Kyle shrugged, sitting back. “You know me, man. I don’t like anyone who is that happy and chatty all the time.”
We both chuckled before falling silent again.
“So you and Honor?”
I sighed, rubbing a hand down my face. “Broken up.”
He nodded.
“It would have happened anyway,” I said, leaning forward. “She might be going to school in New York, and I couldn’t see a long-distance relationship really working out between us.”
“I see,” he said. “That’s definitely not the best situation.”
“I could have gone about it better, I suppose.”
He smiled. “We all fuck up, dude. It’s what us men do. But if this is ultimately what you wanted, then I guess it all worked out in the end.”
He was watching me closely, and it was making me nervous. Standing, I told him I was going to go sketch for a while and left him alone. I made a point to text Colt and apologize too. His response was pretty much the same as Kyle’s. For some reason, that didn’t make me feel any better about it.
I threw myself into work for the next week. If I didn’t have appointments, I was still at the shop working on new designs, or finishing up ones for upcoming clients. The less time I spent in my apartment, the better. The one space that had always been my sanctuary away from everyone else was now my torture.
I couldn’t sleep in my bed without thinking of Honor lying in hers on the other side of the wall. Her scent still lingered on the extra pillow I had in my bed. It had driven me nuts, to the point I’d had to throw it across the room so I’d stop leaning into it.
Being alone was no longer nice. It was just…lonely. I missed having someone there.
No, not someone. Her. I missed having Honor there.
When I’d gone to Mom and Dad’s that week, I’d avoided all questions and curious looks whenever someone mentioned her. I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it. I was sure Mom knew anyway the second I walked into the house. She always knew shit before we told her.
By the end of the week I felt like a walking zombie. I wasn’t eating properly, and I hadn’t had a decent sleep since the last night Honor had slept over. I was starting to wonder if I ever would.
“Hey,” Kyle said, walking into my station and leaning against the counter.
“What’s up?” I said, looking up from the drawing of a skull I’d been working on.
“The guys and I are going to go out for drinks tonight. Rannon’s been all moody lately for some reason, so we’re going to try and cheer him up. You want to come?”
“I don’t know,” I said. Even the thought of alcohol made me feel queasy after the amount I’d had that night.
“Come on, man. You can’t wallow in this shit forever.”
“I’m not wallowing.”
I heard a snort, and looked over to see Cat smirking, her eyes looking down at a magazine she was flipping through, even though I knew she was listening to us. She’d been giving me the evil eye all week, and had barely said a word directly to me.
I looked back at Kyle who was wearing an almost identical smirk to his sister’s.
“I’m not,” I insisted.
He shrugged. “Fine, you’re not. Either way, Ran was there for you, so you need to come out and be there for him tonight.”
Well, fuck. Now I felt bad.
Sighing, I said okay. Kyle slapped my shoulder as he walked away, and I couldn’t help but feel like I’d just gotten played.
***
We’d gone to two bars, and by the third I was ready to go home. It was nice to go out with just the guys, but my mind wasn’t in it. I wanted to be home, alone, where I wasn’t forced to make conversation with people when I didn’t feel like it.
As soon as we entered the newest bar, I knew things were going to go bad. Chloe came running up to Kyle with a happy squeal, wrapping her arms around his neck as they shared a passionate kiss that had my stomach turning.
I looked away from them to see Cat by the bar chatting up some dude. Everything inside me stiffened in apprehension. My eyes swept over the crowd, even though every ounce of self-preservation inside me told me not to. I should have just turned and left. Still, I looked at every face until I found the one I was looking for.
She was there, looking as beautiful as always, if not more so. Honor stood on the dance floor, her body moving effortlessly to the music pounding through the speakers as though she were directly connected to it. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her.
Then two arms wrapped around her tiny waist, pulling her against a male chest. My eyes rose to see Adrien smiling down at her, his grin that drunken, crooked kind that most guys had when they’d been drinking.
I started moving, warning bells ringing in my mind. No matter how much I told myself not to, to just leave and forget her, my feet kept moving.
Chapter 27
Honor
The girls had been relentless with begging me to come out tonight. I hadn’t felt like it. I hadn’t felt like doing anything. All week I’d been holed up in my apartment, working on my schoolwork and routine for the audition. That’s exactly what I should have been doing tonight, but Cat was nothing if not persistent.
So I found myself at the bar, dressed up in some sexy number Chloe had lent me, and dancing all my troubles away. Despite my initial hesitation, it was actually nice to get out and let loose. When Adrien showed up, I was happy to see a familiar face who I knew would make the night fun and not be all moody and brooding like some other people.
Fun was…nice. It was easy. There were no hurt feelings or expectations that were bound to be let down when I was around Adrien. We danced, drank, and laughed all night, and for the first time all week I wasn’t obsessing over Grey Anderson.
At least, not until I spotted him heading in our direction. Déjà vu crashed over me when I met two stormy eyes, his large body pushing through the crowds as if everyone else was beneath him. A Viking on a warpath. Adrien stopped moving when he noticed I had, his eyes searching my face curiously.
