A Heart to Heal

by Synithia Williams

  “Stop running. No one in here is going to judge you.”

  She drummed her fingers against her leg. “It’s not in here that I’m worried about.”

  “They don’t matter. You’re the latest bit of news, next week it’ll be someone else. Don’t let them get to you.”

  His fingers continued their delicious ministrations to her neck. The tension slowly eased from her body. Her fingers soon stopped their frantic beat. She closed her eyes and didn’t fight when Devin pulled her against his chest. Nuzzling against him, she sighed. He smelled like the fall air, but was as warm as a summer afternoon.

  “I don’t want them to get to me,” she said against his shirt. “I don’t want them to know how much I hate the rumors about me. Tonight, Peaches brought it all back. What Tony did, living with it afterward, the abortion, everything.”

  Devin froze. Shayla gasped. She’d said too much. She jerked away, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “What abortion?”

  “Nothing, it’s no big deal.”

  He shook her arm. “You were pregnant? He made you get an abortion?”

  “No.” She met his gaze, but quickly looked away. His grip on her arm softened. “Tony didn’t know I was pregnant. Nobody did. I couldn’t have his baby. I would have been stuck here in Helena, with him, forever.”

  Devin didn’t speak. He released her arm and she rushed back into the kitchen. The only other person who knew about the abortion was Tasha. Only because she’d found Shayla crying one afternoon after it happened and dragged the story from her. Over time, she’d pushed the incident to the back of her mind. A necessary step she’d had to take to protect her sanity in the long run. It only haunted her on nights like this when something brought back the shame of her first slide into disgrace.

  The bottle of wine beckoned her, but she turned away and pulled the milk out of the fridge. It was time to find another way to deal.

  Devin finally made his way into the kitchen. His eyes were bright with anger when they landed on her. She raised her chin and met his gaze head on. She wasn’t proud of her decision, but at the time she had no other choice. She’d beat herself up enough over the years for denying life to the child created that horrible night, but in the long run it was the best choice. She and Tony would have made the worse type of parents.

  “You can save the lecture. I did what I had to.”

  Devin’s brows clashed in a dark line over his eyes. “I’m not going to lecture you. I’m going to kill Tony.”

  Her shoulders slumped with relief. He wasn’t mad at her. She walked over and ran her hand along the rough stubble on his jaw. “Why? He had nothing to do with it.”

  “If he hadn’t — ”

  “We went through this yesterday, remember?” Her hands lifted to the back of his head where they tangled in his hair.

  The anger in his eyes melted to desire. Her body responded with an ache between her legs and tightening of her nipples. She pressed against him and brought her other hand up to his shoulder. “Kiss me, Devin.”

  His head dipped slightly. She licked her lips. He brought his hands up to her face, his thumbs brushing her cheeks and sending warm shivers through her.

  “Be my lady, Shayla, and I’ll do a lot more than kiss you.”

  Her heart thumped. His eyes were intense as they stared into hers, pleading for her to agree. She lowered her lids, but didn’t step out of his embrace. How long would he want her? How long before the murmuring at the diner, and the reminders of what happened in high school and Atlanta become a burden he didn’t want to deal with.

  “I don’t care about them. I only care about you,” he whispered as if reading her thoughts.

  She lifted her head. Standing on her toes she brushed her lips against his. He groaned, a sound of pleasure and pain, before kissing her. Her tongue reached out to play across his tempting lower lip when her cell phone rang.

  With a start she pulled back. Her breathing came in ragged bursts, her lungs burned and her body yearned for him. His hands squeezed into her back, one gliding down toward her behind. The phone stopped ringing, and then chimed with a voice message. She shook her head before pulling out of his embrace. He didn’t say anything as she picked up the phone. She’d missed her mother’s call.

  The phone rang again. Her mom’s number popped on the screen. She ignored it.

  “Thank you for checking on me. I’m fine now,” she said.

  Devin’s soft footsteps crossed the room. He didn’t touch her, but she felt him behind her.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I’d be better if you spent the night.” She whispered.

  He brushed the hair from her neck to run one finger down the back. He rested his hand on her shoulder. “You know what it’ll take for me to do that.”

  She moved far enough away for his hand to drop. “I can’t do that. Good night, Devin.”

  A heavy sigh rushed from his lips. “Let me know when you’re ready to trust me, Shayla.”

  She didn’t turn as he quietly left out the back door. She couldn’t have Devin. She was only here for a short time. After she left, he’d forget about her and the passion they shared. But she would always be her mother’s daughter. She’d always have to live with her disappointment if she accepted Devin’s offer. Shayla hastily wiped the tears from her eyes and called her mom back.

  Chapter 17

  “Can I enter, or will you chew my head off?”

  Devin looked up from the lab reports he’d been reviewing. Kia stood at his door holding a patient file against her Tweety Bird scrubs. One of her eyebrows was raised as she looked at him.

  He sat back in his chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Have I really been that bad?”

