Lizzi Bizzi and the Red Witch

by Stefano Pastor

Here, I destroyed everything. Ten years living together, a relationship built day after day with fatigue. She would never forgive me anymore, maybe she would leave me as well.

  Instead she answered. «I didn’t love him enough!», she turned, her eyes dry. «If I didn’t do it is because I did not want to».

  I didn’t expect it, I opened up a Pandora’s box. Now I had to close it as soon as possible. «Don’t say that».

  «Every prodigy has its price. The biggest the prodigy, the greatest the price. I loved him, but not enough. Not enough to pay that price».

  She laid bare, as I had never seen her before. And her heart was beautiful. Because maybe she had not loved her husband enough, but for Diego she was willing to pay any price.

  «I’m sorry», I said, offering my arms. «I’m really sorry».

  She accepted my embrace, she held me tight. I could almost cry. Almost. «He’s about to leave us», I murmured. «We must be strong».

  We stayed together for a long time, then she parted. Her eyes were damp.

  I tried to fix another mistake. «Those… tears. Durga’s Tears. I’ll bring them to him. I will really do, I’m not lying. Trust me».

  I didn’t convince her, because I didn’t believe it either. She was no longer angry, perhaps disappointed. «No, You don’t need to do it. It’s just a nonsense. I shouldn’t interfere».

  «Indira…».

  She left and both of us remained alone.

  I shook my head before talking. «He doesn’t want to».

  Diego didn’t understand. «Have they refused to do so? But…».

  «They didn’t refuse, it’s Franco who doesn’t want to leave, he was absolutely clear about it».

  We could hear Enrico’s voice even though they were down the corridor. They had left us alone this time.

  Diego closed his eyes. «He will see me die».

  There was nothing I could do. Franco had refused to change room, even though we were getting close to the end. He didn’t want to leave him. Perhaps he also wanted to understand how it would have been, since his time was coming inexorably.

  It was wrong anyway. Even though he opposed himself, it wasn’t right that the young boy encountered death. A simple screen wouldn’t protect him.

  Diego couldn’t stand anymore, his breakdown happened suddenly. He also had difficulty talking. He opened his mouth but no sound came out anymore.

  I got close with my ear, trying to hear. I realized too late that the problem was much more serious.

  I rang the bell but it wasn’t enough. I ran to the door screaming. «Nurse, hurry! My son is sick!».

  I looked around but met only Franco’s eyes at the bottom of the corridor. Even his eyes were filled with terror.

  «Not yet! Not yet!», I shouted going back into the room.

  Indira was in the kitchen when I came back.

  She didn’t ask me what happened, because I had spent the night in the hospital. She said only, «I cook something to eat for you».

  I shook my head. «I just get change and go back there».

  «You’re too tired, you should rest».

  I didn’t want to continue to pretend. «Why don’t you come too?».

  «Another time, ma’am. Today I’m too busy».

  I started screaming. «There will not be another time! If you don’t come now you will never see him again!».

  She almost dropped the plate she was drying. «Is he dying?».

  «It’s over», I said. «I almost lost him tonight».

  «You shouldn’t be here, then».

  I exploded, and I felt free finally. «I came to take you, idiot! I just came to take you!».

  This time she didn’t get offended, she just put the plate down.

  «I just take my coat and I’m ready», she said.

  The screen was pulled, but Franco was there. He heard everything. I too heard him cry, at least he could do it.

  Diego was pale, an ashen pallor. Big eyes on a skinny face. He was asking for water, but he couldn’t speak anymore.

  Everything was happening as I had imagined. How long could it last? Minutes, hours? I only hoped it would be over before the visiting hours, I would not tolerate that Enrico would see us now. It was a mistake to allow Franco to stay.

  Indira didn’t move. She was standing still beside the door, clutching her purse. Maybe she didn’t greet him either. And Diego clearly didn’t notice her presence.

  I chose a compromise. «Take him out, go get something».

  They both heard me, but they didn’t move. I stood next to Diego, holding his hand, ignoring anyone else.

