Counting Up To Infinity

by Allen Fleishman

  “How did you know what Phyllis said to me?”

  David smiled as he exited the room, “Rod, I’m a married man. I agree with everything my wife says, has said, or will ever say.”

  ***

  At three in the afternoon, David received a phone call. The voice was female. “David Klein?”

  “Yes”

  “One second and I’ll connect you.”

  “David? David Klein?” David immediately recognized the voice as belonging to Vice Present Chamberlain.

  “Yes”, David slowed his talking down 50% then said, “Who is this?”

  “This is Vice President Chamberlain. I was wondering if you and I could meet.”

  “I’ll have to ask my father.”

  “No, no, it’s ok. I’m the Vice-President. This will just be a meeting between you and me. OK? I’ll have someone pick you up in front of your building right now. I’m very busy, so you have to hurry.”

  In a slow and deliberate voice David said, “OK Mister.”

  The vice president chuckled and hung up.

  David went to the men’s restroom and notified his extended family of his meeting.

  Phyllis: Be careful, I get odd feelings about that man.

  David: Oh, I agree, the guy’s slimy, I just feel it. Don’t worry. You can follow me through my camera or Eagle One’s or Sniffer’s. I’m also activating a swarm of my ‘eyes’.

  David found a car waiting for him. David poked his head into the driver’s window, “Sorry I was late, but I had to tinkle.” Coincidently, it was enough time for the bird and dog to get suited up and fly overhead. Smiling, the driver let him in and immediately pulled off. The swarm of microscopic eyes flew an inch behind the rear bumper. The driver was constantly checking in the rear view mirror in case anyone followed him. Despite the opaque windows, David noticed that they took a roundabout way and finally entered an office complex. Sniffer and Eagle One were following very closely. Both were stealthed and flying above the car.

  David was lead into an office suite with the name of Barkley Shipping on the wall. The receptionist was a tall beefy man, wearing sunglasses and an earplug. David did a computer search and quickly realized that this was the location of a FBI field office. No one noticed the swarm as it traveled along the ceiling and floor.

  The man got up, smiled and asked, “Do you mind if I search you?” Before David had a chance to say anything, the man patted him down then checked for bugs and metal objects. The machine picked up metal in his glasses. David put the glasses down and no further metal was picked up. David made sure to turn off his transmitter while the check was made. He was also very thankful that his computer was now installed within his body. He had made sure that it contained only microscopic amounts of metal. David picked up his glasses.

  “You’ll have to leave your cell phone here. We’ll return it later.”

  “I ain’t got one.”

  The agent sat down and said something quietly into a telephone. Sniffer handed David his force-field generator back and it was put into his back pocket. The door opened and a secret service man escorted David into the room with the Vice-President. Both Sniffer and Eagle One entered as well, taking positions in the shadows near the ceiling. Two hundred and six members of the swarm entered as well.

  In a very friendly voice the Vice-President said, “David, David, how very nice you could make it. It’s good to see you again.”

  David made his mouth open and started breathing through his mouth. He made the muscles on his face limp, and allowed his wrist to be at a 10-degree bend.

  Martin: David, what the hell are you doing? You look like a retardate.

  David continued a dull stare at Mr. Chamberlain.

  David: Just that, Dad. He just got some FAXes. I’m playing an angle

  The Vice-President looked at some FAXes, “I see you never went to school.”

  “No sir, my daddy didn’t think that I were meant to go to school. He said I was special.”

  “You never got a diploma?”

  “No sir.” David looked very earnest.

  “How would you like it if I were able to get you a diploma?”

  Dave straightened up, “A real high school diploma? I’d like that sir. A diploma just like everyone else?”

  Phyllis: David, stop hamming it up.

  She saw an image of David with hay in his mouth rocking on a front porch grinning at her. Twenty jokes about how the hick farmer foiled the city slicker were delivered to Phyllis. She ignored them.

