Shalia's Diary #7

by Tracy St. John

  Back to my work. I like blade training a lot. Our instructor is a Nobek about Oses’ age. His name is Idow, and he has so many scars he looks like a walking roadmap. Despite looking like such a mess, the man is amazing to watch when he demonstrates a new technique. He has the grace of a ballet dancer, moving like he’s made of water rather than flesh. He has a son and a nephew who trained under Larten and offers only praise for my beau.

  The blade Larten gave me is easy to handle. Candy uses one borrowed from Nobek Mihi, and she complains about how heavy it is. It was made for a muscular Nobek, as is the one Katrina wields. Since she won’t see Clan Wotref right now, Nobek Siko sent her one of his through Oses.

  We’re working on parrying blows that Idow comes at us with (with a non-lethal stick instead of a blade), and the other two are incredibly clumsy with their cumbersome knives. Idow is designing better blades for the transport’s armorer to make for them. Oses told me that unbeknownst to the gals, Wotref is paying for the knives.

  Oses is as tough on us as Resan is when it comes to self-defense tactics ... but not as nasty with the insults. Still, he makes no bones about it when he’s not happy with our performances. ‘That was adequate’ is high praise coming from our unimpressed weapons commander.

  He and I have already had words when it comes to instruction, just as we knew we would. As I said, I am in so much pain right now I can barely see straight. I swear I’ve discovered sore muscles in places that I didn’t know I possessed. Today’s schedule had me, Candy, and Katrina trooping straight from Dramok Ass – I mean Resan – to Oses. I was out of sorts after a particularly ugly confrontation with the man who should be staked on a hill of fire ants. I was dreaming up vicious visions of retaliation when we reached the tiny room where the weapons commander waited.

  My spirits lifted to see Oses clad only in shorts, his magnificent body making my mouth dry. I might have tried for a different kind of workout despite all the pain I was in if Candy and Katrina hadn’t been there. Instead I lined up with my friends before the Nobek and awaited his instructions.

  “Head assault. Defend!” he barked at us. We immediately crouched down, our arms flying up in x formations before our faces.

  “Lower, Candy. Faster, Katrina. Shalia, that was sloppy and slow all the way. Up straight. Lower body assault. Defend!”

  Again we moved, more or less in unison. I was sluggish, and my legs damned near tangled around each other as I jerked to one side, moving to present less of a target to my imaginary attacker.

  “Better speed that time, Katrina. Blade your body more, Candy. Shalia, either wake up or get the fuck out of my training class.”

  After my latest row with Resan, my fuse was short. “Hey, back off already. We just worked with the other jerk for the last hour and then some. I can barely walk for the exhaustion and pain. You should be glad I’m on my feet at all!”

  Oses went still. I’ve never seen that man look at me so coldly. I knew I’d gone too far as far as our student/teacher relationship was concerned. I held up my hands.

  “I’m sorry, Nobek. I sincerely beg your pardon for my disrespect. It won’t happen again.”

  “No it won’t, Matara. Nor will this half-assed display you’ve given me these last three days.” His voice was quiet, but there was a deadly undercurrent to it. The tone made me listen more closely than if he’d screamed at me.

  Oses stood in front of me, his hands on his hips. “You asked for this training. You begged for this in your daughter’s name. You promised to do the work, no matter how difficult. What have you done now that we’ve granted you the opportunity? The bare minimum of effort, along with unending complaints and excuses.”

  I cringed, feeling small and ashamed. I swear I had started off with good intentions. However, my dislike for Resan and the fact that the work was tons more difficult than I’d anticipated had taken away much of my enthusiasm. I did what I had to in order to get by, nothing more.

  Oses’ verbal spanking continued. “I don’t care that you’re tired. I don’t care that you’re hurting as long as Dr. Tep says you’re fine to continue. You either commit to this or you quit. All or nothing. Either way, you will stop wasting the time I and Dramok Resan spend on you. Decide now, because next time you give me shit whether through performance or running your mouth, I’m throwing you out. There will be no second chances.”

  He wasn’t kidding. I either got with the program or Oses would wash his hands of training me.

  We had an agreement to leave our student/teacher relationship at the room’s door. Yet I had little doubt that if I failed in this, I would be diminished in Oses’ eyes as his lover and friend.

  I swallowed. “I will train to the best of my abilities. I apologize for my poor attitude, Weapons Commander.”

  “Then get in position. Mid-section assault. Defend!”

  I really worked for the rest of the lesson. It hurt like hell yet I gave it everything I had. I didn’t get any praise, but Oses didn’t kick me out either. When the lesson was over, after he dismissed Candy and Katrina, he told me to present myself for a spanking. I knew it wasn’t because he wanted to have fun. Oses didn’t have to tell me what the punishment was for. I knew. I had been disrespectful to the extreme in front of my fellow students. I was just grateful that he didn’t discipline me in front of the others.

  I’d asked to be trained like a Nobek. That meant taking my medicine like one. That meant physical punishment.

