by Milly Taiden
“Not those particular toys, but I have tried other ones.” He took my hand and weaved his fingers with mine, watching my face as if any twitch of my cheeks or blink of an eye was a sign for him. “You don’t strike me as someone who would enjoy being spanked, T. And I can guarantee you I would never push you past your limits.”
“Thank you. I didn’t think you would, but then again I don’t really know you that way.”
“Are you afraid we won’t be compatible sexually?”
My instinct told me we’d be more than compatible. We’d freaking rock in bed because not only was Adrian’s body like a woman’s fantasy playground, but having had him so long ago I knew his goods and expertise could have only improved.
“No, I’m pretty sure we’d be fine.” I felt the rush of heat flow to my cheeks again.
His head leaned against the seat. “Have you thought about me in your bed?”
Oh, my God! What kind of a question was that? Adrian was serious, too. I wanted to tell him I thought about him in my bed, in my shower, while teaching Pilates, during shopping, and when sitting in a car—just like we were right now. Not only that, I’d imagined him filling me over and over again since the day he came back to my life.
“Yes,” I whispered.
More often than I’d like to admit.
A rumble escaped on his next breath. “I’ve thought about us, too. About how your body has changed and whether I remember the taste of that delicate skin between your thighs. I’ve imagined nibbling on your nipples, feeling you tighten around my fingers, and kissing you like you’re my goddess. But I’m not going to push us too fast. I want this to happen naturally, like when we were younger. I’m in this for the long run, T, and will do nothing to hurt you, frighten you, or make you uncomfortable. And I can promise you, all the things I’ve imagined doing to your body don’t require any toys at all to bring pleasure all night and all day.”
My nipples pebbled just at his words. Please push us! Push away.
“And if you keep looking at me like that with those big beautiful eyes, this car will be our only stop tonight because once I have you I will not let you go until morning.”
I took a deep breath, lifted my head, and said, “Twenty years may stand between us, but I trust you beyond what my conscience is telling me to trust about any man.”
“That’s because you’ve been hurt. Badly scarred by someone you trusted, and I’m not talking about Dan.”
When had Adrian finished his psychology degree? No one knew what had happened to me, not even Dan. It had taken everything I had to erase that memory. All my relationships thereafter had required so much time to trust a man again. And if that trust was broken—I could never forget it.
“I’ve lost too much in my life not to recognize that what’s in front of me is precious.” He looked ahead to the long road in front of us, and then turned toward me again. Without a warning, Adrian leaned over and cupped my face in his hands, bringing it to his. His lips crushed mine, completely overpowering me with their dominance. He pressed his mouth so hard against mine, I couldn’t breathe. I let him maneuver my lips between his, feeling his tongue slide inside me with persistence and longing. The tips of his fingers caressed my cheeks and his hands tilted my head for that perfect angle. I completely gave myself to him, hearing my pulse drum in my ears and blood rush through my veins at incredible speeds. And just as I was beginning to forget where I was, he said, “Let’s finish this conversation in a few minutes. It will be much more comfortable, at least for me.”
Adrian then adjusted his crotch. My gaze flew to the erection straining underneath his jeans as he pulled onto the road, grinning.
I exhaled, holding onto the seat underneath me, trying to control the spinning in my mind. Did I forget to breathe?
In another five minutes he turned onto a narrow street, close to his house but not quite, and parked on a grass clearing between two trees. Walking around, he opened my door, and then removed a backpack from the trunk, a huge telescope, and the black bag my mother had given him.
“We’re going to watch stars?”
“We’re going to do much more than watch the stars, T. You’ll be so impressed with my talents you’ll see stars with your eyes closed.” He winked.
“Wipe that smug look off your face, or I’ll take out my paddle after all.”
Where did that come from? My heart picked up. I sensed a shift in the way I could talk to Adrian so openly and without fear. I slowly began to feel like my old self, like the brave girl he’d met so many years ago.
