Skeezers (The Cartel Publications Presents)

by Shay Hunter

  “Wisdom, don’t do this. I told you that she’s afraid to be alone and you said you would wait. It’s only been a month.”

  “Did you hear how that bitch talked to you back there…in the store? Huh? Its one thing to live with her but it’s a whole ‘notha thing to let her run your life. I’m done with sitting by and watching this shit. I gotta move on.”

  Warm tears ran down my cheeks. “When are you moving?”

  “A week and if you’re not with me when I get the keys it’s over, Carlita. I’m washing my hands of you.”

  ****

  I walked into Monique’s dressing room and Waxton was braiding her hair for the weave. When Mo saw me she said, “Girl, I thought I was gonna have to cuss your ass out.” She reached out. “Give me the hair so I can get this shit done.”

  I handed it to her and looked at Waxton, her closest friend and hairdresser. He was gay, loud and as mean as she was so for real I didn’t like him. “You mind giving us five minutes alone?”

  He rolled his eyes and looked down at Monique. “You want me to go?”

  “Yeah, it’s okay.”

  “Well hurry up because I’m not gonna be here all day. Got another appointment later tonight.” He bumped me on his way out.

  “I can’t stand him,” I said through my teeth.

  “He’s cool but you know how he is.” She looked in my eyes. “Oh shit, what did Wisdom do now?”

  “He’s moving in the new house in a week.”

  “That’s good. So what he gonna do, get things ready for you to come in five months?”

  “No, he wants me to help him plan and I’m going sooner. I gotta save my relationship, Mo and I hope you understand.”

  She tossed the hair on her dresser. “So what you saying?”

  “I’m moving out. I can’t lose Wisdom.” I moved closer, pulled up a chair and sat in front of her. “Lately I’ve had a feeling that he’s been pulling away. I even saw him keeping time with white girl Ohio the other day.”

  “I knew he wasn’t shit.” She slapped her hands together. “If you ask me that should be more of a reason for you to leave him alone.”

  “But I’m not gonna leave him alone and I’m not gonna hand my nigga over to another chick either. I have to make things work and I’m willing to do anything.”

  She exhaled, looked down at her hands that were clutched in her lap and back at me. “I’m not mad, Carlita. Wisdom is a good man and I can understand you wanting to spend the rest of your life with him. I guess jealousy had me being selfish and not thinking of you.” She scooted toward me and placed her hand over mine. “It’s okay. Go and be with him. I’m just gonna have to find another roommate.”

  My eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

  “I’m positive.” She hugged me and I inhaled her perfume. “We’ll be okay, you’ll see.”

  I was surprised. She sounded sincerely happy for me. I just wish I could believe her.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  MONIQUE

  “You know I’m not saying that, Poe. I just wouldn’t have done it to her is all.” I placed my seat belt on as he pulled out of the parking lot. “She’s my cousin and I’m done with her.”

  “You shouldn’t cut her off just because she wants to be with Wisdom. It’s not like you need her to pay the rent. Your house is paid off already. Been paid off for years.”

  “But they didn’t know that.”

  He looked over at me. “So you were pocketing the money that Carlita gave you for rent?”

  “Pocketing the money?” I laughed. “I paid that house off a long time ago. Just because I’m making a little back by charging Carlita rent doesn’t make me a villain.”

  He laughed. “You cold.”

  “It’s not that, I just…I mean…”

  “Maybe she’s leaving for the same reason Spy left because of how you treat people.” He cut his left blinker on and merged over. “If you don’t be careful everybody you love gonna be gone.”

  “Is that a threat?”

  “I would never threaten you.”

  “That’s the only thing I don’t like about you, Poe. No matter what I do you always imagine me as this monster. And it’s so far from who I am. To have known me for so many years I would think you would know my heart.” I shook my head. “That’s fucked up and it hurts.”

  “Let’s drop it.”

  I looked at him from the corner of my eye. I didn’t want to drop it. I wanted to talk more but he hated to be pushed. “What you doing tonight?”

  “Nothing. You know we have that NBA party tomorrow at the club so I have a lot to take care of.” He looked at me. “You can stay over tonight if you want but I have a few more stops to make. I should be back early though.”

  “Can I ask you something without you getting mad?” I paused. “Because something’s been on my mind.”

  He sighed. “Go ‘head, Mo.”

  “How do you feel about our relationship so far? Do you think we’re coming along?”

  “Like I said a few days ago I think we should take it slow. Let’s not gauge shit every week. We’ve been friends for so long that we have to be careful.”

  “Well what do you think about me staying with you? With Carlita moving out I’m alone. And I’ve never been alone in my life.” I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. “Do you think that you…I mean…could…”

  “What, Mo?”

  “Let me live with you? I promise to stay out of your way if—”

  I stopped talking because he was shaking his head no even though I didn’t finish talking. “We just started seeing each other, Mo. Why would you jump into a living situation so soon?”

  “I just told you why.”

  “You’re a woman and you shouldn’t be afraid to stay by yourself for something that happened years ago. You have to move on. Plenty of women were raped and are stronger.”

