medium sized general law company with employees that practised in a number of areas. As well as Samuel, there was one other criminal solicitor, with whom he shared a personal assistant. There were two partners and seven other ambitious solicitors all, like Samuel, hoping to achieve partner status ASAP. So while all these people were friendly to each other, she knew, beneath the façade, they would stop at nothing to get ahead. There were also two paralegals and three receptionists.