Love Online (Truly Yours Digital Editions)

by Nancy Toback

  Smiling, Jess dropped the dryer on the bed and dashed to the front door.

  ❧

  Tom adjusted the knot in his tie, then picked up his suit jacket off the bed. He glanced at the phone again. “Nope.” As much as he loved Jess, his days of pursuing her with undying patience had come to an end. Love had to be mutual, or it bordered on pitiful. Time to move on.

  He strode to the front door and grabbed his car keys off the hook. His hammering heart disagreed with him. No surprise. But the truth had set him free. Free enough to carry on a nice chat in Instant Message last night with Linda—also known as Lab711.

  Tom locked the front door, then proceeded down the long, carpeted hallway. Second thoughts made him hesitate at the waiting elevator. But he groaned and stepped inside. If he intended to make a go of it with another woman, he’d have to quit harboring hope for him and Jess. His sixteen-year trek had dragged him over rough terrain—from starry-eyed schoolboy to thirty-two-year-old prisoner of hope.

  Tom exited the elevator into the parking garage under his building. No sense feeling guilty. He’d done nothing wrong. If Jess wanted a ride to church, she could’ve called him or she could ask the doorman to hail her a cab.

  Sitting behind the steering wheel of his vehicle, Tom shook his head. One word from Jess that this was her favorite truck, and he’d run out and bought one. Pathetic. He’d been so blind he’d let himself believe that, once Jess reached her career goals, her eyes would open to discover romantic possibilities with him.

  Tom shifted into drive, headed out from the gloom of the underground garage, and squinted at the bright morning greeting him.

  Men had done crazier things in the name of love. How about Samson? Now there was a guy who’d learned a lesson or two on where to set the bar when it came to the opposite sex.

  Blowing out a long breath, Tom grimaced. In all fairness to Jess, she was no Delilah. Jess had a good heart. She’d been dealt her share of problems. And allowing herself to fall in love with him would be tantamount, in her mind, to betraying her father.

  According to Jess’s dad, Dean, he was the only one who could be trusted with his daughter. Tom grinned. Talk about a left-handed compliment if ever he’d heard one. Though he had been a willing victim, not seeing himself as victimized at all, as long as he got to spend time with Jess.

  But Jessica Stewart no longer needed tender loving care—at least not the brand he offered. She was a grown woman. A beautiful, successful woman, who didn’t require coddling.

  Tom pulled the truck into a spot in the church’s gravel parking lot. He cut the engine and looked up to see Frank heading toward him. Opening the door of the truck, Tom nodded a greeting.

  “Where’s Jessica?” Frank leaned sideways to peek into the cab of the truck.

  Tom hopped out, closed the door, and pressed the key chain to set the alarm. “Not with me.” His sarcastic tone would no doubt give rise to Frank’s suspicions.

  “A lover’s quarrel?” Frank quirked his dark brows. As they headed in the direction of the front entrance, his smile slowly disintegrated.

  Tom shook his head. “Sorry, but I can’t joke about this yet.” He’d never be able to joke about losing Jess.

  “Nah. I’ve got a big mouth. Ignore.” Frank clapped his hand to his shoulder. “And here’s Jess now,” he said between clenched teeth.

  Tom’s jaw grew taut as Jess breezed toward him. He took in the color of her dress, setting off the clear blue of her eyes. At her tentative smile, he made an effort to recall the pep talk he’d given himself this morning. He approached as the new Tom—no longer a prisoner of hope. “Morning, Jess.” He returned her smile as Frank made a hasty retreat up the church steps.

  “Hi. What happened to you this morning?”

  “You could’ve called me if you needed a ride, you know.”

  Her perfectly arched brows rose in what seemed like surprise. “Oh, well, in any case, Marilyn came by to pick me up.” Jess glanced over her shoulder. “She went in the side door.” She cleared her throat. “You know, to bring the kids to the nursery.”

  Tom nodded. “That’s nice.” He ran a quick gaze over her face. His heart had to be oozing admiration all over his sleeve. “But you could’ve called me if you needed a ride.” Hadn’t he said that before? He looked down, focusing on the cement steps, but Jess’s scent alone was enough to force him down on one knee.

