Write Me Home

by Crystal Walton

  Ethan wrestled to strip his voice of the anger mounting toward this guy. “That doesn’t make it all right.”

  “Yeah, well, the past doesn’t really play fair.”

  “Doesn’t let you outrun it, either,” he mumbled under his breath.

  That cold reality seized him the second they turned onto a block that looked just like the one he’d lost Izzy on. The nightmare he couldn’t forget flooded in without warning, as if he was reliving it all over again.

  The subway rumbling from one end, voices at the other. The couple fighting, the old man. Wind pummeled him with memory after memory. Izzy’s motionless body on the ground. The sirens, the smoke, the thrust of the guy’s shoulder who’d run into him.

  He backed against the brick wall, chest tightening. He thought he was ready to face this.

  Cass slid in front of him. “Are you okay?”

  Though looking right at her, he only saw that night. “She died here.”

  “What?”

  “My sister. She died on a street just like this.” He looked away. “In a fire.” The one he’d never been able to put out. He fought to blink away the images burned into his mind.

  Cass moved her hand from over her mouth to his chest. “Ethan, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have asked . . .”

  He wanted to come. After she’d been willing to contact her dad for him, and the way she’d been so brave to want to fight for the camp, he couldn’t keep hiding behind fear. But it was easier to believe he could be brave at home. Here, the darkness clawed into him with the truth.

  He lowered her wrist and pushed off the wall. With his back facing her, he squeezed his neck. “You were right. About me always playing the hero. I spent so long filling in for my parents and trying to protect Isabella that I never stopped.” He scoffed at the irony.

  She cupped his shoulder from behind, but he couldn’t bring himself to face her. “I couldn’t save her, Cass.”

  “You were there?” Sympathy coated her voice. “What happened?”

  Flashes of memories struck unrelentingly. “She was trapped in our car. There was gas all over the engine. It was windy. I don’t know what sparked the fire. The investigation never gave us answers, but it doesn’t matter. She died because of me.” The pain in his confession streaked down his cheeks.

  He shouldn’t have left her in that car. One minute. If he could go back in time and change that one minute and take her with him to the gas station instead, she’d still be here.

  “I’ve dedicated ten years to rescuing others, but it’s never her. It’s never enough.” Regret collided with loss and broke his shoulders.

  Cass turned him toward her, cheeks coated in tears of her own. Without any words, she held him with arms that absorbed the aches he’d kept buried for so long. Wave after wave, they poured out until he had nothing left to give.

  Minutes lapsed. Noises clamored from all directions. But while standing in the middle of that dark alleyway, a whisper rose up inside him and overpowered every other voice roaring through his mind. “You don’t have to rescue her. I already did.” The words tore into the grip that’d been strangling him for ten years.

  He looked toward heaven, cords around his heart unwinding. Izzy was safe, loved. Despite his failures, grace had been enough. Even now. Even for him.

  Cass lifted back to search his face. Hazel eyes, full of compassion and assurance, steadied him. She was a part of that same grace. There were still so many things he didn’t understand, but that much he was sure of.

  He kissed her with salty lips and rested his forehead to hers. “I’m sorry for always trying to fix everything.”

  She grinned. “You’d make a lousy handyman if you didn’t.”

  Laughing, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “Thank you,” he whispered over her hair.

  He loosened his hold and tugged on his ear. Having a complete breakdown in the middle of the street wasn’t exactly what he’d envisioned on the way down here.

  She set her chin on his chest, looked up, and smiled. “Ready?”

  He ran his hand down her hair and nodded. He might not ever be able to explain how much her being here with him right now meant. But if she still wanted to be with him after seeing him at his weakest, he’d never stop trying to show her.

  She kept her shoulder tucked under his and steered them down the road toward an awning with Freida’s Flowers on it.

  Aside from someone clanking a lid onto a metal garbage can in the far corner, the block was empty. A few porch lights cast a dim glow over graffiti covering the brick walls on either side of them. He peeked through the iron window guards into a dark room of flowers. This was where she grew up?

