by Becca Steele
“Don’t hold back on my account.”
“Avery.” His tone was a warning.
The cab came to a stop outside Ethan’s apartment block, and he quickly paid, then virtually dragged me through the foyer, stabbing at the button to call the lift over and over.
“I think you only need to press it once,” I said, very quietly under my breath.
“I heard that.”
We stared at one another for a moment, and then we both started laughing at the same time. “What are you doing to me, woman? One minute I can’t think about anything but being inside you, the next you’re making me laugh. I can say, with a hundred percent certainty, that I’ve never met anyone like you, Avery Jenkins.”
“Would you say I’m one in a million?” I waggled my eyebrows at him, grinning.
His face turned serious. “Yes. You are one in a million. There’s no one I’d rather be with at this moment in time.”
I melted at his words as he lowered his head, and I lost myself in his kiss.
Ethan manoeuvred me into the lift, his lips never leaving mine, and it began to rise. When it came to a halt, we pulled apart from one another, breathing heavily. As we stood, poised to enter his apartment, the reality of being with this man hit me, and I faltered. We’d been together before, but being here, at his home—something about it felt different, almost overwhelming, and I was overcome by nerves.
“Hey, come here.” He pulled me into his arms, noticing my distress. “We don’t have to rush anything. You control this. Okay?”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what it is. I just feel…nervous, I guess.” What if he regrets it again?
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” His arms tightened around me, and he ran his fingers through my hair, soothing and relaxing me. “I have an idea. Go and stand by the sofa, facing the windows.”
I complied and waited for him to do whatever he was doing, staring out of the huge windows at the city lights. I heard a click, and the overhead lights were turned off, replaced with the soft glow of a single floor lamp that stood in the corner of the room behind a large armchair. Music began playing softly. I recognised the song as one of my favourites—“Dangerously” by Charlie Puth; and I smiled. I felt his presence behind me, and then his body was pressed against my back. His arms came around me, sending shivers down my spine. “Dance with me, Miss Jenkins.”
My nerves melted away as we moved to the music. “Remember the first time we danced together, here in your apartment.”
He ran the tip of his nose along my cheek to my ear. “I wanted to kiss you then.”
“Why didn’t you?”
He was silent for a moment. “I’m not sure. The thought hit me from nowhere and took me by surprise, and at the time, I don’t think either of us were ready.”
I turned in his arms to face him, winding my arms around his neck. “I’m ready now. Are you?”
He pressed his hard length against me. “Does that answer your question?” Taking my hand, he led me into his bedroom.
We undressed each other in between kisses, and his whispered reminders that I was in charge of the pace. The music still played through hidden speakers, the volume low, and the only light came from the city lights twinkling outside the windows.
I asked him to lie on the bed, and he complied instantly. The sight of him, lying there, hard and ready for me, made me catch my breath, and I moaned softly, the throbbing between my legs too much to bear. I needed him inside me.
“Come here.” His voice was low and commanding. I stumbled around to the side of the bed, and he tracked my movements, his hand reaching down to his thick length. I licked my lips and he growled. “Condom. Bedside table.” I reached into the drawer, glancing down and rolling my eyes at how neatly arranged everything was inside it. I grabbed a condom and turned back to face him, all thoughts of his obsessive organisation flying out of my mind. He crooked his finger at me, and I crawled across the bed to him, the dark grey sheets soft and luxurious under my hands.
He took the condom from me and rolled it on, then gripped my hips to align my body with his. I slowly lowered myself onto him, watching the heavy-lidded expression of lust in his eyes as he watched his cock entering me. From my vantage point, I stared down at him, sprawled underneath me, sexy and powerful, but letting me take control. How did I get here? Why did this unattainable man, who could have almost any woman he wanted, want me?
