My heart breaks for him as I sit and listen to him describe what he’s always wanted. “I was in your position not too long ago. Do you remember what you said to me?” I place my head on his shoulder. “We were lying in my bed, a pizza between us, watching Harry Potter. You said, ‘Remember that part in Deathly Hallows Part One? The part where Ron leaves Harry and Hermione and pities himself. Ron had an excuse to be a complete and utter tool. Tristan didn’t. He’s not a dementor. He didn’t suck your soul out, although he was close to it with his attitude and actions. You simply loved him, maybe too much, and more than he deserved. But, I know you and you have so much more love to give. The world outside is a magical place. Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle.’Do you remember?”
He nods his head. “I also remember me trying to kiss you after I said all of that.”
“You tried to kiss her?” My head snaps up and I look behind me to see Tristan clutching his glass a little too tightly. I fear it may shatter in his hand.
“Tristan.” I swallow, standing and walking to his side. “Nothing happened, I swear.”
“It’s true. I tried to kiss her, but she pushed me away before my lips were even an inch from hers. She loves you, man. Always has and always will.” Aiden stands in front of Tristan who’s staring at him, not saying a word. Tristan shocks both of us when he pulls him in for a hug.
“Thank you,” he whispers.
“For what?” Aiden asks, trying to get answers from me with his eyes. I have none. I shake my head, equally confused.
“Looking after her when I broke her.” Tristan looks over at me, offering me a small smile. “On more than one occasion.”
“She’s my best friend. That’s what I’m here for.” Aiden’s cell rings, and he pulls it out of his front jeans pocket. “Sorry, I need to take this.” He points to the cell and walks to the opposite side of the yard.
Tristan puts his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him, and kisses my head. “Ever think you’ve fallen for the wrong twin?” he asks out of the blue. I look up at him, confused and hurt by the question. “I mean, he’s an amazing guy. No issues. He’s safe. He would never hurt you the way I have in the past.” He looks down at me with sadness in his eyes.
“I don’t want safe. Yes, you hurt me.” He looks away from me, and I place my hand on his cheek, making him look at me. “But you made me a stronger person. I’m not the naive little girl you met for the first time at the removal van. I’m stronger, and it’s all down to you. I want us to be the happiest we’ve ever been in our lives. Now is our time to show everyone who doubted us that we’re here to stay, together, and that we’re one complete package. When we got back together, you said you felt like a piece of you was missing and now you feel like your life is complete. Well, I feel the same. I love you, Tristan. There’s no-one else for me. It’s always been you and it will always be you.”
His lips crash to mine, kissing me hard, making me weak at the knees “I want to get married before the year is out.” I’m stunned into silence. I try to swallow, but I can’t. My mouth is dry.
“That’s six weeks away, Tristan. We can’t get everything done in that time.” I shake my head.
“I want my first kiss of the year to be you as my wife, Lillia. I’ve waited far too long for this to wait a year or two.”
I run my fingers through my hair and start to pace. As much as I would love to marry him tonight if I could, I want to plan it perfectly. The way Mom and I had always planned to. I can hear Mom’s voice right now in my head. Life’s too short to wait, Lillia. Marry him. If it’s just you and him, that’s all you need. It’s all about you and Tristan, no-one else. Taking a deep breath, I look at him and give him the biggest smile ever.
“Let’s do it.”
“Let’s do it.” The words echo in my head as I stare at my wife-to-be. Never in my wildest dreams did I see this day happening. Her saying yes to my proposal; not after what I put her through all of these years.
“We have a wedding to plan.” Lillia beams at Avery and Sally as we walk back into the living area. Avery squeals at the thought of the planning and starts throwing question after question at Lillia. What flowers is she thinking of. What the color scheme is.
We all turn when we hear the door slam shut. “Assholes!” Aiden curses, coming into view with a face so red you could mistake him for a tomato.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“We can’t get the deposit back from the venue for the wedding, even when I pulled the I have a cheating whore for a fiancée and do you know who I am? card.” He groans. I thank the heavens above that the girls and Jax are napping up in my old room that’s now Jax’s room. Otherwise I’d be fearing for my brother’s balls. “Also, the money for the minister to perform the ceremony is non-refundable.” He pulls at his hair. He looks up at Lillia and me. “If I can change the dates, you two are welcome to the venue. Call it an it’s about fucking time present,” he jokes.