  I felt my body trembling because even now when I needed him he was only willing to give me part of him. I wanted him to be fully present and step up now more than ever. “So you won’t let me stay with you? Not even until I’m use to living alone?”

  He looked over at me and exhaled. “I don’t think it will be a good idea. I got a lot of shit going on right now and the last thing I want to do is take it out on you. I’m sorry.”

  ****

  Even though he said I could stay over tonight, I decided to stay at my place anyway. I felt sick to my stomach every time I thought about how he treated me. If he didn’t want me around I decided not to stay around. The thing was I forgot how much the house seemed to moan when I was alone. Everywhere I turned there was a crack or bump and I believed in my heart that somebody was in here waiting to hurt me.

  When there was a knock on my door I almost jumped out of my skin until I remembered I asked Waxton over. I grabbed the comforter that I had wrapped around my body and walked to the front door to let him in. The moment Waxton came inside I hugged him and locked the door.

  “What’s wrong with you girl?” he looked around. “You act like I’m about to give you some pussy or something.”

  “First of all you don’t have a pussy and second of all I’m just happy to see you.”

  He looked around. “Why? What the fuck is going on?”

  I pulled him toward the sofa and he sat down. “I think somebody’s in my house.”

  He jumped up. “What you mean somebody in the house?” He looked around again. “Call the fucking police!”

  “I can’t, it’s difficult to explain.”

  He frowned and backed away. “Well unless you want me to leave this bitch you better tell me something.”

  He hadn’t bothered to sit back down and since I needed him to hang around for a minute I decided to be real. “I’ve called the police before when I heard noises. They came in and nobody was here.” I exhaled. “Actually five different times they came and they couldn’t find anybody. They said one more time and I would be fined.”

  He placed his fingers on his
chin. “So wait…you call the police and lie?”

  I frowned. “I’m not lying, somebody is in here.”

  “Okay, girl, this is too much. How about you tell me why I’m here so I can go on with my life.” He looked around again and back at me. “Because now you got me hearing things.”

  “Okay, okay, I need you to do me a favor and you can’t back out.”

  “Is this a paying favor? Because I can’t be bothered with you these days about my money. My cousins still mad about you saying you were gonna pay one fee and gave me something else. Splitting five hundred dollars between three niggas not enough.”

  “All they had to do was drive up and scare Poe in front of Skeezers! Who said they needed three people?” I paused. “Anyway this job is paying but I need it done A.S.A.P.”

  He smiled. “Bitch, as long as I’m getting my money the skies are the limit.” He finally sat down. “Now tell me what you need.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  SPYRELLA

  ONE MONTH LATER

  I had five more minutes on the treadmill after running for an hour. Sweat drops were sprinkled everywhere and I loved it. The past few months I felt light on my feet and my endurance was way up. If only I could get Reggie, who now lived with me, to stop making foods that do nothing but make me feel guilty after I stuff my face. Sometimes I feel like he wants me fat on purpose although he tells me it’s not true.

  My mother walked up on me and she seemed worried. “I have a few runs to make, Spy but do you mind if I talk to you for a moment, in private?” These days she looked like an entirely different person and even got a job as a waitress at a diner around the corner. Her life was coming along but she always seemed like there was something on her mind. Something she didn’t trust me enough to understand.

  “Uh, sure.” I wiped my face with the purple towel on the treadmill and walked toward the den that was directly off the living room. When we were alone I sat on the arm of the chair. “What’s up?”

  “I’m worried about you, Spy. Very worried.”

  My jaw dropped. “Wait, I have never been happier and thinner and you’re worried about me?” I pointed to myself.

  “I hear you in the bathroom when Reggie’s at work,” she whispered “I hear you throwing up.”

  I felt dizzy because after Reggie caught me the last time I did my best to hide the secret from him, making sure to only do it when he wasn’t home. “Ma, you can’t tell him,” I said in a low voice. “You can’t let him know.”

  “Spy, I never told you this because I was afraid you wouldn’t be able to handle it. But when I was growing up I wanted to be a dancer too. More than anything. That’s where you got it from.” She smiled. “I was good at it. So good I was getting recruited to some of the best colleges in the world. My dream was to go to New York and make it big.” She sighed. “I had a boyfriend at the time and I loved him a lot. More than anything. And the plan was for him to go with me.”

  “Did he?”

  “I came home early one day, after visiting Julliard. When I did I saw Levine and him, sitting in the car out front of our house, having sex.” She sighed and I saw tears flow down her face. “They ended up being together for awhile and it tore me apart. I never recovered.”

  “I’m sorry, ma.”

  She wiped tears away. “It’s okay. Really.” She exhaled. “Levine had always been sexual and I thought if I could be like her, move like her, that he would want me too.” She paused. “Well he didn’t want me. But I spent a lot of time trying to be someone that I wasn’t. And look at the condition of my life, Spy.” She got up and placed her hand on mine. “Don’t trade places with me. Don’t be someone you aren’t. It’ll kill you in the long run.” She stood up, kissed me and walked out.

  My mother never shared her story with me before but that was her business not mine. I didn’t want to be like anyone but myself and as far as I’m concerned she could kiss my ass. The new me was improved and I was not gonna stop doing what I was to look good.

