Naughty Nelle

by L'Amour, Nelle

  “What do you think?” asks Shrink.

  “It’s magnificent,” I choke.

  “I’ve heard you’ve become quite an art critic.”

  I wonder how she knows that.

  “Tell me,” she continues, “what is the artist trying to communicate about the woman in the painting?”

  My weeping eyes study the painting. I look closely at the woman’s radiant face and tender hands. A mirror might bare your face, but a work of art will bare your soul. My throat thickens.

  “That she is warm and caring and loving,” I say slowly.

  “I agree,” says Shrink. “Can you elaborate more on the relationship between the woman and the child?”

  “The little girl is a bright light in the woman’s heart.” My words surprise me.

  “Again, I agree with you.” Shrink smiles. “Now, can you infer from the painting how the artist feels about his subjects?”

  My moist eyes stay glued on the painting. In the lower right corner, there’s an inscription, painted in red. Bleary-eyed, I move in closer to make out the words. I hear myself say them aloud. “Forever in my heart.”

  The words echo in my head. Oh, my beautiful Prince, you will never leave me. I will love you forever. Yes, forever.

  “Well, Jane,” says Shrink, with a hint of impatience, “I’m waiting for your answer.”

  “I…believe…he…loves…them.” I squeeze out the word between sobs.

  “Yes, he does,” says Shrink, using the present tense. Doesn’t she know Gallant is dead?

  A too familiar chime sounds. Time’s up. Our session is over.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow at the same time,” says Shrink.

  Tomorrow? They must be readmitting me. No more second chances! I’ll be here for the rest of my life. And never see Calla again!

  “Where?” I sniffle. My brain is mush. I’m not thinking straight.

  “At my first book signing. At some bookstore called Barons & Noble. I’ll be disappointed if you’re not there.”

  What? I’m going back to the land of fairy tales? Before I can say anything, Shrink disappears behind the painting. She reappears, hiding something behind her back.

  “I believe this is yours.” She hands me the object.

  My mirrored locket! I slip it over my head.

  There’s no time to thank her. At lightning speed, Shrink spins around me, creating a whirling dervish of fairy dust. Magically, I’m gone. Far, far away.

  CHAPTER 37

  One minute, I’m in Shrink’s office; the next, I’m in a cavernous room somewhere in Lalaland, sitting next to Elz and Winnie. Hugs all around. It’s so good to see them again. The compassionate look on their faces tells me they know about the recent tragic events in my life. What they can’t possibly know is the depth of my pain—a fiery, bottomless pit.

  I learn from Winnie that I’m attending my first EPA meeting—Evil People Anonymous. It’s a mandatory weekly support group for Faraway alumni who’ve recovered from their addiction to evil.

  I’m shocked by how many people are here. And by who’s here. Not surprisingly, I see Hook, Rump, The Wizard, and my sweet Pinocchio. But sitting in the front row are King Midas and his wife, The Queen of Hearts. To the right of them is The Emperor, who blows me a kiss. I also see my old buddy, that green ogre from the dungeon, and my roommate Gothel, who, seated next to Hook, eyes me with distrust. And lastly, Urma the masseuse, who waves to me with all eight arms.

  I’m anxious, not knowing what to expect. And then, I get another shock when familiar, heavy footsteps drum in my ears. The Huntsman! What is he doing here? My eyes follow him as he heads toward the podium.

  “Welcome,” he says. “Who would like to begin today and share their story?”

  The King rises and marches up to the podium.

  “My name is Midas, and I’m addicted to evil. My first wife was a social climber. To make her happy, I let a fairy grant me a wish: everything I touched would turn into gold. My wife was thrilled; she couldn’t spend the gold fast enough. Meanwhile, I began to throw my power around, hurting people around me. And then something terrible happened.”

  He takes in a deep breath, wiping off a patch of sweat above his brow. I’ve never seen him like this. I’m not sure if he’ll continue. He inhales one more time and, on the exhale, picks up where he left off in a voice that’s now soft and wistful.

  “I had a daughter. A beautiful bambina named Marigold whom I loved more than anything or anyone. Every morning, I would start my day by giving her kiss. And then one morning when I kissed her, my bambina turned into gold.”

