Nu Alpha Omega

by H. Claire Taylor

  “I’m not even tired yet,” she panted. “I mean, I’m panting, but I feel like I could do that twelve more times.”

  “Thirteen,” Chris said from his position atop her.

  “I think we should try some new ways, though. I’m worried I’ll never get another dream like this.”

  Chris laughed and shook his head. “Man, you keep saying that. It’s crazy.”

  “Saying what?”

  “Talking like this is your dream. I must have gotten better at lucid dreaming than I even realized.”

  “But it is my dream,” she said uncertainly. “I think I’d know if it weren’t.”

  Chris pulled back but not out. “Uh, I think I’d know if it weren’t my dream.”

  “Oh shit.” It was so obvious. So damn obvious. “This is a Jesus dream!”

  She felt Chris grow soft, which seemed the appropriate reaction. “But he’s not here.”

  Jessica pressed her palms into her eyes to clear her head. “Yes, but still. I think it’s like a Jesus dream, in that we’re both dreaming it. We’re having the same dream, Chris.”

  “How is that possible?”

  She opened her eyes to stare up at him, his angel face haloed by the moon. “I don’t know, but you know what it means, right?”

  He nodded, an equal mixture of fear and awe swirling in his eyes. “We just had dream sex.”

  * * *

  There were quite a few moral and philosophical questions that went along with dream sex, none of which Jessica’s mind was prepared to explore as she woke up in the soft morning light of Chris’s bedroom. Her mind rapidly populated the memory gaps of the night before. Chris had picked her up outside Mason’s apartment and then drove her straight back to his apartment, not Mooretown. Then he’d told her she could have the bed, and he’d slept on the couch.

  So wait. Was the whole thing about Mason’s songs true or not?

  Not the important part, McCloud!

  But she hoped it was true, because it might help alleviate the guilt she felt about dream cheating on her boyfriend.

  Is it cheating?

  DOES IT MATTER?

  Oh no. Could you see … were you watching?

  MORE OR LESS. BUT I WATCH A LOT OF DREAMS. EVEN THE MOST EXPANSIVE TO THE DREAMER ONLY LAST A FEW GOD SECONDS.

  No, please don’t say God seconds is a thing.

  I SHALL BECAUSE IT IS. YOU THOUGHT I WAS CONFINED TO YOUR SLOW PERCEPTION OF TIME?

  I know I should ask more about this, because it seems important to both science and religion, but I can’t. My brain hurts. And I don’t think it would change anything anyway.

  IT WOULD NOT.

  So am I still a virgin?

  I THOUGHT YOU WERE NO LONGER USING THAT TERM.

  She groaned. True. But does it count as sex?

  CONSIDERING I LET IT HAPPEN, THE ANSWER SHOULD BE OBVIOUS TO YOU.

  No?

  NO.

  While something about that annoyed her—why wouldn’t God just let her have real sex?!—a bigger, louder thought erupted:

  Oh shit. I found a loophole.

  THERE IS ALWAYS A LOOPHOLE. I VERY MUCH ENJOYED CREATING THE CONCEPT. IT CAME AFTER BOOMERANGS BUT BEFORE BUREAUCRACY. IT WAS ACTUALLY WHAT GAVE ME THE IDEA FOR BUREAUCRACY.

  So can I dream bang people as much as I want?

  LET’S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY. CHRISTOPHER IS A SPECIAL SITUATION.

  Because he’s an angel?

  EXACTLY.

  That feels elitist.

  IT IS. IT IS THE ORIGINAL ELITISM. BUT IF YOU WANT THINGS TO BE FAIR, LET ME KNOW AND —POOF!—DREAM SEX WILL NO LONGER BE A POSSIBILITY FOR ANGELS. OR YOU.

  No, no. I think I’m okay with this elitism.

  Her body still tingled from orgasms uncountable. No, the elitism could stay. Mmm … elitism.

  The sound of pots and pans clacking, the sink turning on, and cabinets opening and closing again pulled her out of her head and into her physical surroundings.

