by Milly Taiden
In the ditch below, the persistent sound of a car’s horn broke through the rain, and my heart stopped. The headlights in Adrian’s Jeep flashed on and off a few times before dimming to a low glow. Smoke rose up from under its crushed hood, but Adrian wasn’t coming out. Sprinting through the mud toward him, I got my feet buried to ankle depth, but I pushed through. Most of the car windows were shattered. Seeing him there squashed against the airbag, I covered my mouth. Blood dripped down his face and out of his ear. His eyes were closed. I fought through the oncoming nausea, pushing the light-headed feeling away. There was no way I’d pass out now.
“Adrian! Adrian, can you hear me? Hold on, the ambulance is on its way. Please hold on. Somebody help me! Please help!” I screamed. Someone else called from a distance, muffled.
I kept touching his face, searching for a sign of life. “I am not losing you again, you hear me? Not again.”
I listened for Adrian’s breathing, but couldn’t hear any. In that moment I wished the final breath before you died lasted forever, just so I could selfishly savor it one last time. I lowered my cheek to Adrian’s face, needing to feel the warmth of his exhale, but it wasn’t there. My trembling fingers rested against his still-warm skin as I touched the side of his neck looking for a pulse, but I couldn’t find a beat. I stayed there, pressed against his bloody face, until someone pulled me off his unmoving body.
CHAPTER 29
“Please, don’t leave me!” I cried out. “You can’t leave me! I love you! Please.”
I cried that night until no more tears would come out, and then fell into a comatose state. At first, I couldn’t answer anyone—I just sat there and stared into space. Hours later, I began to nod my answers or shake my head. When my mother brought my kids to the hospital, the shock wore off. I jumped right into my Mom mode, going through the motions of holding my children and telling them that everything would be all right. Yet why wasn’t I convinced?
Could someone please confirm that it would be? Anyone?
No matter what, Adrian would remain in my heart until the day I died; maybe even after that.
*
Baskets of flowers decorated Adrian’s porch. The stacks of bouquets blocked the entrance and their fragrance overpowered my senses. I moved them aside as I made my way toward the front door. Somewhere deep inside, by some miracle I held on to the hope that Adrian would be standing beyond the threshold, but of course he wouldn’t be here.
Rocky greeted me, jumping up on my leg, and then whimpered around as if looking for Adrian. Poor pup had been on his own for twenty-four hours, but with the downstairs window slightly ajar, he could at least go out when he needed to. I picked him up, saying, “You’ll be staying with us now.”
On my next breath, Adrian’s scent filled me. I crossed the threshold on my shaking feet to see whether anything needed to be thrown out of the fridge, but when I stepped into the kitchen, I wasn’t sure I could do it. I pulled my finger along the counter where I’d sat a few days earlier. I hadn’t been able to process it all yet. Something had snapped inside me, and since the accident I’d gone into a robot mode, needing to remain strong for everyone around me. I couldn’t break down. Not now. I’d wait until I was alone for that. I wouldn’t let myself cry either. I’d leave that for the nights.
Isabelle and Tyler had driven me to the airport to pick up Matt that morning. I’d called him to tell him about the accident, and Matt had booked the first available flight out to Canada. When Adrian’s son had stepped through the door at the airport, I’d felt like I’d gone back in time. Matt looked so much like his father. My heart clenched. How in the world would I get him through this?
We’d driven here straight from the airport to get Rocky, and part of me now wished I’d taken Dan up on his offer to pick up the pup for me. But I was afraid the Chihuahua wouldn’t go with anyone else. Still, my ex-husband had stayed by my side the entire time. He wouldn’t let me drive or do any work, had canceled all my classes for the week, and completely took over my parental responsibilities with the household and our kids.
“Matt, this is your father’s house, but I’d like it if you stayed with us for a while,” I said, handing Rocky to Christa.
I didn’t want Matt to be alone in a new country, especially now. I didn’t want to be alone either. I had to keep busy: anything to keep my mind away from the accident and from the dozens of unanswered messages on my phone. What was I supposed to say, other than that Adrian had saved my life? He’d sacrificed himself for me, the same way my father had before him. Because of Adrian I could breathe, walk, and think—even if at night I wished for none of it. I’d give anything just to have Adrian at my side.
“Thanks, I’d like that very much.” Matt’s eyes lowered to the ground. He seemed as lost as I was, and the jet lag wasn’t helping. And he sounded so much like Adrian. Each time I heard him speak I thought it was Adrian, and it only hurt more when after that split-second reaction I realized it wasn’t.
Dan grasped my hand, saying, “You’re not alone, Mia.”
Yet it felt like I was.
“Thank you.”
Dan still blamed himself for allowing me to leave for the airport. He’d apologized over and over again. But it wasn’t his fault. How could he have known it was Adrian whom I was dating, not Chris, the friend who had sold this beautiful farm to Adrian?
I strolled to the front porch and sat on the swing. The boys were supposed to gather a few of Adrian’s things before we went back to the city. Christa and Jonathan packed Rocky’s supplies and were now playing with him in the front yard. The inside of my chest tightened. The pressure under my eyes gave in and I broke down.