  Cass knelt to unlock an aluminum rolling gate. She heaved it up, pushed her key in the deadbolt, and paused.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Without turning, she hung her head. “I just found out my mom’s using again. I have no idea what we’ll find in here, and I’m at a loss on what to say if she’s home.”

  He steadied her hand with his and helped her turn the key. “You don’t have to do it alone.”

  Exhaling, she gave him an affirming nod and opened the door.

  A fragrant burst of warm air rolled out from the quaint shop. He eased the door shut behind them to keep from making too much noise. Something about the place evoked a sense of reverence. Maybe it was the way Cass’s face came to life while taking in all the flowers. This was a part of her, even if it was a difficult part.

  A noise stirred behind a back door. Shadows streamed in from under it. Ethan darted a glance toward Cass, but she moved toward the door without any hint of hesitation. He searched the room for something to use as a weapon. Bravery was one thing. Recklessness was another. “Cass, wait.”

  She whisked the door open.

  A frazzled woman holding a lamp in the air about clobbered her. Sighing, she lowered her arm. “Cass, baby, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

  It had to be her mom. Loose curls framed an aged face with hair that looked like it might’ve been the same vibrant red as her daughter’s at one point.

  “Thieves don’t usually have a key to the joints they rob, Ma.” Cass pried her mom’s fingers from the lamp and set it on the floor.

  He could’ve been reliving the first day he’d met Cass, when she’d raised a lamp at him, thinking he was an intruder. He fixed his attention on a nearby plant to keep from laughing.

  “Well, I don’t know how you got in here. I just heard some rustling.” Her mom snapped on the overhead light. “What are you doing here this late?”

  “Sorry. It was sort of last minute.” Cass circled around a counter and shuffled through some papers.

  “Always business. You can at least introduce me to your friend, Cassidy.” Her gaze trickled over him like a strobe light.

  A hard exhale came from the counter. “Ma, Ethan DeLuca. Ethan, my mom, Freida McAdams.”

  “Pleasure.”

  He shook her hand. “Likewise.”

  Cass leafed through paper after paper. “How do you find anything around here?”

  “It’s organized chaos, baby.” She moved beside her and patted the pages into a pile.

  Side by side, there was no mistaking the resemblance. The same hazel eyes and all. Except her mom’s were missing Cass’s spark of life that had captured him from the beginning.

  The crinkled skin around her mom’s eyes and mouth bore the marks of age. But after all Cass’d told him, he wouldn’t be surprised if life had left deeper marks of its own.

  “It’s late, Cassidy. Can we forget paperwork for now? Come upstairs and have some coffee.”

  Coffee. She’d just spoken the magic word. Ethan waited for Cass’s response.

  Her face fell instead of lighting up, but she recovered in a heartbeat. “Why don’t you make some and bring it down?”

  “Have it your way.” Her mom rounded the doorway. “Sugar and cream for you, hon?”

&
nbsp; Ethan nodded. “However you make it.”

  After a quick nod, she scurried up the stairs.

  Cass smirked through a look of fatigue. “You might be sorry you said that.”

  “That bad, huh?”

  “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  He moseyed over and kneaded her shoulders from behind.

  Moaning, she let her head hang as he worked out the knots. “Thanks. I needed that.”

  “You wanna talk about it?”

  She leaned her elbows on the counter and released a long breath. “The economy’s gotten so bad, people don’t buy from specialty shops like this anymore. They buy bulk or from street vendors selling roses for a buck. I hoped if we gave it time things would turn around, but the bank’s about to foreclose on the property. My mom lives in the apartment upstairs. If she loses the shop, she’ll lose her home, her livelihood.”

  She dropped her arms to the ledge, pushed off it, and strolled toward the displays. “I thought if I could sell the camp, I’d have enough to pay off her mortgage so she wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.”

