“I can see you’re sick. I’m not stupid, Captain Obvious.”
“Don’t ask such an obvious question then!” I snap, flopping to the side of the toilet bowl, all my energy gone.
“Lils, is everything okay?” Lennon joins me on the floor.
I turn my head slightly but not too much; I don’t want to make any sudden movements through fear of throwing up all over Lennon. He’s never been good with vomit; neither have I. If I puke on him then he’ll puke on me and we’ll end up in a pukey mess on the floor. “Of course I’m okay. Everything’s fine. Why wouldn’t it be?”
He closes his eyes, putting his head against the tiled wall and looking up. “Avery mentioned that you haven’t been eating and you’ve been snapping at everyone for the slightest thing lately.” He finally looks at me. “Just like last time.”
“What are you getting at, Lennon?” I narrow my eyes into slits. I know exactly what he’s getting at. He thinks Tristan is treating me like he did years ago. When he doesn’t speak, I fill in the silence. “Tristan is better, Lennon.” I look him directly in the eye. “You would see the same thing I do every day if you bothered to reach out to him.” He tries to give me some lame excuse about why he hasn’t tried to patch things up properly; it's the same excuses I get from Tristan. I hold my hand up to stop him talking. “He’s getting better, Lennon. Every day I see little glimpses of the boy I fell in love with when I first saw him. Every day I see a happier Tristan shining through.” A smile pulls at my lips. “The best friend my brother sees as another brother and who I know he loves and misses, even if he won’t admit it.” I nudge him.
“I do miss him. I wish Mom and Dad were here to see how happy you are right now in this moment.” His eyes glaze over.
“Yeah, they’d knock some sense into you and Tristan, that’s for sure.”
He scoffs, smirking a little. “Yeah, I can hear Mom now. ‘Get over there and sort out whatever it is you two have going on and bring him over here for some dinner.’”
I giggle, hearing Mom’s voice in my head.
“She always did have a way of getting you and Luke to sort out your problems then feeding you.”
“God, I miss them.” Lennon sighs. “Why haven’t you been eating?” His voice is low and serious. “Don’t even think of bullshitting me, Lillia.”
I close my eyes, carefully thinking over what I’m about to say. “I’m stressed, Len.” I swallow the lump forming in my throat. “The wedding is next week and there’s still so much to do. I need to find an assistant for work. Jax still demands most of my attention. I feel like I’m stretching myself too thin. I don’t want to ask Tristan for help because he’s just as stressed, if not more, with this project he’s been working on for the past year.” Tears leak from the corners of my eyes when I think about the biggest factor in my mood swings. “I miss Mom and Dad so much, Lennon. I know this is going to sound selfish, but I wish they were here to help take some of this stress from me.” I sniff, feeling like the worst daughter ever. “Mom would help with the wedding stuff and Dad could have helped me with the business side of things.” A sob escapes me.
“Hey, you’re not selfish at all.” Lennon pulls me to him.
“When Tristan falls asleep, I sneak out to my office and speak to them and tell them about my day, and how much Jax is growing and learning so much every day. How happy Tristan is making me, all the wedding plans.” Hot tears fall down my cheeks.
“Oh, Lils.” He pulls me closer. “Why didn’t you come to me? I could have helped out with the business side, and with Jax. You know Avery would help out with the wedding stuff and Jax too.”
“You have your own business to run and your own girls to look after, Lennon. I couldn’t pile more onto you guys. You’ve helped me so much already.” I shake my head.
“I have Luke to help with the family business. Luke or I, or even both of us, would have helped you out had you not been so stubborn and asked us.”
“I know.” I look down, tears still cascading down my cheeks. “I just wanted Mom and Dad to be here, especially now.”
“I miss them too.” His voice almost breaks. “I hurt for you every day. You may think no one notices how much you’re really hurting, but I do.” He turns his body to look me in the eye. “You hurt, I hurt. That’s how this twin thing works.” He winks, kissing my head. “In this together forever, remember?” He holds out his palm for me to join my palm with his. We did this when I was in the hospital with a broken arm after falling off my skateboard. I join my palm with his with a smile.
“Forever.”
“You two haven’t killed each other then?” Luke pops his head in. His face floods with relief at not seeing a blood bath. He looks between us, his brows knitting together. “You both doing okay?” I hold my arm out and he joins us on the floor.
“I always imagined Dad walking me down the aisle.” I break the silence. “Never did I think I wouldn’t see his blue eyes shine with pride and glisten with tears looking down at me, smiling at me, telling me how beautiful I looked and handing me over to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.” The cold hard truth washes over me like a tidal wave; the reality of my parents not here to witness what they always knew would happen. Tristan and I getting married. They always fought his corner, no matter what he had done. They treated him like one of their own. “Mom knew I loved him before I did. She always told me I would marry him someday. I told her she was crazy and that I was staying single forever.” Tears fall again. I have to ask them now. “I was going to wait until tomorrow to ask you guys, but I think since we’re on our own.” I look at the two best men in my life besides Tristan and Jax. My two big brothers, my protectors and bodyguards growing up. “Will you two give me away?” They both have tears falling, and crush me between them.