Curling my knees underneath me, I lay down on the swing. When Matt joined me, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head the way Adrian always had. God, Matt even smelled like him.
“You love my father?”
“Yes,” I sobbed. “With all my heart.”
“Then there’s not a broken bone, punctured lung, or severed kidney that will keep him away from you. He’s told me how much he loves you too. He’ll pull through this, you know.”
“The doctors said…”
“Fuck the doctors. He’ll pull through this and come out stronger than before.”
“He’s the Hulk, Mom.” Jonathan sat on my other side. I wasn’t even sure when he’d come up to the porch.
“What do you say we go to the hospital, Mia? I’ll drop you guys off there and take the kids and Rocky home.” Dan leaned against the porch. Up until now, no one except immediate family had been allowed to be near Adrian. He was still in critical condition, and they gave him a five percent chance of survival. Having Matt here meant I’d be able to see him, for at least a moment.
“I’d like that very much.”
*
It had been five days since the accident. The doctors had kept Adrian in an induced coma to let his body heal. His vitals had picked up within the first hour since Matt and I had been allowed to sit with Adrian in the intensive care unit. Once he was transferred to a private room, the nurses brought in a rollaway bed, and I took turns with Matt staying at his father’s side.
On that fifth day after I dropped the kids off at school, I joined Matt at the hospital for our daily switch. Matt had been sleeping there during the night and then going back to my house to study, and I’d been taking over the watch during the daytime. Matt had been able to keep up his studies through online assignments and readings, but he only had another week left before he had to go back to Vienna. He’d been able to take his assignments with him and catch up on his studies online.
This kid was an Einstein in the making.
Dan or my mom always drove Christa and Jonathan to visit Adrian after school. Since Adrian had a cast on his left arm, the kids took it upon themselves to decorate it. Half of it had rainbows, butterflies, and flowers, the other half cool designs in all shades of green—“because he’s Hulk,” Jonathan explained.
Now I
sat with Matt by his father’s bedside. I held Adrian’s cold hand, stroking it gently.
“Are you going to marry him?” Matt asked.
“What?” Where had that question come from? The idea of marriage had been the one issue that had kept me guarded from Adrian.
“You’re the one he’s been waiting for. That’s why he came here.”
“Matt, he’s only been here a few weeks.”
“Does it matter?”
No.
I lowered my head, for the first time admitting the truth about my fear. “I… I don’t want to fail him.”
“Isn’t he worth taking a chance on?”
I opened my mouth, wanting to speak those adult words of wisdom about not rushing into things, but I’d be lying. At the moment when I thought we’d finally found each other and had our future ahead to spend together, I’d almost lost him. So of course it didn’t matter. I was so madly in love with Adrian, I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
“Ms. Claring…”
“Mia.”
“Mia, all I know is that this is the first time I’ve been away from Emily, and it’s tearing me apart.”
Matt had spoken to his girlfriend via Skype every day. They reminded me so much of Adrian and me when we were young.
“The moment I go back to Vienna, I’m going to put a ring on her finger and never let her go. I’ll ask for his blessing as soon as he wakes up.”
“And give him a heart attack?” I chuckled. “You’re so young, Matt.”
“No.” Matt laughed. “My father’s biggest regret was always losing his first love. He’ll understand. I’m not going to make the same mistake he did, because life is too short and after seeing him go through life thinking about you, he’s taught me the biggest lesson he could. You find your soul mate only once, and if you let her go, you’ll never be happy. I don’t want to wait for a second chance. I’m going to grasp the first one I get.” Matt paused looking at his father. “He’s happy with you. Happiest I’ve ever known him.”
“I’m happy with him too, Matt.”
“If you love each other the way I think you do, not a damn thing in the world should stand between you two any longer.”
“I wish I’d had your smarts when I was your age,” I said. “But yes, if your father asked me to, I would marry him without hesitation, even tomorrow.”
With that I felt a slight squeeze on my hand. Adrian’s eyes moved slightly.
My heart jumped up in response as I gasped.
“I’m going to hold you to that,” Adrian said through his dry throat.
“Hi, don’t talk.” I pressed the red button for the nurse who’d instructed us to get her the moment he woke up. The doctors reduced the medication that kept him in an induced coma so he could heal, this morning They’d said he could wake up any time.
“What happened?” he asked. “Matt?”
“Hi Dad. You’re in good hands, but you gave us a scare.”
I squeezed his hand tighter. “Just rest, Adrian. You were in a car accident and need to rest.”
“Tell me everything.” The hoarse sound coming out of his throat made mine ache.
But of course we were interrupted by the nurse, who paged Adrian’s doctor, and we had to leave the room for a few minutes.
After a quick exam by his doctor, I sat back down by Adrian’s side and wearily went over the details of that day, told him that Blair had everything under control at his company, Rocky was Christa’s and Jonathan’s new best friend, and Matt had jumped on the first flight to get here when I called him about the accident.
Adrian was listening with intent, nodding from time to time, when someone knocked on the door.