  The fragments came together and almost butted him straight in the head. The weight she’d been carrying, the stress of getting the camp up to code, the pressure to hurry. Why hadn’t he seen it before now? And why didn’t she just tell him? He could’ve been more supportive. Could’ve worked harder, done things differently.

  Defensiveness stormed the heels of regret. Wait. How could her mom let her bear the weight of that kind of responsibility? Did she have any clue what Cass had gone through on her behalf?

  Cass traced her fingers under a plant’s petals. “But now, I honestly don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help her anymore. Or if I even can.”

  As hard as it was not to hold her in his arms until the turmoil faded from her voice, it wasn’t his place to fix it. He’d finally learned that. Behind her, he kissed the top of her shoulder. “Maybe you were never meant to be her rescuer.”

  She turned and found his eyes, and he prayed they held the assurance of everything he couldn’t find the words to say.

  “I hope decaf is okay.” Her mom came through the door, holding a paper under her chin, and slid a tray of coffee mugs onto the counter. “Here.” She handed the page to Cass. “I assume this is why you came. To take care of this.”

  She flaunted a proud smile at Ethan like she was brandishing an honor roll student bumper sticker. “My girl’s a whiz with this business stuff. Always bails me out. Right, baby?”

  Cass clenched the page, head down. “No.” The whisper held such emotion, Ethan had to grip the display case beside him to keep from reacting.

  Genuine confusion drifted down her mom’s wrinkled face. “What do you mean, no?”

  Cass’s lashes lifted. “I mean, we can’t keep doing this. I can’t fix everything for you. You have to decide if you want to keep the shop.”

  “You don’t think I want my shop?” Hurt touched her mom’s eyes, but Cass didn’t back down.

  “You’re sure not acting like it.”

  She clanked her mug on the counter. “What do you want me to do, Cassidy? You’re not here. You don’t know what it’s like.”

  “Yes. I do.” Hands balled up, she approached her mom. “You don’t think I know the pain of having Dad leave us? That I wasn’t here, listening to you sob in your room every night?” She snatched a handful of papers off the counter. “That I didn’t stay in the shop past midnight every day, crunching numbers to make ends meet? I was here, Ma. I’ve always been here.” Her arm drooped to her side, the fight dissolving from her voice.

  “And now you want me to lose everything?”

  Frustration crinkled Cass’s forehead. “No. I want you to take a stand and finally see all you have that’s worth fighting for.” Her face softened as she let go of the papers and reached for her hands. “I want you to hold your head high and believe you can do this.”

  A glassy sheen covered her mom’s eyes. “I can’t do it on my own.”

  She cupped her shoulders. “Yes, you can.”

  The strain between them collapsed into a hug Ethan knew they needed to share alone.

  He slipped outside. The street remained quiet, unaware of the reconciliation taking place on the other side of the door.

  With his foot propped behind him, he leaned against the bricks and faced the sky. Despite the light pollution hiding the stars, they were still there. Always would be. If tonight hadn’t taught him that, nothing would.

  The door crept open minutes later. Cass strolled out with fresh tearstains lining her cheeks. The porch light caught her vulnerable smile, and Ethan caved.

  Enough with resisting pulling her close. He rested his chin over her head as she curled her arms around his back.

  Had they really only known each other a little over a week? He’d be telling any of his friends they were crazy if they thought they could fall in love that quickly. But math and logic didn’t matter when it came to her. He pressed his lips to her hair. This was real.

  She nestled closer. “Thanks for being here.”

  As long as he was with her, he wouldn’t be anywhere else. “I—”

  His pager went off. Shaking his head at the timing, he unclipped it from his belt.

  Every muscle in his body constricted with the heat of panic.

  “What is it?” She lifted off him. “Ethan, what’s wrong?”

  He forced his jaw to move. “That’s Nonna’s address.”

  chapter twenty-one

  Burned

  The same red lights from the other night circled across the treetops. Cass gripped the dashboard as Ethan whipped her Passat up to Nonna’s house. She pinned her cell to her ear with her shoulder and reached for the seatbelt buckle.

