Cupcake

by Mariah Jones

  Nancy was the first customer of the morning, following me through the door before I could even think of locking it to keep her out. Her outfit, as usual, was atrocious. On that morning she had chosen her customary high heels, this time in fuchsia with daisy duke shorts over fishnet pantyhose and a zebra print top low cut enough to show off the lace bra she wore underneath. For shame, I thought as I did a quick survey of her attire. She completed the streetwalker effect with oversized hoop earrings and a necklace that looked as if it had been crafted out of a manhole cover. Not even if I was tiny like her, my mind said.

  “Good morning ladies,” Nancy said in her bubbly voice. I could feel a shudder of disgust about my shoulders and I tried to shrug the feeling off, although I was unsuccessful.

  “What’s new Nancy?” Katie asked, doing her best to pretend she was truly interested.

  Nancy looked flustered, as if she desperately wanted to reveal some great bit of juicy gossip but couldn’t decide where to begin. “I was just over talking to that Greek God of a man next door,” she began.

  I could feel my face reddening, this time not in embarrassment but rather anger. I took a deep breath and flipped through the new orders that had yet to be filled.

  “Oh he’s such a doll. He isn’t married you know?” she oozed.

  Katie and I exchanged glances. “No, we had no idea,” Katie said.

  Nancy fanned herself with a twenty dollar bill as she waited for Katie to fill her order. “I spent fifteen minutes talking to him this morning and I think he’s interested.”

  My sister looked slightly nauseous. “Interested in what?”

  Nancy rolled her overly-made-up eyes. “In me of course, you’re so silly. He showed me around the art gallery this morning and spent more time looking at the girls than at the artwork,” she gushed, gesturing at her breasts. “I just know he’s going to ask me out.”

  Katie’s hands were firmly planted on her hips and I had to intervene before the situation got ugly. “Thanks for coming in today Nancy. I hope you have a great day. We have a meeting we have to get to, right Katie?” I said.

  I gave Katie a stern look and she reluctantly agreed to go along with me. “Meeting, right,” she mumbled.

  Nancy paid her bill and looked at me for a moment as if considering something. “You know Darcy,” she began. “If you lost a few pounds and did a little work to yourself I bet you could snag a man like him too.”

  “Wouldn’t that be a wonder,” I said, feeling a vein in my forehead throbbing in time with my heartbeat.

  When the door closed behind Nancy, Katie turned to face me. She looked more pissed off than I did. “The nerve of that little slut, she’s unbelievable! Maybe if she lost a little boob and I rearranged her face she wouldn’t be such a pretentious bitch!” Katie said.

  Jenny looked as though she were trying to shrink into the corner of the room. “Like he would ever ask her to do anything!” Katie continued to rant.

  “You know how Nancy is,” I said, trying to calm her. “She’d hump a broomstick if it had a wallet.”

  Katie looked over my shoulder, trying to regain her composure and finding it difficult. “I truly despise that woman.”

  “She helps keep the bakery going right?” I asked.

  “A million dollars a year wouldn’t be enough,” Katie said through clenched teeth.

  As the morning drug on I couldn’t help but think about what Nancy had said. Thorne had shown her around the gallery as well. Maybe I wasn’t as special as I had originally thought. What if he really was interested in her? What if he was going to cancel our date because he found someone who caught his interest more than I did? I didn’t like the idea of losing a chance with Thorne to anyone, but the thought of losing him to Nancy literally made my stomach turn.

  “I know what you’re thinking and it isn’t worth worrying about,” Katie said, laying her hand on top of mine. “That woman thinks every man on the planet is into her. He asked you out because he likes you, remember that. Besides, getting yourself all worked up over nothing isn’t going to improve your nerves tonight.”

  I stared at my sister for a moment, considering how lucky she was to be so thin and beautiful and have so much confidence. I wondered if there had ever been a situation in her life where she got that creepy feeling on her skin and worried others were judging her. “I can’t help it,” I said honestly. “I was amazed he asked me out in the first place, now I wonder if he did it because he felt sorry for me. Maybe a woman like Nancy is the kind of woman guys really want.”

  Katie has always been blunt. “You sound like an idiot.”

  “Thank you for the vote of confidence,” I replied.

  “He didn’t owe you anything. It wasn’t him that ran over you remember? Why would he ask you out on a date because he felt guilty?” she pointed out.

  I shrugged. “I just got nervous when Nancy said he was showing her around the gallery. Maybe that’s his hook.”

  Katie laughed. “I’m sorry for laughing but this is so typical of you. Why do you have to find fault with every good thing that happens to you? Honestly, just this once, don’t let you stand in the way of your own happiness.”

  I heard the front door bells jingle and was grateful for the momentary reprieve. Looking up, I panicked a little as I realized it was Thorne standing before me.