“T, you can do to me whatever you want. So long as you’re with me, I’m the luckiest guy alive. Come on.”
He swung the backpack over his shoulder, grabbed the telescope underneath his arm and my mother’s black bag in his left hand, and took my hand into his right. How much more could he carry? I kept up with Adrian’s long steps over a hill before the sound of a stream hit my ears. No, this was more than a stream. Beyond the brush a glimmer of water shone as it flew down off a cliff. The waterfall broke in a large pool beneath before flowing down into the stream. The area was surrounded by colorful shrubs and took my breath away. I thought places like this only existed in exotic destinations.
He set the telescope aside and spread out a blanket he’d had in the backpack. He removed his shirt, and I just stood there, watching him undress in the middle of nowhere as if he were Tarzan ready to claim his jungle. As always, those beautiful muscles of his flexed as if on demand, each one trying to outdo another. I wondered what sort of workout routine he followed to make his body look so deliciously enticing. This was definitely not the way I remembered him.
Once the jeans flicked open, my gaze remained on his hands, and I swear he removed them in slow motion. Underneath, Adrian already wore swim shorts—ones that appeared to be barely holding onto his narrow hips just beneath the hip bone. The triangular muscles above the waistband formed a perfect ridge that dove into the shorts.
“You keep looking at me like this and cool water will not help me, either,” he warned, handing me the plastic black bag. “Open it, change, and join me, please?” Adrian kissed me, turned around, and dove into the water.
Inside the bag was my bathing suit. My mother had of course picked the skimpiest one she could have, cut so low I could barely call them panties.
I took the moment Adrian submerged and using the blanket’s cover quickly changed into the two-piece. “Is it cold?” I asked.
“It’s perfect and it’s deep, so don’t expect to touch the bottom.”
I pushed off the ledge and dove head first into the pool. The current dragged my top down and I yanked the two triangles back up before I surfaced.
“This water is the clearest I’ve seen anywhere,” Adrian remarked as he swam up to me.
“Please tell me you didn’t see that.”
“But I’d be lying if I said no. You know, I don’t really mind you naked, but did you happen to lose something?”
He lifted his arm above his head. The lower half of my suit dangled from his finger.
“Yes!” As soon as he lowered my panties to the surface, I grabbed them out of his hand and rushed to pull them back on.
“It’s not like you’ll have those on the entire time tonight,” he teased.
I ignored his chummy sense of humor and swam toward the waterfall. There, the shallower bottom allowed me to stand, and I adjusted my nearly nonexistent attire. Within seconds Adrian’s arms were around me, reaching down from behind for my hands. Our fingers interlaced and I lifted my head up and tilted it back, meeting his larger lips. His mouth covered mine. The dominance of his strength transferred through the kiss. I twisted in his arms, turning to face him, and felt myself being lifted out of the water. I held onto his neck, wrapping my legs around his waist, pressing myself to him like a savage, but I just couldn’t get enough of his divine lips. He stepped to the right and my back touched the cold rock surface. My lower lip found itself in his mouth as he bit it tende
rly, and then his tongue dipped back inside me, grazing against mine, curving gently between my tender gums.
My hands played with his wet hair as his fingers dug into my ass, molding my behind as he held me. Underneath my ass, his arousal was hard and I fought the urge to jump off him and feel his length grow in my hands. God, how I wanted him! I wasn’t sure how long we remained like this—like two reckless teenagers without a care in the world, savoring each second of our deep kiss, twining our limbs, completely enveloped in each other. There was something so enticing about kissing the first man who’d stolen my heart. The first one who had kissed me, touched me, and made love to me: the one whom I’d bared my body to for the first time. The man who’d first seen me naked and christened my skin with his hands and lips like it was created only for him.