“Are you sure?” Lillia asks. “I mean, wouldn’t it be a bit weird for you to be in the same place as where you had planned to get married?”
“No, because it’ll be my two best friends getting married, and I know you love each other deeply.” He smiles at her. “Now, do you have a date in mind? Next June?”
Lillia and I look at each other then up at our family. “New Year’s Eve,” we say in unison.
“Six weeks?” Avery squeaks. “It took me months to find my wedding dress!”
“Took me six seconds to rip it off you.” Lennon wiggles his eyebrows, earning him a smack on the chest from Avery. He rubs it, pretending it hurt, and blows her a kiss.
“Avery, I know what I want, and to be honest, I’d marry Tristan right here, right now in my jeans and Chucks if I could.” Lillia looks up at me shyly.
“Looks like we have work to do!” Avery rubs her hands together, pulling Lillia from my side.
“I’ll give them a call and change the date.” Aiden walks off and makes the call. I let out a breath. This is really happening.
“I’m happy for you.” Lennon claps a hand on my shoulder. “But you hurt my sister again? I swear, as God as my witness, I won’t hesitate in killing you with my bare hands.” He squeezes tighter.
“I won’t. You have my word.” I nod. I’m telling the truth. I only want to make her happy for the rest of our lives. Lillia and Jax are my priority and I will make them happy if it’s the last thing I do.
Aiden changed the date; it’s all set in stone. I’m marrying the woman of my dreams in just under a month. I lie in bed, looking over my wedding present for Lillia while I wait for her to finish whatever she’s doing in the bathroom and come to bed.
“I’m exhausted.” She sighs, climbing in, cuddling up to me. Placing my iPad on the side table, I’m about to put my arms around her but she places her feet on me.
“Jesus Christ.” I squeal like a little girl, almost falling out of bed. “Your feet are fucking freezing!” She giggles, pulling me closer to her. “Seriously, do you place them in a bucket of ice before coming to bed?”
“No. I’m just cold.” She giggles, placing a peck on my chest. “I think I need warming up.” She licks her lips, looking at me with hooded eyes. My dick twitches in response. I flip her on her back and warm her up three times.
I wake up to an empty bed and the sound of Lillia’s voice in the next room. “Jesus Christ, Ave. You realize what time it is?” She groans. I look at the clock and see that it’s just past seven-thirty. I decide to get up and grab a shower before calling a contractor that’s working on my surprise for Lillia. I see her sitting in the bathroom on the closed toilet seat. Bending down, I kiss her neck, causing goosebumps. “Avery, can I just have an hour to get my head together?” She rolls her eyes. “Fine.” She hangs up and throws her cell.
“Problem?” I grin, leaning on the sink, my feet crossed at the ankles and my arms folded across my chest.
“Yeah. How would you feel if I went to prison for murder?” Sh
e looks to the ceiling.
“I’m not sure orange is your color.” I chuckle.
“You’re right.” She sighs and lets out a groan. “Why do I have to have a best friend who’s unbearable with planning weddings?”
“Because you wouldn’t get half the stuff done without her?” I chortle. She gives me a death stare. “I’m kidding. Look, she’s just excited. You remember the way she was when you were pregnant? Just tell her to chill out and she’ll be fine.”
“You’re right but can I throttle her just a little?” She makes an action with her pointing finger and thumb, causing me to full belly laugh. “I love you.” She turns serious.
“I love you too.” I kiss her lightly on the lips.
I look at her, probably about to ruin the moment by asking the question that’s been rolling around in my head for the past week or so. “I need to ask you a question.”
Lillia’s eyes meet mine.”Sounds serious.” She swallows. I can imagine all kinds of scenarios running through that beautiful head of hers.
