Write Me Home

by Crystal Walton

  The slimeball’s hands drifted down her back. Clutching his glass, Ethan forced himself to lower it slowly. The dude slipped his hands past her belt, and Ethan sprang up.

  Ti swung an arm in front of him. “Easy, tiger. It’s too early to start a bar fight.”

  If she only knew. Not that Cassidy needed him to intervene. She twisted the guy’s wrist in some kind of self-defense move that had him moaning and stalked off the floor to the table.

  “You okay?” Ethan’s voice was about as smooth as the chair still teetering behind him.

  She shrugged. “Fine.”

  Not if her eyes had anything to say about it.

  Ti threw back a swig and glided around the table. “Why don’t you two go out back for some air? Chill by the creek for a while.”

  Cass raised a brow. “Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of being here?”

  “Depends on whose purpose we’re talking about.” Grinning, Ti whisked into the crowd.

  Cassidy curled her hair to one side, looking in about every direction but his. All she had to do was say the word, and he’d get her out of here in a second. Take her anywhere she wanted to go. Except out by the creek. The inside held enough regrettable memories of its own.

  She smiled faintly. “It is kind of loud in here.”

  Resigning, he nodded at the door and led her out.

  Under the porch light, she fiddled with the hem of her shirt. “Sorry. I’m not very good at the letting loose thing.”

  Was she seriously apologizing for that? “No one said you had to be.”

  She scoffed but turned instead of saying anything and moseyed toward the back of the building. Taking a breath, Ethan followed her down the firefly-lit path. At least the stars had held up their role for the night.

  Moonlight covered the creek running downstream over rocks and gullies. They must’ve gotten a lot of rain this spring. He couldn’t remember seeing the current this strong.

  Cass leaned against a tree trunk and closed her eyes. “I forgot how peaceful the Catskills are. Probably sounds funny, but I think that’s one of the things that fascinated me most as a kid. No rumbling from the subway. No yelling matches coming through apartment walls. Just quiet.” She laughed. “Well, other than that twangy country music.”

  With the way she stole his focus, he’d tuned out the bar’s noise completely. Lightning bugs stirred around her, probably drawn to her as much as he was. He shouldn’t have thought twice about coming out here with her. As familiar as it was, she made it new. “Cass, I—”

  The back door swung open. Of all people, Jenni stumbled out with a glass splashing all around. Her moment’s surprise at seeing them transitioned into amusement.

  She staggered forward and latched on to the garbage can for balance. “Look at you, Ethan, sharing like a good boy. And here I thought these woods would always be ours.”

  She slipped off her heels and almost tottered over. “Canoeing, bridge jumping, camping in the same sleeping bag. We had fun, didn’t we?” She stumbled toward them and waved her glass toward the woods. “Don’t worry . . . Cassidy, is it? Ethan knows how to show a girl a good time.”

  “That’s enough, Jenni.”

  Cassidy didn’t move a muscle in response. She didn’t have to. Her eyes said enough. And what could he possibly say in return?

  “Aw, sweetie, I didn’t mean to . . .” Gripping the nearest tree trunk, Jenni hunched over and hurled.

  Perfect. He steadied her by the waist.

  Jenni slid a hand to the back of his hair. “Same old Ethan. Always coming to a girl’s rescue.”

  Jaw clenched, he helped her toward the door. “I think it’s about time you headed home.”

  Cassidy hugged her arms to her chest and stared out toward the creek.

  His heart sank at her guarded pose. No telling how much damage Jenni had just caused.

  “Let me call her a cab. I’ll be right out.”

  Cass turned then, face wiped of any emotion. “You can take her home. I’m gonna walk back.”

  “What?”

  She pushed off the tree. “We’re only a few blocks away. And I didn’t get my run in this morning. It’s fine.”

  “You’re not walking alone in the dark. Just . . .” He sighed. “Give me a sec to get her settled and grab Ti, okay?”

