Oh, God!
Page 13
A Louis Harris Poll of the general public on whether or not God had appeared produced some believers: 6% Yes, against 43% No and 51% No Opinion. Among the clergy, there were a few holdouts, but they were greatly in the minority. A few anti-establishment breakaway religions popped up as well, but their philosophies were very vague, the most popular a non-denominational group called “The New Truth,” big on communes, whose philosophy translated roughly as “anybody you meet could be God, so love thy neighbor, because you never know.”
As far as public reaction to me personally was concerned, nothing was held against me. People didn’t feel they had been hoaxed—just that I was a complete nut. Meantime, the God controversy, what was left of it, simply shifted away from me. I was finished in the media. I was yesterday’s fruitcake.
Judy began making plans to get a job. I was waiting for my next instructions from Him, but it was now three weeks since the conference ended and He was nowhere to be seen. I took to walking around the city to pass the time. You can’t believe just how many little old messengers look like God when you’re looking for Him.
One day, I called the house from a phone booth on Forty-second Street. The phone rang back and I picked it up.
“Hello, it’s me, God.”
“Hello! Where are you?”
“In the next booth.”
There He was, standing right next to me on the phone, and looking much cheerier than when I saw Him last.
“Too many people around,” He said. “It would be suspicious if somebody recognized you.”
“They’d notice you first,” I said.
He was wearing a safari hat, a bush jacket, jodhpurs and boots, none of which fit Him.
“I’m going on a little trip—to spend some time with animals. I like animals and sometimes I don’t spend enough time.”
“Are you all right? I was worried about you.”
“You think God can’t take care of Himself?”
“I wondered where you were.”
“I don’t have to account. The fact is I was making up my mind.”
“And what should I do next?”
“Nothing.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean there’s nothing to do. I came to say goodbye.”
“Goodbye? Are you going just for now?”
“For now and for later.”
“You’re not coming back?”
“No. That’s what I decided. I did what I came to do. It didn’t work out as good as I wanted. But those who want to believe, so they’ll believe—and the others, so they won’t. I got a few people to think about things, though, that’s pretty good.”
He waved at me through the glass.
“So that’s it. Take care, bubeleh. I’ll be watching.”
“But you can’t go.”
“It’s time already.”
“You can’t—”
“It’s time.”
“But there are things I should be asking you.”
“We did all that.”
“And there must be things you want me to do—”
“No.”
“There must be something.”
“Well, you’re a writer. Why don’t you write about it?”
He was really going.
“It’s too soon,” I said.
“I think we got some pretty good business done.”
“I don’t mean only that. I was just getting to know you. I mean, our relationship was just beginning.”
“These days, relationships are very difficult.”
“Sometimes, now and then, couldn’t we just talk?”
“I’ll tell you what. You talk. I’ll listen.”
Then He threw me a little kiss and He walked away. He was gone. It was over just like that. I never saw Him again.
I’ve thought a lot since then about the whole experience and I thought it would be great if I could sum it up in one profound, magical paragraph that says it all. I couldn’t. I tried to write it so many times, I lost count. The best I can offer on my feelings about Him is this:
I wish we could have gotten closer.
A Biography of Avery Corman
Avery Corman (b. 1935) is an American author best known for novels that inspired hit movies such as Kramer vs. Kramer and Oh, God! Corman has written powerfully of divorce and family, as well as midlife crisis and the experience of living in New York City.
Corman was born on November 28, 1935, in New York City. His parents were working-class residents of the Bronx, and they divorced when Corman was a young child. Corman moved with his mother and sister into the apartment of an aunt and uncle, who were both deaf mutes. Complicated family dynamics and the challenges of communication would come to be prominent themes in Corman’s later work as a writer.
Corman attended DeWitt Clinton High School and then New York University, from which he graduated in 1956. After a short career in magazine publishing, Corman began writing humorous pieces for small magazines. He spent more than ten years cobbling together an income as a freelancer before completing his first novel, Oh, God!, in 1971. The story of a writer who becomes a messenger for God after an interview on Madison Avenue, Oh, God! was made into a hit film starring George Burns in 1977. Next came The Bust-Out King (1977), a caper novel, quickly followed by one of Corman’s best-known works, Kramer vs. Kramer (1977). The novel depicts the toll divorce can take on parents and their children, and helped change the landscape of divorce and custody in America. The courts, and divorcing spouses, began to view divorced men’s participation in their children’s lives more positively. The novel’s film adaptation, starring Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep, was released to overwhelming acclaim, and went on to win five Academy Awards, including Best Picture. A French language stage adaptation of the novel, Kramer vs. Kramer, by Didier Caron and Stéphane Boutet, was produced in Paris in 2010 and subsequently played in other French cities and in Geneva, Switzerland. Corman then wrote his own stage adaptation of the novel, which has been optioned for a Broadway production, and for productions in several foreign countries.
Following Kramer vs. Kramer, Corman continued to explore themes of families in turmoil. The Old Neighborhood (1980) follows the life of a man whose ambivalence about success brings him back to the city streets where he was raised. His fifth novel, 50 (1987), examines a middle-aged man whose life falls apart, leading him to unexpected contentment. The Big Hype (1992) skewers the publishing industry and celebrity culture, while Prized Possessions (1991) deals with the consequences of being a victim of date rape for a young college student and her family. A Perfect Divorce (2004) tells the story of a divorced couple struggling to co-parent their troubled teenage son. Corman’s most recent novel, The Boyfriend from Hell (2006), follows a young, single journalist as she embarks on a new relationship that turns out to be more sinister than she could have imagined.
After achieving success as a novelist, Corman noticed that a cherished basketball court in his old neighborhood had been torn down. He donated funds to build a replacement and this served as a catalyst for the creation of the City Parks Foundation, now a multimillion dollar nonprofit organization that creates and funds parks programs throughout New York City. He has served on its board of directors since the foundation’s inception in 1989.
Corman continues to write novels, plays, and non-fiction.
A young Corman in the 1940s with his mother and sister, Jackie.
Corman’s aunt and uncle, Anne and Moses Cohn, in whose apartment he lived with his mother and sister while growing up in the 1940s.
Corman with his cousin, Selma, in the 1940s.
Corman, age twenty-six, on a snowy day in Central Park. He worked in magazine publishing at the time.
Corman with his son Matthew in 1972. (Photo by Bill Powers.)
The movie poster for Oh, God! The film was released in 1977 and was a hit for the studio and for George Burns, who played God.
The movie poster for Kramer vs. Kramer. The film, which was released in
1979, earned Oscars for both Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep, as well the awards for Best Picture, Best Adapted Screenplay, and Best Director.
Corman with his wife, Judy, and sons, Nicholas and Matthew, in 1983. Corman was never divorced. He and Judy were married for thirty-seven years, until her passing in 2004. (Photo by Jill Krementz.)
Corman, who suggested the City Parks Foundation create a track & field program for New York City children, with some of the 2,000 citywide participants in 2012. (Photo by Alan Roche.)
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook onscreen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
copyright © 1971 by Avery Corman
cover design by Mimi Bark
978-1-4532-7036-3
This edition published in 2012 by Open Road Integrated Media
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