The Baby Bump_Black Knights MC

by Sophia Gray

  I gasp for air as I drop back into the seat. Andre grimaces and hands me a paper towel so that I can wipe my mouth. My body shudders, that taste still in my mouth. “Gross,” I whisper. “So nasty…”

  He rubs a hand across my back while shooting a glare at Debbie. “We’re supposed to watch out for each other.”

  “Says the overprotective daddy. Relax, we got her and she’s safe. Barfing is all part and parcel of being pregnant. If you can’t handle a little throw up, what are you going to do when the baby arrives? Poop, piss, vomit, and a bunch of…"

  “Yeah, yeah, I get it.” He lets out a huff and offers me a bottle of water.

  “I can’t believe the leader of the Black Knights is squeamish.” I can’t help but grin at him as I sip the water.

  “Okay, lovebirds, we’re here.”

  As Hailey speaks, I look up and see the safe house. It’s not one I’ve ever been to before. All humor washes from me, and I swallow hard. We’re really here, and I have no idea what’s happened to my mother. My father is most likely dead. As much as it hurts, I don’t intend on going home. I want to make it work with Andre and the rest of the crew.

  “Come on, let’s go.” Andre touches my arm and leaves the car. I follow him as quickly as I can, my stomach still in knots. My hand grips his hard as we run for the safe house doors. When we get inside, I’m greeted with enough contraband to make me feel nauseated all over again. There are shelves upon shelves of it, right there inside the door. I can’t imagine what the rooms are filled with.

  “Holy shit, Andre. Are you sure this is the safest place to be right now?”

  “Yeah.” His hand grips mine even harder, and he practically drags me down the hall and into another room. The lights are motion sensitive and flicker on as soon as we step inside. I have no idea what he plans on doing, but my stomach still doesn’t feel right and my brain is whirling like a top. I grip his shoulder as soon as he stops, and the door slams next to my face.

  “Andre…”

  I can’t say another word before his mouth is on mine. He kisses me with a kind of passion I have never felt before, and it makes me withdraw.

  “Andre.” My voice is firm enough this time that he doesn’t try to kiss me again. “Andre… please, just give me a second.” I draw in a deep breath and square my shoulders. “I barely know what happened out there. I was at home, I ended up in the car, we were driving to the airport, then… I thought I saw you, but it wasn’t. You came and got me out and….” I swallow hard and look up at him.

  “Your dad. I know.” He takes my face in his hands. “But he was going to take you away from me. You and the baby. We both know he never would have let us see each other. He probably would have killed me, given the chance.”

  I step away from him and slide my hands back through my hair. How am I supposed to feel right now? On the drive here I felt very little, but now that the danger is over I know that I will never see my father again. That reality hits me like a boot in the gut, and I feel a wave of nausea hit me again. I draw in long, slow breaths. When I see him walk toward me out of the corner of my eye, I hold up a hand to stop him and shake my head.

  He stays back for a few moments, but comes over to me despite my hand. His fingers close around my own, and even though I try to push him away, he wraps his other arm around my shoulders and pulls me close. The tears flow even though I don’t want them to, the events of the last several hours seared into my mind. I feel like I’m going to vomit again, but I manage to hold it back.

  “He’s dead… I saw him go down. He’s dead.”

  “Kristel. She had to. He could have –”

  “I know! Just leave me alone!” I shove at his chest and untangle my fingers from his hand and rush to the opposite end of the room. Panic grips me, but I have no idea why. My parents have always been in my life, even when I didn’t want them there. I want to feel nothing, and logic tells me Andre is right, but it doesn’t feel right. The only thing that feels right is the loss inside me and the trauma of the unknown that comes with it.

  Even though it hasn’t been confirmed, I know in my heart that Robert Bryce is dead. Debbie never misses.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Andre

  I don’t understand. Kristel seemed fine in the car on the way here, almost like her normal self. Now, though, I almost feel like the enemy. My arms fold across my chest, and I stare at her across the room. What do I do? How do I comfort her? I glance back toward the door we came through, and I hear the sounds of my crew as they chatter away with excitement. Everything went down without a hitch, and they should be excited. I don’t share the same feeling, though. As I turn back to look at Kristel, my heart drops in my chest.

  Of course.

  I know what it feels like to lose a parent. I’ve suffered the same loss, and regardless of the fact that Bryce was an enemy to me, he was a parent to Kristel. My eyes lower briefly to the floor, and I draw in a shallow breath. Memories of my mother flash through my mind, and I pinch the bridge of my nose to stop them; they don’t stop, though. They just keep coming:

  “Andre, can you pass me the cake mix?”

  “Okay, Mom.” I stand on the tips of my toes and pull the chocolate vanilla cake mix off the counter. Filled with excitement, I trot over to her and hand her the box. “Will there be chocolate chips in it like last time?”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, sweetie. We don’t have chocolate chips, but the cake mix has chocolate in it.”

