A Heart to Heal

by Synithia Williams

  Two more glasses and a song later, she’d about worked up enough anger to break up Kia’s freak show regardless of the consequences when the music changed. It took a second for her alcohol and anger clouded mind to register what played, but once she recognized the opening strains of LSG’s “My Body” all of the blood rushed from of her face. Her stomach churned queasily and memories of that song playing in a dark room, and warm breath that smelled like stale beer against her neck flew through her mind. She shook her head to clear the memories, but it was useless.

  Pushing down the disgust and anxiety that came whenever that song played, she stood. Hoping to escape to the bathroom for a few minutes and regroup. She put her glass on the table. When she straightened, instead of making her escape she met Tony’s black eyes. He smiled, a knowing glint in his eye. He hadn’t changed much since high school. She briefly wondered why Jermaine, the nice one, had to go bald and gain weight. Tony’s body was sculpted beneath the tight black v-neck shirt and white slacks he wore. His dark skin was barely creased with age lines and it gleamed in the lights just like the polished furniture. His smile widened, revealing even white teeth while his narrow eyes swept over her from head to toe.

  It took all her self control to hold back her shiver and paste a nonchalant smile on her face. She would not let him know how much he repulsed her.

  He held up a bottle of cognac and two glasses. “Welcome home, Shayla.” His voice was low, smooth and it made her skin crawl. He entered the VIP and sat where Devin had before. “Sit.” He said to Shayla before turning to Peaches. “What’s up, Peaches?”

  Peaches grinned. “Chillin’ with Shayla. How you doing, Tony?”

  Tony nodded. “I’m good. Give me and my girl a minute.”

  With a sly smile, Peaches stood and left the VIP. Tony opened the bottle and poured the liquid into the glasses. He raised a glass to her and cocked a brow. “Sit. Unless you’re afraid of me.”

  Raising her chin she sat on the chair, but put as much room in between them as she could. He ran the glass against her arm, the coolness causing her to shiver. “Take the drink. Or are you worried about what’ll happen if you drink around me.” There was laughter in his voice. He was mocking her.

  Shayla straightened her spine. He was an asshole that had no control over her. She took the glass and gave him her coldest smile. “I’m not seventeen anymore. This time I’ll fight.”

  He laughed and stretched out on the couch. “I always liked it when you fought.” He lifted his glass. “I hope you like the song.”

  Shayla gulped the cognac. It burned her throat, and she wished it was just as easy to burn memories away. “I should have known you picked it.”

  “Why not? It’s our song. I look on that night fondly.”

  “I don’t think about that night.”

  He tisked. “You hurt me, Shayla. We were the most popular couple in school. Everyone wished they could be us, and it all started that night.”

  She took another swallow and welcomed the warmth in her stomach and lightness in her head. She could do this. “How long have you owned this club?”

  “Just like old times. Change the subject when you don’t want to talk about something.”

  “Damn right.”

  He snickered and slid closer. “I got a better way to change the subject. Why don’t we go on the floor and give Devin and your fine ass cousin some competition.”

  Her eyes flew back to the dance floor. Devin and Kia had stayed on the floor with the music change. Bile churned in her stomach when she saw how close Devin held Kia. She closed her eyes and finished her drink. “I see no reason to do that.”

  Tony’s fingers slid across her back. She stiffened, but didn’t pull away. She kept her eyes closed when he whispered in her ear. “I hear you got caught sucking some politician’s cock in Atlanta. Good ole Shayla.”

  She jerked away. “That’s not what happened.”

  He scoffed and sipped from his drink. “You gonna blame it on the alcohol again?”

  “Fuck you, Tony.”

  He smiled. “Sounds like a plan. We can go to my office.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

  He shrugged and refilled her glass. “Why should I, being myself got me everything I’ve wanted.” His gaze swept over her. “I never understood why you wanted to change. Run off to Atlanta and try to play the good girl. You’re no good girl. You’re just as fucked up as I am. Otherwise you wouldn’t be up to your same old tricks. You just moved on to bigger fish. Face it, Shayla, that night I got what I wanted only proved you’re just as scandalous as me.”