  There was no life without him. No future. Not a sad future or pain, not even that I could conceive. Nothingness.

  When the breath became more troubled, I was about to press the bell. It would have been useless, no one could have helped him anymore. His destiny was about to be fulfilled. I kissed him on a cheek flaky and dry like that of an old man. I searched for tears again.

  Then my breakdown was complete.

  I left Diego and ran to Indira. «Give them to me!», I yelled. «I know you brought them with you. You have them here!».

  She didn’t deny it. «Are you sure you really want it?».

  That was the one thing I was sure about. «Whatever the price, I’m willing to pay for it».

  «Afterwards you can not go back».

  There was nothing after that, so what did it matter? «I believe in everything! I believe your goddess, I even believe in Kalì. Whatever, but please don’t let him die».

  «You don’t necessarily have to believe it».

  I was confused. «Doesn’t it work this way?».

  «She has already given us her tears, there is no need for anything else».

  Whatever they were, simple water or snake blood, would not hurt him. Maybe they were really tears. Tears that Indira had scattered for a whole night, only for Diego. I knew it was useless, that I was fooling myself, but nothing mattered anymore.

  «I believe everything anyway. Give them to him, now. We don’t have time».

  She put one hand in her pocket and the bottle appeared. It was half full.

  I reached out but she didn’t give it to me.

  «They’re not for him, they’re for you».

  I was too confused to understand. «I don’t… I don’t care about me. It’s Diego that you need to heal».

  «I can’t do it, only you can».

  It was the first time she spoke to me like a friend, despite having asked her a thousand times to do so. But that time I didn’t even realize it.

  «What should I do?».

  «Durga will give you the power. Just make sure you don’t abuse it. You have to do exactly what as I will tell you».

  I had abandoned all form of rationality for the moment, in that bed Diego was dying and I was loosing time pursuing crazy superstitions. «What do I have to do?», I repeated.

  «You can’t go back, I’m sorry. It can be contained, but you will never go back. Are you sure you want to continue?».

  «Everything!», I yelled. «Everything!».

  She handed me the flask. «Drink».

  I had imagined it. Even if it was poison, I would have welcomed it as a welcome gift. I opened it and swallowed the contents in one sip.

  Water. Salt water. Tears.

  I cried. A river of tears. I couldn’t stop. «Diego…».

  «You must be in control. Stop when I tell you. Do you think you can do it?».

  I didn’t understand. «What?».

  «Be awake. You must remain conscious. Be yourself».

  We were wasting time. «Diego is dying».

  «We’ll sort it out, calm down. Still few seconds».

  She smelled bad, it was the first thing I noticed. More then that, it was really repellent, I couldn’t stay next to her. I had never known Indira emit such a sting.

  I walked away from her, barely aware of it, and suddenly I found myself next to Diego.

  «Here it is», Indir
a said.

  His voice was strange, extremely slow. Everything was slow around me.

  Diego was beautiful, I never saw anything more beautiful. An angel, a true angel. He smelled with a celestial fragrance, pure nectar of gods. That scent dominated everything, making me crazy.

  «Stay awake! Keep thinking! Don’t let it take over. Remember who you are, repeat it to yourself!».

  Who was I? I turned my head and looked in the mirror. I kept staring at my image.

  I struggled to get him out of there, but I lost. Diego wanted to know what was happening to him, it was like a drug to him. His decay was haunting him down.

  Now was haunting me. I changed, I was different.

  My face was blurred, I couldn’t see my contours. Only my eyes were alive. I just moved my arms. What I saw in the mirror was too funny, which made me laugh. According to him I had four arms.

  I moved again and then I understood.

  It was too slow. The mirror sent my image back too slowly. Or it was me to be too fast. Everyone was slow in that room. Slow were the words that were pronounced.

  I tried to ask Indira what was happening, but there were no words to get out of my mouth. I was shocked and I made a high-pitched noise.

  «Calm down», she said. «Remain calm and keep thinking. Think that it’s necessary, you can save him only this way. You understand, don’t you?».

