Vengeance

by Amy Miles

  Hyde has come to check on me twice since I awoke. Neither time was he forthcoming with answers. He made his presence known, brought me a cup of water and left again. Both times I sensed that he wanted to say something but held back.

  I have far too many questions to linger here in bed, but each time I try to rise I feel far too weak to manage it. I was told earlier by a beautiful dark haired woman with a sing-song voice that I struggled through the surgery. She has been the only one to come and dress my wounds. Her skin is pale as a winter’s snow, clear and flawless. Her lips are like crushed cherries and her eyes are piercing, made of shimmering gold. Though I have only ever seen her in battle gear, black and masculine, I imagine that she would be simply stunning in a long gown with her hair drawn up from her shoulders. She wears a jewel around her neck. It is rectangle and shimmers like sunlight upon water. Although I’m not sure why, I have the distinct feeling that we have met before. In another time. In a different place.

  She told me that her name is Vanata. That is all she told me. I suspect that Donan informed her that it is in her best interest not to divulge any further details.

  I take a deep breath and squeeze the edge of my bed, determined to make it fully upright this time. My arms quiver and my stomach rolls but I push until I succeed. I press the back of my hand against my lips to still the bile rising much too quickly for me to control. I close my eyes and wait for the nausea to fade.

  “I figured it was only a matter of time until you disobeyed Donan’s orders,” Hyde calls out.

  I open my eyes to see him lounging against the wall. I never heard him approach, of course I was a tiny bit preoccupied with trying not to throw up all over myself. “Come to take a few jabs at the wounded girl?”

  Hyde’s jaw clenches but he forces a laugh, shaking his head. “Haven’t lost that whiplash tongue, I see. Gotta give you props for that. Nearly lost you on that operating table and here you are less than a day later trying to kill yourself. A fellow might wonder why.”

  I glare at him, fighting to make both figures of Hyde comes back into focus. “You know why.”

  He scratches his jaw. “Yeah, I figure I do. The question is, what would Eamon think about all of this?”

  I sneer up at him. “Leave my husband out of this.”

  “Hey,” he raises his hands in defense, “I’m not the one poking accusations here, Queeny. That guilt you got rolling around in that pretty little head of yours is all your own doing.”

  “Bastien saved my life,” I snap. My fingers curl so tightly around the edge of the cot to remain upright that they turn white. “I owe him.”

  “Sure.” He nods, pursing his lips. “We’ll let you live in denial for a bit longer if that makes you happy.”

  I roll my eyes and hang my head. The throbbing in my head is far worse than earlier when I attempted to rise. A sheen of sweat trails across my forehead. The floor rises up to meet me and I clench my eyes tightly shut. “Where am I?”

  Hyde tsks and moves the crate in front of me. “Already told you. I’m not a snitch. I don’t rat out friends.”

  “You brought me here.” I lift my head, feeling as if my collar has doubled in size and weight upon my shoulders. “You did that. Not me. You could have just as easily left me behind but you saved my hide twice now. You know what that tells me?”

  Hyde frowns. “Go on. Humor me.”

  I smile through the thick strands of hair that fall over my face. “I think you like me.”

  He snorts and crosses his arms over his chest. “The way I see it there isn’t too much about you that I do like, sweet cheeks.”

  My lip curls into a knowing smile. “You keep telling yourself that.”

  Hyde’s dark gaze narrows and he leans in close, near enough that I can smell the sweat on his brow. The air is cool in this room. Far too cool for him to be sweating. He must have just come from outside. “I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work. Donan’s orders are law around these parts. I intend to follow them, no matter how charming you may think you are.”

  He gives me a once over and I notice that his gaze lingers on my chest longer than it should. I grin, knowing that I am right. He may not like me, not in the traditional sense of enjoying someone’s company, but he does like what he sees. Maybe someday I’ll be able to use that to my advantage.