  Bambina. The word echoes in my head as the group gasps. Midas must have been the man who gave me that gold coin. I’m certain now. I’m all ears as he continues.

  “I was devastated. I hated myself. I begged the fairy to break the spell. She granted me my wish and Marigold became a little girl again…”

  The group cheers.

  “But my angry wife ran away with her.”

  The group quiets. What a tragic story!

  “Did you ever see them again?” asks Winnie.

  “No,” says Midas, his voice cracking. “I wanted to end my life when I heard about Faraway. I checked myself in and had the good fortune to learn how destructive my greed was. And to meet my lovely second wife who bore me two wonderful sons.

  Only one son now. Fighting back tears, I wonder how The King and Queen have dealt with their loss and pain. I’m sure they’re taking care of Calla. Thank goodness. When I’m ready, I will ask them if I can visit my sweet little girl.

  Midas, composing himself, continues. “While I have been blessed with success, I learned at Faraway that the power of giving is mightier than the power of gold.”

  The Queen beams at her husband. Now, I understand why the ball was a fundraiser for Faraway.

  “Dear, tell everyone about your latest project,” urges The Queen.

  “Yes, I almost forgot. In lieu of building a luxury hotel on a site occupied by a former castle, I have chosen to build a school for boys and girls.”

  I can’t believe my ears. He’s turning my former residence into a public school. Calla will have a place to learn and be with other children. Maybe they’ll dedicate it to Gallant. The Gallant School for Boys and Girls. His spirit will live in both my heart and my home.

  Fraught with emotion, I stand up and applaud Midas. So do the others.

  The Emperor volunteers next. Flamboyantly dressed as usual, he sashays up to the podium.

  “Hello, dahlings. My name is Armando, and I’m addicted to evil.”

  How could my darling fairy godmother be addicted to evil? I find out as he tells his story of how his addiction to clothes caused him to ignore his kingdom.

  “I’m the original shopaholic. I changed my clothes every hour of the day. And I wouldn’t be caught dead in the same outfit twice. My palace was my closet.”

  He confesses that an embarrassing incident led him to Faraway.

  “What happened?” asks Elz.

  Armando blushes. “Dahling, let’s not go there.”

  He continues. At Faraway, he took a class that changed his life—Flossie’s sewing workshop. He discovered he enjoyed making clothes more than buying them. When he was sent back to Lalaland, he apprenticed as a tailor and worked his way up to being every princess’s favorite designer. The former shopaholic is now a workaholic.

  “Remember, dahlings,” he concludes, “clothes don’t make the person; it’s the person that makes the clothes.”

  A vision of myself in Armando’s magnificent black gown, floating in Gallant’s arms, fills my head as the room echoes with more cheers and claps. The Huntsman takes the podium again. He casts his eyes in my direction, bringing my fantasy to an abrupt end. I look away.

  “I’d like to welcome two new Faraway graduates, Rumpelstiltskin and…

  Here it comes. He’s going to say it. The Evil Queen.

  “Jane.” I take a deep breath. My real name.


  “Who would like to go first?” asks The Huntsman, still staring at me.

  I don’t think I can do this. To my relief, Rump stands up and teeter-totters to the podium.

  “Rumpelstiltskin is my n-name,” he stutters. And I-I’m addicted to evil.” The stuttering stops. “I threatened to take away a queen’s firstborn child.”

  My heart jumps with shock as the group gasps. Rump used an innocent baby as a means of extortion? What dark demons inside him would drive him to do such a terrible thing? Pity, not anger, fills me. My poor little man! How much pain and guilt he’s had to endure!

  Red in the face, he limps off the stage.

  Silence. Until Hook gives him an ear-piercing whistle.

  “Way to go, matey!” He leaps to his feet and mimics an applause with his good hand and hook. I follow him, clapping my hands zealously. One by one, the others join in.

  Rump, overwhelmed, breaks into a toothy grin. Lifting his stumpy arms above his head, he does a happy little jig.

