Up in Flames

by Nicole Williams

“Hey, Elle,” he said, looking as surprised as Derrick had to see me here. “Hey, Dani. Pour yourselves a beer and drink up.” He handed us the cups and pointed at the keg beside us. “This is a party, haven’t you heard?”

  Dani grabbed my cup and had our cups filled and properly frothed in record time. The girl knew how to work a keg. Handing me one, she tipped her cup and took a drink. If you call upending the entire cup a “drink.”

  “What did Logan say when you told him you were coming to the Summer Kick-Off Party at old man Shanigan’s?” Derrick asked.

  I took a swig of the beer to stall and made a face. I wasn’t a connoisseur, but I’d had enough sips of it to know this was the cheapest kind. “I didn’t exactly tell Logan I was coming.” Yeah, that sounded bad. “Yet,” I added. “Dani convinced me to come after work and I didn’t get a chance to talk to him.”

  Derrick’s expression changed, like he was seeing me in a whole new light.

  “Yeah, Logan doesn’t know,” Dani piped in, “so don’t slip and say anything.”

  “It’s not a secret,” I said. “I’ll tell him tomorrow when I talk with him. I’m sure he won’t think it’s a big deal.”

  “Yes, he will think it’s a big deal and that’s the reason for no, you won’t tell Logan tomorrow.”

  I took another drink of my beer, but this wasn’t a dainty sip.

  “Damn, Elle Montgomery. At a party and tipping back a beer.” Derrick shook his head, obviously amused. “If I knew you had this edgy side, I wouldn’t have given in so easily when Logan said he was going to ask you to Homecoming our sophomore year. My loss.” He smiled at me as his eyes wandered down my body in a way that made me squirm. “And don’t worry. I’ll take your secret to my grave.”

  “It’s not a secret,” I repeated as Dani grabbed my elbow and weaved me through the crowd.

  “God,” she said, making a disgusted face, “Derrick Davenport is such a horn-dog. I was going to need a shower if we hung around his filth any longer.”

  “I seem to recall you enjoying that horn-dog once or twice last summer,” I teased as I nodded my head at a few familiar faces who called out my name.

  “Eww. Please don’t remind me of that. There’s a reason I’m so big into repressing memories, you know?” She stopped in front of a huge tree stump and plopped down. She patted the space beside her. “Room for two.”

  “Remind me again why I’m here?” I said as I took a seat.

  “Hmm,” Dani said, staring at the group of smokejumpers and their groupies. “Let me get one of them to remind you.” Her smile curved up as her eyes lingered on a few of the blond ones. Dani’s weakness was men, but the blond ones would one day be the death of her.

  “Come on, Dani,” I said, waving my beer at them. “You can do so much better than some adrenaline junkie on an ego trip who wouldn’t know commitment if it permanently attached to his pompous ass.”

  “Who’s been telling on me again?”

  I froze, and if it hadn’t been for Dani’s incessant nudging, I would have stayed that way. I didn’t need to look to the side to know who was standing there. That voice was tattooed into my mind.

  “You,” I said, lucky I was able to get one word out. While I couldn’t say Cole looked better now than he had earlier, because the wet hair and body thing really worked for him, he did still manage to make me feel things I shouldn’t be feeling in his dark jeans, green jacket, and knowing expression.

  “Me,” he replied, grinning at me. Even in the dark, those green-blue eyes of his glowed. Taking a couple steps closer, he motioned at me. “You.”

  I laughed a couple notes, but given I was nervous as all heck, I sounded more like a dying animal than a laughing girl. “Me.”

  Of course when Cole laughed, he sounded all swoony and sexy.

  “Okay,” Dani said, staring at Cole like someone had just decided to reincarnate a God and put him in a sinner’s body. “Who is you? Or who is me?” she said. “I’m so damn confused.”

  “This is Cole,” I said. “Cole Carson.”

  I saw a familiar gleam in Dani’s eyes. The one that said and I can get him into my bed how?

  “You were listening,” Cole said. “I didn’t think you were doing much else other than staring.” His smile curved higher on one side.