  She nodded, and he swept open the door. A flood of everything from his old life that he’d tried to put behind him rushed out from inside the crowded room again. He should’ve gone with his instincts and stayed home.

  He set Jenni in a chair, pulled out his cell, and made the call.

  She clutched his sleeve and pulled herself up into his arms. “This is right, you know. The two of us. Tell me you don’t still have feelings for me.”

  “We’ve been through this.” He unwound her arms from his neck and lowered them to her sides.

  She looked up with blue eyes that had finally lost their hold over him. “People change.”

  “Exactly.” Smiling sadly, he curved a strand of hair around her ear. He didn’t want to hurt her, but she had to accept they were done.

  “It’s been nine years, Ethan.” She grabbed his hand as he turned. “I thought you would’ve forgiven me by now.”

  His chin drifted to his chest with an exhale. “I have. But forgiveness doesn’t erase consequences.” He knew that better than anyone.

  He released her hand and wedged through the people on the dance floor. A quick backward glance caught Nick approaching Jenni. Where’d he come from? Ethan faced forward. Not his business. He pried Ti away from some hipster-looking dude. “Time to roll.”

  Her gaze veered toward the overhead clock. “Not even close.”

  “Cassidy’s ready to go.”

  “Good job, Columbo.” She patted his back and winked. “Now’s the part where you drive her home by yourself.”

  He jutted his chin. “And what about you?”

  A telling grin peeked over the top of her bottle. “I’ll figure it out.”

  And he was supposed to be okay with that? His shoulders dropped. “Let me see your phone.”

  She handed it over, and he plugged in his cell number. “If I don’t hear from you by midnight, I’m coming back.”

  She saluted. “Yes, sir. Now, hurry up. The girl you really want to protect is waiting.”

  And probably ready to put him in his place after Jenni dredged up his past.

  Turning, he caught another glimpse of Jenni and Nick, arguing from the looks of it. Thank God, his days with that were over.

  At least, he hoped. He steeled himself on his way out the back door again, but Cass was gone. He jogged around to the parking lot. Empty. Pulse picking up, he made a beeline to his Jeep and gunned out. Gravel sputtered under his wheels and tumbled across the road behind him.

  Cass came into view around the bend. He rolled up beside her. “I told you to wait.”

  “The driveway’s right there. I’m fine.”

  He swerved the Jeep in front of her and opened the door. “Get in the car.”

  Huffing, she climbed in.

  He sped up the drive, the potholes nowhere near as volatile as his emotions. “You don’t just go walking the streets at night by yourself.”

  “This isn’t the city.” She folded her arms and stared out the window.

  He barreled into the parking spot. “I don’t care where you are, Cass. You’re not invincible.”

  She glared at him, lips tight. Whatever she held in practically burned through her cheeks. She stormed out of the car and toward the deck.

  He cut her off at the stairs. “Will you stop running already?”

  She grabbed a sweatshirt from the top step and shoved it into his stomach. “Jenni dropped this off earlier.”

  A tendon on his neck hardened. “Jenni and I are ancient history.”

  “History tends to repeat itself.” She turned. “I’m not another of your girlfriends who needs to be saved, all right?”

  He caught her hand. This wasn’t
just about Jenni. “You can give up the tough girl act. I don’t buy it.”

  She snatched her arm away and crossed it over her chest, hair blazing in the wind.

  He didn’t care if he lost his room over this. He was done watching her hide behind a mask. “Who are you trying to be? You care for stray dogs, set ladybugs free, read romance novels. You’re not as hard as you pretend to be, Cass. You’re . . .” Everything he’d seen in her—the strength, compassion, determination—pounded inside him and drew him toward her.

  She backed into the rail. “Don’t look at me like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like you want to kiss me.”

  She had no idea. “Would that be such a bad thing?”

  Head lowered, she looked away. “You might be disappointed.”

  Was that what she was afraid of? He edged closer. The transparency in her voice just about depleted the strength enabling him to wait until she met his eyes again.

