Heart of Gold

by Donna Grant

  I spoke to you, and while I knew you weren’t actually there, it felt good.

  I wish I had the nerve to seek you out and explain everything. I attempted an explanation today, but the words fell flat. If I don’t believe them, I know you won’t.

  I hold onto the hope that I will be able to tell you all of it someday. I hope you’ll listen. And while you may never forgive me, you should know the truth—one I couldn’t give you when I ended things.

  I withheld it from you not because I didn’t think you were strong enough to hear it, but because I wasn’t strong enough to say it. I am the King of Dragon Kings, but I think the magic chose wrong. I can face any enemy without hesitation, but when it comes to you, my love, I tremble. You whispered into my heart. You kissed my soul. And you showed me a love that I never dreamed could be mine.

  Because I know I’m not worthy. Because I love you more than you can comprehend.

  Because I’ve looked for you my entire life.

  I had your love for a brief time. Once a dragon finds his mate, no one can ever replace her. I ache for you, and that pain has sunk all the way into my soul. I keep going because the other Kings look to me for answers. How long can I go without you, though? I know a time will come when I won’t be able to continue on unless I have you beside me.

  A dragon without his mate is soulless. Forlorn. The only thing that keeps me going is hope. Hope that I’ll be able to mend the heart I shattered. Hope that your love for me won’t die.

  Inside the mountain, Con’s memories shifted to when Denae had come into Kellan’s life. Con, along with Kellan, Kiril, Banan, Rhys, and Henry, had been discussing Denae and who was after her, when Rhi teleported into his office.

  She was veiled, but Con had always been able to see through her veils. He had tried to ignore her at first, but it had been impossible with her staring at him. He’d allowed her to eavesdrop on the conversation because he was so happy that she was there.

  Then she sank sideways into an empty seat and dangled her legs over the arm of the chair. That’s when she dropped the veil. Con slid his gaze to her. He’d thought she might have something pithy to say. Instead, she stared wordlessly at him. He drank in her beauty, surprised and curious as to why she had come to Dreagan.

  “We’ve a visitor, gentlemen,” he told the others.

  Kellan’s head jerked to Rhi. “Cheeky. Even for you.”

  “It’s been a while, Kell. Nice to see you up and about,” she said with a wink.

  Banan merely shook his head, but Henry’s response was like a punch to Con’s gut. Henry, a mortal, was besotted with Rhi at first sight. To make matters worse, Rhi shot Henry a dazzling smile that made Con want to punch his fist through a wall.

  “What are you doing here, Rhiannon?” Con demanded.

  The sound of her full name made her smile slip. He knew she hated it, which was why he’d used it. Her gaze swiveled to him, and she gave him an icy glare.

  “And inside Dreagan,” Rhys said with a chuckle. “Are you trying to start a war?”

  Rhi shifted so she sat correctly in the chair. “I’m trying to divert one, actually.”

  “Are you helping us?” Kiril asked in surprise.

  Her eyes moved from Rhys to Kiril. “Now that you mention it, I don’t have to help.”

  Con knew she was about to leave. He was on the verge of repeating her name to keep her there so he could talk to her, but Kellan beat him to it.

  Rhi hesitated and looked at Kellan.

  “You came for a reason,” Con said. “What is it?”

  He couldn’t look away from her. He didn’t care why she had come, he was just happy that she was there. He would beg her to remain if he had to, but that would only get him the opposite response. If he knew one thing about Rhi, it was how to get her to do what he wanted—and that was to make her think he wanted the opposite.

  He leaned forward in his chair to rest his arms on his desk, the leather squeaking. “I doona think she has anything to say, Kellan. She came to rile us. Childish, but it worked. You can leave, Rhi. We actually have business to discuss.”

  Rhi laughed, but her eyes blazed with fury. She tossed her long, onyx locks over her shoulder. “Business? That’s a laugh. You’re talking about MI5 and Denae. Don’t think to threaten me as if I’m a child.”

  “What do you know of Denae?” Henry asked.

  Con wanted to slam his hand on the desk. The last thing he wanted was for Rhi to take notice of Henry again. But his question got her attention. When she looked at him, Henry’s mouth went slack.

  Con clenched his hands into fists and ground his teeth together as Rhi rose and walked to the human, looking him over as if he were a new toy.

  “Rhi,” Kellan warned in a low voice.

  She paused beside Kellan. “Who is the mortal?”

  In that instant, Con considered ridding the world of Henry North once and for all, simply because his mate smiled at him.

  Snapping back to the present, Con rubbed his eyes, wondering why he was traveling down the road of such memories. Yet he found himself recalling when Balladyn had taken Rhi…

  They had been going after Sammi, who had been taken by the Dark. Balladyn and Rhi had already had a couple of run-ins, and Con still wasn’t sure exactly who the Fae was to her. Still, it was enough that they had history.

  Con had been watching Rhi ready herself to go back into the Darks’ tunnels when Balladyn was suddenly behind her, a blade pressed beneath her chin. Rhi’s eyes went right to him. It was everything Con could do not to react. Every fiber of his being wanted to rush to her side, to shift into his dragon form and douse Balladyn with dragon fire, ending him right then and there.