  “Hey. Are we still on for tonight?” he asked, looking more handsome than ever. I could smell his delightful scent before I even got close to him. It was like leather and spices and incredible things from exotic places.

  I suddenly realized I hadn’t answered him. “Yes. I mean, yes of course we are still on for tonight,” I stammered.

  “Great,” he agreed. “You took so long to answer I was getting a bit worried you might have changed your mind.”

  I sighed. “It has really been one of those days. I have this one customer who…I don’t know. I don’t want to sound insulting, but she’s a challenge.” I told him.

  “Actually I believe I know the feeling. I seem to have already attracted one of those to the gallery even though I haven’t officially opened yet. I can’t recall her name now. She has been hanging around ever since last week,” he said, with a quizzical crooked smile adorning his handsome face.

  I thought for a moment, “You wouldn’t be referring to a woman named Nancy would you?” I asked.

  “Yeah, that’s it. You know her then huh?” he said, shaking his head at the thought of her.

  “Yeah, she’s my challenging customer,” I said with a mixture of amusement and relief.

  “I guess this probably isn’t polite to say, but I have seen hookers with more class,” Thorne joked.

  I broke out into a huge grin. “Katie and I have always wondered if Nancy has a…how do I put this eloquently? We have often thought she may have a business on the side,” I said quietly.

  Thorne nodded his head in agreement. “It would make sense. She has to be doing something to afford those outfits.”

  I knew I was staring at him without speaking again, but I couldn’t help it. The way the sunlight was streaming through the window was casting shadows upon the side of his face and making him look ever more mysterious and incredible. I realized then that he seemed to be studying me as well. I began to panic, wondering which of my multiple imperfections he was focusing on.

  “I am really looking forward to tonight,” he said.

  “Me too,” I managed to squeak out.

  “See you later,” he said on his way out the door.

  I let out a huge sigh when the door bumped closed behind him. “What in the world is the matter with you?” I asked myself.

  “You’re falling in love,” Katie answered for me.

  “Impossible!” I scolded her.

  “We’ll see,” she replied, unimpressed with my denial.

  Chapter Eleven

  Remembering to breathe

  Thankfully, after the Nancy incident, the day was mostly uneventful. Sales were good and people were
friendly. My sister and Jenny let me keep my worries about the upcoming date to myself, only occasionally dropping a “you’ll be fine,” or “You’re going to have a great time,” my way rather than forcing me into a full-on discussion about my fears.

  We managed to complete several wedding cakes and took a few orders for new projects to be completed later in the week. Katie and I were both beginning to wonder if we might not have to hire some further help if things kept up at the pace they were going.

  The problem wasn’t so much who to hire or whether to find someone in the first place. It was space. We were running out of space for people to work. Already there weren’t enough counters, there wasn’t enough storage room and there was really no place to take a break except in the cramped office. I had toyed with the idea of moving into a bigger retail space before, but never really put any serious thought into it. Suddenly it seemed like a terrible idea. If I moved to another space, Thorne would no longer be my neighbor. What if another woman moved in here and they struck up a friendship and then…what if Nancy moved in and ran her…business…”We’re doing good this week,” I announced to Katie and Jenny. “I know the three of us can handle anything this bakery throws at us.”

  “Was that an inspirational speech?” I heard my sister ask Jenny as I was on my way back to the office.

  I smirked. Once again, I thought. What is the matter with me?

  ***

  After work Katie dragged me to a clothing boutique down the street. I tried to resist, but she insisted and since she was right, I had no plans on what I would possibly wear to a beach date, I reluctantly agreed. I felt nervous as we entered the store. The salesperson was of course, not overweight in the slightest. That always upset me. If I ever ran a plus sized store I would make sure everyone I hired was fat. No heavy set person I had ever met wanted to be greeted in a plus sized store by a skinny bitch.

  She looked up as the door buzzer rang and called to us that if we needed anything just to holler, but she didn’t come follow us around, or worse yet, offer suggestions. I despised sales people who couldn’t take a hint when you wanted to shop for yourself.

  The boutique was not the kind of place I would have wandered into by myself. The clothing looked expensive and not at all what I would usually consider casual. It was the kind of apparel I would normally avoid at all costs because of my job at the bakery. As I proved with the food coloring mishap, you never know what might happen at a pastry shop.

  My sister began buzzing about like an overzealous bee grabbing things off racks and humming to herself as if she had never had a better time. She reminded me of a fairy godmother in a Disney film. Great, I thought. I’m going to show up to my date looking like fat Cinderella.

  As Katie continued her rampage through the racks, I perused a few items myself. A hundred and twenty-five dollars for a pair of jeans, I noticed. I don’t think all the jeans I owned put together cost a hundred and twenty-five dollars. I realize that it takes more material to dress a plus sized body but come on! Katie gave me the evil eye as she saw me flipping over price tags and shaking my head in disbelief.

  “The shop is doing great. You can afford it,” she tried to reason with me.