  She smirked and that was all the answer he needed. His frustration simmered just below the surface ever since he’d ask Shayla to be with him and she refused. The heat between him and Shayla was damn near physical. He’d been willing to ignore it and offer friendship, but she’d offered sex. As much as he longed to sleep with her again, he wouldn’t do it with the hidden relationship she offered. If he slept with Shayla again, it would be because they were together. She may be afraid of what people would think, but he didn’t give a damn.

  Kia crossed the room and placed the patient file in his inbox. Instead of walking out as she usually would, she sat on the edge of the desk. She’d gotten a lot more comfortable talking to him after they danced at the club the other week. Luckily, she hadn’t started outright flirting with him, and after what Shayla told him, he’d been sure to keep his responses as professional as possible.

  “Is there a reason you’re so uptight?” She cocked her head to the side.

  “We’ve been busy. I think I’m just tired.”

  “We’re always busy. My feet are killing me every day when I leave here. But it’s worth it, you know. To help so many people.”

  “It’s one of the reasons I love my job.”

  She smiled. “Me, too. Like Mrs. Abney today, it’s so sweet that she always brings you cookies when she comes. And the way the Harmon boys always get so excited when they come in for a checkup. I’ve never seen kids so happy to see the doctor.”

  Devin laughed. The three and six year old boys had chanted his name and asked for him constantly before he came into the exam room. The entire office heard and thought it was cute, himself included.

  “Those boys are hilarious. And Mrs. Abney knows I can’t resist her oatmeal raisin cookies,” he said.

  “I love this town because everyone knows each other. When I have kids, it’ll be good to know that if someone sees them acting the fool they’ll give me a call. If I moved away, I wouldn’t have that.”

  Devin cocked a brow. “You’re already planning for kids?”

  “What, just because I’m young doe
sn’t mean I’m not ready to settle down. I don’t want to end up like Shayla.”

  Devin shifted in his seat. “She’s your cousin.”

  Kia raised a hand. “I know, and I love her, but all she talks about is getting out of this town. Moving back to where life doesn’t stop at eight every night. She told me she never wanted to get married or have kids.” Kia sighed and shook her head. “I feel bad for her. One day, she’ll wake up old and alone.”

  Devin toyed with a pen on his desk. What Kia said wasn’t news to him. Shayla had never planned to live in Helena. After the situation in Atlanta and what happened with Tony, he couldn’t blame her for not wanting to get married. But, it still hurt to hear the words coming from someone else. Deep down he’d begun to hope she’d realize life here in Helena, with him, wouldn’t be too bad.

  “Some people prefer to be alone,” he said softly.

  “I prefer to come home to someone I love. Watch our kids play in the yard, go to softball games and watch my boys play football at Helena High or my girls cheer. Wouldn’t you?”

  He looked up from the desk to Kia. She was a good looking girl. Ten years younger than him, but she had a decent head on her shoulders. He wouldn’t have hired her otherwise. But could he really consider a relationship with her when he had feelings for Shayla? Strong feelings that stretched further in years than the gap between his and Kia’s ages. He didn’t date for fun, and at this point in his life he only wanted to date a woman who could be Mrs. Devin Jones. He’d never let anyone know how badly he wanted settle down with a wife. His friends would clown him and their wives would go on a match making binge.

  “Maybe one day,” he said with a nonchalant shrug.

  A slow smile spread across Kia’s face. She reminded him so much of Shayla that he had to look away before she mistook the longing in his gaze as longing for her.

  “I should finish going over these reports and call my patients before going home.” He said.

  She immediately stood, but didn’t leave. “Um, would you like to go out sometime?”

  “Kia … ”

  “Look, I know that you and Shayla have history. And I know that with her in town it’s stirred that up. But, Shayla’s leaving, and I’m not.” She walked over and stood before him. “Don’t let her toy with your heart, when I’m willing to cherish it.”

  He sat dumfounded after she turned to leave. Despite Shayla’s warnings, he hadn’t really believed Kia was seriously interested in him. But her words left little doubt. This could make working together awkward, and the synergy of his staff was finally coming together. The nurse he’d hired before Kia had an aggressive attitude that grated on everyone’s nerves, from him to the patients. Kia fit in perfectly and his office ran ten times smoother since. But if she began hinting around that she wanted a relationship with him, it would throw off the dynamic. And he didn’t want to start looking for another nurse.

  With a sigh he turned back to the lab results. But Kia’s warning still played in his head. It wouldn’t be a surprise to learn Shayla had put her up to it. The girl said everything Shayla tried to emphasize, except for the toying with his heart part. Shayla didn’t have to toy with his heart. It already belonged to her. He rubbed his eyes as memories of kissing her on the back of his truck came back to him. She’d been so damn wet. Wet and ready for him. And he’d been the better person. His dick swelled in his pants. It would be difficult to keep his promise of friendship only. He couldn’t think of Shayla without wanting her, much less be around her.

  His hands balled into fists and he took a deep breath. He would keep this promise if it killed him. Her abortion revelation proved she hid a lot more hurts than he’d ever imagined. He refused to be another guy who took advantage of her.

  A soft knock on the door startled him from his thoughts. He looked up at Anna standing at the door. She wore the same wary expression Kia had earlier.