All thoughts flew out of my head as he brushed his thumb across my clit. And again. And again. The sensation of fullness, combined with his touch, overloaded my senses. I whimpered, and he let out a low growl, pulling me down and smashing his lips across mine. His arms came around me, gripping my ass and moving us into a delicious rhythm. The friction of his body against mine was beyond words. I felt myself climbing higher and higher, teetering on the edge, my movements becoming more frenzied, my breaths growing short as I moaned into his mouth.
“Come for me.”
His words sent me over the edge, and I shattered around him, and he was right there with me.
I lay in his arms, completely spent, with him still inside me, and his arms came around me, running up and down my back. He brushed my hair off my face and kissed my forehead lightly.
“I could get used to this.” The sincerity in his voice had me tipping my head up to look at him.
“Get used to what?”
“You and me. Together.”
“Me too.” I smiled shyly at him. I sat up carefully, letting him slide out of me, then stood up, wobbling on shaky legs. “I’m going to use the bathroom.” When I reached the door, I turned back to see him still lying there, with his hand flung over his face. Fuck, he was so gorgeous. And mine. Hopefully. Crossing my fingers for luck, I walked inside his ensuite bathroom, closing the door softly behind me.
15
Avery
Ethan broke the kiss, looking dazed. “I’m going to be late for my meeting. Got to go.” He stood, striding towards his office door, then paused, turning back towards me, uneasiness in his dark eyes. “Babe…” He met my gaze. “I’m sorry to do this to you. Could we reschedule tonight’s meal? I need to get the Stark project wrapped up by the end of the week, before we run out of time. Delia can check my calendar and book in another date.” Noticing my downcast face, he spun on his heel and beckoned me over. “Come here. Please.” As I reached him, he wrapped me in his arms. “I really am sorry. Next week will be quieter, I promise.” He kissed my forehead, then released me and was gone, leaving me standing there.
Alone.
Again.
We’d been seeing each other for four weeks and two days…not that I was counting. We’d been keeping it quiet in the office so we didn’t attract attention to ourselves, but I was pretty sure that everyone knew. He was trying, he really was, but there was always something work related that took priority. I’d known it would happen—Barrett London meant everything to him. I’d hoped, though, that he could carve out a niche for me in his life. So far, he’d cancelled more plans than he’d kept. I could understand him not having time during the day—we were at work, after all—but his work seemed to be taking up most of his evenings and weekends, too, leaving very little room for anything else.
Sighing, I headed out of his office and sank into my chair.
“Want a coffee?” Luke stood, stretching.
“Ooh, yes please. Actually, could I have a tea? Thanks.”
He returned a few minutes later with a mug of tea and a chocolate digestive biscuit.
“Yum, just what I needed.” I dunked the biscuit in my tea, then took a big bite.
“Shh, the biscuits are from Eddie’s personal stash. Don’t tell him.” Luke winked at me.
“My lips are sealed.” I leaned forwards, across our desks, the words tumbling from my mouth before I could change my mind. “Luke? Could I ask you something about Ethan?”
“What?” Luke stared at me curiously.
“Has he always been this…busy?”
> “With work? Yeah. It’s his company, Aves. His first love. He lives for it.”
“Does he cancel plans with you?”
“What’s this about? Is this about you and him?” Luke’s eyes narrowed, and he placed his mug down, giving me his full attention. I withered under his intense gaze.
“Never mind,” I muttered. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
He sighed. “Okay. To answer your question, yeah, sometimes he cancels plans. Things happen.” Shrugging, he continued. “Did—”
His words were cut off by Eddie’s shout.
“Who took my biscuits?”
Luke and I stared at each other, wide-eyed. “Quick! Hide the evidence.” He shoved the rest of his biscuit into his mouth and swept the crumbs from his desk. Laughing, I discreetly hid the other half of mine underneath some of the papers that littered my desk. Thankful for the chance to drop the subject, I grabbed a stack of receipts from my in tray and started tapping away on my computer, pretending to be engrossed in my work.