My sex dripped with desire for him. When my feet finally touched the ground, his free hand slid up my hip and ribcage, grasping my breast. I sucked in his breath, needing him to rip that bathing suit off me. A deep yearning surged through my veins. Adrian’s hard length poked through his shorts into my belly. I stepped up on my toes, careful not to slip so that I could grind myself against him. Frenzy built inside me with each twist of my hips. I was no longer a responsible mother, but a woman whose needs had been denied for far too long. I wanted to feel all the exquisite things he could do with my body as a man.
“Let’s get more comfortable, T.” He pulled away, his suggestion thick with lust.
That was when I noticed I was trembling, though I wasn’t sure whether that was from the water or from the raw emotion coursing through my body.
“Please,” I begged.
His pierced brow rose and I didn’t need to ask again. Adrian’s lips took my mouth again and his hand slid down my belly and into my panties. The moment he touched my folds I thought I’d explode. Pulling away from his mouth, I parted my legs, panting. His lips skimmed down my neck and to my breasts. He removed the little triangle with his teeth and his hot tongue swept across my hard nipple, all the while pulling his fingers through my folds, expertly playing with my tender flesh before wedging his fingers inside me. A whimper slid out of my mouth and I tensed around him, sucking in a sharp breath. His hand felt so good there, I couldn’t get enough.
I concentrated on Adrian’s succulent pull of the tongue around my areola. He squeezed my nipple between his lips, pulling it outward before releasing. A sharp sting zapped across my chest.
“You’re just as pink as I remember,” he murmured against my skin as his fingers slowly worked in and out of me. “I wanted to do this differently, but I don’t think I can wait anymore.” Adrian’s other hand slid down to the string on his shorts. He fumbled there, grinding his teeth, and I assumed it was difficult to untie. And there was no way he could pull them off without loosening the string with that erection. His other hand still cupped my pussy, his fingers teasing and probing while his thumb strummed my clit in an excruciating circular pattern. I couldn’t concentrate enough to help him with those damned shorts, so I just said, “Don’t wait.” I spread my legs wider for him, getting ready. As I did, my foot slipped on the rock. Adrian caught me before I fell and withdrew his fingers.
“We need to find a safer spot.” He pulled the bikini over my breast.
“This is good.” I grasped his hand, leading it down to where it was before. His eyes bore through mine sparkling with lust.
“Stay still,” he whispered. “I don’t want you to slip.”
And with those words he lowered to his knees, tugged on my panties and closed his mouth around my flesh.
“Oh God!” I splayed my hands against the back wall, desperate for support.
I shut my eyes. It had been so long—too long.
His warm tongue swiped along my flesh before resting on the sensitive tip, and that first touch felt as if fire itself was licking through me. The tightness that had been building in my core would explode in seconds. My hips jerked forward all on their own. I couldn’t hold on. Adrian’s swift fingers probed me again, one, or maybe two at a time. Yes, that felt so good. I tightened around him, lost to the sound of falling water and the succulent noises he made as devoured me. I looked down at his bobbing head below me. His eyes were closed as water dripped off the waterfall down my body and onto his face. My hands flew to his head, steadying him in that right spot… and with a longer lick and suck I was falling.
My body tensed for a moment before becoming limp, sagging against him, consumed by the beautiful release that spread through me, starting from where Adrian’s mouth was nourishing my need and zapping through my torso and limbs. His other hand held my bottom steady as I shook underneath him, finally using my hands to lift his mouth up until he stood up.
“Holy shit.” Winded by the crushing orgasm, I couldn’t take enough air into my lungs. My fingers flew for the string in his shorts again. As I tried to move faster, I nearly slipped.
“Safer spot, T. There’s no way I can do this on the slippery rocks the way I want to.” He smiled against my lips. His arms were now splayed against the stone wall at the side of my head.
“No, no. I need you inside me. Like right now,” I purred into his ear, feeling myself drip with more need every second.
The strength of his excitement pressing through his shorts was hot underneath my palm as I gave up on the string and slipped my hand inside, grasping him.
