In Her Hands

by Rebekah Blackmore

  Amy shook her head slowly, yawning and rubbing her eyes again before answering. “She isn’t allergic to anything, and she’s healthy.” Her eyes began to drift shut again. “She’s a good girl.”

  Ronnie smiled at Amy’s repetitiveness and scribbled down “none” on the paper under allergies and health concerns. “Is there anything else we need to know about her? Emergency contact? Her father, maybe? Grandparents?”

  “Her father was just a number, and my ex isn’t in the picture anymore. My parents live about an hour away, but I can put them down. My brother, too. He is just down the road.” She slid down in the seat, putting her head in her hand again. She began to nod off before she raised her head, holding her hand out for the pen. “I guess I need to sign?”

  “Yes, please.”

  Amy took the pen and scribbled down her phone number, address, and Morrison's information before handing the clipboard and pen back to Ronnie. “There you go. Is it fine if I go back to sleep, now? I didn’t sleep at all once I left here last night.”

  “Of course you can. I’ll come back and check on Tommy a little while later.” She tucked the clipboard under her arm and started walking back out to the hallway. She paused when she reached the doorway, turning around to see if there was anything that Amy needed, but the woman was already fast asleep, her chin down nearly to her chest and her hair hanging limply.

  Ronnie couldn’t help but smile as she turned around and left the room.

  4

  “You know, for how little this girl is, she’s a spitfire of energy,” Tiffany said, bouncing Morrison on her hip as she scribbled down something on the clipboard. The toddler was reaching out towards Ronnie, but that was much more likely due to the stuffed cow in her hand than it was any actual desire for the nurse. Ronnie began to hand the girl the animal, but she shook her head and continued to reach out. Ronnie pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow in confusion, but accepted the toddler over the gate.

  Tiffany raised an eyebrow, too. “She hasn’t let anyone other than me pick her up since you dropped her off,” she said, popping her knuckles before brushing her hand through the hair of a young boy clinging to her leg. She grabbed an applesauce squeeze tube off the shelf next to her and handed one to the boy before opening a second tube and handing it to Morrison. Morrison happily accepted the treat before snuggling back into Ronnie’s side. “Any update on when she’s going to be picked up? I’m off in a half-hour, and you know how Martha is with times.” She made a face.

  Ronnie laughed. Martha had been working at the hospital nearly as long as Ronnie had, and she was a force to be reckoned with. She was in her late fifties, and had seven children of her own. She manned the nursery with a minute-by-minute schedule, putting each child down for nap two hours after their arrival and feeding them their last meal exactly thirty minutes before they were due to be picked up. “Well, they took Tommy in for surgery about an hour ago, so I’d assume she’d be out of here by eight or nine, depending on if her mom is staying the night here or at home.”

  Tiffany nodded. “All right.” She held her arms out to take the toddler back. Morrie shook her head and held her cow close, tightening her legs around Ronnie’s hip. Tiffany stretched out over the gate and put her hands under Morrison's armpits, lifting her gently. “Come on, little miss, Ronnie has to get back to work so that you can get back to your mommy and brother, all right?” She lifted her the rest of the way off Ronnie, moving quickly so that Morrison didn’t have the opportunity to grab on to the nurse again. Tiffany winked at Ronnie before turning and walking towards the far end of the alcove, giving Ronnie a chance to escape.

  Ronnie shook her head and made her way back in to the main part of the day room, a small smile on her face. She couldn’t help but be surprised at how quickly the small girl had grown attached to her, especially since their interaction had been so brief.

  Regardless, the part that Ronnie loved the most about her job was the children, and she couldn’t help but sit down with a few of them and see how their day had been going whenever she had the opportunity.

  It seemed today was her lucky day, and several of the children were in the day room. Timothy, Kara, and Anna were sitting together at a table with a pile of yarn in front of them, and two of the younger children, plus Allen, were sitting with them, doing their best to make their finger-weavings as tight and shapely as the older children had. There were clips of yarn all over the floor, little pops of color that littered the gray linoleum like confetti.