  “But I want them. Can’t you or Dad go get some?”

  She turns away from the counter and crouches down to look at me. Her warm hands grip my shoulders, and she gives me a sad smile. “Not today, Andre. The next time we make cake together, though, I’ll make sure there are chocolate chips for it. Okay?”

  “Okay…”

  Her hand strokes through my hair. “I may have something even better than chocolate chips all melted in warm cake. Follow me.”

  As she moves away from the kitchen and into the living room, I follow her. I still feel sad about the lack of chocolate chips, but I don’t bring it up again. There’s not really any time to as I freeze at the entrance into the living room.

  There, draped across the back of the couch, is a bearskin rug. It’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen, and mom has brought home a lot over the years. I’m only five years old, but I can remember all the ones I’ve seen, and none of them were ever this large. Its fur is deep brown and long, and I have to touch it. My hands stretch toward it as I walk over to the couch, and my eyes widen when I sink my hands deep into the fur.

  “Whoa…”

  My mother smiles and crouches next to me. “It’s yours. Happy Birthday, Andre.”

  “Happy Birthday, Andre,” I murmur under my breath. Those words and that voice are two things I won’t ever forget. My mother wasn’t in my life for very long, but Kristel’s father has been in her life until mere hours ago. I don’t know whether to feel afraid that she’ll want to go home or relieved that she truly feels something. In my life, feeling anything has only served to cause trouble. Loving Kristel, though, has made me stronger; I truly believe that.

  “Kristel.” I draw in another breath and walk toward her. Aggression has always served me well in the past, and I know how to use it in any given situation. This kind of thing, though, has me at a loss. It’s not something I can beat up or throw money at. “Kristel, please don’t push me away.”

  She looks at me, her arms folded across her chest. Her eyes glisten with tears, but I have no quips or snide remarks. Right now, I can understand her pain even though mine is no longer fresh.

  “I know how this feels.” Before she can say anything, I hold up my hands. “I do. My mother died when I was a boy, remember? I didn’t see it happen, but I was there. When Dad told me she was dead, it broke me. And that bearskin rug at my place? She gave that to me for my birthday. That’s the first time I felt a real connection with you, on that rug. Remember?” I shake my head. “You have to believe me when I s
ay that I understand, okay? And fuck… it hurts like hell. It feels like half your world has been crushed under someone else’s boot and you have no idea how to get back up again. I still feel that way even now. So trust me when I say… I’m here for you. You’ve got to believe me. But if you want to be pissed at someone, be pissed at me. Don’t be pissed at Debbie or Grant or any of them. I’m the one who put this all in motion.”

  “I am pissed!” She takes a step closer to me and shoves my chest. “You got caught, Andre! You were never supposed to get caught. This all started, because you were an asshole and provoked my dad! After that all he wanted was to get back at you. He never said it, but I knew my dad. He was out every night. He worked double shifts. He was barely even home. Mom and I worried over him every night, because he never called to say he’d be late. When he had days off, guess what he was doing? Yeah, asshole. Looking for you!” She angrily wipes tears from her face. “And then, when I found out he finally had you, it was like the end of the world. How could you have been so stupid as to get caught? Why did you trust Will? Grant told me he fucked you over. What’s wrong with you?”

  My heart thunders in my ears. It’s all I can hear at this point aside from Kristel’s yelling, but my heart breaks for her. Most people who know me say I don’t have much of a heart, but I like to think that Grant and Kristel know differently.

  Words don’t seem to be getting through to her, so I take her face in my hands and kiss her. She shoves at me again, and I can taste her tears as they fall down her face to her lips. My hands grip her own, and I press closer, my feet shoulder-length apart. Each time she pushes at me, I brace so she can’t move me away. I do give her the option to put distance between us, but she doesn’t step away from me, either. Not this time.

  Over and over I kiss her lips and her cheeks and her forehead. I’ve never see her cry this hard before, and I’m still at a loss of what to do other than hold onto her. “I’m here, Kristel. I know things are fucked up right now, but I’m here.”

  “Everything is so fucked up,” she whispers. “My life… my dad dying… you. I didn’t even really like my dad. He was pushy and arrogant and overprotective. And locking me in that room, yelling at me. I felt like I was 12 years old again. I hated him so much that I wanted him to die. But I don’t think I actually did hate him. Not really.” Her head tilts as she looks up at me. “And I know I blamed you for everything, but to be honest I have no idea where the blame should fall… if it should at all. So much has happened between the pregnancy and the…” She shakes her head and waves her hands around. It looks like an effort to describe chaos without using any words.

  “Kristel…” I hold her face and press my forehead to her own. “It’s okay to vent. And cry. Blame whoever you want to, but we both know this is my fault. Straight from the beginning. If I hadn’t of come after you at the club….” I shrug.

  Her bottom lip trembles, and she draws in deep, shaky lungfuls of air. “Maybe, but I’m tired of yelling and crying and pinning blame on everyone. What I’d really like to know right now is what happened with Will.”