  But Con couldn’t do any of that with Rhi standing so close to Balladyn. All he could do was watch, helpless, as the Dark whispered into Rhi’s ear.

  “I’ve been waiting for this for a long time,” Balladyn told her while staring directly at Con.

  That’s when Con realized that Balladyn wasn’t just after Rhi. He was after him. Con dove for them at the same instant Balladyn teleported himself and Rhi out.

  Every day after felt like an eternity, knowing the Dark tortured Rhi. Con feared she would turn Dark herself or be killed—and he wasn’t sure which was worse.

  Then, finally, they were in Balladyn’s dungeon searching for Rhi. When he found her, he almost didn’t recognize her. Balladyn was beside her, whispering something that Con didn’t quite catch. Suddenly, the smile was wiped from the Dark’s face as he rose and quickly took several steps back, and Rhi began to glow.

  Balladyn teleported out. Con shouted a warning to the others as he started toward Rhi in an attempt to calm her. “Rhi, you need to focus. Think of creating, not destroying!”

  She didn’t seem to hear him. When he touched her, her skin burned his. Her head lifted, and the illumination shot from her eyes. Her lips parted. When she screamed, the glow burst from her mouth.

  A half-second of silence passed before the explosion shook the very foundation of the compound. Con flew backwards and was instantly trapped by falling rock. The moment the dust settled, he searched the rubble for Rhi. He found her, unmoving. He wanted to get to her and cradle her in his arms, but he wasn’t the one who came to Rhi’s rescue. Ulrik did.

  You touched not just my heart but also my soul. As no other has.

  Chapter Six

  I look in the mirror and see a young face, but it covers that of an ancient being who drifts from one endless day to the next. I cling to the hope of being with you again. I don’t deserve you, but I crave you like I covet the wind over my scales.

  The world is in chaos. A constant drone of disorder, war, and anger rages. But then there’s you. The stillness in the storm. The sound of your laughter, the way you used to caress my face, the taste of your kiss. You touched not just my heart but also my soul. As no other has. You opened a world to me I never thought would be mine.

  And then you were gone.

  It was my doi
ng. And I regret it every moment of every day.

  I let you go, severing the bond of our love for the good of my brethren. Would things have been different had I chosen you? Could I have kept the Kings together even with the jealousy and resentment I saw brewing? Was I a coward to turn my back on you, my mate, for the Kings?

  We both know the answer to that.

  What I did, I did for my brethren. But I fear it will mean my demise. For I can’t live without you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

  I love you.

  * * *

  Rhi lowered the journal to her lap as she lifted her gaze. She looked out the window to see that the sun had begun its descent in the sky. She couldn’t believe that she had been reading for so long, but Con’s words, written with such raw intensity and naked sincerity had a profound effect on her.

  All those years, she’d thought he had forgotten about the love they shared. When in reality, he had suffered and grieved more than she. He’d simply hidden it all behind a mask of indifference. That’s what got her the most. Because she knew that’s what he did when he was hurting. Her wounded heart hadn’t allowed her to see the truth, though.

  If he hadn’t finally come to her, if he hadn’t remained by her side even when she told him to leave, they likely wouldn’t be together now. He might have ended things initially, but he was also the one who brought their love back from the grave.

  She closed the journal, keeping her finger between two pages to hold her place as her mind began thinking of something she could do for him. Everything Con did, every decision he made, every act, was for those at Dreagan. It was time that someone did something for him.

  A smile pulled at her lips as a plan started to take root. First, however, she needed to finish the journal. She reopened the book and flipped to the next page. The entries became decidedly shorter as if he had to get the words on paper no matter how difficult they were.

  * * *

  You are always in my thoughts: morning, noon, and night, and all the spaces in between.

  It’s just you.

  Always you.

  * * *

  I miss you so badly the ache transcends time itself.

  * * *

  To love so profoundly that I cannot tell where I end, and you begin—made that much more difficult to bear because you aren’t beside me.

  * * *

  When Rhi closed the journal, she put her hand atop it and smiled. Then she rose and walked to Con’s bedside table and set the red book down. She left the bedroom and made her way toward the stairs, where she encountered Lexi and Thorn.

  Rhi glanced down. “Have either of you seen Con?”

  “No’ since he ended the meeting early,” Thorn replied.

  Lexi’s slate gray eyes held concern as she asked in a Southern accent, “Everything all right?”

  “It’s perfect,” Rhi replied.

  Thorn arched a dark brow. “You say that despite the tear stains on your face?”

  Rhi wiped at her cheeks. “They’re happy tears.” She smiled. “Don’t expect Con or me for the rest of the day or evening. Spread the word.”

  With that, Rhi whirled around and rushed back into the bedroom. She snapped her fingers to produce some red paper and a pen with glittery gold ink. Then she sat down and began to craft her own love notes.

