The Quest (Sanshlian Series Book 1)

by Dani Hoots

  David saw me enter. “What happened down there?” his eyes were beginning to turn red. He knew she was gone but he needed to know how and why.

  “We were spotted and men came after us. They shot a round and I thought we were all fine. Next thing I knew, Amanda collapsed before me. I grabbed Rik before he could do anything stupid and we ran on board,” I replayed to them what happened.

  “You just left her there?!” Will began as he straightened up.

  “Will!” David tried to stop him from lunging at me but Will shrugged him off. Before he could punch me, I blocked his fist.

  “You are heartless!” Will yelled out as I held his fist in my hand.

  “I left her there because I needed to get Rik and the rest of you out of here. If we stopped, they would have caught up to us. I did what I needed to do, unlike what you would have done. Did you all want to die?” I said sharply.

  “What if she wasn’t dead? You left her there!” Will yelled out.

  I took a deep breath. “I have seen many people fall before me. Believe me; she was dead before she hit the ground.”

  “You bitch!” Will punched me in the jaw. I let him, hoping this would be enough to vent his anger. It wasn’t. He pulled back for another punch. I grabbed his fist and brought his arm around his back.

  “Will! Arcadia! Stop this!” David exclaimed, not wanting another fight to break out. Will wouldn’t have the chance to continue the fight; I already had him in a locked position.

  “I let you get in a punch, now stop this childish behavior. There was nothing we could do. Best thing right now is to decide what we are going to do next. Rik,” I peered down at him, he was still a mess, “are you still with us?”

  “What do you care?” his voice was still shaky.

  “I’m trying to help you find this, I need to know what you want to do next,” I stated slowly as I still had Will in my grasp.

  Rik stood up and started for his quarters. David tried to help him as he was still unstable but Rik just pushed him away.

  As he stumbled by me, I whispered. “I warned you.”

  He stopped at my remark for a moment, knowing I was right. I had warned him that something like this could happen. I hated always being right. I let go of Will after Rik left our sight.

  “Now, I think the best thing to do is keep going. We don’t know if the Imperials are following us or not. David, we should start looking over the book,” I began as Will shook his head in anger.

  “Are you really that cold? One of our crew just died and you think you can just boss us around?” Will exclaimed.

  “We need to get back on our feet as fast as possible, otherwise we will get behind. The more we get behind, the more likely we will lose our chance of finding this.”

  “You are heartless.” Will walked towards his quarters.

  I turned to David. “Well? Of all the people here, I think you understand the importance of us needing to keep going. Am I right?”

  His eyes were still red but I knew he agreed with me, we needed to find it as soon as possible.

  David nodded. “I agree with you, it’s just a lot to take in at once.”

  “I’m glad one of you can think ahead,” I whispered to myself. They didn’t understand the importance of never slowing down on a mission as pressing as this. You couldn’t look back, you couldn’t become attached.

  David didn’t seem to notice my remark. “Go ahead and start translating, I need a few minutes to myself. Is that okay?” He was about to break down and I could tell.

  “Fine, go ahead,” I motioned to the corridor. He nodded and left me.

  I grabbed the book I had thrown on the ground earlier in our hurry to get off Ttkas. I flipped through the pages, satisfied that at least we had found it. It could have been worse, it could always have been worse.

  I ventured towards the lounge where the other three books already waited. Setting the book on the table, I realized this was the best time to get the truth. Jack had been lying to me this entire time. I needed to know what he knew, while everyone else was in their quarters and preoccupied and couldn’t overhear.

  I headed towards the bridge where Jack waited. He knew I would be coming sooner or later. He probably hoped later than sooner. I entered and closed the door to the bridge behind me.

  “Cadi, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be working on translating that book of yours?” Jack questioned as he saw me lock the bridge door.

  “It can wait a few minutes. Besides, we need to talk,” I sternly said. He studied me closely.

  Turning back to the controls. “What do you mean? Talk about what?”

  “You know exactly what I mean. What did you have to do with what happened down there?”

  He stood up and started to reach for me. “Cadi, what are you talking about? I don’t understand.”

  I punched him. “You know exactly what I’m talking about! You told them we were coming!”

  Jack rubbed his jaw. “Shh, calm down.”

  “You told them we were coming didn’t you?” I questioned, never letting my eyes leave him.

  He tried to give me one of his honest smiles. “Why are you saying these things? Just sit and calm down.”

  “No, Jack, don’t act like you don’t know anything. For once on this mission tell me the truth. What did you do?”

  Jack stared at me for a moment longer, then sat down and ran his fingers through his hair. “There ain’t nothing that gets past you, now does it? Nah, you are too smart. Too smart to not see it. Should’ve known,” he mumbled.

  “Should’ve known what?” I asked again.

  He looked up at me. “Should’ve known you would have figured out that I’m reporting to the Emperor everything you’re doing. Whereabouts and the like.”

  “Why would you betray me?” Jack was the last person I thought would ever betray me and it hurt more than I ever thought it could.

  “I didn’t! I saved you! They would have killed you if I didn’t tell them where you were headed to,” he tried to explain.

