A Family of Their Own

by Gail Gaymer Martin

  “I think one of the boys at school has a crush on her. Just before school let out, the boy told her she was pretty and he’d miss her during the summer.”

  His back straightened. “Peyton? My Peyton? A boy?”

  He looked at her and knew she was trying not to laugh. He didn’t think it was funny.

  “It wasn’t a proposal, Ross. He gave her a compliment.”

  “But she’s only twelve.”

  Kelsey burst into laughter, and he fell back, hearing his ridiculous comment. “She’s twelve, becoming a young woman, and one day…”

  “One day, when she’s maybe sixteen…?”

  He shrugged. “We’ll see.” He released the air strangling in his lungs. “I suppose I can explain about boys if she wants to know.”

  “Good. Then my job is done.”

  His chest constricted as her eyes locked with his, and he drew her closer. “No, it’s not. You’re just beginning.” He pressed his lips to hers, wrapped in her warmth.

  “Dad!”

  He jerked back and turned to find Peyton and Lucy staring at him, their eyes like full moons. He withdrew his arms from Kelsey, gave her a desperate look, and approached Peyton. “When you are eighteen, you’ll have a boyfriend, and he might kiss you good-night. That’s what adults do.”

  She jammed her fists onto her hips again. “Dad, I know that. I was just surprised. I’m not stupid.” A frown grew on her face. “And what do you mean when I’m eighteen?”

  “Right.” Lucy strolled toward them. “Most girls get to go out with boys when they’re sixteen.”

  Kelsey tittered behind him, and he could barely contain his laughter.

  Ross looked at his watch, his other hand holding Kelsey’s. “How long does the surgery take?”

  She gazed at the clock. “He said three to five hours, and he warned us it could be longer. It’s been about three and a half now.”

  “Then I can stop worrying.” He glanced at Peyton, her novel lying on the table and her eyes closed. He watched to see if she were sleeping. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded.

  Kelsey leaned over and patted her leg. “It’s a long day, Peyton. Do you want your dad to take you to the cafeteria?”

  She shook her head. “I want to wait in case someone comes.”

  Kelsey gave him a half grin and returned to her magazine.

  He hadn’t been able to focus on anything. This kind of procedure was new to him. One wrong move and the brain could be damaged. His throat constricted as he imagined Lucy different than she was now. Her buoyant personality had gotten under his skin, and she might as well be his daughter for the fear he felt.

  Before her surgery, Lucy looked so small and helpless, but her bravery astounded him. “I’ll be fine. Wait and see.” The words rang in his head. If only he had that kind of confidence. He flipped the newspaper over in his lap. Crossword puzzles never interested him, but he’d tried to concentrate on a few words. His mind blanked at every definition. He tossed the paper onto the table beside Peyton and twiddled his thumbs. When that didn’t work, he rose and stepped into the hallway. Pacing seemed like the answer.

  As he trudged up and down the corridor, Ross forced his mind onto other things, and when he looked and spotted a surgeon heading for the waiting room, mask dangling around his neck, Ross slipped back inside. He caught Kelsey’s eye. “I think he’s coming.” Before he could sit, the surgeon called for Kelsey. Peyton jumped from her seat. He slipped his hand into Kelsey’s, and the three of them stepped into the hallway.

  “Everything went well, and I know you’ll be glad to hear the problem was scar tissue.”

  “Scar tissue.” Kelsey’s hand rose to her chest. “Thank You, Lord.”

  The surgeon smiled. “It’s a relief, I know. I’ll want to keep an eye on it, since it had grown a little, but there were no signs of any other problems. She’s in ICU just as a precautionary measure, but when she awakens, a nurse will come to get you.”

  Kelsey extended her hand. “Thank you, doctor. I’m so relieved.”

  He nodded, aware of her worry, and then smiled at Peyton and Ross. “You can take a break now. Visit the cafeteria. You won’t be called for at least an hour.”

  Ross shook the surgeon’s hand. “Thanks so much.”

  He slid his arm around Kelsey’s back, and they watched the surgeon retreat, but a sob caught his attention, and he turned to Peyton. Tears rolled down her cheeks. He slipped his arm from Kelsey and drew Peyton into his arms. “Go ahead and cry. I know they’re happy tears.”

