The Doctor Returns

by Stella MacLean

  Feeling content and relaxed, she drove home slowly, listening to a classical radio station, reliving the past few hours with Neill and his family, and then with her family. How different they were, yet how similar. Why did she worry so much about what people thought? If there was one thing she’d like to change, it was her need for acceptance, for proof that she was good enough. Was that where her need for perfection came from?

  Once in her driveway, she parked the car and sat there for a few moments while the announcer finished the weather report. It was going to be another sunny day tomorrow, and it made her think of Neill and whether they’d be able to spend time together. Obviously, it would depend on how things went with Morgan. In the quiet of her car, she gave in to her apprehension. Having Neill’s mother and Morgan arrive at the house had not only been embarrassing, it had brought back all her old feelings of inadequacy.

  She checked her watch and realized that it was getting late. Neill had promised to call her, but she hadn’t heard a word from him. She checked her cell phone. No missed calls and no text messages. Had something gone wrong?

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  AFTER HE DROVE Sherri home, Neill returned to his house, his thoughts clouded with worry. How was he going to explain to Morgan why Sherri had been at the house? Sure, he had a right to a personal life, and he wanted Morgan to know about Sherri and to share in the life he wanted for the three of them, but he’d never intended that it start off like this.

  Trying to avoid upsetting his daughter after her seizure, he’d kept his feelings and thoughts about Sherri to himself. He probably should have sat down and talked to Morgan about his life, about Sherri. Hadn’t Morgan shown an interest in his life when she brought up the fact that Tara had mentioned Sherri?

  He should have been more open. He realized that now. Morgan was a bright, intuitive child who needed the security of being part of what was going on, a child whose curiosity about life had brought her to the attention of the teachers back in Boston.

  As he drove down the shore road toward his house, he decided that he would start today, right now, and talk openly to his daughter. No more hiding behind the idea that telling her the truth about what was happening in his life might be too stressful, or that she wasn’t old enough to grasp the situation. She’d certainly grasped what was going on a short time ago.

  He’d put the barbecue on and make his special burgers, one of Morgan’s favorite meals. Then he’d answer all her questions, no matter how difficult or embarrassing.

  With that thought uppermost in his mind, he pulled into his driveway, noting that his mother’s car was still there as he’d expected. His mother had never really understood why Sherri and he had broken up, and he’d avoided talking about it, believing that somehow things would all work out between them.

  He pressed the garage door opener and eased into his parking space, careful not to get too close to the lawn mower. He closed the garage as he opened the door leading to the breezeway at the back of the kitchen.

  His mother met him at the door. “Oh, Neill. I was just about to call you. Morgan’s gone off somewhere.”

  “What do you mean?” he asked, placing his keys on the counter.

  “I sat down to read the paper, thinking she was in the family room. When I called out to her, she didn’t answer.”

  “Did you check her room?”

  “I did, but she’s not there.”

  “I’ll check. She wouldn’t have left the house. Did you look in the attic playroom?” he asked as he climbed the stairs and followed the hall down to his daughter’s room at the front of the house. When he opened the door, the room was empty, silent. His chest contracted in fear. “Morgan!” he yelled, striding down the hall to the stairs, ducking into the bathroom on his way past to be sure she wasn’t in the shower. Not there. He climbed the narrow stairs to the attic. The air was stifling as he opened the door to the large room that ran the length of the house. The room was eerily quiet.

  He raced down the two flights of stairs, going from room to room, his heart accelerating with every room he searched. She was nowhere to be found. Had she had another seizure? “Mom, did you call Tara?”

  “She couldn’t have gone over there on her own,” his mother replied, her voice radiating anxiety.

  He scooped up the phone, clicking on Tara’s number in the call list and waiting impatiently while it rang. “Mrs. Williams, I’m sorry to bother you, but is Morgan there?”

  “No. Tara is at gymnastics class, and I’m picking her up in about half an hour. Is Morgan missing?”

  “She was here a little while ago, and when I got back, she was gone.”

  “Was she there alone?”

  “No.” He saw the anguish in his mother’s eyes.

  “Can I help?” Tara’s mother asked.

  “No. I’m sure she’s just gone—”

  Through the window over the kitchen sink, he saw that the door of the barn was ajar. “I think I know where she is.”

  He went out the back door, across the lawn and into the garage, his mother following right behind him. “What is it, Neill?”

  “Morgan, are you in here?” he called, the warm air of the barn closing around him. “Morgan!”

  The door of the old tool room opened, and Morgan walked out. His heart leaped in relief. “You gave me an awful scare,” he accused, going to her and folding her into his embrace, happiness washing through him.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, her tone contrite.

  “I was worried sick,” her grandmother said, her shoulders slumping, her expression forlorn.

  Neill held out his arm, and his mother moved into his embrace. “We were both worried, but that’s all over.” He held his mother and his daughter close, thankful that he had them both in his life. “I came home prepared to make my world-famous burgers. Anyone interested?”