  “They captured me, would have tortured me if I didn’t talk my way out of it. Probably will torture me after all of this is over. They killed Amanda just to make a point. If you think saving me from them is possible, you aren’t as smart as I thought you were,” I argued.

  “I know, I know,” he rubbed his temples. “It wasn’t supposed to happen that way. I made a deal with Neil that I would report your whereabouts and what you were doing if he promised when all of this was over he wouldn’t kill you.” He could tell I wasn’t happy about any of this. “I did this for you.”

  “When all of this is over? It will never be over. You know as well as I, he will do whatever he likes. You just postponed the inevitable.”

  Jack shook his head. “You don’t know that.”

  “Oh, but I do. He has everything planned out in his mind. In fact, he even knew about Sanshli. How does he know about Sanshli? I presume he told you since you mentioned me telling you and I know I never did.” Jack didn’t know Neil like I did; he didn’t understand how manipulative he truly was. Everything was like a game to him; he didn’t care what got in his way, and he always won.

  “He told me, yes. I don’t know how but he already knew. He already knew all about Sanshli, before I even told him where you were going.”

  “But how did he even know I was going to dispose of the tracking device there? I hadn’t gone rogue until I walked out of that office,” I began.

  Jack shrugged. “All I know is that he contacted me right after you left my facility, he knew you had just been there. He said to follow you and report to him what you were doing. Then he said you were looking for Sanshli and to report anything I could find on that also. I agreed on one condition, that he let you live. Said he didn’t need a traitor like you working for him no more. I said I would take you. He finally agreed to it, as long as he found what you were looking for.”

  “And you believed him? Jack, I didn’t think you were such a fool.�
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  “It was my only chance!” he exclaimed. “My only chance to keep you safe! I didn’t know what would happen to you. Just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

  “I can take care of myself.”

  “No, you can’t!” Jack protested. “You think you can but you really can’t. Maybe you can take care of yourself from the rest of the galaxy but not from him. He knows every move you make. He was ready to kill you, too. I’m pretty sure Damian was sent by him to kill you. He told me I better act quickly on Recar. Then I found you with Damian.”

  “If he was truly going to kill me he already would have. He is just manipulating you into this to get me to keep going. He needs me still, to find it I presume.”

  “You seem pretty sure of yourself,” he retaliated.

  “Always am. That’s why I’m in the position that I am today.”

  “And why you always get in the trouble that you are always in,” Jack added. I smiled, but kept thinking of the Emperor.

  “Why would he want to find it? To destroy it? Or...” I stopped, realizing what all of this could mean. “Or if he finds it, he can let Nygard free. We never thought about what would happen if the person who pulled out the sword wanted to bring Nygard back, not destroy him. But I still don’t understand why he would want to do that. He is the Emperor, bringing Nygard back would change that.”

  “I don’t know, maybe there is something else about all of this you don’t understand. Something that he knows.”

  “But why did he never trust me enough to tell me? I am his shadow after all.”

  “Am or was?”

  “Am,” I stated without thought. I may be rogue at the moment but I still served him and always would, at least that’s what I told myself.

  “How can you still be so loyal to him after all of this? He tried to kill you,” I ignored his comment. “Look, figure out what you are going to do but remember he is keeping a close eye on this ship.”

  “I know,” I pulled out the tracking device Neil gave me. “I guess this is a backup if you changed your mind then,” I threw it to him. He just stared down at it in his lap, obviously distraught with me knowing how he had betrayed me. He should have known I would find out sooner or later. He should have come clean on Recar.

  “I’m sorry,” Jack whispered. It was the first time I heard someone apologize in a very long time, or at least apologize and truly mean it.

  “What’s done is done. Can’t change that. I should know,” I thought back on all the things I had done. I knew I couldn’t stay mad at Jack for a mistake like this, but it did hurt that he broke my trust. I wanted not to care but something inside ate at me.

  “So then, what are you going to do?” he questioned.

  “The only thing we can do now is get to Sanshli.”

  “Are you crazy? The moment we land Neil and his men will overtake us and get the sword themselves.”

  “I know,” I answered.

  “Then what? Stop them?”

  “I’m not going to do anything.”

  “What?”

  “I didn’t betray Neil to help the P.A.E.; I did it to simply find Sanshli. He can do whatever he wants when he’s there. I don’t really care. If I knew he wanted it this bad, things could have worked out differently. I wouldn’t have had to sneak around,” I pondered.

  “Then why do you want to find Sanshli?”

  “You know why I want to, so the dreams will stop and I will be free of that nightmare.”

  “Ah, the nightmares,” he leaned back in his chair. “I always thought those had to do with the Kamps.”

  I shook my head. “No, I wish they were. Wouldn’t be as bad.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? We could have left the rest and gone by ourselves.”

  “I didn’t want you involved, remember? Besides, I didn’t think you would stoop so low as to betray me.”

  “I did it for you.”

  “No, you did it for yourself,” I turned towards the door and started to unlock it.

