“The city that never sleeps won’t know what hit it.”
“What, the library?” Lennon jokes.
“For that comment, you’re on the first five rounds.” Aiden leads me to a free table he spotted. I look around. So many faces we may never see again. Some might end up successful and some may fail. I wish Tristan was here.
“He’s not coming.”Aiden cuts through my thoughts. He watches me, sadness clouding his eyes. “He’s packing and sorting out the apartment. We all know Tristan isn’t the type to clean.”
“I wasn’t looking for him.” Not a complete lie. I look towards Jared and Kacey, who look back at me. Kacey whispers something into Jared’s ear, causing him to smirk. Lennon blocks Trey staring at me and hands me my cocktail and a shot. The charges against Jared were dropped. One of his friends -well, followers is more accurate - took the fall instead.
“To the next chapter in our lives and my baby sis flying the nest.” Lennon holds his shot in the air. I roll my eyes at his little sis comment. We all clink glasses and down the fiery liquid. I try hard not to burp and bring it back up. I quickly grab my cocktail and take a big gulp to take away the taste of whatever that shot was.
“I need more of that stuff.” The effects of the shot course through my veins, making me forget everything and the fact I’m leaving my life behind on my own.
“You didn’t look like you enjoyed it. You sure you can handle it?” Lennon challenges me. He knows I won’t back down from a challenge, especially if he has issued it.
“Bring it on!”
As the night goes on, my vision is almost non-existent, my emotions getting the better of me. I decide to go out and get some air. Lennon, Avery, and Aiden are all on the dance floor, laughing and joking with one another. My heart aches at the thought of leaving them behind and the fact Tristan should be here celebrating with us, not sitting in an empty apartment and cleaning on graduation night. I’m so lost in my thoughts, I’m now facing a familiar door. Before my thoughts catch up to me, my hand seems to have a mind of its own and knocks on the door.
“Shit.”
I can’t just run away now. I hear footfalls coming closer to the door. My heart hammers against my chest when I hear the lock click open. Bile claws its way up my throat. I suddenly feel the urge to puke everywhere.
“Lillia?” His voice is thick with sleep. I look at him from his feet, dragging my eyes up his long muscular legs, stopping a little too long at the bulge between his legs. Oh God, how I’ve missed that cock driving into me over and over again. My eyes continue up his washboard abs and rock solid chest, desire pooling between my legs the longer I stand here staring at him like he’s a piece of meat ready to be devoured by a lioness. I finally meet his wide eyes. Just as I’m about to say something, the bile decides that now is a great time to make an appearance. The contents of my stomach lands all over his front and on the floor that I’m sure he has just polished while we were out having the time of our lives.
“Oh, God.” I gasp as another bout of puke makes its way up and out of my mouth. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry.” I cover my mouth, hoping it stops.
“Let’s get you to the bathroom before you puke again.” He pulls me in over the threshold, avoiding the puddle of sick I left at the door.I think I’m safe to speak as we enter the bathroom, but we just make it in time and I bring up what’s left in my stomach until I dry heave, with Tristan holding my hair back and gently rubbing my back. My eyes start to roll back in my head, suddenly tired.
“Come on, sleepy head. Let’s get you tucked up.”
I suddenly feel like I’m floating on air, my head falling onto a hard chest, my ear resting beside a beating heart that soothes me into a peaceful sleep. I hope this isn’t a dream, because if it is? I don’t ever want to wake up.
When I heard the knock at the door, I thought it was Aiden or Lennon. I was prepared to let them have it about leaving their keys and waking me up. To say I was shocked to see Lillia standing in front of me looking hot as hell in her tight-fitted strapless purple dress is an understatement. A small smile pulled at my lips when I looked down at her feet. I had expected to see a pair of heels or fancy flats at least, but no - a pair of glitzed out Converse. I love that about Lillia. She doesn’t care for heels, fancy dinners, or any of that shit. Give her a book or a trip to Disney World and she’ll be yours forever. Too bad she won’t be yours forever. Just like that, the smile vanishes as quickly as it was about to appear. Her eyes linger longer than normal at the bulge in my boxer shorts that started to grow as soon as I laid my eyes on her. She eventually reaches my eyes and opens her mouth to speak, but I end up covered in vomit. I put my arm around her and guide her to the bathroom and wait with her, comforting her while she dry heaves. She turns her head a little, her eyes drooping. I tell her we need to get her to bed. She needs to sleep the alcohol off. I quickly clean the vomit off my legs and feet before I lift her.