  I guess I should go talk with Chris.

  She rolled out of bed and realized she was still in her clothes from last night. Then the rest of the night came back to her in unwanted flashes. There was Kate yelling “pigfucker” at Courtney, Mason sitting naked on the bed with a hard dick and his guitar, and most upsetting of all, the pained look of longing on Chris’s face when she’d hurriedly said goodnight and left him on the couch before heading into his room to pass out on his bed, which he’d offered up willingly enough.

  With the memory of his expression like a fresh wound in her mind, she cracked open the bedroom door, and peered out into the kitchen. Chris wore only a pair of boxer briefs, tented shamelessly as he hummed to himself and merrily cracked two eggs on the frying pan.

  Slowly approaching the breakfast bar, she said, “Morning.”

  Chris turned around, and his grin spread wider. “Well hello there.” Then, as she sat herself on a tall stool overlooking the counter and the kitchen beyond, he added, “Sleep well?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her, and she laughed as the heavy worry in her chest seemed to explode and float away on a strong breeze.

  “I did. I had the strangest dream.”

  “Oh yeah?” He set a steaming cup of coffee down in front of her. “You should tell me about it in graphic detail after breakfast.”

  God, she’d missed him. She got up from her stool and walked around to stand in front of him. “Why wait?”

  He grunted and pulled her in close. As she stared up into his familiar blue eyes, she almost lost track of where she was in time and space.

  “I missed you,” she said.

  His eyes flickered down to her lips. “You don’t even know.”

  She went in for the kiss, but he pushed her gently back. “Wait.” He reached for his phone, and before her startled outrage could gain momentum, she realized what he was doing. The familiar music played through the stereo in the living room.

  She chuckled as Chris returned and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in.

  “I like this version better,” she said.

  “Mason may be a total douche, but at least he had enough sense to rip off a good band.” Chris shook his head and chuckled lightly. “I don’t know what it is about this song, but it just hits me, you know?”

  She giggled as Chris began swaying them slowly to the rhythm. “What’s this one actually called?”

  “Angel.”

  Ah. Okay. About that. Maybe she should mention—

  But before she could, he lowered his lips to hers and she forgot about everything until the smell of eggs burning reminded her that nothing could ever be truly perfect.

  But maybe things could still be pretty good.

  Something about getting dream laid provided much-needed mental clarity for Jessica. Was this why adults were so set on kids not having sex? Because it would allow them to cut through the layers upon layers of bullshit that kept them from thinking for themselves?

  Or maybe she was over caffeinated and that’s why she felt clear minded and determined, but she was pretty sure it was the dream boning.

  Chris had hitched a ride with one of his teammates over to the gym, leaving Jessica the keys to his truck in case she needed to get around town. Had he known what she would use his truck to do? Probably. Man, had everyone known how doomed her relationship with Mason was? Clearly.

  Well, everyone except her.

  Even Mason hadn’t seemed all that shocked when she’d arrived at his place earlier that afternoon and told him it was over.

  It sure would be nice if being God’s daughter meant I wasn’t always the last to know things.

  While parking on campus was a veritable nightmare during the week, Saturdays were a different story, and she found parking only a little ways from the business school without much trouble. She didn’t have to wonder if Dr. Bell would be in her office—the woman never seemed to leave.

  And then there was the chance that Dr. Bell’s angelic intuition would have told her to be in her
office because that’s where Jessica would go to find her. Maybe. Who even knew how all that worked. After the mention of God seconds, she wasn’t particularly keen to probe too far into those mysteries. She had enough complications on her plate in human time alone.

  When Jessica knocked on the frame of Dr. Bell’s open office door, the woman was engrossed in her work, typing on her laptop like the keys needed to be subdued through brute force.

  “Wish I could say I was surprised to see you here today, Jessica.”

  “Back at ya.” Jessica scooted out the vacant chair and inhaled deeply. “I broke up with Mason.”

  Dr. Bell nodded. Apparently she had realized the relationship was doomed, too. “And how’d that go?”