  “Well.” Jess laughed. “You usually call me. I–I didn’t know what was going on with you since. . .”

  Tom lifted his gaze to her. “Since?” He tilted his head but couldn’t break the code on her unreadable expression. Seized by an insane desire to reach out and touch her, he clamped his hands behind his back.

  “You know what I mean. I thought, now that you’re seeing Heather—”

  Tom laughed. A nervous reaction to her show of jealousy.

  Jess shot him a wide-eyed look of indignation. “What’s so funny?” Her shoulders straightened in a defensive posture.

  “I’m not dating Heather.” Tom tugged at the knot in his tie. “I would’ve thought you knew my type by now.”

  “Well, that’s fine too. I didn’t want to come between—” Jess ascended another step. “Some people don’t understand that men and women can be friends.” She smiled.

  Tom’s heart made a rapid descent to the sidewalk. He had been one of those people. “That’s right. Some people don’t.” Just the kick in the head he needed to get on with his new life. Could the Lord show him any more clearly?

  They walked past the outer doors together, moving through the sanctuary and greeting friends as they headed toward the third row, center aisle. To Jess, this was business as usual. Anything more came from his overactive imagination.

  Settling into his seat, Tom slanted her a glance. “I met an interesting woman on the Internet.”

  “Did you?” Staring straight ahead, Jess nodded slowly. “So you joined the Christian dating service after all?” She turned, facing him fully, her eyes darkening. “The one you told me not to join?”

  “Yes, but it’s different for”—you, he was tempted to say—“some women.”

  “Wh–what?” Jess leaned forward, looking like a rocket ready for blastoff. The middle-aged man sitting to her right gave Tom a shrug that said, “Don’t look at me.”

  “We’d better save this conversation for another time.” Tom directed his attention to the elderly redhead standing at the pulpit. She’d been making the announcements every Sunday for the past several years, but her name refused to register in his addled brain.

  “Yes, we’ll talk later. In fact, why don’t we go to Flavors for dessert after the service?”

  Jess’s tone struck as the calm before the storm. But he could do worse than some alone time with Jess.

  Six

  Jess hefted her purse strap to her shoulder and edged out of the pew behind Tom. If only she hadn’t told Marilyn on the ride to church not to wait for her after the service. But she couldn’t have anticipated then how much she would need her friend’s shoulder now and a hefty dose of her humor.

  Following Tom up the aisle, Jess collided smack-dab against his solid back. She blinked, quickly registering that he’d stopped to shake hands with the music minister. “Sorry,” she whispered.

  Tom glanced over his shoulder and smiled, sending unwelcome flutters to her stomach.

  Jess opened her mouth to announce she wouldn’t be going to Flavors with him, but the youth leader had diverted his attention.

  Somewhere between the praise songs and the preaching, Tom’s news had hit full force. He’d met an interesting woman on the Internet. His casual statement, accompanied by a guiltless smile, had echoed in her mind, gnawing a hole in the pit of her stomach even as her Bible lay open on her lap. An innocent bystander would never have guessed Tom had tried to thwart her plans. A knot grew in her throat.

  But she had to ponder the good. The sermon had forced her to reexamine her motives for wanting to go to Flavors wi
th Tom. She had hoped pleasant chitchat over coffee would prove to him his antics didn’t phase her. But her plan looked foolish in the light of the truth of Scripture. After all, in his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. And He was certainly determining hers at the moment.

  As Pastor Rob had read from the book of Colossians, “ ‘Bear with each other. . .forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you,’ ” her heart made a swift turnaround.

  Pretending Tom’s offense hadn’t cut to the core would accomplish nothing. Unforgiveness had no place in a Christian’s life, even though Tom had thrown a fit when she’d brought up online dating. He just hadn’t applied the same standards to himself—nor to this interesting woman.

  Jess felt heat rising to her face. Her lips quivered at the thought of telling Tom she had joined Love Online and she had plans for her own first date. She gripped her purse handle tighter. He’d only think her desperate. Mystery was so much more appealing than the known. Did Internet Woman stir excitement in Tom, while her familiar face forced a yawn?