Saturday night. Our rescheduled date. I could see the waiter hovering, no doubt deciding whether to come back over to me for the third time. Glancing at my phone, I sent another message to Ethan, asking him where he was, even though my previous message had gone unanswered. I beckoned the waiter over and ordered a glass of champagne, since the restaurant only offered wine by the bottle. As soon as the waiter had left, relief all over his face, I stood and walked into the foyer to try calling Ethan.
The phone rang until his answering service kicked in, but I decided not to leave a message, since he’d see my texts and missed call when he saw his phone. I was beginning to feel worried—what if something had happened to him?
Back in the restaurant, I sipped my champagne, drumming my fingers on the table. As I finished the glass, I realised almost an hour had passed since the time we were due to meet, and I couldn’t shake the worry that had settled deep in the pit of my stomach. If Ethan was just running late, surely he would have sent me a message to let me know. I beckoned the waiter over again and asked for the bill. Leaving a generous tip for wasting his time, making the glass of champagne the most expensive one I’d ever purchased in my life, I hurried out into the street, lifting my phone to my ear to try calling Ethan again. If there was no answer I was going to try going to his apartment and beg the concierge to help me.
“Avery!” The urgent shout came from behind me, and I spun around, almost dropping my phone. I rushed to Ethan, throwing myself into his arms, his wool coat scratchy against my cheek.
“Are you okay? I’ve been so worried, thinking something had happened to you.” My voice was shaky, and I gripped onto his arms tightly to reassure myself he was really there.
“I’m so, so sorry.” His dark gaze was full of remorse. “I got caught up with work, and I lost track of the time.”
I stumbled backwards, staring at him in shock. “You mean to say that there was nothing wrong with you? You were working?”
“Yes. I have no excuse for my behaviour. As soon as I realised the time, I got a cab straight here.”
There was a pounding in my ears, and I gritted my teeth. “Is your phone working?”
“Yes. But, Aves, I thought it would be better if I spoke to you in person to explain.”
“Ethan. I sent that first text to you forty minutes ago. And yet, you didn’t find it necessary to reply,” I bit out.
“My phone was on silent. How many times can I apologise?”
I stared at him, resigned, knowing what had to be done. “Not enough. Look, I don’t think this is going to work out between us.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “No, don’t say that. I want to be with you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I know you feel the same. This is the first time this has happened, and I’ll make sure it’s the last.”
“It’s not enough.” This is so hard. “Ethan, it’s not just about tonight. Yes, you haven’t stood me up before, but you’ve cancelled or rearranged almost every one of our plans.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is. Think about it.”
He looked at me, pensive, then his face dropped. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. You’re right. How can I make this better? I don’t want to lose you.”
“I can’t come second to your work all the time,” I said sadly. “I know how much your company means to you, but you’re not allowing yourself time for us. Time for me. I’m sorry. As much as I like you, and I do really, really like you, I don’t think I can do this anymore.” My voice cracked, and I bit my lip, trying to stop my tears from falling.
“Please don’t cry. I’ll try harder.” His agonised tone cut straight through me. He reached to put his arms around me, and I took a step back.
“I can’t. Please don’t,” I begged, my voice barely above a whisper. “It’s better this way. Let me go.”
His face fell, and I couldn’t bear it. “If that’s what you think is best,” he said in a low voice. We looked at one another, sadness clear in his eyes, and I leaned up, placing my lips on his for the briefest of kisses, one last time. It hurt, a real, physical pain, but it was for the best.
“Goodbye, Ethan.”
I cried myself to sleep that night.
16
Ethan
Padding barefoot into the kitchen after a night tossing and turning, I made myself a coffee, then sat at my kitchen island, the newspaper open in front of me. The words blurred before my eyes as I found myself unable to concentrate, my mind consumed with thoughts of Avery.
Where did it all go wrong? Was I really so caught up in my work that I couldn’t manage to find time for the one woman I wanted to have a relationship with? The stubborn, unique, beautiful woman that I was falling for. The woman that was starting to mean everything to me.