“Nothing too serious. Just something I’ve been wondering since we announced we were getting married.” I pull her towards our bed and sit down, taking her hands in mine, my thumb grazing over her knuckles. “Do you really not want any more kids?”
Her head jerks back slightly, surprised that this is my question. “What?” She takes her hands from mine and starts pacing. “I don’t think those words left my mouth, Tristan.”
Whoa. The tone in her voice surprises me; she’s gone all defensive. Is this the way I used to be when she asked me questions before? She walks towards the bathroom door.
“Lillia, wait.” I reach for her wrist but she pulls it away. “Lillia, it was just a question. A question that I think should be answered before we walk down the aisle.” Tears appear in her eyes as those words leave my mouth. What she says next shocks me to the core.
“If I don’t want any more, would that be a deal breaker for you?” A tear escapes the corner of her eye. Reaching across, I wipe it away. “If it is, I need to know before we cause any more hurt.”
“Baby, we’re blessed to even have one child. Jax is a beautiful blessing. I have you and I feel like I’ve won the lottery and Superbowl all rolled into one.” I pull her to my chest. “I just wanted to know if you want any more children, but judging by the response you gave Lennon when he asked if you were pregnant, I think that’s a no.”
“I’m not sure if I want more, Tristan. I have this fear of a similar thing happening like it did when I was in New York.” She stops and swallows before continuing. My heart is heavy with regret when she mentions what she went through on her own, the regret that she couldn’t tell her mom and dad about the pregnancy because of me and the way we were. “It broke me thinking I almost lost him.”
“I know, baby. The chances of that happening again is slim. If you don’t want to have any more, I’ll be happy, because like I said, we have Jax.” I kiss her lightly on the lips. “Besides, we both have brothers who can have more and we can just hand them back.”
She giggles. “You really don’t mind having no more kids?” She sniffs, lifting her head from my chest.
I move a piece of hair from in front of her eyes. “I really don’t. I have you and Jax.” I kiss her nose.
“You would tell me if you wanted more, right?”
“Of course I would. I will also enjoy pretending to make babies.” I wink, lifting her up, her legs wrapped around my waist.
“You’re an idiot.”
Jax takes this moment to run into our room.
“You boys have fun. I’m going to get ready.” She sashays away. I watch her peachy ass as my son jumps on our bed.
This is life. My life. My son and my woman. I couldn’t be happier.
One week until the big day and Lillia is ill. She’s been in the bathroom for the past hour, throwing up. I knock on the door. “Baby, are you alright?” I shout. “Shall we cancel on Dad?”
“No.” She retches. “No, I’ll be fine in a second.”
“Okay, we’ll wait by the door.”
“Mommy sick.” Jax points to the door.
“Yeah, little man. She’s sick.” I kiss his blond head.
Five minutes later, Lillia comes out of the bathroom, looking paler than ever. “Are you sure you want to go if you’re ill?” I ask, concerned for her wellbeing. We’re spending Christmas Eve at Dad’s and having a big family dinner Christmas Day. Everyone will be there; Aiden, Lennon, Avery, Luke and his girlfriend, Lucy, and the twins.
“Tristan, it’s Christmas. Our first as a family. I’m not letting some bug stop me celebrating.”
“I’m sure everyone would be okay if you miss it, Lillia. You need to rest. You’re asleep on your feet.” I rub her back. “We can celebrate another day; it’s not the end of the world.”
She turns and looks at me with a look that would see me six feet under if it could. “Tristan, I’m fine. It’s just a bug. I’ll be over it by morning.” She sighs, closing her eyes.
I’m not entirely convinced but I nod in agreement anyway. “If you feel worse or feel like you’re about to throw up on the way, I’m turning back and you’re not leaving the bed. Okay?” She rolls her eyes in response. “I’m not kidding, Lillia. I’m concerned about you. It’s been three days. You’ve hardly been able to keep anything down.”
“Tristan, I know my own body. I’m feeling better now so I think I’m over this bug now. Stop worrying.” She leans up on her tiptoes and kisses my cheek.
