But he found the anger of the last few days hard to revive, and if the truth were told, he felt nothing but emptiness. A void he’d never known existed until Rachel.
The urge raged inside Wade to ride down and kiss her until she cried out his name. But he sat, hat pulled low over his forehead, watching her load up the wagon.
He couldn’t remember a time in his life when he’d felt more miserable. His old way of life no longer appealed. Being free to come and go didn’t give him the same pleasure as spending time with Rachel. Even the thought of searching for Walker no longer obsessed him. Walker was a grown man now, probably with a family of his own, while Wade once again faced life alone. The thought disheartened him as never before.
Rachel helped the children into the wagon to start the day’s journey. My family. My woman.
The realization shocked him, yet after a moment’s reflection, it felt so right. The words held a sense of belonging that he could never remember experiencing, not even with his mother and father.
He loved Rachel and was tired of fighting himself, worrying whether he was right or wrong for her. He’d loved her even before they made love. Even though he wasn’t the man for her.
To hell with the right man for Rachel!
Right or wrong, Wade was the only man for her. He wanted to spend the rest of his days with Rachel by his side, and not on some foolish chase, searching for an elusive dream of a brother he hadn’t seen in years. What he wanted was in front of him.
He no longer wanted to live like a nomad. For the first time, the desire to put down roots and stay in one place seemed inviting. Rachel deserved a home, and he was just the man to give her one.
As the sun burned away the morning fog, his mind cleared. He knew what to do to secure their future. The four hundred dollars she’d given him was an opportunity calling out to him.
With little more than a week before Rachel reached The Dalles, he had time to put his suddenly conceived plan into action, a week to prove to the woman he loved how much he wanted them to be together. He knew he had one last chance to win her heart.
With a last glance at Rachel as the big oxen pulled the heavy wagon away from the campsite, Wade wished her godspeed.
Then he turned his horse towards The Dalles. She’d have a surprise waiting at the end of the trail, a surprise he hoped would make her willing to take a second chance with him.
* * *
Rachel pulled the wagon to a stop in front of the church where her father would have preached. The building looked new, its white exterior freshly painted.
Four narrow windows graced each side of the structure and a chimney stood at either end. A picket fence enclosed an area out back, where four smaller houses sat. It looked perfect for a school or an orphanage, and would have been ideal for her father. The thought saddened her even more.
“We’re here, Rachel!” Mary exclaimed as she ran to the wagon. “Can you believe we made it.”
Rachel stared at her friend. “No, I can’t.”
For the last week, Mary had done her best to lift Rachel’s spirits, when all Rachel wanted was to be left alone with her misery. She knew she should be more excited, but she felt old and tired.
“Come on. We should be celebrating.”
Rachel leaned against the wagon, her joints aching with fatigue. “Maybe after I rest for a while, I’ll feel better.”
She’d done a lot of thinking in the last week, and wondered how she was going to keep the children with her and support them without a husband. She had discussed opening a boardinghouse with Mary’s help, yet somehow the thought wasn’t appealing.
The children scrambled out of the back of the wagon, exuberant with their arrival and eager to explore their new home. She was relieved to see them so happy, since the days following Wade’s disappearance had been full of questions and sadness.
“Come on, Rachel,” Mary urged. “Let’s go see the church.”
A tall, thin man with wavy blond hair stood in the doorway of the chapel. He was dressed conservatively, with his shirtsleeves rolled up, suspenders holding up his khaki-colored pants.
This must be Ben, the man who would have been her father’s assistant. He was handsome for a preacher. But he didn’t have Wade’s stubborn jaw or flashing green eyes, and then she doubted he liked to drink whiskey or sing “Buffalo Gals” at the top of his lungs, either. Even though she knew it was wrong, at this moment she would have loved to hear Wade’s baritone rendering one verse of that barroom ditty.
The man hurried toward them, a welcoming smile upon his face. “Welcome to the Westward Mission. Can I help you?”
Rachel climbed down from the wagon. Regret made her steps slow as she approached him. When she reached his side, she glanced up into dark-blue eyes, dreading the explanations. “I’m Rachel Cooke, and this is my friend, Mary Beauchamp.”