  “I’ll have two,” Morgan said.

  “I’d love to stay, but I have to do some baking for the church bake sale tomorrow. Maybe another time,” his mother said.

  “I’ll hold you to it.” Neill walked with the two of them out of the barn and closed the latch on the door, feeling the tension ease in his shoulders.

  “Call me later, will you?” his mother asked.

  “I will.”

  He and Morgan watched his mother go to her car and drive away.

  After they’d gone back in the house, Morgan turned to him. “Is she here?” she asked, then went straight to the fridge and took out a can of apple juice.

  “No, Sherri’s not here.”

  Morgan gripped the can of juice as the fridge door closed behind her. Snapping the tab, she took a sip. “I don’t see why you brought her here.”

  “Let me explain, Morgan.”

  “This had better be good, Dad.” She sat down at the table.

  He sighed as he sat down across from her in the awful chairs that Lilly had insisted they buy when they moved into their first house in Boston. The tabletop was glass, revealing chrome legs that sprawled out under the top, making it virtually impossible to sit comfortably. The chairs were all chrome and white faux leather with hard edges. He’d taken all their furniture from the house in Boston, hoping that by doing so, Morgan would feel less anxious, more at home in her new surroundings. Morgan needed as much of her life as possible to remain the same. He adjusted his long legs beneath the table, searching for a comfortable position. “I didn’t mean to have you meet Sherri under such awkward circumstances.”

  “Awkward? Dad, you and she were in bed together!”

  “Not quite.”

  “But you planned to be.”

  “And I’m sorry you had to walk in on that, but what happened earlier doesn’t change the fact that Sherri and I are... We care for each other.”

  “You just met her. We’ve o
nly been here a few months. How can you have sex with a woman in our house when you don’t even know her? What about me? What about how I feel?”

  “Morgan, I want you and Sherri to get to know each other. You’ll like her, I promise.”

  “I want her out of our lives. She doesn’t belong here with us. I need you, Dad. When we moved here, you said that we’d have lots of time together, not like it was in Boston. You promised me that you’d be home more, not at the hospital all the time. You never told me you’d be up in your bedroom with some woman when I came home from school,” she said, her voice rising, her eyes glistening.

  He wanted to hug her close and tell her that everything would be all right, but Morgan was too smart to be fooled by platitudes. “You’re right. I did promise that we would be able to spend more time together after we moved here. I also promised you that you’d get to know your grandmother and make new friends, and you have,” he said, feeling so inadequate in the face of his daughter’s angry scrutiny.

  “So what’s this woman hanging around you for?”

  “Morgan, it’s time I explained something to you.”

  Morgan took a long drink from her juice, her eyes angry as she placed the can near the center of the table. “This had better be the truth,” she muttered.

  He ignored the tone and the bravado his daughter exhibited. He understood what was going on with her. She was angry, and she had a right to be. But she also needed to hear what was going on in his life, as he had no intention of giving up Sherri. “Sherri and I knew each other in high school. We started out as best friends, and the more we got to see of each other, the more we wanted to spend time together. She was so smart and outgoing and I was shy, not athletic like you. I didn’t have many friends.”

  “Dad, the nerd,” Morgan offered, a smile twitching the corners of her mouth.

  “Yeah, your dad was a nerd. Probably still is. Sherri was popular and funny, and she really liked me, much to my surprise.”

  “Did you date back then?”

  “Yes, we dated our last year of high school. And when it came time to decide what we’d do with our lives, we decided that I would be a doctor and she would be a nurse. We’d set up practice somewhere around here, and we’d have a family and build a house together.”

  “Dad! That’s so old-fashioned. Did you really think you’d be together forever? No one does that anymore.”

  “When did you get so cynical?”

  “It’s real life. No one expects to stay together. Mom says that people change and so do their feelings, so it’s not reasonable that two people would stay married forever.”

  He wanted to strangle Lilly right about then. What a harsh thing to tell a daughter struggling to accept her new life without both parents. But had he done any better? “Yes, things can change, and people can grow apart. And it’s also true that sometimes when you least expect it, you can rediscover someone.”

  “And fall in love again, you mean?”

  “Sure. Why not?”

  Morgan shrugged and chewed her lip. “I will never figure you adults out. You’re always screwing up.”

  “Morgan!”

  “Well, it’s the truth. Every one of my friends has at least one parent that’s a nutcase. No one gets to go home and just hang out because there’s always someone upset or unhappy. My friend Kirsten—her mom takes tranquilizers. Did you know that?”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “Well she does. I’ve seen the bottle of pills. Kirsten showed it to me.” Morgan reached for the juice can and twirled it in her fingers, then took a quick sip and returned it to the center of the table. “I suppose now you’re going to tell me that Sherri’s life is a total mess and you want to help her, right?”

  “No, that’s not it at all. Don’t talk like that.”

  “Why not? It’s reality, Dad.”

  “Well, it probably is for some people, but not for you and me. And not for Sherri.”