  Jessica shrugged. “Fine. He acted sad at first, but it became obvious he was more worried about whether or not I’d allow him to continue writing songs about me. I told him I wouldn’t stop him. Then I suggested he listen to this cool band whose music I thought he’d like.” She paused, her mind puzzling over his response once again. “He said he’d never heard of them. And I think he meant it.” That wasn’t why she was here, though. “Doesn’t matter. I’ve made a few decisions.”

  “Wow. You do realize most college students take the weekend to not think about things, right?”

  “Hm. Must be nice.”

  “So what did you decide?”

  Jessica sat up straight in her chair. Dr. Bell wouldn’t like what she was about to say, but the angel would come to support it eventually. “I’m dropping out of college.”

  Bell didn’t even blink; she continued staring at Jessica like nothing had been said. A few seconds later, Dr. Bell blinked and said. “Yes, I think that’s best.”

  “You … what?”

  Dr. Bell sighed. “In the few years I’ve known you, I’ve never heard you speak with such conviction. Kate told me what happened between you two last night. You seem to be on quite a roll, so sure, why not drop out?”

  “Huh. I didn’t expect you to support this.”

  Dr. Bell leaned back and shook her head. “Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a crazy idea, but sometimes a decision, any decision, is better than not knowing what we want. Do you know how many young ladies I’ve seen come to campus and leave without ever learning that they could make a decision for their life? I suppose you’ve talked with your Father about this?”

  Jessica shook her head. “Not about this. Just about Chris.”

  Raising an eyebrow, Bell asked casually, “And what about Chris?” The corners of her mouth twitched slightly upward.

  “Um. It’s a long story, but we had a shared dream and … um, I think we’re back together. Or we will be soon.”

  Bell laughed. “You two had dream sex, didn’t you?”

  Jessica’s mouth fell open. “Huh?”

  The professor nodded. “Yep. I knew something seemed different about you.”

  “What do you mean?” Was it really that obvious?

  “You’re happy. And you finally know what you want.”

  Jessica squinted skeptically. “So sex does that for people? It’s not just the coffee?”

  Dr. Bell leaned forward. “Good sex does that. Not just any sex.” She leaned back again.

  But Jessica wasn’t here to talk about sex with her angel professor. “I started a list last night of all the things I need to get started on a bakery. I think I could have them all within a few months.”

  Bell pressed her lips together and nodded minutely. “I’m sure you could. You might still be a little raw about NAO, but if nothing else, hasn’t it shown you your ability to gather people to you?”

  Jessica shrugged. “I guess so. But it was more Kate who did the gathering.”

  “Well sure, and she’ll continue to do that if you ask. But you attracted Kate in the first place. So just attract more Kates, and for each one you find, she’ll bring in twelve more. It’s called networking.”

  “And what about you?” This was the main reason Jessica had made this trip on a Saturday. She may have Dr. Bell’s approval, but she needed more than that. She needed her support and guidance if this crazy idea was going to work. “Can I count on you?”

  The professor narrowed her eyes not unkindly and a soft chuckle seemed to jostle her chest. “I’m not opposed to working pro bono, given the right situation.”

  “What about a former student who wants to drop out of college and start a gluten-free bakery? Would that be the right situation?”

  Bell pretended to think about it. “Hmm … it would depend on a few things.”

  “What if I told you this student was the daughter of God?”

  “Ah yes. As long as she truly believed that, then I would say yes.”

  Jessica stood. “My people will be in touch.” She struggled to keep a straight face.

  Bell stood as well. “As yes, very good. Have your people call my people.”

  As Jessica reached the doorway, she turned. “Thanks for all your help.”

  Dr. Bell waved her off. “Thanks for being the messiah. Somebody around here had to be, and shit, better you than me.”

  * * *

  The student fitness center was somewhere Jessica had been meaning to visit for years but never gotten around to, due to a whole heaping pile of bullshit—just one thing after another, it seemed.