  “I said no.”

  He cocked a brow. “Once, and that doesn’t count.” He tipped his glass to her.

  Confusion whirled around in her fogged brain. The old feelings were back. Humiliation, anger, fear, uncertainty. She reached for the charm on her neck to keep from tapping her hands. Had she done enough, fought enough, or had she just been another drunk girl at a party, too fucked up to realize she was making a mistake. Her heart pounded in her chest as anxiety crept up her throat. She gulped from her drink to shove it down. She didn’t feel the burn of the alcohol, just welcomed the dulling of her memories.

  Tony grinned and brought his glass to his lips, but his hand froze. “Devin, glad you came to the party.”

  Shayla’s head snapped up. She blinked to bring Devin into focus then wished she hadn’t. His disappointment was back. She was stupid for coming. Stupid for asking him to come, and wrong for forcing him to witness her reunion with Tony. He deserved someone better than her, someone like Kia.

  With her practiced smile she reached out a wobbly hand and picked up the bottle of liquor. “Join the party.” She said with forced cheer and refilled her glass.

  Chapter 9

  Not for the first time that night, Devin wondered why in the hell he’d come. He should turn and leave Shayla here with her mission of self destruction that surfaced whenever she was around Tony. He watched as revulsion flashed in her eyes when Tony brushed against her. Her hand trembled when she poured another glass. Instead of leaving, his knees bent and he lowered himself in the neighboring chair. He cursed himself for a fool, but as usual he couldn’t resist trying to fix things when Shayla was upset.

  Tony smiled at Devin, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Well, well, well. Dr. Jones left his home on Johnston Street and joined the regular people.”

  Shayla gasped. “You live on Johnston Street?”

  He met her eyes and shifted uncomfortably. “Yes.”

  Her lips curved into a wobbly smile. He wished she didn’t look so happy to find out he bought a house on the street he once promised her he would. The moment was interrupted by Roxanne and Jermaine joining them.

  There was a noticeable difference in Shayla’s behavior. Before Tony came she’d been relaxed. Now her laughter was forced, her smile didn’t reach her eyes and she was pressed into the side of the chair away from Tony. She flinched almost imperceptibly whenever Tony brushed against her.

  She’d been the same way in high school after she’d hooked up with Tony. At the time he’d been so angry about her betrayal, he’d written it off as something she deserved. Now that he wasn’t bogged down with all of the hurt and teenage angst, he could see that she was scared. But why would she be afraid of Tony? Had it been fear in high school, too?

  Anger caused his shoulders to stiffen as he watched them. She didn’t want to be here, so why pretend as if she did. Thankfully she’d just held onto the last drink she’d poured. After downing champagne like water when he’d danced with Kia — something he would regret come Monday morning — and nearly inhaling two shots of liquor when Tony came over, she didn’t need another drink. Her eyes were drowsy, her words slurred. He pressed his lips together in a frown. She couldn’t drive home like this.

&
nbsp; He looked at Tony and frowned when Tony’s lips rose in a sly smile. “We had a lot of good times in high school, but the best night was Homecoming.”

  Roxanne and Jermaine’s smiles froze before they both gave equally forced laughs. Shayla groaned and lifted the glass to her lips with shaky hands.

  Devin reached out and took the glass. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

  Embarrassment flashed in her eyes before anger replaced it. “Disappointed in me again, Devin?”

  Tony laughed. “Just as uptight as he was in high school. I guess that’s the reason you made your decision.”

  Shayla glared at him. “Shut up, Tony.”

  Tony shrugged. “Or was it because you know we’re just alike.”

  Devin narrowed his eyes on Tony. “She’s nothing like you.”

  “Tell yourself that.” Tony lifted his shot glass and downed the drink in one gulp.