  When Allen saw Ronnie, his face lit up. He held his hand up, excitedly holding out the hot-pink yarn that he had begun to add to the lime green and blue God's eye he had been working on. “Look, Ronnie! Briony’s room is going to be so pretty!”

  The God's eye was a little wonky, but Ronnie could see how much work Allen had put into making his baby sister something nice. “That looks great!” she said, reaching out and taking the yarn in her hand. “You’re doing such a great job!”

  Allen nodded excitedly. “Timmy helped me with it.” He beamed at the older boy before going back to his yarn. “Timmy’s amazing.”

  Timothy blushed and stared at the table bashfully. He had been in the hospital several times over the last year (he was born diabetic, and his disease wasn’t easily controlled—he was in at least once every other month to remedy a roller-coaster of his blood sugar levels), and he had never been comfortable with praise. Even when nurses or doctors were talking to him about how strong he was being, he would turn red and avert his eyes.

  Regardless, Ronnie smiled at him. “Good job, Timothy.”

  Timothy nodded, looking away from the table to look at the floor. “Thanks.”

  Ronnie looked at the girls. “What about you two? How are you holding up?”

  Kara shrugged. “I Skyped with my parents this morning. My sister’s dance team won first place.” She, like Timothy, looked down at the table, but her expression was one of jealousy. Kara had been a dancer, too, until her digestive system had unexpectedly shut down. Kara was always on the thin side, so her family failed to notice her losing weight and growing weaker until Kara fell during a competition and shattered both her left leg and her right arm.

  Kara's parents rushed her to the hospital, and when they got there, they were alerted to the cacophony that were her nutrient levels. The doctors had done everything that they could to get her back to the normal, healthy girl that she had been a few months prior, but they had not been successful, and Kara was given a feeding tube. Fortunately, she was able to still attend school and spend time with her family like any other child, but an infection that had made its way through the tube a month prior landed Kara back in the hospital for an undetermined amount of time.

  Ronnie tried to reach out and put a hand on Kara’s shoulder, but Kara shrugged her off. Ronnie then turned her attention to Anna, but Anna, it seemed, had managed to fall asleep in the last thirty seconds. Ronnie chuckled and went around behind her, shaking her lightly before wrapping an arm around her back and standing her up. Anna startled awake, but she almost immediately began to nod off again.

  “Come on, sweetheart, stay awake for a few more minutes so I can get you back to your bed,” Ronnie urged, gently turning and walking the girl back to her room. She could hear one of the other children coming over to the table and taking Anna’s place, but the way she had the girl positioned against her side prevented her from turning and seeing who it was.

  Because of Anna’s drowsy state, it took several minutes for Ronnie to make it down the hall to Anna’s room. She was nearly dragging the girl by the time she saw was done, her breath coming out in pants. She used her free hand to pull back the sheets, pushing them down to the end before she clicked a button to lower the sidebar of the bed. She turned and gently pressed Anna’s into the bed before lifting her legs and placing her on her side. Anna had sleep apnoea, so Ronnie set up the breathing apparatus and situated it over the girl’s mouth and nose before pulling the blankets up to her chin. She made sur
e that Anna’s vitals were still good and that she didn’t need anything else before flipping the lights off and cracking the door.

  Ronnie looked around for Anna's nurse, Laci. She could see her sitting at the nurses station, staring intently at the computer screen in front of her. Her purple-and-blonde braids were hanging over her shoulder and piling on the keyboard. There was an office chair a little ways away from the desk, so Ronnie did her best to walk quietly towards the desk before jumping on the chair and pushing herself off the wall and straight into Laci’s distracted form.

  Laci shrieked at the collision, her hands flying up protectively as she fell off the chair and hit the ground. Ronnie burst out laughing, her loose ponytail falling in her face as she shook with mirth. Laci glared. “Really, Ronnie? Was that necessary?”

  “Hey, I told you that you’re too focused.” She winked, and Laci stuck her tongue out at her. Ronnie wheeled her chair over and held her hand out to pull Laci back up. Laci took her hand, but while she let Ronnie begin to raise her, as soon as her hips were an inch off the ground she grinned and pulled Ronnie down on top of her.