  Diego, my son. Yes, I knew it. But why would I have to save him? He was fine, He had never been so perfect. It was Indira who seemed to have a foot in the grave, she already smelled like a carrion.

  «Don’t give up. Don’t let the blood possess you».

  I had a need now. I could not help it. I needed to get closer to Diego. Kiss him, lick him, inhale the scent of his skin.

  I did it, without even moving. My tongue stretched and reached one of his cheek. A red tongue like blood that I had never seen before.

  This time I screamed, a languid groan, and I turned around. I immediately regretted what I just did. The mirror reflected my image, but it wasn’t me. Those eyes glittered, that face darkened, Those arms seemed too many still. But above all, that tongue, stretched out to a great extent.

  Kali. That picture was Kalì.

  «There was no other way», Indira’s voice said, with an exasperating slowness. «Now you can fight demons, any demon. You can nourish the evil that devours it. You can heal his blood. Do you understand that I couldn’t do otherwise?».

  It was difficult to understand. Keep my mental faculties intact. Everything was blurry. I wasn’t alone in that body. Something was dominating me.

  «Just do it! Save Diego before it’s too late! Take away his evil!».

  When happened I almost drove me crazy, my body had decided for me. I was on Diego, without even realizing it. My obscene tongue had gone through his chest. Nothing had stopped me, neither the sheets, nor the pajamas, both pierced in an instant.

  I was inside him. Into my son. In his heart.

  I drank in that nectar and drank. Never had food been so delicious. Intoxicating.

  «Enough! Enough! Let go! It’s enough, you already drunk enough».

  It was just an annoying background noise, I could ignore it.

  «If you keep drinking you will kill him. You must be willing to stop. You hear me, you understand?». Then, not content she continued: «It’s Diego! You did it for him. To heal him. You succeeded, do you understand?».

  It was an immense struggle, I didn’t know how to win it over. That pleasure was sublime, I didn’t want it to stop. It was Diego and he was dying. Again, again. Like Shiva. I loved him, I couldn’t kill him.

  I broke off suddenly, with a terrible drool. I swallowed my own tongue as if it was a trunk. Then, I hidden the face in my hands, I didn’t want to look at myself in the mirror again.

  Indira was smiling. «Good girl. You see how you managed to do it? I was sure you could make it».

  Only then she came forward, slowly. She approached the bed and pulled off the sheets. Diego’s pajama was tattered, he had a strange cross-shaped wound on his chest, but it was already healed. Indira put a hand on his forehead and my son coughed. He opened his eyes again.

  «Are you thirsty?», she asked.

  With my astonishment, Diego stood up. «What happened?».

  He gave him a glass of water, then she thought it was more important to come to me.

  «And how are you? You got better? Can you dominate it?».

  It was a continuous struggle, agonizing. I couldn’t talk anymore.

  Indira caressed my arm. «I know, I imagine how painful it is».

  I spoke few syllable. «Is he a-li-ve?».

  «He’ll heal soon completely, remain calm. His blood now is healthy».

  I couldn’t believe it. Even Diego couldn’t, he was staring around woozy.

  «Thi-s…».

  It was impossible, I couldn’t do it. That tongue wasn’t made to speak.

  «This is the price, I’m sorry. It has incarnated in you. What is done can not be undone. But you can learn to live with it and accept it. Remember what I told you? Love can do everything. Shiva has put off its anger, even Diego can do it. It may be your salvation as you have been for him».

  Yes, I could conceive it. If my son really lived, I would have accepted that price as well.

  When Indira tried to touch me again, I would instinctively step back.

  She smiled, not worried at all. «You smell it, don’t you? I had no choice, I had to be a step ahead».

  Protect from me, I could understand it. So I couldn’t hurt her. It was right, It was all fair enough.

  «Let’s go home now. You can see that Diego is fine. He will rest and tomorrow won’t remember nothing at all. You’ll see that he’ll be well soon».

  I managed to stay still when she touched me again. Yes, I could live with it.