  When he catches me watching he snorts and shakes his head. “Natasha was right about you. I figured losing her brother did all sorts of wild and crazy things in that girl’s head. You should have seen her spitting like a wildcat when they brought you into our holding cell on that slave ship.” He whistles long and low. “It’s a good thing she was chained up cause I think you’re probably pretty attached to that nose of yours.”

  I lean in toward him, watching as his haughty gaze falters. Inwardly I smile. “I guess I’ll just have to watch my back.”

  Hyde smirks and rises. I lean back, pressing against the wall for support. He replaces the crate and turns back, his cocky smile firmly in place. “You just let me know if you ever need someone to watch that backside of yours. I’ll volunteer, being as we’re friends now and all.”

  I collapse back onto my cot. As exhaustion tugs me under I know that Hyde meant more by his words than an idle flirt. He will be watching me. Of that I am sure.

  TWENTY-ONE

  A chill sweeps over me sometime in the night. The thin blanket Vanata brought earlier in the evening, along with some food and water that I couldn’t force myself to eat, does little to protect me from it. Goosebumps rise along my arms and my teeth chatter with such intensity that I fear for the safety of my tongue. The tips of my fingers ache from clenching the edge of my cot.

  Where the heck am I? I wonder, knowing that even when I had Bastien’s body heat pressed against me I never felt this cold. I clench my eyes shut and try to focus on keeping my jaw locked. My thoughts are fragmented, like leaves strewn across a pond, each one floating on a different path and varying speed.

  I have no idea what time it is. My exhaustion is so complete that it doesn’t really matter if the light is on or not. Nor do I have a solid understanding of just how long I have been stuck here. Was it only yesterday that I last matched wits with Hyde? A part of me doesn’t think so. It seems like far more time has passed. Sleep seems to steal me away at a moment’s notice only for me to wake and realize that I’m still confined to this darn bed.

  Although it is only a hazy memory, I seem to remember Hyde coming to sit with me again at some point. He didn’t speak and he didn't come near. He just sat there, staring at the wall. After our last conversation I don’t blame him for not really wanting to speak to me. There is a definite air of awkwardness around him now.

  I really was only joking about him liking me, I think as I tuck the blanket under my chin, attempting to seal up any small spaces that might be allowing the cold in. A bump rises around my abdomen. I press my hand there, wondering how far along I really am.

  From time to time I hear voices in the hall beyond and realize that it must be day. Nighttime around here is usually pretty quiet. I hear the pounding of boots against stone echoing all around me. At my best guess I would say that I’m in some sort of military base that has been set up inside a cave system, though from what little I saw of the landscape I don’t know where this place could be. Between the swamps and stagnant marshland spreading along the horizon there is hardly a decent place to burrow into the landscape.

  What if I’m no longer on the same planet? What if Hyde had a way off and I’ve truly left Bastien behind? I shake my head. No. Donan said they were scouting the area for him. That means we are still here, but where the heck is here?

  No one has answered any of my questions since I arrived and I haven’t been strong enough to force them to. For many hours, possibly even days, I have wondered what lies beyond the far wall where everyone disappears after they check on me. Does that space open into a series of tunnels that run under the swamps? Maybe it is only a small space, bare
ly large enough to house the men staying here?

  I hear the familiar clatter of metal of my food tray and open my eyes to see Vanata approaching. Even in the dim lighting her eyes seem to glow from within, swirling like the sands of time. I find her gaze to be mesmerizing. I can’t imagine how any man could look into her eyes and not be affected by her.

  She sets the tray down on a low table beside me and sinks to her knees. Her brow furrows with concern as she places a hand on my forehead. “You burn with fever.”

  “And here I was going to complain about someone leaving a window open.” The feel of her hand against my forehead is soothing. I soak in the warmth despite knowing that internally I am on fire.

  “Hyde!” She shouts over her shoulder. He comes at a run, panting slightly. When he turns the corner his gaze instantly goes to me instead of her. “Help me strip her down.”