  Though she didn’t speak, she nodded. Her body quivered with emotion, and his heart filled with gratefulness for her change of heart. He recalled Lucy and Peyton’s first meetings and how unsuccessful they were. Now they’d become like sisters. He sent a silent prayer of thankfulness.

  Kelsey moved beside them and kissed Peyton’s hair. “She’ll be as good as new very soon, and we’ll see her in a while once she wakes up.”

  Ross shifted back, still keeping one arm around his daughter. “How about some food? Anyone hungry?”

  He chuckled when he heard even Peyton give a rousing yes.

  Inside the cafeteria, they moved from station to station, salad here, sandwiches there, burgers and fries across the way, and when they’d filled their trays and paid, he located a table near the window where they could see the sun shining. Beds of colorful flowers added to their happy feelings.

  His gaze drifted to Peyton. Her new medication had changed her life. The arrhythmia she’d dealt with for so long had subsided. Since the day she pulled her own luggage into Kelsey’s, he gave her no more arguments. If she wanted to do things herself, he allowed it. She needed to learn to live with her damaged heart, and he’d probably coddled her too much, now that he thought about it. Maybe Kelsey wasn’t so wrong after all.

  Peyton gave him a questioning look. “Why are you looking at me?”

  “Because I’m proud of you.”

  A frown crinkled her smooth forehead. “That’s not why.”

  “I guess it’s because I’m so happy that your medicine is helping you. It could change your life.” His imagination soared.

  “Maybe we could actually go on a vacation, Dad.” She gave him a silly smile. “Someplace that’s not next to a hospital.”

  A chuckle burst from Kelsey, and he laughed with her. “I was always afraid to be too far from a town that had a good medical facility.”

  “We’ve been through the same thing with Lucy, except not quite so bad. At least her problem gave us more warning.”

  Hearing Lucy’s name, Ross eyed his watch. Another half hour. “Does Lucy have a place she’s always wanted to go?”

  Kelsey chuckled. “You know my daughter. She read a book about a girl in Paris. She wanted to go there. Then it was Hawaii. In another book, the girl went to New York City. Now she wants to go everywhere.”

  “Me, too.” Peyton’s eyes glistened, and Ross loved to see her excitement. “Paris. We could see the Eiffel Tower and ride to the top. Dad?” She wiggled her eyebrows. “It’s the city of romance.”

  Romance. Air drained from Kelsey’s lungs. She’d waited too long. Even Peyton had made assumptions about their relationship.

  “Peyton.” He gave her a playful smack.

  She giggled. “How about Hawaii? I could wear flowers in my hair and learn to hula.” Her gaze shifted to Kelsey.

  Kelsey felt compelled to respond. “Hawaii sounds lovely.”

  Ross’s mind captured the excitement. A honeymoon in Hawaii. He drew in a deep breath and relaxed in a pool of sunny thoughts.

  “You know, I should call Audrey, and I promised Karen I’d call her.”

  Kelsey’s voice nudged away his dreams.

  She scooted back her chair. “I’ll go out in the hallway where it’s quiet.”

  He nodded. “We’re almost done here. Go ahead and we’ll meet you there.”

  She scurried away, digging out her cell phone, leaving Ross with romantic im
ages zinging through his mind. He tucked those away and gazed at Peyton across the table. “It’s wonderful to see you and Lucy friends.”

  She lowered her head a moment, then looked at him. “I’m ashamed of how I behaved when we first met. I’d never had a friend since I got sick. Even when I tried to be nice, kids seemed to avoid me, so I decided to ignore them. It hurt me and made me sad.”

  He slipped his hand over hers and squeezed. “It’ll still take some time for the kids to see that you’ve changed, and you’ll always have to be careful. Your arrhythmia will hopefully stay under control, but you still have a heart that needs watching. You know that?”

  “I know, Daddy, but not living with that fear of a blood clot and having to take coumadin—that might be over, and I’m so happy.” She leaned forward, her eyes locked with his. “And I love Kelsey. She’s like a second mom to me, and Lucy’s a pain sometimes—especially when she can’t keep her mouth closed—but I love her, too. I realized that when she got sick.”