  “Is everything all right?” Ti asked from the other end of the line.

  “I don’t know. We just pulled up.” Cass wrenched the seatbelt free while staring at the ambulance in the driveway. At least there were no flames. Please let Nonna be okay.

  “Should Sanders and I come? Maybe we can help.”

  Ethan flipped the unlocked button and zipped out of the car.

  In the dark, Cass fumbled around for the door handle. “I don’t know, Ti. Let me call you back.”

  Ethan had reached the porch before she ever got her door open. Two men in blue station uniforms coming out of the house passed a firefighter in full gear who’d stopped to talk to Ethan.

  Cass weaved through the vehicles. The diesel engine’s steady hum overpowered the voices all around her. At Ethan’s side, she slid one hand into his and wrapped the other around his arm.

  He craned his neck back, closed his eyes, and exhaled. “Thank God.”

  “What? What happened?” Cass looked from him to the firefighter, standing in front of the door.

  The man took off his helmet and wiped his brow. “She fell. Gave her hip a pretty good bruise, but it looks like she’ll be fine.”

  Fell? They sent the fire department out for that?

  A burnt stench billowed from inside the house as a young medic came through the door. So, there’d been a fire, too?

  Face taut, the medic flashed Ethan a cautious glance. “I wouldn’t go in there unless you want your head bitten off.”

  Cass pinched her lips. Nonna was probably being as mischievous as she’d been the other night.

  Ethan smiled for the first time in two and half hours. “I’m used to it.” Still holding Cass’s hand, he led her inside.

  A charred smell rushed over them with a cool breeze blowing through the kitchen. At least someone’d thought to open the back door to air out the place. But if the haze still lingering around the ceiling were any indication, it’d probably take days to neutralize the odor.

  Lady scurried from under a kitchen chair and practically climbed up Ethan’s leg. Poor girl had to be scared with all these people around. Cass knelt to pet her, but she seemed to want only Ethan.

  He scooped her up, and she tremble
d against his chest as they followed the voices coming from a back bedroom. Even with Ethan rubbing her head to calm her, she growled at another medic passing them in the hall.

  Cass glanced at a fire detector dangling from the ceiling. “Maybe we should shut her in that other bedroom for now.”

  He shook his head, lips tipped to the side. “I’m not going near Nonna without some kind of backup.”

  Cass nudged him forward. Was he kidding? All he’d have to do was flash those unfairly disarming blue eyes, and Nonna’d soften in a second. Shoot, anyone would. She might be tough, but she adored her grandson. No mistake about it.

  Around the doorway, a short, white haired woman standing beside the dresser fidgeted with her purse. “Ethan.” She rushed over and rested an aged hand on his arm. “I didn’t know if anyone else would come. I need to get home to check on my husband, but I didn’t want to leave Elena alone.”

  “Go on and get. I don’t need a babysitter,” Nonna grumbled from her bed toward the woman who must’ve been a friend. She nodded at a medic, unwrapping a blood pressure cuff from her bicep. “That goes for you, too, Tiffany. I don’t want to have to call your mother.”

  A wry smile lifted the young woman’s cheeks. “Now, now, Mrs. DeLuca. That’s no way to be treating folks trying to take care of you.” She rolled up the cuff and secured it in her bag while Nonna mumbled something in Italian.

  Cass inched behind Ethan’s shoulder to shield her grin.

  “What are you smiling at?”

  Gulping, Cass crept out, but Nonna had her gaze locked on Ethan.

  She propped herself up a little higher against the headboard. “Come here, young man. And don’t try using my Lady as a barrier, either.”

  Busted.

  “Keep an eye on her every few hours,” the medic whispered on her way past him. “Good luck,” she mouthed before circling through the doorway.

  He lowered Lady onto the mattress. As soon as her paws hit the blankets, she scampered up to his grandma’s side and wedged her face under Nonna’s arm.

  Ethan sat on the edge of the bed. “You want to tell me what happened?”

  Her tight-lipped expression eliminated the need for an answer.