  “You know him?” From Dani’s tone, I knew I’d just gotten twenty extra cool points.

  “We met earlier today,” I said.

  “While we were both swimming at the same place,” Cole added, stuffing his hand in his pocket. “Naked.”

  Dani’s eyes popped. She was a worldly girl—it took something especially shocking to get those jaded eyes of hers to pop.

  “What Cole forgot to mention was that he was on Grandma M’s private property and I had no idea he was even there.”

  “Wait.” Dani shook her head. “You swim naked?”

  World views were being shifted.

  “Oh, yes,” Cole said, popping his brows, “Elle swims naked.”

  He’d seen me naked, but hearing him say my name was intimate in a way I hadn’t anticipated. “How did you find out my name?”

  “A bunch of people were talking about this Elle Montgomery girl who didn’t have a rebellious bone in her body showing up a few minutes ago. Of course, once I saw the girl all those fingers were pointing at, I knew they were wrong. How could a girl who swims naked and flirts with equally naked strangers not have a rebellious bone in that fine, fine body?”

  “I was not flirting with you,” I said, not really sure if I had or hadn’t been. I wasn’t even sure how to flirt in a calculated, alluring way, so if I was flirting with Cole as he says I was, that meant it had all come naturally.

  Which was possibly the most troubling piece of trivia I’d been made aware of all week.

  Dani managed to peel her eyes off of Cole and studied me for a few seconds. She had always been able to see right through my lies, and it was obvious that that was what she was seeing through now.

  “I’m going to go mingle,” she said, standing up. “Let you two pick up where you left off.”

  “We don’t need to pick anything up,” I said.

  Dani leaned close to whisper in my ear. “If you still feel that way in ten minutes, come get me. I’d be more than happy to pick up anything of his.”

  “You’re disgusting,” I hissed after her.

  Her response was a wink as she beelined towards the growing group of smokejumpers and their entourage.

  “So you really weren’t flirting with me this afternoon?” Cole asked as he took a seat beside me. With him pressed up against me, the stump seemed a lot smaller than when Dani’d been next to me.

  “I really wasn’t,” I replied, checking my nose to make sure it wasn’t growing.

  “Wow. I think my ego just took a serious nosedive,” he said, making a hurt face.

  Darn. Even when he was faking insult, Cole’s face did things to my insides no face that wasn’t my boyfriend’s should do.

  “From where I’m sitting, it looks like you’ve got plenty to spare,” I said, smiling into my cup as I took a sip of beer. I liked this edgier, wittier Elle. I never talked this way to Logan.

  Cole’s eyes shifted to my mouth for one second before they flashed to mine. “And from where I was swimming, it looked like you’ve got plenty to spare, too.”

  If I wasn’t already flushing from him glancing at my lips, now I was. Although flushing might have been understating it.

  “Oh, shit,” he said, as his eyebrows came together. “You’re embarrassed. Actually, judging from that shade of red, I’d say you’re more along the lines of mortified.” I liked the way he studied my face, like he was really looking at me and seeing who I was. I hated the way he studied my face for the same reason. “I’m sorry, Elle. I assumed the girl who skinny dipped and tossed witty remarks at me this afternoon wouldn’t be easily embarrassed.” For the first time, Cole’s face and words seemed genuine. “I’m a dick. Forgiven?”

&n
bsp; Ah, crap. He said it, so now I was imagining his. Just when you think you’ve got nowhere else to go on the red scale. . .

  “Okay, changing the subject before you pass out from red poisoning,” he said, smirking at me just enough to let me know he knew what I was thinking. Or picturing. “So if the high class keggers in the back woods aren’t normally your scene, what is?”

  “It’s nowhere near as exciting as parachuting into forest fires,” I said, liking the way Cole’s arm felt against mine. I shouldn’t like the way it felt. “In fact, it’s pretty much the opposite of daring, exciting, and adventurous.”

  “I find that hard to believe,” Cole said. “Because it’s no secret that girls who skinny dip are not in any way, on any planet, boring.”