“Nothing would stop me from giving you away to the man who holds your heart.” Luke sniffs.
“Can I threaten him one more time?” Lennon smirks. I roll my eyes and shake my head. “Just for old time’s sake.”
“Only if you sort out whatever it is you and he have to sort out.”
“Deal. Will you make us a meal?” he jokes.
“No. I have a wedding, and Jax to look after.” I giggle.
“Come on. We better get back out there before Tristan has a cardiac arrest and Lucy has to resuscitate him.” Luke chuckles.
I stand sandwiched between my brothers. “Luke? Lennon?” They both look down at me with smiles on their faces. “I love you, you know that, right?” Fresh tears fall down my face.
“We know, sis.” They throw their arms around me, leaning in, and kiss either side of my head. We head out to see Tristan staring ahead, playing with the cutlery in front of him.
Lennon places his arm around me, leaning down to whisper in my ear. “Don’t be afraid to ask for help, okay?” He kisses my head and walks over to where Avery is playing with the twins and Jax with Aiden and Emmett while Sally busies herself in the kitchen.
I head towards my man. The love of my life and my forever.
Today’s the day I marry my best friend. My life. My girl. My Lilly.
I look in the mirror then at my watch. Still an hour before I see her walking down the aisle. A knock at the door catches my attention.
“Come in,” I shout, trying to sort the cuffs on my shirt.
“It’s freezing out there. Why the hell aren’t we wearing suits again?” Aiden complains.
“Because this is the one thing Lillia wasn’t budging on.” I chuckle at my brother. He’s always hated the cold, and wearing a kilt on a cold December night isn’t his idea of fun. Lillia had one request for this wedding then she let me go wild with everything else. The men had to wear kilts. At first, I wasn’t sure about it. I’ve never worn one before. But once I tried it on, it felt natural, like I was born to wear one. She said she wanted to incorporate her dad’s Scottish roots to make it feel like he’s with her. I wasn’t one to argue with her; this is her day and I’m the happi
est man that she’s chosen to spend the rest of her life with.
At the church on fifth, I wait patiently for my bride, who is late by ten minutes. As the seconds tick by, my heart races faster. I begin to fidget and my palms become clammy.
“Relax,” Aiden whispers in my ear. “She’ll be here. It’s tradition for the bride to be late.”
“Not Lillia. She’s never late. She hates lateness. Something’s wrong. Something has to be wrong for her to be this late.” My anxiety starts to go through the roof.
“Tristan, calm down.” Aiden cradles my face in his hands. He’s trying to calm me down and doesn’t want me to lose it in front of all our family and friends. “She’ll be here.”
I try breathing in and out like I was taught in my therapy classes. The second I open my eyes, I see the vicar standing in front of me with a big smile on his face. “Your bride is here.”
My panic attack is suddenly gone and calm is restored within me when the music starts playing.
“Wow, you’re one lucky son of a bitch.” Aiden looks behind him. I see him from the corner of my eye, his mouth hanging open in awe. Nothing but love pours out of his eyes. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I turn to see the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. My Lillia, standing at the top of the aisle with Lennon and Luke on either side of her. My vision blurs and my legs go weak. I have to hold onto Aiden's shoulder to stop me falling. I can’t stay standing anymore. I crouch down, my elbows on my knees and my hands making a steeple in front of my mouth as I watch Lillia walk towards me. I scrub my face, wiping the tears from my eyes, and stand when they stop in front of me.
Lillia
Seeing Tristan crumble in front of me fills my heart with nothing but love for this man. Nothing can ruin this day.
“Ladies and gentlemen, let’s be seated,” Vicar Willis instructs. I never take my eyes off Tristan. There’s just something about a man in a kilt that makes me weak at the knees, but Tristan in a kilt? Damn, I need to change my underwear already. “Who gives this young lady away?”
“My brother and I,” Luke announces proudly. They each take a hand. The vicar takes my left hand and helps me up to stand in front of Tristan, who looks like he’s about to pass out. The vicar places my hand on top of Tristan’s; his hand is trembling under mine. I can’t help the worry that flows through me.
I look over at him and whisper, “Are you okay?”
He nods, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. Is he having second thoughts about this? Does he not want to get married anymore? “I’m fine. Just stunned by how beautiful you look.”
I smile shyly at him.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here, in the presence of God and of this company, that Tristan and Lillia may be united in holy matrimony,” Vicar Willis begins. “We are here to celebrate and share in the glorious act that God is about to perform - the act by which he converts their love for one another into the holy and sacred estate of marriage. This relationship is an honorable and sacred one, established by our Creator for the welfare and happiness of mankind, and approved by the Apostle Paul as honorable among all men. It is designed to unite two sympathies and hopes into one, and it rests upon the mutual confidence and devotion of husband and wife.” I feel Tristan’s eyes on me as Vicar Willis continues with the ceremony.
I turn to look at Tristan and I’m willing George, the vicar, to hurry up so I can fuck my husband senseless. Whoa! Where did that come from? I’m in a house of God and I just blasphemed. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I focus all my attention on George, who looks between Tristan and me with the biggest smile on his face. He instructs us to look at one another, joining our hands.