  He smoothed his thumb across her warm cheek and cupped the back of her neck. A breath at a time, he leaned in until his lips nearly brushed hers. “Or I might fall for you even more than I already have.”

  Her breath touched his skin and brought his lips to hers. His fingers slipped into her curls. Soft and unassuming, she moved with such gentleness, it drew him in even tighter.

  She glided her palms up his chest to his neck and broke the last barrier holding back his reservation. His kiss deepened until something wet collided with his hand on her cheek. He pulled away.

  Tears streamed down her face.

  He searched her eyes. Did he push too far? “I’m sorry.”

  Without looking at him, she withdrew up the stairs and stopped at the top. Her shoulders rose and fell with the same intensity moving his. He jogged up to her, lost for words. Please tell me I haven’t just ruined everything.

  She turned, slid her fingers behind his ears, and kissed him on her own. She held on, pulse beating against his skin.

  He drew her hands down to his chest as she lowered back to her heels. “Cass . . .”

  “Please don’t say anything,” she whispered before letting go and slipping away. As always.

  He almost went after her into the house but sensed he shouldn’t. He caved against the wall, heart still pounding. And with the tingling of her kiss still on his lips, he faced a sky that had just fallen into second place.

  He hadn’t planned on kissing her tonight. Or at all. Not that he hadn’t wanted to a dozen times, but she’d been so closed off, so determined to keep her walls up. Was it all a defense mechanism because she was afraid to admit how she felt? But the way she kissed him back . . . that had to be real. Then why had she cried?

  A knot of unease coiled itself around his insides until it smothered the intoxicating feeling left from having her in his arms. He was scared, too. More afraid of what would happen tomorrow.

  chapter twelve

  Deflection

  Cass backed up and eyed the sparkling new gas range from the hundredth angle. The installers left hours ago, but she hadn’t managed to drag herself out of the room since first thing this morning.

  She tightened the bandana under her hair and pulled her gloves off. One thing was for sure. An inspector would have to admit the kitchen was spotless, at least.

  Too bad her thoughts weren’t.

  Ethan had given her space all day. Hadn’t approached her, even once. But she didn’t have to see him to feel his lips against hers. The tender strength in his hold, his stubble under her palms. She’d relived it a thousand times since last night, always torn between wishing she’d stopped him and relieved she hadn’t.

  She should’ve been stronger. Not let him see how scared she was to feel anything for him. Or to feel, period. Now that he had, how could she redraw professional boundaries?

  Jax weaved between her legs.

  She crouched and rubbed the line running down his nose. “How do you wear a split face so beautifully, huh?”

  He propped his front paws on her knee and nuzzled his face under her chin. She scooped him up and savored his purr against her chest. The perfect massage therapy. If only it could keep the tension from claiming the rest of her body.

  “Ahem,” Ti said from the doorway. Gaining Cass’s full attention, she sashayed into the room, donning a pair of dark brown, square-shaped glasses and a tan trilby hat.

  “Who are you supposed to be, Johnny Depp?”

  Ti ran her fingers across the brim. “You don’t like my style?”

  “Which one? It changes every day.”

  “Ahh . . . the brilliance of variety.”

  “Or deflection.” Cass set Jax down, rose, and pulled her apron over her head.

  “From what?”

  “You tell me.”

  Avoiding the comment, Ti whisked the fridge open. “I’m going to a show tonight. I need some inspiration for the art pieces I want to make for the mess hall.”

  Case in point. “What, like off-Broadway or something?”

  She withdrew a bottle of water. “More like impromptu backstage stuff. This guy at the club last night was telling me about it.”

  “How do you find these people?”

  Ti twirled her beaded necklaces into a spiral. “Kindred spirits call to each other.”

  Must be why Cass didn’t have many friends. “Well, be careful with these kindred spirits.”

  Ti waved off her concern. As usual. “Is Ethan back from his call?”

  “What call?”

  After guzzling half her water, Ti set it on the counter. “I don’t know. He got a page and left in his gear.” A grin hiked up her cheek. “Speaking of which. Don’t you wonder how easy his suspenders are to get off?”