  “Could you please, please, please stop talking about me and skinny dipping?” I said, because every time he brought it up, I thought about it. And every time I thought about it, that zing of heat rushed up my body. “And on this planet, this girl is considered painfully boring in every sense of the word.”

  Verbalizing it was depressing. It was somehow easier to accept when I kept it to myself.

  Cole stared at me, his eyes amused and his mouth drawn in a serious line. Almost like he didn’t believe me, but was smart enough to not push the topic.

  I would have been good with him pushing the topic.

  In ten minutes of conversation time, most of that exchanged in snarky banter, I felt more alive than I’d felt in . . .

  Well, ever.

  It was dangerous, feeling this way. And intoxicating.

  “So what does Elle Montgomery have planned come fall when the scintillating backwoods parties come to an end?” he said. “You strike me as the kind of girl off to some top-notch college on the East Coast. Studying to become a doctor. Or a professional skinny—”

  My glare snapped Cole’s mouth shut, another point in his smarter-than-he-looks column.

  “College would be nice, but my life’s kind of taking a different direction.”

  “What direction?” Cole asked.

  “A direction that doesn’t leave a lot of room for majors and dorm rooms,” I said around a sigh. Again, admitting this was about twice as depressing as keeping it to myself.

  “And you’re okay with this?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, almost wishing we were talking about skinny dipping again because at least that kind of uncomfortable came along with the image of Cole’s naked, wet body.

  If I kept thinking those kinds of thoughts, I was going to have to unzip my coat and lose the gloves.

  “If you don’t take control of your life, Elle, someone else will,” Cole said, his voice quiet, almost distant. Was that a glimmer of introspection that had just come from his mouth? Couldn’t be. “That’s a fact of life as guaranteed as death and taxes.”

  “Sounds like a lesson you’ve learned personally,” I guessed. “And from the look on your face, I’m guessing you learned that lesson from a girl.”

  For the first time since he’d made his appearance, Cole looked away. “I’m not used to perceptive girls,” he said, staring into the bonfire. He was in another world, but not for long. When his eyes latched back onto mine, I was able to exhale the breath I hadn’t known I’d been holding. “I’ll have to be more careful around you.” His smile, that I’m sure had worked a handful of girls’ clothes off, formed.

  “What kind of girls are you used to then?” I asked, but only to hear him confirm the answer I’d arrived at.

  “The kind that aren’t exactly interested in getting down and dirty with my mind,” he replied. “The kind that don’t take a random piece of advice and turn it into a therapy session.”

  “So you’re here beside me because?” I asked. I wasn’t the kind of girl that got down and dirty with . . . anything.

  Uh-oh. That sexy smirk of his hit the top of its range.

  Leaning in, so I could almost feel his breath against my neck, he said, “Maybe I want to get used to something else.”

  I told myself the chills running down my body were due to the cool night air.

  “Until the summer’s over?” I said, trying to ignore the heat rolling off his body onto mine. “I know how you smokejumpers operate. And since you were kind enough to give me a lesson, let me return the favor.” I sat up higher and pretended Cole Carson was nothing that I wanted. “I’m not a summer fling girl.”

  Wow. What was coming over me? I didn’t say these things or express this kind of emotion. I needed to find myself a muzzle or some strong duct tape before I said anything else I’d wake up regretting.

  Cole didn’t look phased, not even a bit. “Damn,” he said, exaggerating a sigh. “There goes my whole summer.”

  “I’m sure you’ll find more than enough distractions to get you by,” I said, waving at the group that now had expanded so it was more of a four to one female to male ratio. “See? One girl for every night this summer.”

  “I’m more of a quality guy,” he said. “Once I find that quality girl, then I like quantity. Lots and lots of quantity.”

  When Dani caught my attention, she jacked her eyebrows and made air kisses my direction. She already had some guy latched onto her and what looked to be another waiting in the wings if option number one wandered off to refill his beer.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about and I don’t want an explanation,” I said, looking back at Cole, needing to shift the conversation before he starting defining “lots and lots of quanity.” “So what about Cole Carson? Is smokejumping the be-all-end-all for you?”