  “Isn’t he adorable?” Elz whispers in my ear. Her face flushes. She’s clearly got a crush on him.

  My throat tightens. It’s my turn to talk. Winnie gives my hand a gentle squeeze as I rise. The walk up to the podium feels like an eternity.

  Facing my Faraway friends, I’m helplessly, hopelessly sad. Memories of Gallant dance in my head. I still don’t know if I can go through with this. Battling tears, please no more tears, I begin.

  “My name is Jane, and I’m addicted to evil.”

  And then the words ebb and flow out of my mouth. I talk about my love-hate affair with my mirror and how it drove me to evil. How it made me hate Snow White and want to destroy her. I also share what I learned about friendship at Faraway and how another beautiful little girl named Calla changed my life. But I deliberately stay away from talking about Gallant. I’m not ready to go there.

  The group is mesmerized by my story. Throughout, The Huntsman’s eyes stay glued on me.

  “What did you learn from the little girl?” asks Urma.

  There’s one answer. One word. “Love.”

  The true meaning of beauty. I step down from the podium, feeling strangely exhilarated.

  Everyone cheers. Elz and Winnie jump to their feet. The others follow.

  “Way to go, babe!” whistles Hook. Gothel elbows him. We could become fast friends.

  “Time’s almost up for today’s meeting,” announces The Huntsman, returning to the podium.

  I guess the others will tell their stories in the weeks to come. The Huntsman remains at the podium. His eyes, still locked on me, grow misty.

  “My name is Beau, and I’m addicted to evil. Many years ago, I fell prey to a beautiful, bewitching woman. I conceived a child with her—a beautiful daughter. I made a terrible mistake and was forced to abandon this little girl. I know this caused her great suffering. But she’s always been there in my heart. I’m sorry for what I did and pray she can forgive me.”

  His words move me like a tremor in the earth. Our eyes connect. His, green and wide-set like mine. Oh my God! Can it be? In a heartbeat, he vanishes.

  Holding a torch, I follow the group through a dark, damp underground passageway. Pinocchio clasps my hand as we march in silence. I shiver. I can’t stop thinking about what The Huntsman said. Too much has happened in one day.

  We tread up a steep flight of steps, and one by one exit through a trapped door. I’m surprised to find myself at the entrance to The Trove.

  A harvest moon lights up the night sky. It does little to brighten my spirits. Realizing I have no place to go, I ask Winnie if I can stay with her.

  “I don’t think you’ll need to,” she smiles.

  My eyes look up, and my heart almost stops. Heading toward me on a majestic white stallion is the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. He’s alive! Gallant’s alive!

  He swoops me up and we gallop away.

  It’s not a dream.

  My Prince has come.

  CHAPTER 38

  “Dahling, it’s so beyond,” gushes my fairy godmother Armando, wearing a gold brocade caftan and matching beret.

  He fluffs the fountain of sequin encrusted ivory tulle that pours down from my waist to my ankles. I look down. He’s right. My wedding gown is a work of art. And so are my matching shoes, custom made by Elz. Believe me, it wasn’t easy convincing her to keep the heel size down to three inches.

  Armando stands back and admires his creation. “When the Fairytale Tattler gets wind of this gown, knockoffs will be showing up everywhere.”

  Holding a large straw basket full of fragrant petals that surround Lady Jane, Calla, my flower girl, gazes up at me. “You look like a Princess Bride,” she beams, referring to “Uncle Occhio’s” new blockbuster doll line.

  Bending down, I kiss her in the center of the floral garland that circles her golden curls. A few tendrils of my hair, now several inches longer, escape my matching garland and fall into my face. My stomach bunches up with nerves. It all seems so unreal. I’m about to marry My Prince.

  The Queen wanted to do a lavish event in the ballroom of their castle. Personally, I had experienced one too many weddings there. And so had Gallant. We insisted on to doing it right in our own backyard—in Snow White’s rose and lily garden. And to keep it small. More like a Faraway reunion plus some close family members and friends of the royal family. Winnie, God bless her, handled every detail, right down to the icing on the cake.