Her head snuggles into my chest when I lift her in the bridal position and carry her down the hall towards my bedroom. I hesitate a little. I don’t want her thinking we did anything. I debate whether to put her in Aiden’s bed. Just the thought of her in my brother’s bed makes my blood boil. She sighs contently in her sleep and I look down at her. She looks like an angel with the moonlight shining on her beautiful face as I lay her down on my bed. She stirs a little, mumbles something, and starts snoring softly. I move a piece of vomit-covered hair that’s stuck to the side of her face. Bending down, I place a soft kiss on her lips. Vomit or no vomit, nothing will stop me kissing her, even if this is the last time I get to kiss those lips.
“I love you, Lilly,” I whisper, leaning my head against hers, and with one last look, I walk out of my room and go about cleaning the vomit at the door.
I’m lying on the sofa with one arm behind my head, staring up at the ceiling with nothing but thoughts of Lillia asleep in my bed and a dick harder than stone, wishing I was balls deep in Lillia’s pussy right now. I hear laughter and giggling coming from outside, keys dropping, and someone shushing. Avery, Lennon, and Aiden burst through the door, laughing and telling each other to be quiet, loudly, might I add. They all stop and look at me lying on the sofa, staring at them. It occurs to me that Lillia must have walked over here by herself. I narrow my eyes on them all; did they know she left? Did they even notice? “Where’s Lillia?” I ask.
They all look at each other then back to me. Lennon is the only one to speak. “She must have gotten lucky.” He shrugs and staggers towards his room with Avery giggling behind him. My eyes land on Aiden, who looks down.
“She’s a big girl, Tristan. She probably went home with one of the girls in one of her classes.” He sways a little.
“What you’re telling me is you have no idea where she is?” My voice grows louder. I sit up, clasping my hands in front of me.
“What’s your problem, Tristan? You’ve had nothing to do with her for weeks, now you’re acting like a protective bear looking after his young!”
“My problem. My problem is that you let a young girl walk home alone, drunk.” I stand and get in his face. “A girl who isn’t used to drinking that much. A girl who is supposed to be your best friend.” I growl, walking past him, hitting his shoulder.
“The same girl that has been trying to piece back her heart since you shattered it like it was a worthless piece of glass.” He sneers and storms to his room.
I groan and punch the refrigerator in anger. Not at Aiden, at myself. This is on me. If I had just listened to her, maybe, just maybe I would be sleeping next to her. My arm around her as she sleeps peacefully beside me. I take a glass of water and a couple of Advil and place it on the bedside table for her when she wakes up, and grab my jogging bottoms and running shoes. I leave for a run to clear my head, hoping that I run these emotions away.
I return to the apartment just before sunrise. I ran further than I intended but my head is clear, or as clear as it will get with the thought of Lillia in my bed right now. Grabbin
g a bottle of water and unscrewing the lid, I gulp down almost half of the contents. I close the door, and my eyes lock with shocked and wide emerald orbs as she bends down to pick up her freshly cleaned Converse.
“Um…” She stutters, straightening up, her dress riding up a little higher. I glance down and gaze at her tanned and toned legs. My mouth dries at the sight of her. She pulls her dress down. “We didn’t, um, we didn’t do anything last night, did we?” She swallows, not meeting my eyes. I shake my head, not trusting anything that will come out of my mouth. She nods and starts picking at her nails, biting the side of her lower lip. “I’m just…” She points to the door. “I’m just going home.” She heads for the door, opening it slightly, but stops. My eyes follow her every move, my heart racing when she turns to look at me. The look she’s giving me breaks my heart further, if that’s even possible. Her eyes look sad and tired. She pads across the floor until she’s standing in front of me. My heart hammers harder. I’m sure she can hear it. She looks up at me, places a hand on my shoulder, making me flinch a little at the contact as she balances herself to go up on her tiptoes. Her lips brush lightly with mine, sending tingles down my spine. My breathing comes out in short bursts as she steps back, removing her hand from my shoulder. “Thank you for last night,” she whispers, and leaves me standing staring after her, just like that night she declared that she loved me and told me the way I had made her feel in high school.