  Scanning the back of his golden-brown head, her gaze dropped to the perfectly tailored suit stretching across his broad shoulders. Internet Woman would probably fall head over heels for Tom’s great looks, even before she got a glimpse into his loving heart.

  Jess clamped her jaw. The shuffle-stop pace toward the exit set her pulse to thudding in her ears. While Tom exchanged friendly banter, she hid behind the canvas of his dark blue suit jacket, though her shield was the source of the frown pulling at her face.

  At the sound of street noises wafting through the open church doors, Jess swept aside her disjointed thoughts. Now was not the time to ramble. She groped for one strong, coherent sentence to articulate the basis for her anger, but her chaotic emotions tangled with random words like so much kite string, cutting off her ability to think straight.

  They descended the steps, and Jess found herself standing face-to-face on the sidewalk with him. Shirring up for a confession, she took a deep breath and pinned back her shoulders.

  Tom’s sugary-brown gaze met hers full force, trapping the air in her lungs. A slight breeze ruffled his thick hair. A hint of his cologne, like freshly sliced limes, washed over her, somehow diluting the strength of her convictions.

  Tom rested his strong hands on her shoulders and smiled.

  Jess swallowed past the sudden dryness in her throat. Her lips parted, but her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth.

  “Do you want to walk or take the truck?” Tom brushed back the windblown hair tickling her cheek. He tilted his head, his smile fading. “What’s wrong, Jess?”

  She broke eye contact with him and summoned her voice. “I–I think it’s best if I go straight home.” Alone in her nest, she could sift through her baffling emotions, uncover the basis for the tears pricking the backs of her eyes. Not here. Not now.

  Tom ran his hands over her shoulders to her bare upper arms. He pulled her to him, or she went willingly, and he gave her a little shake that merely said, “Old chum.”

  Jess drew back, but her attempt at indifference left her a limp noodle in his grasp. In her mind’s eye, she saw a rogue chef break into her kitchen and spike a perfect recipe with a strange ingredient. Their friendship tasted of something unfamiliar, knocking her senses off-kilter.

  Tom grinned. “Come on. Let’s talk about it.”

  Jess’s mouth tugged upward in an involuntary smile. She stiffened, only to feel her silly grin growing, reaching her eyes. “I don’t know why I’m smiling.” Indeed she’d gone from foot-stomping mad to battling some nameless thing flowing between them—all in the space of a minute. Even her wacky sense of humor didn’t account for her wild responses to him this morning. She needed to get a grip—and fast.

  “It’s a nice day.” Tom glanced skyward. “Maybe we should walk?”

  Jess shrugged—suddenly Miss Wishy-Washy in the flesh—the type of woman Mrs. Gunther warned the high school seniors not to become when faced with temptation.

  Tom continued gazing down at her, while her noisy thoughts rivaled the congested traffic on Second Avenue.

  Jess pulled in a shaky breath. No temptation existed here. Mrs. Gunther tried to keep the girls from falling prey to the wrong types of men. “Predators,” she had called them. “Handsome. Charming.” She’d usually pause at this juncture. “If you’re swept off your feet, you just might find yourselves squarely on your bottoms.”

  Biting back a grin, Jess met Tom’s gaze head on. He definitely possessed the qualities Mrs. Gunther had warned them about, but handsome and charming did not a predator make.

  Tom smiled, tripping her pulse and sobering her. She cleared her throat. “I think it’s best if we skip coffee and talk right here.”

  Tom pursed his lips, slipped his hands into his trouser pockets, and shrugged. “Okay, Jess—shoot.”

  She cleared her throat. “It’s just that I never want anything to ruin our friendship, Tom—”

  “Neither do I.” A line formed between his brows, then quickly disappeared.

  “Okay, then—I have to let you know I’m angry with you about the Internet thing.” She crossed her arms over her midsection, waiting for logic to slow her racing pulse.

  “I see.” Tom scrubbed his hand across his jaw. “I noticed a change in you after I mentioned—” He dipped his chin and assessed her with narrowed eyes. “Are you angry because I met a woman online?”

  “What?” Jess spat the word. Her nails bit deeper into the flesh of her arms. “Is that what you think? That I’m jealous?”

  “I don’t know.” Tom shrugged. “That’s how it looked to me.”