  «It’s better if you stay home for a while, you have to learn how to behave. How to resist temptations».

  It almost happened, and our lives would have been different. I was about to get out of that room.

  That’s when I heard it. A weak breath, which their ears could not hear.

  «Fr-an-co», I articulated.

  «No», Indira said.

  Franco, beyond that screen. Franco who had heard everything. Franco would be very soon dead. Franco, who had become my son’s best friend.

  I tried to move, but Indira held me tight.

  «I ha-ve to do it».

  «You can’t», she said. «Not yet. Don’t even try».

  If I had this ability why don’t use it? Why don’t save that boy too? Sooner or later Diego would have thrown that in my face.

  I needed a split second to get rid of her. Pull the screen and face Franco.

  His eyes wide open, he was sitting on the edge of the bed, terrified about what he heard.

  It was also an instant to stretch my tongue.

  The time to lower my eyes on his chest, to look at what I was doing, and I was already inebriated. Other nectar for my pleasure, I would never get tired of absorbing it.

  The break came suddenly, pretty sharp, along with Indira’s handbag, which struck me in the head.

  «Enough! Enough! You’re killing him!».

  Franco did not even have time to shout, he collapsed on the bed like a broken doll. The cross was still very visible on his chest, like a wound just engraved.

  Indira was really angry. «Enough! Enough! When I say enough it’s enough! You must stop! Don’t let her win!».

  I was gasping as a bellows, I couldn’t keep a straight mind. Did I kill him or not? How was he feeling now?

  When I tried to turn around I got a slap. I didn’t avoid it, though I could.

  «Stay away! Go there, next to the door, where I can see you. And don’t move! Don’t you dare get close to these guys again!».

  Was she talking to me or to who owned me? It didn’t matter, I obeyed. Even though I was upset I was dumb. Excited. I was also aware of being drunk, unable
to think normally. I was still thirsty, a lot thirsty.

  «That’s not the right path», Indira said, checking on Franco. I could see her shake him until the boy moved.

  She was very clear. «Don’t you dare coming close».

  There was one thing I wanted to know, but it was getting more complicated to speak. «A-li-ve?».

  «Do you want to know if it worked? Yes, I think so. You’ve done even too much, you almost drained him. But the evil is gone, you have taken it away».

  That made all sense, right? I was almost convinced.

  Not her. «You didn’t have to do it! You can’t! Too early, I told you, you still can’t control yourself».

  I wanted to ask her what I had become. «Ka-li».

  Indira shook her head. «No, you’re not Kali, but you’re like her. Durga incarnate in you, she gave you her anger, the power to absorb evil. There was no other solution, do you understand?».

  Would they understand it? Would Diego and Franco forgive me? They were upset, maybe they didn’t even connect. Their mind would remove what they had seen, they would forget everything.

  «And I?», I managed to ask.

  «You can live with it. Someone could do it before».

  From her stories I wouldn’t have said it. Kalì had become a monster, thirsty for blood and violence.

  «Diego can help you».

  Like Shiva, yes. Like him.

  «Leave me five minutes to tidy everything up, then I’ll take you home. You’re no longer able to go alone».

  «Ok». It was useless to resist. It was a relief that she would take care of me.

  Franco was recovering, but he was still too woozy to ask questions. He let her putting him to bed and set the sheets.

  That was when it happened.

  The inevitable. The tragedy.

  Time had passed and we had not even noticed. The visit time had come. It was criminal that someone let him in, but maybe he ran away. Even the closed door didn’t stop him, he opened it wide open, and came screaming.

  «Franco! Franco».

  Enrico froze seeing me. I was a step away from him, a terrifying vision. He couldn’t scream, my tongue snapped already.

  He was slow, slow, it seemed to move at slow motion. Indira was also frightfully slow, almost comical as she tried to run.

  I shook my arms to ease absorption. There was not much blood in that body, but it was delicious. The most delicious fruit I’ve ever caught. I was satisfied for a moment, I felt a unique, divine pleasure.