  When I walked into the kitchen I saw Reggie was making French fries while a big pitcher of lemonade sat on the counter. I walked up behind him and he winked at me. “The lemonade is on point if you want some.”

  “Nope, I think I’ll get some water.” I opened the fridge, grabbed a bottle of Fiji and gulped it down.

  “But you love my lemonade.” He reached into the cabinet over my head and poured me a large glass anyway. It was so full that juice oozed from the sides.

  I looked at it and frowned. “Reggie, I said I don’t want it.”

  He placed it on the table. “Let me ask you something, are you going to let this weight loss change who you are?” He paused. “Because for one week when we first got together you were so happy. And now…well now things are different.”

  “Change who I am? For your information I was small before you met me, Reggie. And I was miserable when I was fat.” I pushed the lemonade aside. “Just because you have some fat girl fetish doesn’t mean I have to be a part of it.”

  “Fat girl fetish?” He frowned and turned off the hot grease. “If a man wanted to date only white women, or light skin women, no one would say he had a fetish. But because I like big women I’m some kind of freak now?”

  “I’m not saying that.”

  “Then what are you saying, Spy? That I’m wrong for loving you how I met you and that I want you to be the same?” He walked up to me and grabbed me around my waist. I started to resist because I was sweaty but I knew he wouldn't care. He once ate my pussy after I cleaned the house all day and was dripping with perspiration. “I want you as you were and there will be nothing you can say to convince me that I’m wrong for feeling that way.”

  “I know, Reggie, and I love that about you. But you must understand that unless I’m a size I’m comfortable with, I will never be truly happy. Ever.”

  ****

  To get my mind off of things Reggie invited me to the movies to see the new Denzel Washington flick. And to make him feel like I appreciated the gesture I ordered a hot dog, popcorn, candy and water.

  While he was paying for the food two dudes kept looking at me and at first I thought they were staring at someone behind me. That is until the taller of the two walked up to me. “I’m not trying to be disrespectful but I just had to say you were beautiful.”

  My jaw hung because I hadn’t received a compliment from anyone but Reggie and Poe in a year. “Thank…thank you. I…appreciate it.” I tried not to blush but the attention made me feel good.

  “Are you taken?” he continued.

  Reggie suddenly put his arm around my shoulder and said, “She is.” He extended his hand and the tallest one shook it. “We appreciate the compliment.”

  The tallest one said, “No disrespect, man. She is bad though.” Both of them walked away.

  “That was crazy,” I said to Reggie who didn’t seem to impressed.”

  “They just niggas.” He waved them off.

  When we got inside the theater the previews were playing. He seemed a little distant after the compliment and I hoped he wasn’t mad at me. “Are you okay, Reggie?”

  He looked at me and squeezed my chin softly. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  The theater got darker and I could feel the tension growing. Almost like he was going to do something although I didn’t know what. Since the previews were still on we made small talk and then he floored me.

  “I don’t want to be with anybody else in this world, Spy. Anybody. Can you see being with me only? Forever?”

  “Yeah, I think so.”

  “I need you to know.”

  “Of course, Reggie. There’s nobody else.” He winked and to avoid talking anymore I downed my hotdog, candy, popcorn and water. When I was done I said, “I’ll be right back. I have to go to the lady’s room.”

  He smiled and I rushed to the bathroom so I wouldn’t miss the movie. Once in the stall I stuck my finger down my throat and threw up everything I ate. I could feel a flap of skin in m
y throat swell up but I didn’t care. After the attention I got there was nothing going to stop me from being thin and this worked for me. In my mind I was getting the best of both worlds.

  When I came out of the stall this fat bitch standing in front of the sink stared at me like I was crazy. She reminded me of myself back in the day and I felt I had to give her the best advice given to me. “You need to purge, honey. And if you don’t know what that means I suggest you look it up.”

  When I was done I went back in the theater and enjoyed the movie with Reggie. He acted like something was still on his mind and I figured it was the guy who tried to talk to me until we were in the car going home.

  Instead of driving to the house he pulled on the side of the road. Grabbing one of my hands he exhaled and looking into my eyes. “I know I’ve been weird all night. I wanted to do this earlier but it seemed like something kept coming up. I knew if I didn’t do it now it’ll never happen.”

  “What’s going on, Reggie?”

  “Shhhh.” He placed a finger over his lips. “I love you, Spy. I’ve never loved anybody the way I do you. And I know it’s early but I’m asking you and begging you, to be my wife.”

  My jaw hung. “What…I…I…”

  “You deserve to be happy and if you allow me I can do that for you. We live together, we love each other, what do we have to lose?”

  I looked at him and thought about our lives. He cooked for me. Worked hard for me and I barely had to lift a finger. For the first time in my life, in a crazy shift, I was the one being catered to. I may have had a few dudes looking my way but it was Reggie who kept me safe and warm. It was Reggie who sincerely wanted me even if I got fat again.

  What did I have to lose?

  “Yes,” I said. “Yes I will be your wife.”

  He shot his fists up in the air and hugged me excitedly, like he just won high stakes in a football game. “You see, I told you that you’d never get away from me. And I was right.”