I needed answers.
I picked up my phone and sent a message to the group chat I had with my two best mates, Alex and Luke.
Me: Are either of you around?
Alex: Yeah mate. What’s up?
Luke: Do you know what time it is? Too fucking early!
Me: Meet at the gym? I need some advice.
Alex: You? Advice from us?! I need to hear this *crying laughing emoji*
Luke: Have you seen the time?!
Me: I don’t ask for much. I could use your opinion, as shocking as it is.
Luke: *need coffee GIF*
Luke: I’ll be there. Give me an hour.
Me: Thanks boys. See you there.
Alex: *thumbs up emoji*
The weights area in Savage Boxing Gym was quiet, for once, most of the action concentrated around one of the three boxing rings where Axel Savage, eldest of the four brothers who owned the gym, was sparring with John “Behemoth” O’Flaherty. I changed and headed over to the weights, where Alex was waiting for me. We lifted in silence for a while until Luke turned up. As he lay back on the bench, lifting the barbell with Alex spotting him, I put down my weights and sank onto the empty bench next to them. I waited until Luke had finished his first set of reps, then turned to them both.
“Thanks for meeting me. I have a question, and I want honest answers.” I paused to wipe my face with a towel. “Do you think I have a good work-life balance?”
Alex was the first to reply, with brutal honesty. “Fuck, no. Your life is work. You eat, sleep, and breathe it. Why?”
Luke sat up, giving me his full attention, his gaze speculative. “Sorry, mate, I agree with Alex. Is this something to do with Avery?”
“Avery? You still seeing her? When do I get to meet her?” Alex spoke before I could reply.
“Yes, it’s Avery. No, I’m not still seeing her, so you won’t get to meet her.”
“What did you do?” Luke gave me an accusing look.
I ran a hand through my hair, defeated. “I messed up. I’d planned a restaurant date for us, only, I got so caught up in work I lost track of the time. By the time I remembered and the taxi had picked me up, she’d been left waiting
for me for over an hour. I turned up as she was leaving the restaurant, and she told me she wanted to break things off.”
“You, my friend, are a fucking idiot. Fix it.”
“It’s not that simple, Alex.”
“You know,” Luke said slowly, “she asked me the other day if you cancel plans with me. Sounds like you had problems before this.”
Fuck. I pinched my brow, nausea churning in my stomach. My friends were right. “What do I do?”
Alex shrugged. “You’re better at this shit than I am. Don’t women like flowers and grovelling apologies? So I’ve heard, not that I’ve ever needed to use them.”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course you haven’t. Luke? Any words of wisdom?”
“Me? Not likely. What about asking a woman for advice. Delia?”
“Hmm. That’s not a bad idea actually. Thanks.”
“Sorted.” Alex stood up straight. “Back to it. I don’t get a body like this without putting the work in.” He flexed his muscles, posing like a bodybuilder in a competition, and Luke and I both groaned in unison.
When our workout came to an end, and we were standing at the gym entrance ready to go our separate ways, Alex turned to me and Luke.
“Pub on Friday?”
“Yes, mate!” Luke grinned. “Eth?”
“I’ll be there. Hopefully.”
“You’d better be.” Alex prodded me with a finger. “If you don’t sort all this shit out with your woman, I’m setting you up with one of mine.”
“Please don’t.”
“The best way to get over someone is by getting under someone else, remember.”
“Alex. Please.”
“You can set me up, just saying,” Luke interjected.
“Already on it.” Alex smirked at him. “See ya later.” He disappeared with an exaggerated salute, and after saying goodbye to Luke, I headed to my SUV to make the drive home.
Back in my apartment, I scrolled to Delia’s number and sent her a quick message, asking her to see me in my office as soon as she arrived at work on Monday morning. Now all I had to do was wait and hope I could work something out with her help. If Avery would even consider giving me another chance.