  The Vice-President brightened, “Yes, just like everyone else. But I need to ask you a few questions.”

  David shrugged. “Sure.”

  “Do you know anything about how to make things invisible?”

  David looked puzzled, and then said, “Like Sniffer.”

  “Yes, just like Sniffer.”

  “Yes, Sniffer is often invisible.” David smiled as if he just figured something hard out.

  “Do you know how the dog is invisible?”

  “I heard that they can do it.”

  “But how?”

  David looked at the Vice-President and had a big puppy-dog smile, “Sniffer sure is a fun dawg.”

  The Vice-President sighed. “What about making people or things fly?”

  David brightened. “They built a park where everyone can fly. I was told I could go and fly too.”

  “Could people fly anywhere?”

  David scratched his crotch as he said with some deliberation, “I think I was told that we could only fly in the park, but not too high.”

  “Do you think you could get us one of these suits that could make you fly?”

  David looked confused and hesitantly said, “I don’t know. I can ask my daddy.” His face brightened.

  “No, no. That’s ok. What about Charlie Haines? Have you ever met him?”

  “Yes. He speaks to my daddy often.”

  “Do you know anything about the way he gets things to float?”

  “I heard that Charlie invented two and a half new types of arithmetic. You know like adding and subtracting. I didn’t understand that. Charlie said that only two other people could understand it. He said I was in good company.” David stuck out his chest in pride.

  “What can you tell me about materials that can’t be damaged?”

  “Iron and steel can’t be hurt much.” David said triumphantly.

  “What about something harder?”

  “Dad said that diamonds are very, very hard.”

  “Yes, say someone wanted to hurt you, where would you go so they couldn’t hit you.”

  “Well, if someone wanted to hurt me I’d go away so they couldn’t hit me. Dad says if someone tries to hurt you, you should be real nice and tell them that if they do then they could get into a whole lot of trouble.”

  Martin screamed online at David: Stop the melodrama. You’re overdoing it.

  David honestly continued, “Nobody ever tried to hit me. Not even my daddy, even though he does get angry sometimes.”

  “He gets angry at you?” The Vice-President had a crocodile smile.

  “Yes.”

  “Why does he get angry with you?”

  “Oh, if I did something he doesn’t like. Say when I say things I’m not supposed to or if I don’t do like he asks.”

  Martin: I do not get angry David. I was just saying you’re overdoing it.

  The image reappeared of David spitting some tobacco five feet into a spittoon.

  “Are you his beneficiary?”

  “His Benny Fishery?”

  “If something happened to him, like he died, what would happen to all of his things?”

  “Oh, he once told me that if anything happened to him, it would all go to me.” David looked very proud.

  Corey: David, you know that was changed when we all get married.

  David: I did say ‘once’, in this case when I was 10 years old.
Nothing I’ve said today is even a partial falsehood.

  Martin: I don’t like the way this conversation is headed.

  David: Neither do I, Dad. I’m going to leave a swarm and ask Sniffer to direct them.

  Martin: You’re going to bug the Vice-President of the United States? David this is wrong, very wrong.

  Phyllis: I agree. David, you’re going a bit too far.

  David: I think he’s planning to eliminate both of you, and Charlie Haines, as well.

  “Do you know when Charlie is going to visit your dad next?”

  “Charlie likes my daddy, he comes and sees him often.”

  “Every day?”

  “I guess.”

  “OK, David, I want to thank you for coming, I just have one simple favor. Can you keep a secret?” David solemnly shook his head. “I don’t want you to tell your daddy anything that happened today. Can you do that?”

  David furrowed his bow, pursed his lips and nodded. “I give you my word that I won’t tell him what you said. Cross my heart and hope to die. If you want to tell him, it’d be the only way he’s going to know. Straight outta your mouth.”

  David shook his head yes then picked up an imaginary key, put it in his mouth and turned it. Then he threw the imaginary key away. David grinned.