“We have company,” I murmured, fear etching up my spine. I prayed Grey didn’t hit him again. Not that he had a reason to, since we were broken up. I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
That didn’t mean just seeing him wasn’t playing havoc with my emotions and body. Every ounce of me wanted to both run to him and run from him. Even those lips pressed into an unhappy line couldn’t make me stop remembering how they felt on my own, or moving over every sensitive part of my body. I shivered with those thoughts.
“Great,” Adrien said with a sigh, turning to face Grey, blocking him from my view. I peeked around him just as Grey stopped a few feet away from us. “Can I help you?” Adrien said. I cringed when I saw Grey’s anger spike.
“I’d like to talk to Honor,” he said, his deep voice rolling over me.
“Honor is no longer any of your concern, remember?” Adrien replied.
Grey simply cocked an eyebrow at him, undeterred. “Do you speak for her now?”
Crossing his arms over his chest, Adrien widened his stance as though he were an actual wall between Grey and me.
“Maybe I do,” he replied.
I pushed around him, standing in the middle of the two with both hands raised, one at each of them. “No one is speaking for me,” I said, glaring at both of them. I gave Adrien a pointed look, telling him to keep his mouth shut, as I turned to deal with Grey myself.
“What do you want?” I asked, feeling suddenly exhausted.
“I want to talk to you,” he answered.
“There’s nothing left to say,” I said. “Just go back and hang out with your friends, Grey, and I’ll hang out with mine. There’s no reason why we can’t be in the same place and avoid speaking to each other.”
His lips pressed into a firm line. “Fine,” he said. Our eyes held for a moment before he turned and marched back over to the guys who were watching from the bar. I let out a breath I hadn’t known I’d been holding.
�
�Man, that guy just can’t get a clue,” I heard Adrien say behind me.
I turned back to him, tearing my eyes off of Grey’s retreating figure. Whatever I’d been feeling before was gone now. Suddenly the music was too loud, the people too close, the air suffocating. I wanted to leave.
“Hey,” Adrien said, gripping my arms. I looked up at him. “Don’t let him ruin your night. He’s not worth it.”
“Isn’t he?” I said, speaking my thoughts aloud before I could think better of it.
“No, he’s not. If he let you slip away, then he definitely isn’t. Any guy would be lucky to call you his girl, and he just threw that away. Don’t let him have a hold over you.”
I nodded, blinking back the tears that had started to burn my eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was end up crying like a baby in the middle of the dance floor.
“Come on,” Adrien said, pulling me into a one-armed hug. “Let’s go get us some drinks, and then we can show these people how to really dance.”
Laughing, I swiped at the few tears that had managed to slip out, and nodded in agreement. Grey was not going to ruin another night for me. He was not going to ruin anymore nights for me. I was done worrying about what he thought.
***
“My feet are killing me,” I complained.
“No complaining!” Adrien said as he twirled me around with one hand and Cat with the other. “You two are my tiny dancers, and you shall continue to dance!”
“Geez, we’re not monkeys,” Cat said even though she was smiling.
“Dance monkeys, dance!”
We both shook our heads at each other as Adrien laughed beside us. There were a number of girls who had been vying for his attention all night, but he’d ignored them all. It seemed he’d put his playboy ways away for the night to keep me as entertained as possible. I couldn’t have been more grateful to him.
He’d made this night bearable. Grey hadn’t left, but he also hadn’t come up to us again. That didn’t mean that I hadn’t felt his eyes on me the entire time. Whenever I’d sneak a peek in his direction he’d be looking at me. Our gazes would meet and my breath would get lodged in my throat until Adrien did something to pull me back again.
It wasn’t easy, but I did manage to have a good time in spite of his shadowing presence. Like a dark cloud before a storm, his very existence in the bar loomed over me. There was an intangible pull between us that kept making me want to go over and be near him, even though he’d broken my heart.
Adrien was my anchor. He kept me away, and I would never forget that. I was thankful to have a friend like him, someone who knew when I needed a firm hand to keep me from making a mistake. That’s all it would be if I gave in and went to see what Grey had wanted to talk about – a mistake. There was nothing left to say between us, and I’d only be hurting myself more if I believed otherwise.
“Seriously,” I said, stopping in the middle of the dance floor to catch my breath. “My feet can’t take much more of this.”
“Then take off those evil torture devices,” he said, motioning to my high heels.
I scrunched up my nose. “I’m not going barefoot on this floor. It’s sticky and nasty.”
He sighed. “Fine, we’ll call it a night.”
I glanced over at the group of girls watching him like a hawk, and gave him a knowing look. “You don’t have to call it a night,” I said with a wink. “I can manage to get home by myself.”
He scoffed. “No way. If I let you go now, you’ll likely find your way to that asshole.” He shook his head. “Not going to happen, sweetheart. I will deliver you to your doorstep like the true gentleman that I am.”
I snorted. “I highly doubt the women of Bloomfield would consider you a gentleman.”
He just grinned as he led us off the dance floor, his hand planted firmly on my lower back. We approached the group, and I couldn’t help but feel goose bumps rise along my arms as I stood close to where Grey sat at the bar. When I glanced up at him through my lashes, I was met with those blue orbs staring right at me. I quickly looked away, rubbing my sweaty palms against the bottom of my dress.