  She swiped her ID and entered the giant indoor complex. Holy shit. This was like a city in and of itself. A handsome student in a sleeveless tee smiled at her from behind the smoothie bar counter. She smiled back out of habit before thinking, There’s a fucking smoothie bar in here and I never knew? What other magical secrets did this place hold? Is this why tuition was so high?

  It didn’t matter. She was here on a mission. Bell’s support had only added momentum to her already momentous day, and she wanted to put everything back to where it should have been this whole time. Then she wanted to have a bunch of dream sex. Like, days of it. Years, maybe. Those were her priorities: prepare for life and have dream sex with Chris. But not in that order.

  A male student she’d never seen in her life caught her eye as he approached from the opposite direction. “You looking for Chris?”

  “Uh, yes, actually.”

  He nodded. “He was doing leg presses last time I saw him.”

  She gazed around the large space. Just below where she stood was a room of exercise equipment. She scanned the faces, but didn’t spot Chris.

  “No,” said the stranger, “that’s the aerobic stuff. You’re looking for weight training. That’s around the corner and down the hall, then take a left where you hear the grunting.”

  “Thanks.”

  He smirked at her. “No problem, Jess.”

  Was this guy an angel or just someone Chris had already bragged to about last night?

  She followed the sound of grunting, and as soon as she entered into the huge weight room, her eyes locked onto Chris. He was already staring at her, as if he knew she’d appear in the doorway, and she motioned for him to come and he scooted off the ab machine and followed her out into the hallway, where he stood over her, grinning shamelessly. “Couldn’t stand to be away from me?”

  “No. Well, yes, but that’s not entirely why I’m here.”

  He nodded confidently. “Okay. What’s up?”

  “I’m dropping out.” She thought ripping the Band-Aid off quickly was best.

  “Of … college?”

  She nodded.

  “You sure about that?”

  She nodded more adamantly.

  “You’re never sure of things, Jess, so I guess this is good.”

  “It is. There’s something else I’m sure of.”

  He bit back a smile, as if he already knew. “Yeah? What’s that?”

  “I love you and I think we should head back to your place immediately and take some NyQuil together.”

  He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in. He didn’t smell great, but she dealt with it like a champ. “I thought you’d never ask
.” Then he paused and his expression changed. “But there’s, um, something I should tell you first. And maybe you’ll still want to be with me, maybe not.” He let go of her and stepped away, and her heart began to race.

  “I’m sure it’s fine, whatever it is.”

  Oh my god! What is it?!

  He looked at her sideways. “We’ll see.” Inhaling deeply, he looked around to make sure no one else could hear. “I’m, uh, well, this might sound crazy, but I think— no, I know that I’m an … angel.” He whispered the last word and then grimaced.

  Jessica felt the tension ease out of her shoulders. “I know.”

  “You know?”

  “Yeah. I know.”

  “So you don’t care that I’m an angel?”

  Jessica shook her head. “Not at all. It’s the only reason we could do what we did last night, actually.”

  His eyes popped open as he stared vaguely at the air above her head. “Oh wow. That’s lucky. Then I guess I’m glad I’m an angel, too.” His gratitude slipped back into concern, though, as he returned his attention to her face. “How does your Father feel about you and an angel being together? I mean, I don’t know how the family tree stuff works. Are we related? We’re not cousins, are we?”

  “I don’t know how all that works, but he says he’s okay with it.”

  “Well shit! Why are we still talking, then? Let me grab my wallet, then I’m taking you home.”

  He turned to run back into the weight room, but she grabbed his arm before he could get more than a step away from her.

  She yanked him toward her, pressing full against his sweaty body, and he didn’t hesitate this time. He leaned down and his soft lips found hers.

  There was a distinct chance that she was making all the wrong decisions today—maybe she would regret dropping out and leaving NAO behind and maybe waiting a little longer before making up her mind on all these important things would’ve been wise—but screw it.

  After a life that had felt like nothing but one inescapable catastrophe after another, she’d finally found a single loophole and she’d be damned if she didn’t hold onto it tight, ingest copious amounts of NyQuil (as needed), and never let it go.