  “I would like to think you would do the same for me,” Jack began as he watched me, “but something tells me you wouldn’t. Besides, I don’t think you’re doing this for yourself as you claim. And just to put it out there, you would never leave the Emperor for me.”

  I hesitated, thinking about what he had meant by that, and then left him sitting there. He was right; I would never do the same for him. At least, I didn’t think I would. I really didn’t know at this point. I was mad at him. He tried to save me but I was still mad. I didn’t know why. Something in me loved him for it but another part of me hated it. I wasn’t used to being helped, that must have been it. I wanted to think I could solve all my problems by myself, maybe now I knew I couldn’t. Or maybe I was just frustrated for not knowing why the Emperor wanted me to find it. Either way, he didn’t realize why I didn’t want him involved, it was the same reason I warned Rik. You could lose someone on missions like these.

  Making my way down the corridors, I came upon Rik’s quarters. I debated if I should say anything to him, try to make him feel a little better or something. I wanted to do what I thought a sister would do, even though I doubted he ever considered me as one or at least not since we were children. He only called me Cadi when he needed something, not like he used to.

  Funny how life played out like that. One moment you are best friends, listening to Father’s stories and next you are enemies on separate sides of a war, yet stuck together to find some sort of legend. Maybe it was only funny in some sick twisted way, which was usually the way I liked it.

  I knocked on the door to Rik’s quarters. “Rik, are you okay? Do you need anything?”

  “Leave me alone,” I heard his voice on the other side of the door.

  “Rik, I just want to help...”

  “No,” he interrupted. “You don’t. You don’t know pain. You don’t know what it means to give someone your whole heart and then watch them die. You can’t help me.”

  I thought about saying something but didn’t and decided to just walk away. He was wrong. I watched our father die before my eyes; it was why I never let myself care for another human being. Why I never let anyone in. I glanced back at the bridge, just now realizing this. I only caused others pain. They were all better without me. I knew what I needed to do, to help everyone in this mess of mine.

  As I went back to the lounge to start translating the book, I noticed David was already there, sitting at the table. I entered quietly and sat down beside him. He held a small pocket tablet. Tears were dripping onto the table slowly. I sat there silently. I finally reached for his hand and stroked it gently with my thumb, guessing that was the thing to do in a situation like this. I really didn’t know.

  “She meant a lot to you, didn’t she?” I finally spoke.

  “She gave me this tablet. Told me to keep all of my brilliant ideas in it. That way I would never lose them,” he choked on his tears.

  I looked at the tablet. It was small and very worn. He must have had it for a while. I thought back about the first time David and I met. I remembered seeing it every once in a while, as he would jot things down. Then I remembered something else about when we first met.

  “When I first saw her,” I tried to choose my words carefully. “I asked you if she was an affair. I was right, wasn’t I?”

  He didn’t say anything, which answered my question. There had been something between them. I wondered if Rik or Will knew, or even suspected. They were blind if they didn’t see the way he always looked at her.

  David set the tablet on the table and looked down at his hands. “It was when Rik was on a mission before they were married.”

  I watched as he stumbled on his words. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to talk about it.”

  He shook his head. “No, I need to tell someone. I need to say it out loud. I’ve been keeping it to myself way too long. Besides, you are the only one I can tell. I don’t need Will mad at me for this. Rik would be furious if
he knew.”

  David took a deep breath before starting his story. “We got news that a mission of Rik’s didn’t go well. Many of the men died and we hadn’t heard from Rik for weeks. We feared the worst. Amanda, Will, and I were at my section of the compound on Valle. Will retired early and Amanda and I were alone. It was late, we had a few drinks and...” he trailed off. “A few days later we finally heard from Rik. Amanda and I never told anyone about it. She said it was a mistake, it should have never happened and that she loves Rik. I always hoped that maybe... one day, you know. But then they got married. And I just stood by and watched. Never told her how I actually felt,” he looked up at me and slightly smiled with eyes still full of tears. “It doesn’t matter now, does it? None of this matters.”

  “Don’t say that, don’t ever say that,” I tried to get him out of this hole he dug himself into.

  David was the last person I needed doubting any of this. He was my last link to the crew, although I wondered if I really needed any of them. Why had I kept with them? Why didn’t I just go on my own? Something kept me with them and I wasn’t sure why, or at least didn’t let myself admit why.

  “We will find this planet, we will change the past, and we will avenge her death, okay?” David remained silent. “Okay?” I questioned again.

  He slowly nodded. “I suppose there is the possibility that if we change the past, she would never had died.”

  “That is always a possibility, yes.”

  Then the thought struck me. Father wouldn’t have died either. If we changed the past, maybe I could see him again. And maybe that was why Neil needed him, to bring someone back.

  “Then maybe you wouldn’t turn out to be a heartless bitch like you are now and we could actually be friends,” David grinned.

  I gave him a quick look. “That was uncalled for, but true. Maybe things will turn out to be better, I mean at least for our lives.”

  “Maybe you could be with Jack without having to hide it,” he said what I would never admit to. “Unless you don’t want to be with him...”

  “I never said that. I just,” I paused, thinking about Jack. I didn’t know what I wanted right then. “I just don’t know.”