  “Wait! What?” His eyes widen, and if I didn’t feel so utterly miserable I would laugh at his confusion.

  “We have to get her temperature down and we don’t exactly have a supply of ice in this place. All we can do is remove her clothing and try to sponge bathe her.”

  His adam’s apple bobs as his gaze swivels to meet Vanata’s. “Make Natasha do it.”

  I bark out a laugh and erupt into a coughing fit that feels like shards of glass burrowing into my throat. My body aches as I clench, clutching my stomach until the spasms ease and I lay back, exhausted. Hyde shifts from foot to foot. “Didn’t take you to be such a prude,” I goad, my head lolling to the side. I try to look at him, to see around the fog that has settled over my eyes but all I can make out is a hazy figure in black.

  I don’t have to see him to know that he has bristled at my statement. “Natasha has more medical training than I do.”

  Vanata rises and begins rummaging through some items on the table beside my forgotten food tray. “It is not her training that I need. You are going to have to hold her down. The infection has begun to spread.”

  Hyde’s grabs onto Vanata and turns her. “You can’t do that to her.”

  She sighs and slowly pries his grip off her arm. “I may not have a choice. If we can’t get her fever under control it will be too late.”

  I blink as Hyde sinks down beside me. Up close I can see his concern. “You alright, Queeny?”

  “Is that concern I hear?” I offer him a weak smile.

  His hand falls over my arm, shielded by the thin layer of blanket that covers me. “I promise not to look too long.”

  “Might as well enjoy it while you can. It’s the only chance you’ll ever get.” I groan as another wave of fever chills ripple through me. My legs ache so badly tears spring to my eyes. His grip on my arm tightens. Slowly the shivers pass and I open my eyes again to find him watching me.

  “You’ve got a twisted sense of humor, you know that?” He shakes his head in amusement.

  “Yep. Been told that a time or two.” I watch as Vanata nods at Hyde. His expressions tightens and I can see an apology in his eyes as he draws the blanket back from me and begins unbuckling the sides of my top.

  I resurface from time to time, mostly in a less than lucid state. I see images in my mind of people that I have known and loved. Others feel familiar but I can’t remember a time when I have met them. They surround me, giving me warmth and healing life. I nearly weep when I see Eamon and Bastien on either side of my bed. They look happy, content, but there is something off about them though. A strange ripple of color surrounds them. Bastien kneels beside me, his aura a deep pulsating sapphire as he draws my hand up to his lips to kiss it. Eamon remains standing, his smile warm but his image begins to blur into something dark and wispy.

  I reach out for him, calling him to me but nothingness floods in, frigid and terrifying. I gasp for breath and bolt upright. One of my hands clutches my chest and the other feels the familiar canvas texture of my cot. I blink several times, forcing the shadowy images to fade from sight.

  Feeling unsettled, I begin focusing on the details of the room to bring myself back to reality. I stare long and hard at the table beside my bed. Across the top I see a row of medical tools, each polished silver and laid out in a jumbled disarray. My food tray has been knocked off onto the floor. The bread looks stale, hinting at a potential growth of new mold. It looks as if someone made an attempt to mop up the soup that spilled but the trace amounts that remain behind have congealed.

  The large stack of towels that once stood on the end of the long table are gone. I look up from the floor to see that the medicine cabinet door hangs open. I realize with a start that what had once been a very stocked and highly organized array has been scattered about. Bottles are overturned. Bandages have been strung about, fallen over and rolled along the floor. My gaze trails down the front of the cabinet and I spy a boot print.

  Squinting, I learn forward, wincing at the stabbing pain in my lower left leg but I need to see. Yes, there on the floor is a distinct boot print visible in a small pool of blood.

  Oh god! Have we been attacked? I glance around me, feeling woozy with pain but I fight to ignore it. Should I call out? Should I pretend to be asleep again?

  Surely if the Duturi had come for me I would not be here now. Maybe some of Drach’s men discovered us and the battle is still waging.