  David did not move, even though the secret service agent took his arm. “You promised that I’d get a diploma first. You promised.”

  The Vice-President muttered something then picked up a phone and spoke to someone to send David Klein a diploma.

  David interrupted, “From a real school?”

  Phyllis transmitted to David an image of her rolling her eyes.

  Phyllis was rewarded with an image of David sitting on the porch with a 5 foot by 5 foot giant document which said ‘Hi Scool Graz-you-8’.

  The Vice-President echoed, “from a regular high school.”

  David was escorted out. The swarm and Sniffer remained

  After David had left, one of the secret service agents said to the Vice President, “Do you think that was real? It wasn’t an act? It didn’t seem real to me.”

  Vice-President Chamberlain grinned, “Robert, the average intelligence in America is 100, for every genius with an IQ of 150, there has to be an imbecile with an IQ of 50. In fact, only the dumb poor are having children now, contaminating America. Why do you think my son went to a private school? The electorate has gotten dumb and has been getting dumber. They fall for whatever we tell them. I’m going to have to make some phone calls. Please leave.” Robert left the room.

  The Vice-President sat for a while then dialed in three numbers.

  David: Damn, speed dial. I can’t tell who he’s calling.

  “Bobby, this is Frank. I just spoke to the son of C H Electricity’s owner. He may be perfect. He’s a retard. Alternatively, we may be able to throw the company into chaos by having Martin Klein’s cousins battle it out in the courts. The only thing that bothers me is the Chek, who promised to crack the hard drive, hasn’t produced. But it may be for the best. The Arabs and Chinese can’t get it either.”

  David: Dad, I think its time to change your will. I wonder what his reaction would be if after the ‘family’, the company all went to Fidel Castro or the Head of the Chinese Communist party, the bastard.

  Martin: You know he would only nationalize it. Now, hush up David.

  At the other end of the phone a man’s voice said, “Mr. Vice-President how can I help?”

  Frank Chamberlain smiled, “They aren’t co-operating with us and I can’t risk those pinko-bastards selling out to our enemies. Can you supply the money for some hit-men to take them out? And to pay off the General? One of our bunker-buster missiles is going to get lost.”

  The voice at the other end said, “Can’t you get one of your people to do that? The hit-men know nothing about guided missiles.”

  “Ah, plausible deniability. There’s going to be a lot of heat as it is with the missile being stolen from one of our supply depots. My Army man can say to a lie detector that he’s trained many, many people in the use of guided missile targeting, but he has to be somewhere where he has a bulletproof alibi. I’ll give you a date. You have them do the rest. Your people will just have to point and shoot. No more free energy. No more oil at $15 per barrel. It will be up to $150 by the end of the year. Coal will skyrocket in price. Eventually when the fossil fuels run out, your people will rediscover the Barnes-Haines gravity equations and make new generators. But that won’t be for some time. And no more of this ten cents on the dollar crap either. Development costs!”

  The Vice-President remained on the phone for a bit of chitchat, and then hung up. He sat back and dialed a new number.

  David said online, “Got it Dad. An office at the Aberdeen Proving Grounds.”

  “Mitch, this is Franklin Chamberlain, I’m activating Operation Ashtray. I repeat, Operation Ashtray is active. I’ll be contacting you next week with where I want you to send the bird. You’ll need to make sure you have some training material made up also, along with aerial recognizance of the C H Electricity building south of Atlanta. I hope you’re right that a novice should be able to fly it, because that’s who you’ll be working with.”

  The deep voice asked, “Mr. Vice-President, do you have the authorization from President Cooper?”

  “Yes.”

  “Any questions?”

  “No sir.”

  They hung up.

  The Vice-President leaned back for a few seconds then picked up the phone and speed dialed again.

  “Betsy, this is Franklin, get me the President, will you?”