  Ross’s voice hung in his throat. Happiness swelled in his chest, and he gazed at his grown-up little girl, wishing away the tears that pushed behind his eyes. “Do you really mean that about Kelsey?”

  “You mean being like a mom?”

  He nodded.

  A worried look grew on her face. “Is that wrong? I still love Mom, but she’s—”

  “No. No. It’s not wrong. I’m thrilled hearing you say you really care about her, and Mom would be so happy.”

  She studied his face. “You think so?”

  “I know it.”

  A smile seeped from under her concern. “I’m finally feeling sort of like a family.”

  He slipped around the table and sat beside her, his arm around her shoulders. “Me, too. A complete family.”

  Kelsey paced the living room, her attention drawn to every noise she heard outside. The sound of a car caused her to veer for the window. When she looked out, her shoulders slumped, and she rubbed the taut cords in her neck. She’d gone over and over her thoughts a thousand times, and she ended up back at the same place. With God all things were possible, but with her, they weren’t.

  Another sound alerted her, and when she looked, her lungs failed her. She closed her eyes and bowed her head, not knowing what to pray for but needing guidance. Ross’s car door slammed, and she approached the front door. When she touched the knob, ice ran down through her veins. She’d never felt so alone.

  Feeling the knob turn, she pulled open the door, but when she tried to speak, her throat constricted. She motioned him inside, and though he faltered, he charged in, then turned to face her. “What’s happened?” His hand dragged across his jaw, his eyes fraught with concern. “Please, tell me it’s not Lucy.”

  The lump in her throat swelled as she shook her head. Finally, she grasped her wits. “Have a seat, Ross. This isn’t about Lucy. It’s about…us.”

  “Us?” He jerked backward, bewilderment drenching his face. “What do you mean?”

  “Please sit. I need to explain.” She wanted to clutch him to her to ease his pain. Her own anguish rattled her bones as she sank into the nearest chair.

  Ross stood over her, his fists clenched. “Kelsey, have I done something? I thought we—”

  “So did I. I wanted everything to be fine, but deep inside, I—I—”

  “You have no feelings for me? Or is it Peyton?” His shoulders slumped.

  Her heart ached seeing the expression on his face. “No, that’s not it. I care. I care about you both.” She cared too much. But… “Please sit, and I’ll try to make sense out of this.”

  He crumpled onto the sofa, elbows on his thighs and his head hanging. “Please, make sense.” He lifted his gaze to hers. “Since you called, I’ve been in a daze. I knew something was wrong. Terribly wrong, but I didn’t expect this.”

  She gnawed the edge of her lip, searching for words, thoughts that made sense not long ago, but they’d fluttered away like frightened birds. “Do you remember a while back when you talked about taking Peyton on a Dreams Come True trip and—”

  “Yes. I’d love to do that, but I wanted to wait until—”

  “Until Lucy was out of danger. I know.”

  His brows drew together, his eyes narrowing. “I thought that would please you.”

  “But it didn’t. It reminded me of how I made Lucy slow down and play less strenuous games for Peyton’s sake. Lucy was unhappy, and it caused us stress.” She shifted to the edge of the chair, her courage rising. “And do you remember how upset you were when I told Peyton about her body and what was about to happen?”

  “But I apologized for that, Kelsey. I was being stupid.”

  “I know you said you were sorry, but that’s the problem. We get along great. We have a wonderful relationship, but I don’t think it will work, Ross. We’ll spend our lives resenting our motivation and behavior, trying to please each other and both girls. It’s an impossible situation.”

  “Impossible? We’ve been doing it for months.” He pushed himself up from the sofa and crossed to her side. “Kelsey, it works. We don’t have to cater to the girls. They’re doing well now. Peyton’s out of my bedroom and in her own—”

  “It has nothing to do with the bedroom.” Her stomach churned and nausea caught in her throat.

  “Yes, it does. I coddled Peyton. Remember? But I’ve changed, and I’m happy I did. Peyton’s happier. She feels more normal, and she’s doing well. Lucy is, too. The girls are friends now. They’re like sisters, and Peyton told me you’re like a mother to her.” He knelt at her feet. “Do you hear what I’m saying?”