  “If you say so.” Morgan looked at him doubtfully.

  “I’d like you to meet her under different circumstances than today.”

  “Well, don’t expect me to like her.”

  “I like her.”

  “How much?” she asked, defiance shining in her eyes.

  Did he dare tell his daughter the rest of the story? And if he did, how would she take it? But hadn’t he decided that he’d tell her the whole truth? “When I moved from here to Boston, I was in love with her.”

  “And what about now?”

  “We’re getting to know each other again.” Why had he said that? He wanted his daughter to share in his happiness. “No, that’s not the complete truth. We still love each other. We probably always have.”

  “You married Mom and had me while you loved someone else?”

  “No, that’s not true. I loved your mother very much in the beginning.”

  “But you don’t love Mom now, right?”

  How could a nine-year-old be this mature? Was that what happened to children of divorced parents? “No, I don’t love your mom anymore. I care about her, and I’m glad she’s your mother, but sometimes love doesn’t last.”

  “Why?”

  “I wish I knew, sweetie.”

  Her intense gaze remained focused on him. “Then I don’t get it. How could you still love this woman?”

  Not knowing what to say and seeing the anxiety in her eyes, he came around the table and knelt down next to Morgan. “I know it’s complicated, but sometimes life is just that. Complicated.” He put his hand over hers where it rested on the table. “I want you to understand that regardless of my feelings for Sherri, I love you, and I will always love you.”

  “How do you know? Lots of people fall out of love, and into love for that matter,” she said, her eyes searching his while she sat perfectly still.

  “Because my love for you is completely different from any love I feel for Sherri, or the love I once felt for your mom. You’re my daughter, and that will never change. We will never stop being a part of each other’s life. Just like it is between your grandmother and me. Although I went away to college, became a doctor and then moved back here, Mom never stopped loving me, and I never stopped loving her. That kind of love goes on forever.”

  “But I know kids who say they don’t love their parents. Does that mean their parents don’t love them?”

  He stared at his daughter. “Have you been thinking about this a lot lately?”

  “Yes, Dad. All kids think about this.”

  He sighed, his hand still on hers. “Sometimes our love for one another gets messed up with other painful things going on in our lives. When that happens, love can get buried in the troubles a parent or a child might be going through.”

  Relieved to see the look of understanding in Morgan’s eyes, he pulled her into his arms and held her close. “Face it, kid,” he growled as he hugged her. “We’ll always be together.”

  She laughed, a deep belly laugh, and hugged him back. “Dad, I’m hungry.”

  “I am, too,” he said, relieved that Morgan seemed to be okay, that he’d handled the situation the best he could. Still, it had been a close call—the look in his daughter’s eyes had told him that.

  “And by the way, what were you doing in the barn?” he said, happy to have made it through the conversation without a major upset.

  “Did you know that the place is filled with stuff for building things? There are saws and hammers and a table with a saw in it.”

  “Morgan, you didn’t touch any of it, did you? You could hurt yourself.”

  She gave him an exaggerated frown. “Of course not. Are you going to take up woodworking?”

  He’d been so excited to find the property for sale that he’d only given the barn a cursory glance. “I hadn’t planned to.”

&nbs
p; “I’ve got an idea. Let’s have a yard sale and clean out the barn. It would make a great place for me and my friends to hang out. What do you think, Dad?”

  “You’re brilliant. We’ll start on it next weekend. Get it cleaned out and go from there.”

  Morgan gave him a high five. “Cool.”

  “Now it’s time to fire up the barbecue.”

  “I’ll help you make the patties.”

  He’d assembled all the ingredients for his burger recipe when he remembered he hadn’t called Sherri. Damn! He scooped up the phone and dialed her number. She answered on the first ring. “Sorry for not calling you sooner,” he said.

  “How did it go?”

  He glanced around, relieved to see that Morgan was not in the kitchen. “We talked, and she seems okay,” he said tentatively, still not 100 percent sure that Morgan understood how serious he was about Sherri.

  “Well, I’m relieved Morgan knows about us and how we feel about each other.”

  “She does.”

  He could hear her sigh and wished he were there with her. “While you were talking with Morgan, I had dinner with my mom and Linda. We had a great time, and I feel so much better about everything. Do you really think it’s our turn for happiness?”

  “I definitely do.”

  “Will I see you after my shift tomorrow?”

  “We can have dinner over here,” he affirmed as Morgan came through the back door. “The other woman in my life just appeared. Talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you, too,” he said.

  “Was that Sherri?” Morgan asked as he hung up the phone.

  “Yes.”

  “You said you loved her,” Morgan said, her voice low as she came toward him.

  “I do love her.”

  Morgan swerved away from him. “Love is so dumb.”

  “Wait until you fall in love and we’ll see if you still feel the same way.”

  She gave him a sideways glance. “I’ll never understand old people.”

  “I’m not old,” he protested, and then he saw the silly smile on her face.