  “It isn’t about whether I can afford it or not,” I scolded. “Who pays a hundred and twenty-five bucks for a pair of jeans?”

  Katie smiled at me innocently. “People who have a date with Thorne Birch and want to feel good in their own skin do.”

  I absolutely hate it when I have no good comeback.

  As I waited for my sister to finish her assault on the unsuspecting clothing store, I looked at some handbags that cost as much as my monthly grocery budget and shoes that I couldn’t understand how one might even get their feet in. I was trying to imagine walking in some of these contraptions when my sister tugged at my sleeve and told me it was time to head to the dressing room.

  The first outfit Katie selected for me was an off the shoulder sweater-thing and a pair of black slacks that came to my mid-calf. I had never worn capris before because I hated my legs. Now I saw why. I had never seen anything so white in all my life. The contrast between the black pants and my pale skin was shocking. As for the shirt, it was a beautiful color of coral that made me look exceptional. Exceptionally huge that is. I thought it might have been a good choice to wear on a first date with the Kool-Aid man. Thankfully, when I pulled the curtain to the dressing room aside, Katie cringed as well.

  The next outfit I rejected without even trying on. It was a very pretty floral print dress. Any other time I might have loved it, but with the string of bad luck I had been having for the last few months, there was no way I was going to risk the type of mishaps that can randomly occur while wearing a dress.

  The final outfit Katie had chosen was a cashmere cardigan with a silk camisole underneath, in a beige color. That combined with one of the expensive pairs of jeans actually made for a decent outfit. I turned this way and that in the mirror, searching for something I hated about it, but could find nothing. Perhaps I hadn’t given my sister enough credit. I did feel a little more confident knowing each one of my butt cheeks was currently worth sixty-two-fifty.

  When I stepped out of the dressing room Katie nodded in agreement. “You look beautiful. I’ll bet he will be blown away.”

  I glanced down at my watch. “Not if we don’t hurry up and get me home.”

  I could feel my stomach twisting and churning on the way home. I played with the drawstrings on the clothing bag in my lap. Katie smiled at me warmly. “I don’t think I have ever seen you like this.”

  “I know. I don’t remember ever feeling like this. Is this what it was like when you and Jacob first started dating?” I asked.

  Katie shrugged. “I wish I had some romantic tale to tell about how he swept me off my feet. The truth of the matter is; I couldn’t stand him when we first met. I thought he was a complete ass. He seemed full of himself and loud and obnoxious and I thought he was a total moron.”

  I listened as she described her first encounter with the man she later married. “So what changed?” I asked.

  Katie smiled recalling a fond memory. “After the party I went to leave and realized I had a flat tire. He was the only one who bothered to stop and ask if he could help. When we got to chatting, I figured out that he was really smart and I kind of started to like him. He asked me out that night, and well, here we are.”

  As we pulled up in front of my house, I leaned over and hugged my sister. “Wish me luck,” I said.

  “You won’t need it,” she replied, but I wondered.

  ***

  When the door closed behind me and I was alone, I could feel my nerves kicking in. I swung the bag of new clothes back and forth, wondering how much I would hate them when I saw them in my own mirror. That seemed to be common. I would buy something at the store that I loved, but when I got it home it seemed totally different.

  I chewed myself out for wasting time obsessing over imperfections when I didn’t have very long to get ready for my date. I suddenly wished I had allowed my sister to follow me inside and help me with my hair and makeup. I glanced in the hall mirror and frowned. My hair looked flat and boring and my skin was shiny. I produce more oil than a canola plant.

  I scrubbed my face while mentally evaluating what look I was trying to go for with my hair and makeup. I didn’t want to underdress and have him feel like I didn’t put any thought into my appearance. I also didn’t want to wear too much makeup and appear as if I was a prostitute or worse yet, a Nancy wannabe. The last thing I wanted on top of my nerves and tendency to do embarrassing things in public was to look altogether desperate.

  I lifted my hair up this way and that glancing at myself in the mirror from various angles. I considered how much less time it would take me to get ready if I wasn’t always obsessing over which hairstyle made my face look thinner or how well you could see the fat rolls on the back of my neck if I wore my hair in an updo. If I was thin, I thought, I would probably be ready
to go out for anything in less than ten minutes. As I let my hair drop, I silently wondered how long it took Katie to get ready.

  With my hair piled loosely on top of my head and fastened with a clamshell clip, I focused on my makeup. After dumping out my entire collection of odds and ends on the bathroom counter, I realized how unimpressed I was. Really, I hadn’t bought any new beauty supplies for at least the last year. I suppose I hadn’t considered the idea that I might be going on a date with a man like Thorne any time in the near future, or ever for that matter.

  I picked up a smoky gray kohl eye-liner and a shimmery silver eye shadow and began to transform myself from a nervous, overweight pastry chef to a nervous, overweight pastry chef with makeup on.