  Tears churned in her eyes and clung to her lashes. “Yes, but—”

  He grasped her hands. “I haven’t complained, have I?” He searched her face.

  “No.”

  “We’ve talked about this before. Two are better than one. If one falls, the friend can help the other one up.” He lifted her hand and kissed her fingers. “Kelsey, we are a three-strand cord as the Bible says. It’s you, me and God. We’re not alone with our struggles, and look how blessed we are.”

  His voice quaked, and Kelsey couldn’t hold back the tears. All the thoughts, the fears she’d had for the past weeks seemed so empty and weak when she viewed Ross’s strength. He understood God’s ways so much better than she did.

  He touched her cheek. “Yes, we may have to deal with more illness—I pray we don’t—but we have the Lord and each other. We’re not easily broken.”

  She felt broken. Every ounce of strength she’d garnered failed her. Her decisiveness failed as she looked in Ross’s eyes. “But I’m broken, Ross. I can’t let go of that fear. Doug walked out on me, and I thought we had a solid marriage. He abandoned us.” She searched his eyes. “I trust you, Ross, but I…”

  “You’re afraid. Worried.” He drew her closer. “God is my witness, Kelsey. I love you and Lucy with all my heart. I would never hurt you.” He kissed the end of her nose. “You’re being the practical Kelsey I first met. I watched you struggle to look at life with your heart, but you’ve had a setback. Instead of your heart, you’re trying to reason everything out. Some things can’t be reasoned. They’re felt.”

  Head and heart. She had struggled. Kelsey gazed into his eyes, realizing he knew her better than she knew herself. “But I don’t want you to be miserable with my idiosyncrasies.”

  “I’ve grown to love them.” He tightened his embrace. “I think of them fondly as your idiot-syncrasies.”

  The sweet sound of his voice lifted her spirit. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.” He tilted her chin upward. “The Lord doesn’t promise we’ll have sunshine every day, but He promises that He’s with us every day—rain or shine.”

  A ragged breath escaped her. “I know.”

  “He also gave us a sense of humor. You put up with me and my idiot-syncrasies, too. We all have them, you know. But yours are part of you, and I love them.”

  He loved them. The words washed over her. She�
��d never met a person who loved even her quirks, but Ross did. “I’m confused and so sorry. I feel lost without you, and I think that scares me. What happens if you can’t handle me after a while and decide to—?”

  He pressed his index finger on her lips. “I will never walk out on you, Kelsey. Neither you nor Lucy. When I make a commitment, it’s from the heart, and that’s what counts.” Ross slipped his finger from her mouth and replaced it with his lips.

  From the heart, and that’s what counts. She melted against his frame, yielding to his kiss. In his arms she felt complete. That was another thing that couldn’t be reasoned.

  “See you next week.” Kelsey stood near the door, glad that her year as moderator had come to a close. Voting in a new leader and a new name—Parents of Special Kids—had been her final task.

  Ross slipped past her with one of the other fathers, a newer one he’d taken under his wing. “Meet you outside.”

  She adored his compassionate way of listening and now his ability to share his real feelings. So many men had found their way to the meeting and were learning to reveal their emotions.

  “Thanks for all your hard work.”

  She turned from the hallway. “Thanks, Ava.” Ava had run for moderator, but had been outvoted. One of the newer ladies was now the moderator. “I hope you’re okay with the vote.”

  “The vote. I’m thrilled. After I agreed to run, I knew I’d made a mistake.”

  “Really.” Kelsey found that hard to believe. Ava had always been their question lady. Nothing slipped past her without a multitude of questions that dug so deep into the topic that everyone longed to go home. But she’d been faithful to the group and a likeable woman otherwise.

  “I don’t want to be in charge. I’d prefer to look at things from a different viewpoint and dig into it. I’d have to be unbiased as moderator. That’s hard for me to do.”

  Amazed at her self-awareness, Kelsey gave her a hug. “Questions have always been your forte. We all know that.”

  She chuckled. “Although I drive you all crazy sometimes.” She shook her finger. “Don’t think I don’t know.”

  Her smile assured Kelsey that she had no hard feelings. “See you next week.”