  “Thomas, this is Franklin. I spoke to Haines myself today. He’s digging his heels in. He makes cars and people levitate. But they refused to allow the army to have that type of mobility.”

  The voice of President Thomas Cooper said, “This is intolerable. Our boys need any and all advantages they can get.”

  “Yes, I told them that it was a threat to our national security. They also can make things invisible. I’ve confirmed this when they had an invisible dog lick my face.”

  “You saw an invisible dog?”

  “Well Mr. President, I actually didn’t see the dog for long. After licking me, the dog, a beagle, briefly appeared, then immediately disappeared. My secret service detail also, shall we say, hardly witnessed anything either, hehe. Haines also implied that they might even have special invulnerable plating and unlimited weaponry. We can’t let this get out. I’ve given General Mitchell the go-ahead for Operation Ashtray.”

  “OK. I want you personally to take charge of this. If any word gets out, we’re in deep, deep shit.”

  “Yes, I will take control of the details. The least you know the better. I recommend that for the next two weeks you keep using the old Air Force One. Have you looked into the after effects of the elimination?”

  The President said, “Yes, first you’re going to need to have some Al Queida literature all around the missile launcher. It will give us needed momentum for our Home Security push and get the people behind us. It will mean the presidency for you Franklin. We’re also going to have some way to link the Arabs to the theft of the missile. Perhaps we can have a shoot-out at Aberdeen?”

  The Vice-President paused, “Sorry sir. Mitchell was very adamant that none of his people were to get hurt. He said we could give one of his guards something to put him out. He has a patsy in mind. He’s also going to make sure that the security system has one of its bad air days. Hehe.”

  “Sounds like you’ve thought of everything. OK, proceed but keep me out of the loop.”

  David: I’ve already dispatched nine hundred swarm ‘eyes’ to Aberdeen. Slinky, could you supervise them? I want everything General Mitchell says or does to be recorded. Anyone else who’s in this also gets monitored. I’m going to research who this Bobby is.

  ***

  The next day
David appeared in Rod’s office holding a box. “Rod, we need your help.”

  “Sure thing. How can I help?”

  David gestured for Rod to follow as he left the office with Rod in tow. They headed toward the elevator that opened as they approached.

  “We need to attach these to the roof.” David indicated some pencil like units in the box. Rod picked one out. The base was the shape of a fountain pen with a clear plastic disk/cap on one end. The cap was only a quart of an inch in diameter.

  “What are they, David?”

  “Those are infra-red and visible light cameras. They have zoom lenses, with a 60x telephoto lens. The camera can extend and bend to give a full 350 degrees almost spherical view. We need to place them on the roof. Charlie Haines said too much yesterday.”

  “No problem, did you bring anything to attach them with, Charlie?” Roderick said ‘Charlie’ with a totally deadpan expression.

  David paused, looked Roderick up and down, and then resumed walking. David quietly said “Charlie? No, please call me David.” David had a half-grin as he said, “I brought some standard epoxy and duct-tape.”

  On the top floor, there was a short ladder leading to the roof. As they approached, Roderick heard a series of deadbolts click open. David climbed up, grabbed the box from Roderick and then Rod followed up the ladder.

  “Where and how would you place them?” David asked.

  “First I would make sure the entranceway and roadway are covered.” Rod looked around and pointed to the front corners of the building. “There and there.”

  David watched as Rod glued, then carefully taped the cameras so they had a full view of the entranceway and road.

  “I recommend we come back later to paint the tape the same color as the roof. What type break-in are you expecting?”

  “I’m expecting it to come from the air.”

  “What defenses do you have? It has to be more than the lobby rent-a-watchman.”

  “Uh, we can throw up a force field.”

  “That might not be good enough. Can you have some antigravity units made which are say 4 inches in size and stealthed?”

  David grinned, “Yes, that’s easy.”

  “Can they have a force field and one of these cameras?”

  David nodded. “Actually, the stealth units have cameras all around themselves.”