  All Cass could do was shake her head.

  Some pop song ringtone blared from Ti’s cell. She tipped it out of her hemp purse, made a face, and ignored the call.

  Cass polished the new backsplash with the balled-up apron. “Still fighting with Murray?”

  “I’m always fighting with Murray.” She adjusted her purse strap. “Whatever. If he can run off to Paris with a bunch of models and call that work, then I should be free to have my own fun without him.”

  “As long as you don’t go back to him again. The guy’s a jerk, Ti.”

  “No worse than Jesse.”

  Cass wrung the apron and stifled the reaction her ex’s name always brought. “He didn’t start out that way.”

  “Yeah, because he was playing you. Then he had the nerve to freak out when you ditched him, acting like you belong to him or something.” Eyes rolling, she huffed. “Creep. And seriously, you’d think after this long, he’d get a clue.”

  “You never liked him, did you?”

  Ti tilted her chin. “Before or after he pulverized my best friend’s heart?”

  Cass swiped a handful of silverware from the drain rack and opened the drawer they went in. “That’s a bit dramatic.”

  “Not as I recall.”

  Cass straightened the stack of spoons, trying to even out her voice. “I’m the only one responsible for my heart.”

  “Oh, c’mon, already. Will you stop trying to be so responsible all the time?”

  Cass shoved the drawer closed. “One of us has to be.” The words singed with regret before she’d finished them. Ti’s face only made it worse. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “Don’t worry about it. Other people don’t affect our hearts, right?” She blew out the side door, leaving it propped open.

  Cass knew her well enough to let her go. They’d work it out later.

  Outside, Ethan hauled one of the new mattresses up the hill to the cabin. He must’ve returned from his call and gone straight back to work. Maybe they were all overstressed. And for what? Would any of this be worthwhile?

  A glance around the kitchen and mess hall sent her yearning for the days she’d played across these floors instead of falling apart on them. She grabbed a sweater from the rack behind the door and heade
d outside. With the sun setting, the temperature was already dropping.

  Across the broken footbridge, she meandered onto the overgrown softball field and sat on the rock wall lining the edge. The flat stones warmed her skin while a flood of childhood memories paraded across the yard.

  What she’d give to slip into the parts of her past when things had felt safe. Carefree. Would letting go of the camp mean she’d lose those memories for good?

  “I thought I saw you over here.” Ethan looked across the field while strolling toward her. “Envisioning building plans?”

  She smiled. “Not a chance. We used to play softball out here.”

  In a long-sleeved T-shirt, he rubbed his cuff over his forehead. “You could have a maze. You know, kinda like a corn maze, except with grass.”

  “Not funny.”

  He settled beside her. “Kidding. I saw a mower in the garage. Not sure how long it’s been sitting in there. So, I might need to change the carburetor first, but I think we can get the field softball-ready in a few days.”

  “Because you’re a mechanic, right? I’m starting to lose track of all your superpowers.”

  He laughed. “Believe it or not, you can learn a thing or two without growing up on the streets. I know, shocking.”

  Before she could dish out a comeback, a shrill, scream-like bark echoed from the tree line. She latched on to Ethan’s arms and scoured the field until her gaze circled up to his slanted grin. She unlocked her arms from his and scooted back.

  “It’s just a fox.”

  “And don’t tell me, you’re a fox hunter, too?”

  The corners of his lips reached for his dimples. “If I need to be.”

  She resituated her shirt and tried so hard not to gape at the suspenders hanging at his sides. “What does that mean?”

  “Means I do what I have to.”

  Story of her life. “Sure you didn’t grow up in Astoria?”

  He stared at her as if she’d spoken in another language.

  “You’ve at least heard of Queens, right?” Wasn’t he supposed to be a native New Yorker? She shoved his shoulder. “And don’t look at me like you’re searching for a gang tattoo or something. You’re the Italian. You don’t see me looking for mafia tattoos.”