  Another stabbing pain in my leg forces me to acknowledge it. I reach down to massage just below my knee where the piece of metal broke off in my leg and turn my gaze toward the hall when I think I hear a noise. My hand presses against the blanket. I frown, straining to hear another sound but nothing comes again. I clench my fingers and grasp only a handful of blanket.

  A trembling begins in my fingers as dawning horror falls over me. I slowly turn to look at my leg and a pained whimper escapes my lips. The lower half of my left leg is gone. No, not gone. It has been cut away just below my knee.

  The lantern nearby flickers, casting shadows dancing on the wall. I throw my head back and a scream bursts from my throat, loud and shrieking. I’m barely aware of the pounding of footsteps from beyond my room until Hyde is at my side. His hands are on my shoulders, shaking me. I don’t look at him. All I can do is stare at my leg.

  “It’s gonna be ok, Illyria. Vanata took care of the infection. You’re gonna live.”

  “Live?” I gasp, cutting off my scream. I turn to look at him, feeling as if I have been thrust into a nightmare with no end. “How can I live without my leg? I can’t walk. Can’t fight. How can I hope to find Bastien if I can’t make it through the swamp?”

  With each question that I pose I can feel my panic rising to frantic heights. A buzzing begins to fill my ears and I blink, trying to think around the stampede of terrifying scenarios in my mind.

  “Not having part of your leg doesn’t change who you are.” His gaze drops away but the pressure of his hands upon my shoulders remains firm. “We had no choice. It was either take your leg or let you die. We made a call and I think when you calm down you will realize it was the right one.”

  I swallow hard against the acid rising into my throat. I feel sick, not physically but deep within my soul. I pull away from him, wanting no part of him to ever touch me again. “You should have let me die.”

  He rears back, horror plainly written on his face. “How can you say that?”

  Tears stream freely from my eyes as I look back down at my leg. Now that I really look I can see a rise in the blanket around my knee and realize Vanata must have wrapped my leg in the towels to staunch the bleeding. “What good am I if I can’t defend myself here? There are people out there hunting for me. What happens if they find me and I can’t protect myself?”

  Hyde grips the edge of my bed and leans in. “We won’t let anything happen to you. I promise that.”

  I snort and wipe at my nose. “You can’t promise me anything.”

  The muscle along his jaw flinches and I can tell he’s fighting with his emotions. “There are things going on here that you don’t understand. Things that I can’t tell you.�
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  “Fine.” I shout back, slamming my fists down onto the bed on either side of me. “Who cares anyways? You want to keep me in the dark? That’s fine by me. I don’t care anymore. Just leave me alone.”

  Hyde’s grabs me by the arm and shakes me, forcing me to turn and look at him. His horror is gone. It has been replaced with anger. “So that’s it? You just give up? After everything you have been through, everything you have survived you’re going to let something like this destroy you?”

  Remorse as sharp as a blade steals my breath away. I clutch my arms about my stomach as I draw my one whole leg up toward my chest, curling in on myself. My silent tears turn into gut wrenching sobs.

  How much more do I have to give? My home? Bastien? My children? Now my leg? I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t.

  “You wouldn’t understand,” I mutter, my voice sounding distant and dispassionate in my ears.

  “No.” Hyde says, letting go of my shoulders. He sinks forward onto his knees and grabs hold on my hand, drawing it away from my face to hold it in his. “Maybe I don’t know everything that you’ve been through. I don’t know what it was like having to have to face down Drakon on your own, or be forced to marry Aloysius or give up your freedom for the sake of everyone, but I do know one thing…” he waits until I look over at him. “I know that you are a fighter. Fighters never give up, no matter how far down they have fallen.”

  I brush my hair back from my face, blowing out an unsteady breath. With every part of me I want to let go, to finally be free of this life. What has it brought me besides more pain than any one person should bear? Bastien may be dead. Eamon too. How can I possibly go on when everything and everyone that I have loved may be gone?