  By the time she was finished, she was giddy with excitement. She took all the pieces of paper and folded them before teleporting all around Dreagan, making a trail to lead Con to the place she’d chosen. She glanced at the sky to see that more time had passed than she wanted. After teleporting back to the manor, she went looking for Ulrik.

  “I need a favor,” she told the King of Silvers.

  Ulrik smiled, his arms crossed over his chest. “Oh?”

  “Stop that,” Eilish told him as she playfully hit him in the arm.

  Rhi smiled at the Druid in thanks before returning her attention to Ulrik. “I need you to make sure Con finds the note I left him in our room.”

  “Is that all?” he asked.

  Rhi glanced down at her clothes, her mind running through different ideas of what to wear. “Don’t let anyone stop him. Or help him,” she added.

  “We won’t,” Eilish promised.

  Rhi flashed them a bright smile. “Thank you. Now, we need to get him to the manor. Or is he already here?”

  “Last I saw him, he was in his mountain,” Ulrik answered. “Getting him here willna be a problem. Go. We’ll take care of this for you.”

  Rhi placed a kiss on his cheek and then Eilish’s. “Thank you both.”

  I want you in so many ways that I can’t put it into words.

  Chapter Seven

  Con strode out of the mountain and headed through the secret door in the manor’s conservatory. His strides were long as he searched for Ulrik, who had asked him to return. He found his friend in the library. Ulrik sat on the sofa before the fire with Eilish.

  Ulrik looked up from rubbing his mate’s feet as she lay on the couch, reading a book. “Hey.”

  “Is everything good?” Con asked, worry filling him.

  Things had been quiet for several months, and that wasn’t usual at Dreagan. He’d been waiting for something to happen. Had that time finally come?

  Ulrik nodded and jerked his chin toward the stairs. “Rhi wants you.”

  Con frowned, wondering why Rhi hadn’t come looking for him. He decided against asking the couple if they knew anything and instead turned on his heel and made his way to the stairs. He took the steps three at a time. As he reached the landing of the top floor and passed V’s chamber, he heard V’s and Claire’s laughter.

  He was thrilled that the couple was so happy. So far, Claire’s pregnancy had been going well. Her due date was fast approaching, so everyone was on pins and needles. Con shifted his mind from them to Rhi. When he reached the door to their chambers, he opened it and scanned the room for her. When he didn’t immediately see her, he moved farther inside and called out her name.

  Unease rippled through him as he walked to the bathroom and looked inside. He looked in both his closet and hers, but he still didn’t see her. It wasn’t until he stood in the middle of their bedroom and cast a more critical eye around the space that he spotted the journal on the table. He slowly went to it and brushed his fingers over the red leather cover. That’s when he saw the paper sticking out.

  Con lifted the journal and opened it. A piece of red paper floated out and down, but he easily caught it. He set the book aside and spotted Rhi’s flowy handwriting in gold glitter ink on the red stationery.

  * * *

  Open me. I’ll show you the way.

  * * *

  Con unfolded the paper and smiled as he read:

  * * *

  Hey, handsome!

  * * *

  I’ve planned a scavenger hunt for you. If you find all the love notes, you’ll find me. There are eight in all. This is your first one.

  I want you in so many ways that I can’t put it into words.

  * * *

  R

  * * *

  Con folded the note and tucked it into the inside pocket of his suit jacket. He took another look around the room before he strode into the hallway. After looking first one way and then the other, Con made his way to his office. The other rooms on the third floor were for each of the Dragon Kings and their mates if they had them, which meant Rhi wouldn’t put a note in any of those spaces. Nor did he expect her to leave one in Ryder’s computer room.

  When Con reached his office, he opened the door and stepped inside. He found the red paper neatly folded and tucked into a crystal glass next to the decanter of Dreagan whisky on his sideboard. He walked over and opened it.

  * * *

  You’re the only one who can give me strength and make me weak at the same time.

  That’s how I knew you were it for me.

  That’s how I knew you weren’t just The One, but the only one.

  * * *

 
; Con folded the second note and tucked it away. Then he thought about other places Rhi might have left a note in the manor. He immediately made his way to the library, ignoring Ulrik and Eilish. During December, when he and Rhi had most of the month alone at Dreagan, they’d spent a lot of time in the library.

  He found the red paper in the arms of a wooden dragon on a bookshelf.

  * * *

  You’ve seen the ugly parts of me. And despite them, you still love me.

  * * *

  Con checked every room on the main floor and came up empty until he reached the conservatory. There, between the blushy pink petals of Rhi’s favorite flower—peonies—was a red piece of paper.

  * * *

  You believed in me when others didn’t. You stood beside me during my darkest hours. I will always stand beside you.

  * * *

  Con put the note away, his gaze going to the door that led into the mountain. He walked through it and started down the tunnel. He found a note stuck to the rock next to the first dragon he had carved in the mountain.

  He ran his hand over the figure of the gold dragon before he reached for the note.

  * * *

  Now and forever. Two words that describe the time I want to be with you.

  * * *

  After putting the missive with the rest of the notes, Con continued on. He searched more of the tunnels and caverns but didn’t see any more red. He then walked out the back side of the mountain.