  “It is for right now. As far as summer jobs go, nothing can beat it,” he said with a shrug. “I’m not sure if it’s what I’ll be doing in five summers or even next summer, but I know it’s what I want to do right now. I live in the present and figure the rest out as I go along.”

  I couldn’t recall a time I’d thought like that, let alone done it.

  “That sounds nice,” I said a little wistfully.

  “It is. You should try it sometime.” He nudged me gently.

  “I’d love to, but that’s not in anyone’s glass-ball for me.”

  “Why?” he asked.

  “Because most days, I just feel like I’m going along with what everyone else but me wants for my life. And on the rare day I try and fight back, the battle is over before it even begins.”

  Why was I being so honest with Cole? For all intents and purposes, he was a total stranger who jumped out of perfectly good airplanes for a living. I shouldn’t lay it all out and take his words of advice as the gold standard. I knew Cole wasn’t the person I should confide in or take advice from, but it felt so darn right. My brain and heart had officially declared war on one another. I couldn’t tell you which one I hoped would win.

  “Each day kind of feels like a betrayal to myself, you know?” I added with a whisper.

  Cole’s hand dropped to my knee. The warmth from his skin bled through my jeans until it combined with the heat of my leg. “Then why don’t you tell everyone to fuck off and start living your life day to day like me?”

  I slid my hands into my coat pockets when I realized one of them had been moving towards his. “One, because I don’t say the ‘f’ word, and two, because I don’t have the luxury of day to day like some people.”

  “Everybody has that luxury,” he said as his fingers curled into my leg. “Most people just choose to ignore it.”

  I knew if any one of the people absorbed in their own conversations glanced over and saw Cole’s hand curled in my knee, all it would take was one quick photo or one call to Logan, and I could wave goodbye to the whole future I’d known to be mine for a while now. That was a paralyzing thought, but not as paralyzing as the thought of Cole’s hand leaving me.

  “So what are you saying?” I asked.

  “Stop ignoring it. Live your life, Elle Montgomery,” he said, his eyes glowing from his words. “I can tell from a couple of conversations with you that you’re one hell of a woma
n. Imagine the woman you could be if you lived for no one else but yourself.”

  I considered that for a few moments. I loved the idea of it and hated the reality of it.

  “That’s exactly what I’ll have to do,” I said with a sigh. “Imagine.”

  “You sure about that?”

  Simple question—I should have had a simple answer, but the responses firing off in my mind were complex. Was I sure about that? Did I have to accept what I’d assumed my future would be? Or was now the time, if ever there was, to shake everything up? Would I stay in Winthrop, take over the diner, and marry my high school sweetheart, or would I do the other things I wanted so badly to do?

  So many questions and absolutely no solutions.

  I guess Cole took my silence as my answer.

  “Give me a call if that ever changes,” he said, standing up.

  His body no longer being beside mine shouldn’t have affected me. Giving me a small smile, one that I mirrored, he headed back to his group of smokejumpers. I was mid heavy sigh when he spun around and jogged back.

  His smile wasn’t small anymore. “Never mind. I can’t wait,” he said, his eyes sparkling. “Let’s say I just give you a call tomorrow night? Maybe we could go for another swim next week? Swimsuits not required.”

  He was asking me on a date. I hadn’t misread his signals and I hadn’t exactly discouraged him. This was my opportunity to tell him about Logan. The moment I should slide my glove off and flash my promise ring in front of his face. This was my time to prove that the life I was living was what I wanted to continue on with.

  “Cole,” I said, chewing the debate out on my lip.

  “Elle,” he said, and just the way he said the name and his face looked when he said it did things to me that I couldn’t ignore.

  The debate was over. “You don’t have my number,” I said, realizing I’d just tugged on the dangling string.

  I wasn’t sure if everything would unravel or I’d be able to stop it, but that was a distant thought when Cole dropped his mouth outside of my ear. His hand slid my hair behind my ear and I was fairly certain if he touched me again, I would burst into flames. The blue, hottest burning kind.