  The wind kicked up. Jess shoved her hair back from her face. Glimpsing her wild-woman reflection in a store’s glass window, she tried to smile, without success. “I’m not upset that you met a woman. Believe me. It’s how you met her.”

  Tom glanced over his shoulder. “How was I supposed to meet her? What is acceptable in Jess’s dating rules for me?”

  Jess cringed inwardly. She was speaking too loud. Closing her eyes, she waited for calm to kick in. Even in the face of cranky, unreasonable customers, she could always depend on her self-control. Yet here she was, a hissing steam kettle ready to blow. “The Internet is fine by me. Remember? But when I brought it up, you made me feel. . .” Idiotic. Desperate. She tilted her chin. “Why is it a valid option for you?”

  Tom ran his gaze over her face slowly. “I see your point.”

  Jess held her breath. He knew her better than any human rightfully should. Perhaps the question hidden in her heart crept into her eyes, screaming, Why have you changed?

  “It is a valid option, okay? I don’t know who you’ll meet online, and I made a promise to your father. I’m not throwing you into the lion’s den. Besides, since when are you desperate to meet someone?”

  Jess planted a hand on her hip. “I’m free to do as I please, and what you promised my father is not my concern.” Tom stepped back, but she continued like a freight train out of control, her chest heaving. “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, and I signed up for Love Online. So, while you’re seeing Internet Woman, I’ll be seeing Internet Man.” Jess pulled in a long breath. “And I hope he’s a Ben Affleck look-alike.”

  “You know, you are stubborn to a fault.”

  “Yeah? Well, have fun with Internet Woman.” Jess bit her quivering lip. I hope she’s Quasimodo in a dress.

  “Do you need a lift home?” Tom asked through clenched teeth.

  Jess shook her head and swallowed around the lump of grief in her throat. “See you later.” She pivoted and walked forward quickly, forcing buoyancy into her steps.

  A truck rumbled past, puffing out black clouds of smoke. If Tom called her name, she couldn’t hear above the clamor. But wishful thinking battled against what she knew without turning back.

  Jess picked up her pace and knuckled the tear at the corner of her eye. Their
perfect friendship had changed. Only for the worse.

  ❧

  “What possessed you to do such a nutty thing? I left one detail up to you and—oh, man. I can’t go to Flavors with her.” Tom pushed back from his desk. He should’ve known he’d live to regret introducing Linda’s friend to Frank through E-mail. But Linda had been adamant about making their first meeting a double date.

  Frank held up his hands in a motion of surrender. “Flavors is our favorite haunt, and Wednesday is Jessica’s day off—you said so yourself.” He smiled, not winning any points. “I thought we’d impress the girls with—”

  “They’re women, Frank.” Tom cupped his hand to the bunched muscles in his neck. “The last thing I want is to run into Jess when I’m with Linda.” He shoved back his shirt cuff and glanced at his watch. “I’ll send Linda an E-mail. Let her know there’s been a change of plans.”

  “At this late date?” Frank got to his feet. “She’ll never see it.”

  Tom continued glaring at the culprit, his mind racing. “Unless you have a phone number for Linda’s friend.”

  “Brittany?” Frank shook his head. “Nope.”

  Tom nodded his defeat. “I thought I told you to make dinner plans at Harry’s.” He stood, gazing out the window blankly at the ominous black sky between buildings. “Be aware—I’m going to pummel you if Jess is working tonight. If she doesn’t pummel me first, that is.”

  “What’s up with that anyway?”

  Tom twisted toward Frank’s annoyed voice. “I don’t want to add insult to injury.” Jess had every right to be angry. He had practically mocked her when she wanted to join Love Online. And now this.

  “What?” Frank shrugged. “You’re acting like you’re married to Jess or something.”

  Tom dropped to the edge of his desk and sighed. “It’ll make for an uncomfortable situation, that’s all.”

  Folding his arms, Frank quirked his brow. “Another mystery solved.”

  “Forget it.” Tom went around the desk and lifted his suit jacket from the back of the chair. “They’re meeting us in front of Flavors, right?” He walked to the door with Frank on his heels, flicked off the lights, and locked up. As they strode through the red-carpeted foyer, resentment burned in him.