  For a moment, I think about my first wedding—if you want to call it that—a loveless, perfunctory arrangement—witnessed only by a little girl hiding in the back of a somber, damp chapel. Snow White. The bittersweet irony of it all sends a shiver up my spine. And then I relax. How different today is. Where there was dark, there is light. Where there was cold, there is warmth. And where there was emptiness, there is joy.

  The sound of harp music outside signals my cue. A tingling mixture of nerves and joy races through me. Calla hands me my bouquet—a single white lily that Gallant handpicked. The symbol of everything I love. The French doors swing open and in walks the man who will give me away to my Prince. Standing proud and tall. The Huntsman. Beau. My father.

  My eyes meet his in a warm embrace as we lock arms and take our first steps across the threshold. His strong hold and steady gait make me feel at ease. Calla follows us, tossing petals from her basket.

  The high noon sun is shining brilliantly; the white blooms glisten, and chirping birds circle in the sky. My feathered friends who woke me up every morning at Faraway are singing me a love song. I smile, and then my heart skips a beat.

  Straight ahead of me is the man I love. Gallant, in his billowy white blouse and creamy leather britches, more beautiful to me than ever. Standing to his left are his best men, Hook and Charming and to his right, my maids of honor, Elz and Winnie, both beaming. Behind him is King Midas, his gold crown gleaming.

  Holding onto my father, I walk toward them slowly, taking in everything and relishing each magical step. I catch glimpses of the small crowd out of the corner of my eye. Shrink is hovering in the fragrant air between Grimm and the Badass Fairies. Gothel, Hook’s date, is seated in the back. Rump, who’s promised to take Elz on her long awaited high seas adventure—a honeymoon cruise—is seated in the second row next to Winnie’s husband John and their children, Hansel, Gretel and Curly, whom they adopted. Pinocchio, who graciously declined being a best man, is seated next to Peter Pan, whom he met at Shrink’s book signing party. They’ve become inseparable and do volunteer work at the Midas Orphanage for Lost Boys. Occupying every seat in the front row are the Seven Dwarfs; wearing matching hooded robes. Wow! They actually dressed up. The tiny mute one gives me a thumbs up as Cinderella breezes in, late as usual, and takes an empty seat next to the disgruntled Queen. That seat was originally meant for Oscar, the Queen’s new croquet partner, who unfortunately had planned a retirement party from wizardry.

  The walk up to Gallant feels something between eternity and the blink of an eye. His
whole face lights up as he takes me from my father. He clasps his hands firmly around mine, and my smile meets his. The butterflies inside my stomach flutter away. I’m floating like a feather as Midas begins.

  “Royally beloved, we are here to unite two people who have magically found each other. I will let them speak for themselves.”

  Gallant’s piercing blue eyes burn into mine as he delivers his vow.

  “My beloved Jane, where there has been cold, you have brought warmth; where my life was dark, you have brought light. From this day on, I promise to laugh with you in good times; to struggle with you in bad; to wipe your tears with my hands; to comfort you with my body; mirror you with my soul and love you until our lives shall come to an end.”

  It’s my turn. I swallow hard, forcing the rising lump in my throat to go away.

  “My beloved Gallant, I enter into this marriage with you, knowing that the true magic of love is not to avoid changes, but to embrace them. Let us commit to making each day of our lives more different and beautiful than the one before. Let me be the light inside your heart that brings out the best in you always until death do us part.”

  Gallant squeezes my hands. Elz is positively bawling, and there’s a chorus of sniffles in the crowd as Midas envelops us with his burly arms.

  “Do you, my son, take this woman…?”

  “I do,” says Gallant with a bright smile.

  “And do you, Jane…?”

  “I do,” I say without the slightest tremor.

  Midas removes two identical gold bands that are stacked on Hook’s hook and slips them on our ring fingers. Inscribed inside each of them is one word: Forever.

  “I hereby pronounce you husband and…”

  Before Midas can say “wife,” Gallant’s lips consume mine. I surrender myself shamelessly. Neither of us pulls away.

  Amid applause and cheers, Calla runs up to me and gives me a huge hug.

  She reaches into her basket, still half-full with petals, and pulls out something from under Lady Jane.