  I took my licks like any Nobek trainee would accept discipline from his superiors. I probably yelled a lot louder than a Nobek would, but I accepted it. Oses looked kind of proud of me afterward.

  “Remember that this stays in this room,” he told me. “Do not bring it into our lives outside of training.”

  “Yes, Weapons Commander,” I said. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to not acknowledge my blistered ass when we have dinner with Betra tonight though. I may not be able to sit for a week.

  Fuck. Tomorrow is leg day with Resan too. I am going to be in so much agony.

  August 17

  Holy smokes, has it really been a week since I last recorded an entry? Apparently so. I’ve been a busy girl.

  When I’m not training, I spend most of my time with Anrel. She has transitioned to a regular environment as of yesterday. I’m so excited! She’ll soon be sleeping in my quarters, a normal baby living with her mommy. Tep thinks it will be four or five more days while he runs final tests and makes sure she’s acclimatized to our dirty, germy atmosphere. Candy’s boyfriend Ama used some scraps from the bar he built for our dance club to make Anrel a beautiful little crib to sleep in. Katrina and Candy sewed some sheets that fit from the standard sleeping mat linens the ship uses.

  Speaking of our dance club, it is ready to open at long last. Just a few tiny details, and we’ll have our party space. It’s a little late – we’re around six weeks or so from Kalquor now, so we’ll get little use out of it. Oh well. We’re making a big to do of it anyway. Our opening party is in three days.

  So much to celebrate. I am delighted to report that there have been no more threats from Oses to kick me out of training. No more spankings for screwing up either. I have been working hard ever since I embarrassed myself last week with my ‘poor me’ bitchfest during which I talked back to Oses in front of Katrina and Candy. I’ve toed the line with Resan too, doing everything he demands. Oh, I still trade rude words with the man – we’ll never be friends. But I am getting stronger due to his training, putting some muscle on, losing the baby belly, and increasing endurance.

  Not that I’m about to show any gratitude, not after today. Resan said he couldn’t understand how I’d gotten pregnant with Anrel since no Kalquorian with sense would fuck such a useless scrap of an Earther. I told him I’d be glad to tell the weapons commander that Resan thought he had no sense. Resan said he believed Oses only screwed me out of pity. His lip curled in outright disgust as he looked at me heaving for breath after jogging a quarter of a mile down the ship
’s corridors.

  “I knew it! You despise me!” I shouted with triumph. “You told everyone you didn’t care one way or another, but you absolutely hate me!”

  Resan stared at me for a few moments before realization dawned. “You’re right. I loathe you. I really do. I don’t even know why.”

  “The feeling is mutual. I think I detested you from the moment we met.”

  Look at us. We found something in common: a deep and abiding abhorrence for each other. It’s the one thing I feel comfortable sharing with that bastard. Hey, there’s love at first sight, right? Why not hate? Some people were destined to be the sand in a gal’s ass crack.

  With that knowledge, I realize I will never get whatever incentive it was that Oses and Betra had in mind for me if I did well for two weeks. I’d screwed that up already in the first couple of days anyway when I told off Oses. With Resan’s immense dislike of all things Shalia, there is no way he’ll ever give a good report of my progress. I’m screwed.

  It’s still worth my while to do well. I’ve got my head on straight again, re-committed to doing my best for Anrel’s well-being. Not only that, but I discovered how averse I am to disappointing Oses.

  I didn’t disappoint today. We had sparring matches in both blade and self-defense training to demonstrate how well we’d absorbed our lessons thus far. I actually got a “Good job, Shalia,” from Nobek Idow after I managed to deflect all his attacks with the stick.

  As far as hand-to-hand, Oses got me in indefensible positions three times. Five was the limit he allowed us before we move on to new techniques. Katrina matched me, and Candy scraped by with five. She passed muster, but she’s pretty mad at herself for a couple of admittedly silly mistakes.

  So two out of three classes are going well. I can’t complain, so I won’t. I’ve done enough of that. It’s time to kick butt. Maybe one of these days I will do so. Resan will be at the front of the line.

  A girl can dream.

  August 19

  I had no idea what was going on last night an hour after dinner when Oses and Betra showed up at my door. We’d woken up together in my bed that morning, but I hadn’t talked to them after we all went our separate ways for the day. Even training with Oses was cancelled because of his duties; however, he did warn Candy, Katrina, and me we’d be fools not to practice without him. He promised much pain if we were not ready for our next lesson.

  It had been a full but good day. I had breakfast with the gals in the dining room. Then it was on to spend a couple of hours with Anrel. If her condition remains good, she’ll be out of Medical in two days. I get to bring my baby home! Well, my home aboard the ship. She’s really alert now, looking at people and responding to us. I can see her developing before my eyes. It’s amazing.

  After Anrel time, I had training with my least favorite ass in the universe. Resan did all he could to piss me off while we worked and sweated. Now that he realizes he truly does dislike me he seems to take great delight in it. For my part, I work hard with no hope of any consideration for it and yell back when the mood suits me. We’ve achieved a sort of comfort in our mutual condemnation society. In some perverse way I think we both enjoy having someone we can dump on openly and impolitely. It amuses Candy and Katrina to no end.