  A frown touches my mouth. “You know.”

  “No. I mean, why did he turn on you?”

  That question hurts in more ways than I can express, and all I can do is roll my shoulders back in a shrug. “I don’t know. I also don’t know when he started ratting me out to the cops, because I sure as hell don’t think it’s new. Morris… the book fuck ups… everything. I think it was him, but I don’t have proof. It’s all I can think of, though, because things used to run as smooth as a baby’s bum.”

  “He was so funny. So eager to teach me. He was always pushing me to do better, to run faster, to be stronger. It doesn’t make sense.”

  I nod and give her a faint smile. “He was always that way with me, too. And so fucking loyal.” My hands take hers, and I pull her slowly down onto the floor next to me. “I really am sorry for everything that happened.”

  She gives me a smile, one marred by her tears, and shrugs. “Yeah, I know. Even if it is freaking me out.”

  “It’s freaking me out, too, but it is what it is.” I rest my forehead against hers and look at her face. “You’re going to be okay, Kristel. You know you’re part of this family, and since Will’s betrayal, we’re tighter than ever. Which means I have a question I’d like to ask you. The timing is shit, but whatever.”

  Her smile grows, but she looks apprehensive. “If you’re going to ask me not to kill Debbie, don’t worry. I won’t. I might beat the shit out of her, though.”

  “There she is. The sass is back.” I kiss along her jaw and over to her ear. Her hands slide through my hair, and I sigh in relief at the sound of her breaths. She is much calmer now, though I know Kristel. It will likely take her a while to fully process everything that happened today. I only add one more thing because I need Kristel, and I need our baby. What happened today only solidifies that fact.

  I need to do it. I need to ask her.

  “Kristel… will you marry me?”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Kristel

  The silence that fills the room is heavy. I feel like I’m being compressed, and I’m glad I’m already on the floor or I might have fallen. My mind goes blank, and I feel like I can’t breathe. Why, of all days, is he asking me this now? I can’t think. I can’t even move.

  “Andre… I don’t know.”

  “Do you love me?”

  “Yes.” That answer comes quickly and without hesitation.

  “Then what else is there to know?”

  “I don’t know!” I put my face into my hands and press my forehead to his chest. My fingers clench in his shirt. “Why do you have to ask me this now, of all times? Couldn’t you have waited? Just a little longer?”

  “Why? Why wait? What is there to wait for? What are you afraid of, Kristel? It’s just you and me, and hell… we’re going to have a baby together. Look at everything else we’ve been through. Fucking hell and back. So I want to know… what, exactly, don’t you know?”

  “I just don’t!” With a loud sigh, I throw my hands up and give him a helpless look. “You want me to go through all of this shit and get engaged in a single day?”

  “Yes.” He nods and gives me a serious look. “Yes, I do. Because today is a day I wish was over. It’s fucked up and it’s unfair and horrible things keep happening. But we can change that. Kristel, I want to marry you, and it’s not just because today has been shit. It’s because I love you. I would lay my life down for you without a moment of thought, and I trust you more than I trust the rest of my crew, even though I feel like I still barely know you. I don’t know what your favorite food is or what your favorite color is. Honestly, I didn’t feel like I gave a shit about any of that until now. I don’t know who your real friends, are or how you see the world, or even why you’re going to college. I don’t know anything about what you want to do with your life,or if you have anything planned for it at all. But Ido know that I love you. And I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So, marry me, Kristel Bryce. I don’t even care if you keep your last name. But marry me.”

  I feel scattered and dumbfounded. This proposal has come out of nowhere, much like everything else has over the last several weeks. I’ve always known Andre to be a straight forward man who dislikes impulse, but maybe some of my spontaneity has rubbed off on him. I know that, because of him, I’m more clear-headed now than I ever have been before.

  “This is so crazy… absolutely insane…”

  “So was the woman who walked into a bar that night. Remember the one who wanted to show her parents that she could take care of herself? The one who wanted to be a rebel and get back at her mom and dad because they were being overbearing idiots? The one who has been carrying a baby, going to college, and dealing with biker shit for months without a single complaint. You’re tough and you’re beautiful… and just say fucking yes.”

  My heart pounds so hard in my chest that I can feel it in my throat. Al
l I can think about is my father, but before I can respond to Andre, my phone rings. I glance at it automatically and see my mother’s phone number. She couldn’t be calling at a worse time.

  “Shit.” With a thick swallow, I close my eyes and nod. “Please just… let me think about it. I can’t do this right now.” I try to move away from him again, but he holds onto me and shakes his head. As I give him a quick smile, I answer my phone. “Hello? Mom?”

  “Kristel! Oh my God, where are you?” She sounds panicked, but I don’t hear any traffic.

  “I’m safe. I’m okay.”

  “Are you back at the house?”

  “No, but I’m okay. Are you?”

  “Yes.” There is a short pause. “But your father…”