This time, I run after her.
“Lillia.” I catch up with her and grab her hand. Turning her, I grab her face, cupping it with my hands, and bring my lips to hers, kissing her with everything in me. If I’m never going to feel these lips again, I want to make it count. Without a word, I turn and leave her dazed and confused. Hell, I’m confused. On one side, I want nothing more than to be with her for the rest of our lives. I would marry her tomorrow if she wanted. But on the other, I know I’ll only hurt her if we’re together and I can’t watch her cry over my shit anymore.
Walking back into the apartment, I head straight for my room and flop down on my bed. Lillia’s scent fills my senses, causing me to close my eyes and breathe in, calming my erratic heart rate. Turning my face to the pillow that she slept on last night, I let her lull me into a peaceful sleep.
This is for the best, us parting. It’s what’s best for both of us.
I’m in my room packing the last of my books away when Avery walks in and flops down on my bed. “Shouldn’t you be packing too?”
“I’m done. Unlike you, I didn’t bring half a library.” She raises an eyebrow, picking up a book. “Really? Lillia how many times have you read this?” She holds up my very old and very battered-looking copy of Jane Eyre. I snatch it from her.
“My grandad bought me this. This is what made me fall in love with reading and where all my expectations of men came from.”
“I thought that was Disney movies?”
“No. They were the ones that made us think we would wake up looking a million bucks every morning, and birds and farm animals would come into our house when we sang while cleaning.” I place the last book in the box.
“What’s this?” Avery pulls out the photo that was poking out. I try to grab it but she stands up, making it harder for me to grab it. “Why was this in that book?” Her brows crease. I snatch the photo from her hand and place it back in the book. “Lillia?” She kneels in front of me.
“It’s stupid.” I sigh and lean against the bed.
“Nothing is ever stupid.” Avery shakes her head and takes the space next to me.
I take the picture out and look at it. It’s Tristan and me lying on a blanket, staring up at the sky. “We were assigned a project for Science class and we got paired.” A smile appears on my face. “Tristian loves space; he can tell you all the constellations without hesitation. I always thought he would want to be an astrophysicist, but his real passion is architecture. Have you seen his drawings?” She shakes her head. I point to the last canvas picture on my wall. A watercolor painted red heart with a black splodges splattered on it. “He painted that for me for my seventeenth birthday. I haven’t been able to stop staring at it ever since.”
She stands to have a closer look. “Huh. Interesting.”
“What?” I tilt my head a little.
“Nothing, just didn’t think he was the type to paint hearts.” She shrugs and walks back over to me.
“He’s really sensitive about it.” I avoid telling her about how his mother belittled him for his paintings.
“So, the picture.” I thank God she doesn’t question me further, but I know by the look on her face that she wants to. I look down at the picture again and smile.
“We were in the backyard of my parents’ house; his parents were at some benefit. I can’t remember what the project was about but I know I could have laid there listening to Tristan talk about space forever.” I sigh and feel a stray tear fall down my chin.
“You really love him, huh?” Avery asks softly.
I give her a weak smile and a one shoulder shrug. “With all my heart, body, and soul. I’d do anything for him to reciprocate that love.”
She flings her arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer. I lay my head on her shoulder. “Oh, I’m sure he does,” she says quietly.
“No. No, he doesn’t. If he did, he would be here right now helping me pack, or distracting me from trying to pack, and I’d be the happiest girl in the world because I’d have the man of my dreams in my arms.” I stand, throwing the picture on top of my Harry Potter book, and grab the box, leaving her staring after me.