  Shayla jumped up. She swayed before righting herself and glaring at them both. “I’m not like either of you. I’m not as fucked up as Tony and I’m not as good as Devin. To hell with your pissing match, I’m going home.”

  She took an unsteady step and Devin shot out of his chair. “You can’t drive.”

  She tried to step away, but stumbled and knocked over the ice bucket that once held the champagne. It hit the floor with a loud crash and people nearby turned to watch. There was laughter as she tried to stand and straighten her halter top.

  Tony laughed and brushed ice from his lap. “She got it, Devin.”

  Devin rolled his eyes and reached for Shayla’s arm. She snatched away and with a frustrated sigh he hauled her over his shoulder. Her feet swung with her kicks as her small fists pounded into his back while she cursed him out. He tightened his hold on her legs, refusing to allow her to drive home drunk. Peaches ran over while Roxanne and Jermaine got out of the way. Tony just sat and watched with a satisfied smile on his face.

  Peaches took one look at Shayla and grinned. “Home girl up to her old tricks again.” She looked at Tony and winked.

  Devin glared at Peaches, who had the decency to stop laughing and get out of his way. Shayla froze. “Devin, I’m gonna throw up. I won’t drive, just put me down.”

  He quickly placed her back on her feet and held her as she tried to steady herself. Her skin was flushed and her mouth pressed closed. “I’ll drive you home,” he said taking her hand and leading her out of the VIP. He ignored the curious stares from those who’d witnessed the show on the way out. He’d get another lecture about Shayla when he returned to work on Monday.

  She didn’t say anything when they got to his truck. After he helped her in and shut the door, she curled up in the seat and faced away from him. But what was there to say? He didn’t have to be the one to take her home. Roxanne or Peaches could have done that. The truth was he’d rather take her home than leave her there and find out through the grapevine that she’d ended up going home with Tony. He wasn’t even going to pretend he wouldn’t care if she hooked up with Tony again. Although her actions tonight made that possibility seem unlikely.

  Why she was afraid of Tony? After Homecoming she used to try harder to prove she was happy whenever Tony was around. Before he thought it was only to rub their relationship in his face, but now he doubted that. I never willingly slept with Tony. Her words a few days ago rang through his head.

  He thought back to that time in high school when Shayla had broken his heart so completely. Tony was the leader of their clique mostly because his ego couldn’t let him be anything less. Shayla confessed to him that she thought Tony was conceited and rude. They’d talk for hours about the hypocrisies of high school and the way everyone tried to be something they weren’t just to fit in. She’d said Devin was the only person she could be herself around.

  Everyone assumed she and Devin would end up together; Shayla was the reason half his girlfriends in high school broke up with him. But he’d always hesitated to ask her out. Her father left when she was young and her mother only saw the worst in her. Her mom did nothing to combat the rumors that Shayla was just as easy as her dad. The rumors made every guy in high school try to get with her, and in turn she resented it. He didn’t want to be in the same boat. Even though he’d wanted more, he’d vowed to be her friend first.

  Until Homecoming. His latest girlfriend had broken up with him because he’d had a late night study session with Shayla, and she didn’t believe that the only thing going on was geometry. Shayla waited outside of the locker room after the game and admitted she wanted to be his girl. He said yes. She’d grinned from ear to ear and kissed him so hard he’d wanted to forget the Homecoming party and spend the night with her in the back seat of his dad’s car. From the way she’d snuggled into his side on the way to the party, and kissed his neck he’d thought she felt the same. He’d even suggested they skip, but she said they had to at least make an appearance.

  His grip tightened on the steering wheel when he thought about how badly the night went from there. Peaches had passed around drinks the minute they’d arrived. Tony was extra cocky, since he’d scored the winning touchdown. Devin would never forget the sneer Tony gave when he and Shayla announced they were a couple. From that moment Tony had spent the rest of the night keeping her from Devin’s side: dancing, playing cards, and wrapping his arm around her shoulder whenever he pulled her away. She’d rolled her eyes, but every time she tried to leave Tony’s side, somebody always pulled them back together.