  Then we had our knife fighting training, which went pretty well. I really enjoy it. Idow relies on Larten’s lesson plan, altering it for each of us as our needs and skill levels dictate. Then there was lunch, and then we practiced defensive techniques so Oses wouldn’t kick our asses later.

  After a nice shower I spent more time with Anrel. We had visitors, including Nobek Siko. I suspect Captain Wotref’s clanmate was hoping to run into Katrina.

  “She’s napping,” I told the elder Nobek as he cradled Anrel in his scarred arms. “Katrina says training wipes out her old lady body.”

  Siko snickered. “That woman is more fit than some of the girls your age,” he said in open admiration. When Anrel chirruped at him, he smiled at her. “Yes, my little becu. Grammy is stubborn. She makes this Nobek hurt as no weapon ever has. She is still the most wondrous being next to you.”

  I felt sorry for him, for all of Clan Wotref. “I know she misses you too. It’s killing her to have to choose.”

  “She should not have to. Her son is in the wrong.” Siko scowled only slightly, as if afraid to upset Anrel.

  “I agree, but he probably thinks he’s doing it out of love. He’s trying to save her soul.”

  “He’s an idiot.” Siko stated this flatly. “But don’t tell her I said that.” He smiled at Anrel. “As for you, precious becu, I will put kisses on your cheeks like Grammy does. Then when she kisses you there, you’ll deliver them to her for me.”

  I hope things work out for Katrina to be with Clan Wotref. When an old brute like Siko does something so romantic, it’s got to happen.

  After Anrel went down for a nap, I returned to my quarters. I’m all set up for her in there. The crib is by the sleeping mat, and her itty bitty clothes (so cute!!!) are in drawers and hanging up. A basin for her bath is next to the shower. Formula, bottles, a ton of necessities litter the shelves. Piles of diapers lined up against the walls since I ran out of drawer and shelf space. Who would have ever thought such a tiny being would need so much room? At this rate, she’ll need her own quarters.

  I drifted around, looking at her stuff, envisioning Anrel being there with me. I can’t wait.

  Dinner came and went. I checked on my little girl. Still all systems go. Tep decided it was a good idea to run a scan and some quick tests on me to see how I’m doing.

  “You look great,” he confirmed. “Those workouts are getting you in good shape.”

  “I’ve barely started,” I laughed.

  “The difference is still there. I’m calling you fully recovered from the It and the poisoning it took to get that thing out of you. Keep up the good work.”

  I was in a good mood when I went back to my quarters. I’d barely stepped in when my door opened and Oses and Betra walked in.

  “Hi guys. It looks like you’ve done some shopping.” I grinned at them because they were carrying small boxes, the kinds that Acquisitions uses. “Anything for me?”

  “It’s all for you,” Betra said, his smile ear to ear and full of mischief. “It’s part of your reward.”

  “What reward?” I gave the boxes a worried look.

  “For doing so well with your training,” Oses replied, setting his load on the table. “It’s a day or two early, but we figured you earned it.”

  “An advance on continued good behavior,” Betra added. His boxes landed on my lounger.

  I hated to refuse goodies, but my conscience is such a bitch. “I’m more than a day or two from earning any such thing,” I pointed out. “I got my butt spanked for being a disrespectful whiner. Plus Resan would never in a million years admit I did anything right. No way I earned anything.”

  Betra gave me an amused look. “I’d hate to see you and Resan locked together in a small room. The carnage would be insane.”

  Oses shook his head. “He doesn’t like you, not one bit. But as I told you, he’s fair. It was obvious Resan was choking on every last word when he reported to me, but he admitted that since that rocky start you’ve applied yourself. His exact words were, ‘When she shuts that loud mouth of hers, she works hard. Shalia is exceeding my expectations.’”

  My eyes were wide enough to fall out of my head. “Resan said that about me? Resan? Tell me you recorded that moment. I would give anything to hear praise for me coming out of his mouth.”

  Oses and Betra both laughed. The Nobek told me, “No, I did not record it. I’m not giving you any ammunition when it comes to your feud.”

  Betra added, “It’s so weird how you two can’t stand each other. In a lot of ways, your personalities are alike.”

  “You take that back,” I snarled at the Imdiko.

  Oses interrupted my flare of temper. “You did mess up at the start of training, both with y
our lazy attitude and talking back to me. Since then you have – what’s the phrase? Pulled your shit together. I am proud of you.”

  Wow. Hearing that from Oses was like getting a ticker tape parade. I almost wriggled in my delight to hear him praise my efforts.

  Betra smiled to see me beam. “So we thought you deserved a surprise a little early. We want to keep you motivated to continue. It’s good to see you not just recovering, but coming back harder and stronger than ever.”

  I think I blushed. Their approval made me feel liked I’d conquered a mountain.

  Betra opened the first box. At first I thought he was presenting me with a dead animal. “I hope you know how to put this on,” he said.