“I’ll never stop worrying about you or Jax.” I place Jax in his car seat and kiss his forehead.
“I know you won’t, and that’s why I love you. But you have to trust me that I know my body and I know that I’ll be fine for tomorrow. I have to be better for next week.” She smiles up at me, circling her arms around my middle.
“What’s happening next week?” I joke, causing Lillia to smack me on the chest.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m about to be a married woman, so we better make the most of this affair.” She winks and walks around to take her seat in the car with a huge cheeky smile on her face.
“Baby, when I’m done with you this week, you’ll never want to be with any other man.” I climb in and whisper in her ear, causing her to shiver at my words, and a cute little blush appears on her face.
“Grandpa!” Jax yells as we enter the front door. Lillia places him down and he runs off in search of his grandpa. I love the bond they have; it reminds me of when I was younger and the bond Dad and I had. While my mom would fawn over Aiden, Dad would take me out back and throw a ball around with me.
“Something smells amazing,” I say when I see Sally walking from the kitchen wearing a pink apron, wiping her hands. When she approaches us, she kisses me on the cheek then hugs Lillia.
“You feeling okay, sweetie?” Sally rubs her arm lovingly. “You look really pale.”
“I’m okay.” Lillia nods.
“Lucia Anne Kennedy!” Avery’s voice bounces off the walls. Lucia runs along the hall as naked as the day she was born.
“Aunt Lil!” Lucia squeals, heading straight for her aunt. Lillia lifts her up and hugs her.
“I swear I should be a size zero running after these two!” Avery pants. “You okay, Lils?” She frowns, looking at Lillia with concern.
“I’m fine.” Lillia forces a smile.
“You don’t look fine.” Lennon comes into view, heading straight for his sister. The concern rolls off him as he approaches. Lillia looks up at him then sprints past him, heading straight to the bathroom and slamming the door. Lennon’s eyes connect with mine and he narrows them. “What the hell is going on? You better not have hurt her!”
“Thanks for your support, Lennon. I told you, I would die before I hurt her like that again.” Hurt courses through me when I think about how little faith Lennon has in me.
“I’m sorry, man.” He sighs, looking towards the direction Lillia ran. “I’m going to see if she�
��s all right.”
“Don’t take it personally, Tristan. You know how protective he is of her, more so now that Mom and Dad aren’t here.” Luke pats my shoulder. Lennon and I have never been the same since the car accident. We’ve drifted apart, and I’m not afraid to say that I miss the close bond we used to have. I want it back.
“I know. I just miss how close we used to be.” We walk towards the kitchen, past the bathroom Lennon and Lillia are in.
“He misses you too,” Avery pipes up, dressing a reluctant Lucia. “He won’t admit it, but he misses you and I would love it if you could get back the relationship you guys had so he’ll leave me alone.”
I chuckle as I imagine how annoyed Avery must be having him around her twenty-four-seven. Lillia feels the same.
Lillia walks into the kitchen with Lennon, his arm around her, and her eyes red and puffy like she’s been crying. Lennon looks like he’s been crying too. She comes over to where I’m sitting and sits on my knee, placing her arms around my neck tightly.
“You okay, baby?” Worry is evident in my voice.
“Never better.” She smiles up at me.
Her smile could light up the darkest of nights. I will make it my mission in life that it never loses that light ever again. She will continue to be the brightest light in my life; my rainbow on a rainy day. My Lillia.
After getting a nostril full of Sally’s perfume, combined with baking and lasagna and Lucia’s smelly diaper, I couldn’t help my stomach rolling. I had to run to the nearest bathroom before I threw up all over Sally. Between heaves, I hear the door click open and close. I close my eyes and sigh, thinking Tristan has come to throw me over his shoulder and drag me home. “Babe, I’m fine.”
“Lillia?” To my surprise, it’s Lennon who walks in. “What’s going on?” He walks over and gathers up my hair in one hand and begins rubbing my back.
“I’m sick. Duh.” I roll my watery eyes, sniffing before dry heaving again. Jeez, there’s nothing left in there.
She Loves Me. He Loves Me Not. Page 30