  Ronnie yelped and landed on Laci’s leg, laughing again when Laci tried to push her off. Soon, the girls were playfully pushing each other back and forth while they struggled to get up, each keeping the other down.

  “Come on, ladies, stop flirting, we got a job to do,” a voice came from the other side of the station. Ronnie and Laci looked up to see one of their fellow nurses, a young man named Darius, smirking at them and writing down something on his own clipboard.

  Laci pushed herself off the ground first, and she stuck her tongue out at Darius, too, before reaching down and pulling Ronnie to her feet. “You’re one to be talking, Darius. How is Michael, hmmm? Is his daughter happy to be out of our ward?” She raised an eyebrow and gave him a pointed look before making a face at Ronnie. “Besides, Ronnie is marrying a man, remember? She’s too straight to be one of us.”

  “Mmm, right. You know, you’d think all those late nights at gay bars would put a little bit of sense into her, but I guess not.” Darius clicked his tongue and winked. “You and Kenny, man, a match made in heaven.” He spread his fingers in an explosive motion.

  Ronnie rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” She made a face at Darius before shaking her head, remembering why she came to find Laci in the first place. “Anna fell asleep in the day room, so I got her back to her room and got her sleep-apnoea machine all set up. Her vitals are good.” She glanced down at her watch and shook her head. “Okay, I’m going to see if Ms. Vascar needs anything, then I’m going down for something to drink. Do either of you want anything?”

  Darius shook his head, leaning down over the top of the nurses’ station and grabbing a bottle of Mountain Dew from one of the shelves. “Nope. I got my energy right here.” He held it up in a “cheers” motion before lowering it, unscrewing the top and taking a large gulp. He took such a large gulp, in fact, that he managed to choke on the liquid, coughing and spewing it all over his hands and his shirt.

  Ronnie snorted and nodded. “All right, so another Mountain Dew for you. Laci?”

  “Tea, please? That yummy one that you got me last time?”

  Ronnie nodded. She had become good friends with a few of the baristas in the coffee bar near the entrance to the hospital, and had managed to get a few of them to come up with a tea selection especially for her. “On it.” She leaned over the counter herself and grabbed a wad of tissues, which she handed to Darius with a smirk. He made a face back, taking the tissues and lightly pushing her away with his fingertips.

  Ronnie couldn’t help but bite back a laugh as she turned away from her friends and colleagues, rubbing her hands together and fixing her hair before walking in the direction of Tommy Vascar’s room. She expected Amy to anxiously pacing the room, something that most parents did while their children were in surgery, but she found the woman surprisingly calm, sitting in the chair near Tommy’s bed and staring out the window, a cup of coffee in her hands and a book of word-searches on her lap. She was holding a retractable highlighter in her hand, the tip of it barely resting against her cheek as she clicked it open and shut.

  Ronnie knocked on the door frame and cleared her throat, causing Amy to jump, the chiseled tip of the highlighter drawing a thick stripe of purple across her cheek. She looked at the marker in confusion for a moment before lowering it to her lap, blinking up at Ronnie. “Hi,” she said after a moment, her voice thick and rough from several hours of silence. She coughed and took a sip of her coffee before making a face, wrinkling her nose as she swallowed and put the cup down on the tray attached to the bed.

  “Cold coffee?” Ronnie asked, walking over to Amy and leaning against the wall next to the window. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned her foot and shoulder blades against the wall.

  Amy nodded. “Yeah.” She grimaced as her voice came out raspy again. She picked up the coffee cup and took another sip, shaking her head and sticking her tongue out when the taste hit her taste buds. “God, that stuff is awful.” She stood up and walked over to the trashcan, throwing the cup away before walking over to where her purse was hanging and pulling out a bottle of water.

  “Did you get it from the coffee bar or did you get it from the machine in the lobby?” The look on Amy’s face gave Ronnie her answer. Ronnie laughed. “You didn’t know that there was a coffee bar, did you?” Amy shook her head. Ronnie smiled at her. “I was about to head on down there, myself. Would you like to join me?”