“Are you heading home, Honor?” Chloe asked.
I looked up at her, Grey still in my peripheral vision. “Yeah, I have class tomorrow, so I need to head back.”
“You want us to come too?” Cat offered.
“No, I’ve got her,” Adrien answered.
“You’re going to drive her home?” Chloe asked, biting her lip.
“Yeah, my car is outside.”
“The hell you are,” I heard a deep voice say a second before I felt Grey brush up against my arm. I couldn’t even bring myself to look up at him.
Adrien twisted his body toward Grey, the two of them towering over me.
“Yes, I am,” he said.
“You’ve been drinking all night,” Grey said, his voice deeper than usual.
Adrien laughed. “Relax, old man. I’m fine.” His hand wrapped around my arm gently. “Come on, Honor. Let’s get you home.”
I nodded, turning to follow him when another hand gripped my other arm. Finally I looked up at him, swallowing at the pleading look in his eyes, all the hardness from before gone now.
“Honor, don’t get in a car with him. It’s not safe. I’ll drive you home, or pay for a cab, whichever you want. But don’t get in a car with this guy when he’s been drinking all night,” Grey said.
“I will always keep Honor safe,” Adrien said before I could muster up a reply. “We’re leaving now, buddy. So take your fucking hand off her.”
Grey didn’t look at him, his eyes still locked with mine in a silent appeal.
“I’ll be fine, Grey,” I said with a small smile. “I’m safe with Adrien.”
He flinched, his eyes turning sad for a second before they hardened again and he dropped my arm. Without waiting for anyone else to chime in, I started toward the front door with Adrien close behind.
“That guy seriously doesn’t know when to back off,” Adrien said as we approached his car. He opened the door, holding mine open as I got in before running around the front to climb into the driver’s seat. I didn’t respond, my mind too muddled to carry on a conversation.
As if sensing my distance, Adrien turned on the radio and backed out. We drove in silence, the music between us. I stared off out the window, unseeing as the world whipped by.
A loud honk snapped me out of my haze. I turned my head just in time to see two headlights coming directly at us.
“Adrien!” I called out, looking at him just as his eyes snapped open.
“Fuck!”
He turned the wheel sharply to the right, the tires squealing as he got out of the way of oncoming traffic. Suddenly the car dipped down into the ditch at the side of the road, speeding up the other side, clumps of earth flying up around the car.
My body jostled from side to side as he tried to straighten the car, jerking the wheel back left before we went head first into the trees lining the other side of the ditch. I sucked in a breath as the front end went back into the ditch with a sickening crunch.
It flew back up onto the road, tires squealing against pavement. The smell of burning rubber was evident, even from inside the car.
“Fuck!” Adrien shouted again.
I looked out my window just in time to see the bright lights of oncoming traffic driving directly at us again as we sat horizontally across the road. I squeezed my eyes shut just before the sound of metal hitting metal, and the explosion of glass rang out around us.
Chapter 28
Grey
I left the bar as soon as they did. That was it. I’d done my best to keep a happy face on for my friends, but there was only so much I could take. Not only had I had to sit there and watch her dance with another guy all night, but then I’d had to watch her leave with him.
I’m safe with Adrien.
Those words had cut deeper than any knife could. I’m safer with him than I am with you, that’s what I had heard. Adri
en wouldn’t break her heart the way I had. She was safe with him.
I’d never felt so wounded in my life. As soon as I shut the door to my apartment behind me I let loose the rage that had been eating away at me. Throwing out my first, I punched a hole in the wall, the drywall crumbling beneath my knuckles. Blood instantly welled where my skin split, the pain a welcoming sensation after this night’s events.
I’d fucked up worse than I’d ever fucked up, and I’d done a lot of stupid shit in my life. Losing Honor was definitely the worst of them all. Tonight proved to me that there would be no winning her back either. She wouldn’t even speak with me, let alone give me another shot.
Did I want another shot?
Fuck, I didn’t even know. My head was so messed up, I was having a hard time thinking straight. Seeing her and being close to her made me want to do whatever I could to make things right between us. When I was alone though, I’d doubt myself all over again.
Shaking out my hand, I headed to my bathroom and grabbed a quick shower before pulling on some pants and falling into bed. I lay there, staring up at the ceiling, my mind racing too fast for sleep to take me.
“Fuck it,” I said. Getting up, not bothering to put on a shirt, I marched through the apartment and out into the hall, stopping at her door. I banged on it, waiting for her to answer.
She might not have wanted to speak to me at the bar, but she would speak to me now. I didn’t know what I wanted to say, but I knew when I saw her it would come to me. I just needed to be around her, I needed to hold her again to help make sense of the confusion in my mind.
Maybe it wouldn’t work if she moved to New York, but then again maybe it would. Why not try? Why not give it a shot instead of just throwing away the first real thing I’d ever had in my life? If we only had one chance at love in our lifetime, this was mine, and I had let it slip through my fingers. I had to get it back.
I banged on the door again, my body vibrating with anticipation. “Honor, it’s me,” I called through the door. “Open up. We need to talk.”
Young Love (Bloomfield #4) Page 18
