Brew or Die
Page 32
His eyes bulged out. “You are?”
“Yep.”
Breaking into a huge grin, he said, “That’s fantastic! What made you decide to take the plunge?”
My stage fright had prevented me from performing for years. With strong encouragement from Pete and Stafford, I’d gotten up the nerve to sing again. But I only did it at Java Jive’s open mic nights, and only if Pete was with me onstage for moral and musical support. It might have seemed like a baby step, but even that was huge for me. Tonight’s solo performance was monumental.
“I thought it was time I started standing on my own. It’s all part of my new ‘I don’t need a man’ initiative. No boyfriends, no musical sidekicks. You know—girl power.”
My newfound independence was being put to the test this week. Ryder and Maya had come to me separately and told me that they were considering dating again, both stressing to me that they would only go ahead with their relationship if I was totally okay with it. Of course I said yes—who was I to choose my happiness over theirs, especially since I’d told Ryder I couldn’t see us getting back together? So I boxed up my feelings for him and set them aside. I was a pro at it where Pete was concerned, having stifled my feelings for him for over a decade. Surely this would be cake.
Pete glanced at his watch. “Well, you’d better get your girl power out onstage. It’s time to start and you’re first. What song are you doing?”
“It’s a new one. You haven’t heard it yet.”
Disappointment evident on his face, he said, “You wrote the chords and everything and didn’t even let me put in my two cents? You really are going this alone.”
Every time I wrote a song, I always went to Pete for help with the chords, most of the time turning my lyrics over to him and letting him do the rest. This was the first song that was one hundred percent my creation.
I shrugged. “What can I say? Girl power.”
I followed Pete out to the stage, where Shane (who was somewhat friendlier toward me now that Josie’s murder was solved) was finishing up with the welcome and listing of the “rules” and proper etiquette for open mic night. Pete jumped up and took the mic from Shane so he could introduce me.
“We have a special treat for you tonight. In her first solo performance in years, the lovely…the talented…Juliet Langley, doing a new song that’s never been heard by another living soul.”
His intro was a bit much, but it made me chuckle and helped shake some of my nerves out. I’d purposely told no one I was performing tonight. It made it easier, because Ryder would have insisted on coming to watch, and I didn’t think I could get through this song knowing he was in the audience.
I sat down on the stool in front of the mic, surprisingly calm about this performance. Maybe all the “girl power” bullshit I kept telling myself and spouting to others was actually working.
Taking a full breath, I sang,
Didn’t think I’d see you again, but there you are, there you stand
Heart on your sleeve, holding out your hand.
What is this force that draws me to you?
I’m powerless against it; don’t know what to do.
What if I fall? Would you be there to catch me?
What if I fall? This time will we see it through?
What if I fall? Would I lose myself again?
What if I fall? What if I fall for you?
Old habits die hard, they say, and all wounds are healed in time.
I should move on. The world, it’s passing me by.
But with you near, time stands still.
Your arms feel like home; promise me they always will.
What if I fall? Would you be there to catch me?
What if I fall? This time will we see it through?
What if I fall? Would I lose myself again?
What if I fall? What if I fall for you?
During the guitar interlude, I snuck a glance at Pete. He was at the side of the stage, beaming at me. I could practically feel the proud vibes radiating off him. It gave me a boost of confidence to finish out the song:
There you go, pulling me in. Don’t you know I’m caving?
Never could get you out of my mind. Maybe we could give it another try.
What if I fall? Would you be there to catch me?
What if I fall? This time will we see it through?
What if I fall? Would I lose myself again?
What if I fall? What if I fall for you?
Can’t help myself, I’m falling for you.
The crowd erupted into applause, and Pete stormed the stage to give me a hug.
“That was amazing, Jules. You were amazing.”
I grinned. “I was, wasn’t I?”
“Oh, watch out, Nashville. I think the old singing sensation Juliet Langley has just made her comeback. Are we ready for the world tour?”
“Maybe let’s not jump straight to the world tour. I’ll consider a larger venue than Java Jive for my next performance. How’s that?”
“I’m behind you every step of the way. Anything you need—you name it.”
“All I need is my best friend.”
Pete smiled. “You’ll always have that.”
To my daughter Lizzie, who is conquering her stage fright one performance at a time.
Acknowledgments
Special thanks to Ethan Ellenberg, my agent, for his constant encouragement. To Julia Maguire, my editor, and the staff at Random House Alibi, for their support and guidance. To Mitzi Templeton, my forensics professor and ISP firearms examiner, and Kim Early, ISP drug chemist, for answering my many questions about synthetic drugs and inspiring this story. To Karen Franklin, Zanna Mackenzie, and Deborah Nam-Krane, for being my fantastic beta reading team yet again. And a big thanks to my husband and kids, for being helpful and understanding when I had deadlines to meet.
BY CAROLINE FARDIG
The Lizzie Hart Mysteries
It’s Just a Little Crush
That Old Black Magic
Bad Medicine
My Funny Valentine
Wedding Bell Blues
The Java Jive Mysteries
Death Before Decaf
Mug Shot
A Whole Latte Murder
Brew or Die
PHOTO: JENNYLYNN PHOTOGRAPHY
CAROLINE FARDIG is the USA Today bestselling author of the Java Jive Mysteries series and the Lizzie Hart Mysteries series. Fardig’s Bad Medicine was named one of the best books of 2015 by Suspense Magazine. She worked as a schoolteacher, church organist, insurance agent, funeral parlor associate, and stay-at-home mom before she realized that she wanted to be a writer when she grew up. Born and raised in a small town in Indiana, Fardig still lives in that same town with an understanding husband, two sweet kids, two energetic dogs, and one malevolent cat. Recordings of her original songs can be found on her website at carolinefardig.com/music.
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