“Tristan Ryder Hunt, do you take Lillia Rose Kennedy to be your wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in holy matrimony? Do you promise to love her, to honor and cherish her, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, and to be with her in all things a good and faithful husband as long as you both shall live?” Tristan looks at me like he wants to devour me in front of the congregation. And to be honest, I would let him.
What the hell has gotten into you, Lillia?
“I do.” Tristan grins at me.
George turns to me and asks the same question.
I bite my lip, trying in vain to stop from crying. “I do.” My voice cracks a little.
“I understand that you have written your own vows?” We both nod and turn back to face one another. “Lillia.” George encourages me to begin.
“I promise to always love you. As long as the stars shine in the sky, I will always love you. Your love is like water. Formless. Shapeless. It is peaceful, strong, and always just what I need. I promise to honor you. I promise to support you. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with my rock, my soul mate, my superman. You are my kryptonite. I love you.” A tear falls from my eye when I see tears falling from Tristan’s.
George clears his throat. I glance at him and see him wiping his eyes. “Tristan.”
“Lillia, you are the most beautiful, kind woman I know. Your strength is unbelievable. Anything life throws at you, you take it head on.I promise to love you for the rest of my life, be faithful to you, never take your love for granted, and to respect you. I promise to support you in all you do and make your dreams a reality. You are my life, my love, my happily ever after, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you, always.”
Jeez. This man. If it’s at all possible, I think I have fallen for him all over again.
“Let us pray,” George says. I bow my head and listen to the vicar I grew up with and looked up to like another uncle. “Amen.”
George announces that it’s time for the exchanging of the rings and begins to explain the reason we use a ring as a symbol of our commitment to one another.
“Lillia, this ring I give to you in token and pledge of my constant faith and abiding love,” Tristan repeats, pushing the most exquisite wedding ring I have ever seen on my finger. It’s a thin platinum band with diamonds all the way around.
“Tristan, this ring I give to you in token and pledge of my constant faith and abiding love.” I take his plain platinum band and place it on his finger.
George instructs us to follow him to the table to the right of us that holds a candle. “The candle represents the joining together of two individuals to live together as one in spirit. Tristan and Lillia, the candle yet to be lit represents the new family which is being created today. You are leaving their families to make a new life together.” We light the candle together, letting the flame burn bright, much like our love for one another.
After another prayer, George is finally wrapping up the formal part. “What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. For as much as Tristan and Lillia have consented together in holy matrimony, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, they have pledged their love and loyalty to each other, and have declared the same by the joining and the giving of rings. I, therefore, by the authority of the state of Massachusetts, pronounce that they are husband and wife, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.” He looks at Tristan with a huge smile on his face. “Now, for the moment you have been waiting for. You may now kiss your bride.”
I can’t help the squeal that escapes me. I throw my arms around Tristan’s neck. His arms wrap around my waist, he pulls me close, and our lips connect, sealing the marriage I’ve been dreaming for since I first laid my eyes on him.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome to the dancefloor the new Mr. and Mrs. Tristan Hunt.”
The whole hall whoops and cheers as we make our way to the center of the dance floor, ready for our first dance.
The sound of a man speaking into a mic catches my attention. “One, two.” He tests the mic. I look around Tristan and see the other love of my life on stage, sitting on a stool. “Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Hunt.” He winks at me. I swear if I wasn’t in Tristan’s arms, I’d be on the floor in a puddle, taking off my pan
ties and throwing them at his face.
“Oh. My. God.” I can’t breathe. My heart hammers against my chest, breathing becoming difficult the longer I stare at this vision of a man in front of me.
“Surprise,” Tristan whispers. My eyes snap up to look at him.
“You did this?” My eyes are as wide as saucers. He nods. I can’t help my actions, and I couldn’t give a shit that all of our family and friends are all around us. I jump on him and kiss him like my life depends on it. “I love you, Mr. Hunt.”
“If I knew all I had to do was get M Shadows to serenade you, I would have done it a long time ago.” He laughs as I jump down onto my feet.
“You didn’t have to do anything but be yourself, Tristan.” I turn serious. “We’ve been through so much together. We have a son together. We’re starting the year together as husband and wife. I love you, Tristan.”
“After all this time?”
I gasp when he quotes Dumbledore.
“Always,” we say in unison.
M Shadows begins singing one of my favorite songs, the song I had picked out long before I even met Tristan. The one song I knew I wanted to be my first dance song no matter what others said. Warmness On The Soul.
Around halfway through the dance, I decide it’s time to confess something.
“Tristan?” I lift my head from his chest and look him in the eye. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” I swallow, not knowing how to tell him this news.
“Damn it. You’re going to run off with M Shadows and I’m going to jail for trying to kill him, aren’t I?”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Nope. You’re my man, he’s my bit on the side.” I wink.
“What is it, Lillia?” He places his hand on the side of my face and I lean into his touch.
“We need to stock up on Parma Violets, Love Hearts, Twizzlers, and peanut butter.” I bite my lip, looking at him as he stares at me, clueless. Then his eyes are so wide I half expect them to pop out of his head.
She Loves Me. He Loves Me Not. Page 31