“Ah, T.” His voice was strained. “I need you too, but I don’t want you slipping and hitting your head on the rock. I need to return you to your kids in one piece.”
Yup, and that brought me back from my frenzied state to reality. I slowly removed my hand from inside of his shorts.
“Oh, my God! What am I doing? I’m a mother.”
“You’re a woman, T. A beautiful and sexy woman with needs I want to satisfy over and over again.” He kissed me. “Come to the blanket.”
Adrian grasped my hand, and once I pulled up my panties we swam to the shore. He wrapped me into a towel and then into his arms, watching my face. This would actually happen, me and him, together once again. Anticipation vibrated through my body, yet I hesitated.
Adrian lay down on his back, pulling me down to him. I remained on my front on the blanket, tracing my finger along the black lines of his tattoo, up his arm and over his shoulder. Goosebumps covered his skin where I touched him.
I wanted his mouth on me again and his fingers inside me, his thickness throbbing against my inner walls, but was this too fast? It had been barely a week, and I was ready to sleep with him. And for the world of me, why was I doubting myself again?
“You look like you want to say something,” he said.
“I do, I just don’t know how to say it.”
Take me now.
He lifted my chin with his finger. “What happened to that brave girl who asked me to be her first?”
His eyes shone like deep turquoise waters, beckoning me to share my hidden secrets.
“She grew up. Life slapped her across the face and removed the romantic from her soul.” Adrian was right. I used to speak my mind without a filter and fight for what was mine and what I believed in. Back then I’d trusted my instinct to be my guide more than I did now. The girl he’d known had somehow vanished as years passed by. But now, with Adrian at my side, I was beginning to see her slowly appear again, the way I had under that waterfall. It was as if I was emerging from a cocoon that had wrapped around me with hundreds of threads of life’s battles. I was finally beginning to feel like no one could shut me out again.
“You have that same look you had in the car... this isn’t about Dan, is it?”
“No.” I shook my head. “Kissing you, I sometimes wonder how different my life would have been if we’d found a way to stay together. I wonder whether I would have kept that spunk I used to have and not have changed.”
“You still have that spunk. I can see it in your eyes and feel it through your body. When you let go, it’s like you’re back the way I remember you. And then at s
ome moments you disappear, which makes me hesitate because I don’t want you uncomfortable. Who hurt you?” he asked.
“How…” I gasped. “It doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago.” I shrugged the lie off me.
“It matters to me. Tell me about it.” He stretched out on his side, supporting himself on his elbow, patiently waiting for me to speak. Even when he was towering above me, I’d never felt safer than with Adrian. I picked a strand of grass to play with before I continued.
“His name was Colin. I started dating him when I came back that summer you weren’t available. I needed to get back to dating others, so I could somehow forget you.” I rolled my eyes. “I was stupid. I should have listened to my heart. It told me that I could never forget what we had.”
A nervous laugh left on my next breath, but Adrian didn’t say anything. He was still waiting. This was so unusual for me. No one had ever wanted to listen the way he did. Or maybe I’d just never found the right person I could bare my soul to.
“I never told anyone about this. Not anyone,” I whispered.
“Tell me, T.” Adrian’s voice soothed my apprehension.
“Colin had this walk about him, the confident kind that you do—that’s what I noticed first about him. He reminded me of you, and I immediately had hope that maybe I could make this relationship work. It’s what I always noticed about any guy who caught my attention—deep inside I wished that somehow they could be you. That they could fill that hole in my heart. But no one ever could.”
I threw the grass to the side and saw that my hands were trembling again. Adrian took them into his, pulled me to him, and wrapped me in his arms. My head rested on his chest. His even breaths and the sound of his heart were hypnotizing, so I continued, “Except for Dan. My ex-husband was the only man I’d dated who didn’t remind me of you at all. Maybe that’s why I married him. I thought he challenged me, but it was only a way of shutting me out. Anyways, Colin turned out to be an asshole who didn’t understand the word no.”