  Amy hesitated for a moment before smiling back. “I’d like that.” She held her hand out toward the door. Ronnie pushed herself off the wall and walked out of the room, Amy close behind her.

  They walked through the children’s ward in silence, but once they had reached the elevator in the main hallway, Amy asked, “So, what made you want to become a pediatric nurse?”

  Ronnie thought about it for a moment before responding. “Honestly, I wanted to do something different than my parents wanted me to do. They always thought that being a nurse was a ‘filthy job,’ and that a good wife and mother ‘wouldn’t work such long hours so that she could be there for her children’.”

  “Oh. I didn’t realize that you have children. How old are they?”

  “I don’t. That’s the point.” Ronnie shrugged. “After I started taking the classes, though, I realized I was pretty good at the things I was learning, and I was actually really enjoying myself. I thought I wanted to work in an emergency room or a trauma unit until I started doing my clinical rotations, though, and I knew after I did a few months here that I wanted to work in the pediatric ward, which is weird because, you know, I don’t actually know if I want children.”

  “Interesting.”

  The ladies stepped into the elevator, and Ronnie hit the button for the ground floor. The elevator doors closed, and it only took a few seconds before Ronnie and Amy were walking out of the elevator and towards the coffee bar. Bethany, the girl who ran the bar, was leaning against the counter, tapping her long, neon-green nails against the plastic, pursing her lips and making clicking noises with her lips. When she saw Ronnie and Amy, she straightened up and smiled at them.

  “Hey, Ronnie. Is this just for you today or do some of your coworkers want something, too?” She twirled a strand of auburn hair around her finger, tucking her other hand under her elbow.

  Ronnie snickered. “Three of the normal, Bethany . . . but if you want to give Laci a little something extra, I won’t tease too much, I promise.” She winked.

  Bethany blushed and looked down, grabbing a cup and filling it full of ice before mixing a few of the flavors of tea. She swirled the flavors together and added a pump of liquid sugar. “Laci liked the pomegranate one the best, right? I mean . . . not that I care, I just . . . I, uh, want to make sure I'm making the right orders.”

  “Mhm, sure you do.” Ronnie raised an eyebrow teasingly.

  Bethany’s cheeks, somehow, turned even red
der. She put the lid on Ronnie’s drink and passed it to her before handing her a bottle of Mountain Dew and a large cup of the pomegranate-hibiscus tea. She put Ronnie’s information in the system before looking over at Amy. “I’m sorry, I should have helped you first. Is there something particular that you would like?”

  Amy looked over the menu for a moment before shaking her head, smiling at Ronnie. “You know, just give me whatever she’s having.”

  Ronnie raised her eyebrow again, only this time, it was in confusion. “You don’t even know what that drink is,” she reminded her, tilting her cup towards Amy before taking a sip, humming as the tang of the orange tea and the sweetness of the passion juice washed over her tongue.

  “So? You recommended the coffee bar, so I might as well take your word for the best drink, too. I think I’ll trust your judgment.” She smiled again before looking back at Bethany, who shrugged and starting making the drink. Once it was finished, she swirled the cup like she had with Ronnie’s and handed it over. Amy took a sip, her eyes lighting up and a smile breaking across her cheeks. “I definitely trust your judgment.”

  5

  The days flew past, and soon, nearly two months had gone by before Ronnie knew what had happened.

  When she finally had a day off and nothing to do, all Ronnie wanted to do was sleep in and watch bad movies while lounging on her couch. Her mother, however, had a different idea, and forced Ronnie to attend a luncheon with her and Natasha. She had selected a pricey restaurant with an incredibly formal dress code, complete with valet parking and waiters in pressed tuxes. It took Ronnie almost two hours to find something to wear, and even then, her very best clothes were below her mother’s materialistic standards.

  “Is that really the best that you could do, Veronica? The shape of the dress I can ignore, but florals?” Patricia waved her hand at Ronnie’s dress, scrunching up her nose and pursing her lips. “You look like a child in that thing.”