I’m in the kitchen, setting out the plates while I wait on Avery and Aiden coming back. They’ve gone out to get some food before our parents come to pick us up and take me to the airport. I pull out my cell and begin typing out a message. After the way Tristan kissed me the last time I saw him last week, I thought we were getting somewhere, but he has ignored me since. He won’t return my phone calls or my texts. I decide to send him one last text, and if he doesn’t reply then I know for sure he really doesn’t love me.
My finger hovers above the send button.
“You know your cell isn’t a portkey.” Lennon makes me jump, causing me to press send.
“Wish it was a portkey to get away from you quicker.” I dig him in the ribs.
“Ow. You wound me, sis.” He rubs his ribs. “Is that everything?” he asks, looking around. I nod, my throat burning with unshed tears. “I’m going to miss this.” He sighs looking down at me. “Me and you, together every day.”
“I know.” A tear slips down my cheek. “I’m going to miss you, even if you do bug the hell out of me. I’ll miss our sister/brother date nights.”
“Don’t say date night. It’s a bonding night.” He cringes, making me laugh a little.
“Whatever you want to call it, I’ll miss it.” I circle my arms around his waist and place my head on his chest. His hugs, along with Mom’s, Dad’s and Luke’s, can make all the bad stuff disappear, even if only for a little while.
My mom hasn’t stopped crying since we arrived at the airport two hours ago. No matter what I say, she bursts in to tears.
“Mom, I’m only a short flight away. I’ll be fine.”
“But you’re so far away from me. How will I know if you’re eating enough? Or if you get hurt and I’m not there? Or… Oh, God.” She gasps, and her hand flies to cover her mouth. “What if you get sick and I can’t get there to look after you? You have to stay, Lillia. As your mother, I demand you stay.”
“Mom.” I giggle at her melodramatics, taking her hands in mine. She looks down and a tear drops on our joined hands. “I’ll call you if I even start getting the slightest bit of a sniffle or a cough. I’ll even call you when I have my period.”
“Promise.” She sniffs.
Shaking my head, I pull her into a hug and agree to the demands.
“Well, this is it.” I stand in front of Lennon, who has barely spoken to me all morning after that moment i
n my old apartment. “I’m going to miss you calling me in the middle of the night to come pick your drunk ass up.” I try to joke but it doesn’t work; not even a hint of a smile graces his face. “Lennon.” Tears fill my eyes. The one person I want to be happy for me hates me. Hates me for going to find myself, to get my dream job in a city I love so much. “Please. Please talk to me. I can’t leave if you hate me so damn much that you have to ignore me.” The tears are spilling over my eyes as he looks down at me. “Please, Lennon.” I sigh in defeat and look down at my shoes, knowing how stubborn he is. We’ve lived each and every day with each other’s company for most of our lives and I’m going to hazard a guess that he’s just as scared about this change as I am. This is a huge adjustment for both of us.
I’m about to turn away when he grabs me and squeezes me tightly. “I’ll miss you. I’ll miss you shouting at me down the phone when I call you to come pick Tristan and me up from some party.” I tense at the mention of Tristan’s name. Lennon must sense it as he whispers in my ear, “He said he couldn’t face saying goodbye.” He hands me an envelope. “He said not to open it until you get on the plane.” He smiles down at me sympathetically.
Nodding, I turn to start walking away with one last look at my family. I give them all a small wave. Turning back with a smile on my face, I walk towards the too happy-looking air stewardess, hand her my flight ticket, and embark on taking on my future, even if I am scared of going it alone. I need this. I need my freedom. Whatever is meant to be will be. If I’m destined to come back to Boston and live out my days there, then so be it. But as for right now, I’m taking those lemons, twisting them on the unicorn’s horn, and making lemonade.
Avery told me her uncle was sending a driver to pick me up from the airport, which I didn’t think was necessary, but Avery said he insisted and he’s not one to argue with. He’s going to be my new boss on Monday morning.
She Loves Me. He Loves Me Not. Page 10