  “You feeling okay?”

  He closed his eyes briefly before nodding. “I’m okay.”

  Anna visibly relaxed. “Good. I’m getting ready to go get something to eat before the festival meeting tonight. Are you coming?”

  “Yes.” He said his voice filled with regret.

  Anna wagged a finger. “I know you’re not upset about helping with the church festival.”

  “No. I’d forgotten and I still haven’t made all of my patient calls.”

  “You forgot, or are you trying to avoid going?”

  Devin turned back to the papers on his desk. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  Anna came over and propped a hip on the same side of the desk Kia just left. “You know, I was really surprised by Shayla’s ideas. They were good.”

  Devin looked at Anna from the corner of his eye. “Shayla’s not all bad. She just made some bad decisions.”

  Anna shrugged. “Reverend Jenkins seems to believe there’s good in her. So I’m willing to look for it, I guess.”

  Devin leaned back in his chair and raised his brows. “Really? A few weeks ago you were ready to run her out of town.”

  Anna pushed away from his desk. “I still may. Depending on her intentions.”

  “Intentions?”

  Anna waved a hand. “I’ll keep that to myself for awhile longer.” She headed toward the door. “Go ahead and make those calls then come over to the church. I’ll see you soon.”

  Devin relished the silence in the office after Anna and the rest of the staff left. He hadn’t forgotten about the meeting, but wasn’t ready to see Shayla. With a sigh he turned back to the lab results and picked up the phone to make his patient calls.

  Because his days were so busy, he was only able to call patients with the results of their lab work during lunch or after hours. Oftentimes afterhours were better when he could catch people at home. Luckily, today wasn’t filled with too much bad news. But he still spent a lot of time on the phone answering questions and partaking in idle chit chat. He would usually only briefly engage in small talk and end the call to get on to the next one, but tonight he held on. He listened to stories of kids, pets, and work stress until it was close to eight. By then it was too late to make the festival meeting. He could get updated by his dad later, and give himself a little more time before facing Shayla again.

  He stood and stretched his cramped muscles. Rubbing the back of his neck in a feeble attempt to work out the kinks from holding a phone between his shoulder and ear, he reached for the light jacket he’d hung behind the door. He was flipping off the lights and checking to make sure everything in the front office was secure when there was a knock at the back door. His head dropped back and he exhaled heavily. It wasn’t unusual for someone to see his car at the office after hours and drop in for a quick diagnosis. He wasn’t usually bothered by it, but even after all of the talks with patients, the frustration from not having Shayla strained below the surface.

  As he walked to the door, he resigned himself to quickly get rid of whoever it was on the other side.

  “I was just leaving the office,” he said opening the door.

  The frustration inside of him quickly heated to desire. Shayla stood on the other side of the door in a green and brown wrap dress that clung to every luscious curve of her body. His dick stood at immediate attention as a breeze drifted over her, sending the intoxicating mix of her cinnamon scent to his nose.

  Her smile was huge and would appear nonchalant if not for the way her eyes shifted away. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I had some questions about the health screen for the festival and you missed the meeting. When I saw your car, I thought I’d stop by and ask.”

  He couldn’t take his eyes off her mouth. He wanted to taste her lips again. When her tongue quickly flitted across her lower lip he narrowed his eyes. She was here to tempt him. Her eyes returned to his and widened.

  “It can wait.”

&nb
sp; He reached out and took her arm, slowly bringing her into the dimly lit hall and shutting the door.

  “Is that what you really came here for?” The level of wanting in his voice surprised him.

  She shifted slightly but didn’t look away. “It is.”

  “Have you thought about what I said?”

  Her head lifted and lowered slightly in acknowledgement.

  “And?” he asked.

  She stepped closer. “I’m not the one denying us what we want, Devin.” Her voice was low and husky. It sent a tremor of lust straight through his body.

  He slid his arm around her small waist until his hand rested right at the curve of her perfect behind. He left just a sliver of room between their bodies. She shivered, her eyes softening with desire.

  “Neither am I, Shayla.”

  She lifted her head her lips barely brushing his. “Then take it … please.”

  Damn, her plea almost caused him to come right then. He closed his eyes and gripped her waist to regain his composure. “Not until we’re together. I won’t take advantage of you, or use you. I want all of you.”

  Her full breasts brushed against him when she sighed, causing his erection to lurch almost painfully. “I can’t.” she whispered.

  He opened his eyes. Hers were filled with regret and need. Anger burned him that she was so afraid to let people see them together. He knew some of the minds in Helena were small and would hate to see him with Shayla. But they were also fickle. Their relationship would cause murmurs for a few weeks before people moved on to the next thing. He didn’t care that people looked down on her because of what happened in Atlanta. He knew the truth, knew what was in her heart and that’s what mattered. And if anyone did have something to say about it, he’d happily shut their mouths.

  He wanted to lash out. Accuse her of toying with his heart the way Kia insinuated. But that wouldn’t bring her closer to him. It would only push her further away, and his ultimate goal was to make her his.