  Memories he’d pushed away for years came rushing back in a blur: Shayla stumbling when she walked, him insisting that they leave, Peaches begging him to fix her flat tire before he left. Shayla had argued with him when he told her to lie down upstairs and wait on him, and said he was embarrassing her. Once the tire was changed and he’d brushed off Peaches attempt to kiss him, he’d gone upstairs to the last thing he ever expected to see. Tony and Shayla having sex.

  His heart broke in that instant. When she tried to explain the next day he’d refused to listen. What was there to explain? They barely spoke after that. He’d been too embarrassed to admit how badly she’d hurt him. Half the football team saw him kissing Shayla after the game and Tony told the other half he’d slept with Shayla later that night. Instead of showing that he cared, he went along with everyone else who treated Shayla like a slut. He’d watched her spiral down a path of self destruction: drinking, partying and smoking weed with Tony for the rest of the school year. But he’d never stopped and asked her why.

  He was so deep in thought he hadn’t realized he drove home instead of to her house until he pulled up in the driveway. He sighed and hung his head before turning to Shayla. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she curled up against the door, fast asleep. Too tired to drive across town to her house, he got out and carried her in.

  She woke up enough to wrap her arms around his shoulders. He took her upstairs to his guest bedroom. Shayla sighed and rubbed her nose against his neck. Despite the bitter aftertaste of high school memories, arousal heated his blood.

  “Devin,” she said.

  “What?”

  She gripped his neck tighter. “My Devin. I thought it was you.”

  He walked over and placed her on the bed. Her eyes cracked open and tears slipped down the side of her face. He sat beside her and wiped them away.

  “Why are you crying?”

  She moved her head from side to side then groaned. He let her turn over and hug the pillow. “That night, I thought it was you.” Her words were soft, he had to strain to hear them, but they pounded through his head as if she’d shouted.

  She sighed and snuggled into the pillow, her breathing becoming slow and even. Gently, he shook her shoulder.

  “Shayla.”

  She didn’t stir. He wanted answers. Had she been so drunk that night she couldn’t tell him from Tony? Nobody got that drunk. He wasn’t a
lush, but he’d had his drunken moments and every time he was cognizant of what he was doing.

  The need for answers scattered around inside him like a spilled bottle of marbles. He wanted to shake her awake and demand to know what happened, how she could possibly make such a grievous mistake.

  Instead, he got up from the bed and slipped the shoes off her feet. He covered her with a blanket and walked to his room. Without even thinking of what he was doing he undressed and got into his bed: confused, angry, and burning to finally settle the rift between him and Shayla.

  Chapter 10

  Shayla awoke with a start after falling and hitting something hard. She cried out. Her arms and legs were pinned against her body by a blanket, and scrambled to get loose. The blanket covered her face, but after a few seconds of frantic struggling her arms and head popped free. She was on the floor, in an unfamiliar bedroom next to the bed — where she must have fallen from. The last thing she remembered was trying to drink the memories of Tony out of her mind. Panic squeezed her chest. Oh, God, please don’t let me be in Tony’s house!

  Her gaze darted around the tastefully decorated room. There were no personal effects: the dresser wasn’t cluttered with keys, coins, and the junk that accumulated in her bedroom. Except for the covers that slid off the bed with her, it looked like a seldom used guest bedroom. She fell back and placed a hand over her pounding head. Tony wouldn’t put her in a guest bed. He wasn’t that decent.

  Footsteps pounded down the hall and the door flew open. She jerked up and lifted her arms in defense. Her throat constricted as Devin stopped at the door wearing only a pair of boxers. She dropped her hands, and her jaw, as the morning sunlight streamed through the blinds onto his copper skin. His body was slender with lean ropes of muscle defining his arms and legs. Golden brown strands of hair covered his chiseled chest and trailed down across a trim stomach to disappear beneath the waistband of his boxers. Her gaze followed the trail to where his boxers tented in the front. She gulped. Everything on him appeared long … and strong.