“Can I come in?” Dan asked, peeking in.
“Yeah, he’s awake.” I looked from Adrian to Dan and smiled, finally able to do what I should have done weeks ago. “Dan this is Adrian. Adrian, Dan.”
My ex-husband reached forward to shake Adrian’s hand, saying, “It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Likewise,” Adrian replied.
Dan handed me and Matt a cup of coffee he’d brought with him.
“Would have gotten you one too if I knew you were up,” he said nervously.
“I think it will be a while before he can have coffee, Dan.”
The nurse came in for a routine check of Adrian’s vitals. As she took his pulse, she’d said, “I don’t know how you’re healing so well, Adrian, and the doctor will need to confirm this, but if you keep progressing at this rate, you’ll be able to go home in a few days.”
“I’ve lost everything once in my life. I’m not going to let that happen again,” Adrian replied, looking directly at me.
“You’ll need a nurse to visit you every day for a while,” she added.
Dan smirked from the side, saying, “If I were you, I’d take my time recovering.”
I punched him in his arm.
“Ouch,” he whined. “Not that I don’t deserve it.”
Adrian’s eyes drooped lower. “Sleep,” I said to him. “We’re not going anywhere.”
“T?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you.” His gaze briefly darted to Matt.
“Anytime. That’s what family’s for.”
He drifted off with a smile on his face.
EPILOGUE
“You’re crazy!” I yelled over the constant hum of the helicopter.
“For you.” Adrian kissed me. Christa and Jonathan sat across from us, watching the takeoff from the window, waving to Dan who held Rocky under his arm. Kayla held onto her spring dress as it flapped around, lifted by the jet of wind from the chopper. She and my mother had insisted on preparing a family dinner for everyone and both had been cooking at our house since this morning.
Adrian had hired someone to land in front of our farmhouse, where we now lived, to take the kids on a ride. I’d been against the idea for months, finally giving up when the kids pleaded on their knees.
Over Christmas, Adrian had asked me to move in with him. I’d been nervous at first, thinking about whether Christa and Jonathan would prefer to stay in the house we’d always lived in. But once Dan mentioned he’d love to buy ours back to live in with Kayla, it meant the kids would still have their home when they visited their father. And after a few months driving back and forth between the farm and the city and seeing their smiling faces at Adrian’s, the idea of having them grow up in the country was more appealing. Once I mentioned it, they wouldn’t let it go until I gave in.
“Hulk, this is awesome!”
“Just wait until you see the city.” Adrian winked to Jonathan, who winked back.
“I still don’t understand what’s so great about the city,” I mumbled. I would have loved nothing more than to fly over the countryside, but Adrian had promised the kids to sightsee for at least a couple of hours.
We turned right and Adrian leaned right into me, his arm around me, his warm breath brushing the side of my cheek.
“Relax, T. Jason’s a good pilot.”
“I’ll be the judge of that after we land.”
Right after driving, flying was next on my list of things I hated doing. But seeing those smiles on my kids’ faces was totally worth it—even if I’d rather be swimming with sharks at this moment. Okay, perhaps not.
After thirty minutes the tension in my shoulders eased as spring colors livened up the horizon. Ahead in the distance, the shades of fresh greens overpowered the fields until I saw an odd patch of white.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“That’s where we’re heading.”
“Not the city?”
“No, slight change of plans.”
I turned to look at him just as Adrian winked to Christa and Jonathan, who were both now staring at us instead of the scenery.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Look outside.” Adrian’s grip eased as he turned my body toward the window. By this time we’d already reached the white patch that had
captivated me earlier. The helicopter lowered. Below was a field of green grass with a pattern of white daisy blooms that spelled out, T, WILL YOU MARRY HULK? C. & J.
I gasped, covering my mouth. When I turned to face Adrian, he was down on one knee holding a diamond ring between his fingers. My children grinned, waiting for my answer.
“I would be honored if you were my first and my last wife. Will you marry me, T?”
“When did you arrange all this? I mean, they’re in full bloom and so beautiful.”
“That day I woke up at the hospital,” he answered. “When you said you’d marry me tomorrow. The kids helped me plant them.”
“And they’ve kept it a secret this long?” I asked eyeing both Jonathan and Christa.
“They’re wonderful kids. So? Will you make me the luckiest man alive?”
Tears streamed down my face as I nodded. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
“Yay! Can I be your flower girl?” Christa asked.
“And Rocky can carry your rings,” Jonathan said.
“I thought it was the best man’s job?” Adrian looked toward my son. “You don’t want to do it?”
“Seriously?” My son’s eyes widened.
“If you don’t mind sharing the spotlight with Matt.”
“Cool,” Jonathan replied.
“Hold on, guys. There’s one condition under which I’ll do this.”
They all froze, looking at me.
“I’d like to have the ceremony at the farm, in the middle of the field.”
“You can ask to have it on the slopes of exploding volcanoes or on the moon, and I’ll do my best to make that wish come true.”
His green eyes sparkled with love and adoration, and at that moment I was certain that the man who’d first stolen my heart would also be the last.