His eyes widened at the mention of her name. “Welcome to The Dalles. I’ve been expecting you and Brother Cooke.” He looked around Rachel as if searching for her father.
“I’m afraid I have bad news for you. My father was killed by the Pawnee before we reached Fort Laramie,” Rachel’s voice choked with emotion. “Our…entire wagon train was wiped out, except for my sister, me and three children.”
Rachel began to shake as reaction to everything that had happened over the last six months overwhelmed her. Tears cascaded down her face.
Ben froze, momentarily in shock. “Dear God.” He clasped her hand in his. “It must have been a terrible journey for you.”
Rachel used her free hand to wipe the tears from her eyes.
His face was full of concern as he watched her. “Why don’t you go inside the chapel for a few moments to compose yourself?”
The idea of slipping within the church was too tempting to resist. She needed a few minutes to gather herself and decide where to go from here.
Ben opened the door for her and gestured inside. “Go on. I’ll take care of things out here.”
As she stepped into the dimly lighted church, her eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness. The serenity of the chapel was soothing, its peaceful atmosphere a balm to her overwrought nerves.
In the muted light, she saw something moving—a man. From the back, his physique reminded her of Wade, but she quickly brushed away the thought. It couldn’t be Wade. He had left her, choosing freedom over love.
As the shadow turned to face her, her breath caught in her throat. The man who had haunted her dreams for the last hundred miles stood before her, hat in hand.
Chapter Seventeen
“Wade,” Rachel exclaimed, staring at him, her stomach churning with elation and fear. It took every bit of self-control she possessed to keep from flinging herself into his arms. She grabbed a pew for support, her heart pounding. “Why are you here?”
“I need to explain some things to you,” he said, his voice tense, his eyes dark. “Will you come for a ride with me?”
The thought that he’d returned for her sparked a flicker of hope in her chest, which faded as she recalled he didn’t love her, wouldn’t marry her. He must have come for another reason. The brief moment of elation was quickly replaced with despair.
Mentally and physically exhausted, she didn’t need to subject herself to another heart-wrenching scene with Wade. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
The man had a lot of nerve, to come plunging back into her life after leaving her on the trail with three children. Yet the sight of his beloved face fed a deep need. Bleakly, she suspected she would always love him.
“I know I’ve hurt you, and you have no reason to trust me. But I want a chance to explain things. Then, if you never want to see me again, I’ll go away.”
Wade stood before her, twisting his hat. His face was intense, his cheeks taut; tempting her to risk heartache once more. The pain of his leaving festered like an open wound, but she couldn’t bear to see him walk out of her life just yet.
She was so tired, yet part of her wanted
to hear what he had to say. Still another part wanted to walk out the door. But why had he traveled all this way, and what could he explain? Could she turn him away without knowing—for the rest of her days—what he had to say? Curiosity fought her trepidation.
“I promise, Rachel, I don’t mean to hurt you anymore,” he said quietly, his expression sincere.
He’d already broken her heart, what more could he do? One last ride with Wade before they would be through. One last conversation before he left her life for good.
Reluctantly, she said, “All right.”
Wade closed the short distance to take her by the elbow. “Then let’s go. We’ll have to hurry to get back before dark.”
The fall sun shone down on them as Wade helped Rachel into the wagon. Once on the seat, she couldn’t refrain from asking, “Where are you taking me?”
“Just wait,” he replied.
The wagon bounced through the small town, the roads rutted and muddy from a recent rain. They drove alongside the Columbia River, following it along the cliffs and through the pines, occasionally glimpsing the churning water below.
She was in heaven, and she was in hell. The last three weeks had stretched forever without him. Beside him now, she longed to seek the comfort of Wade’s touch. Yet she remained distant, touching him only when the wagon jostled them together.
“Did you find your brother?” she asked, curiosity overcoming her reluctance to speak.
“Nope. I found something much greater,” Wade replied.
Considering his need to find Walker, his statement seemed odd. What could mean more than his family member?
They rode among hills green with pine trees and oaks, golden with fall foliage. But Rachel couldn’t appreciate the beauty of this new land. Her mind was focused on the man beside her.
No matter what he showed her, no matter what he said, she didn’t need any more heartache than he’d already caused. She must move forward, yet she couldn’t seem to picture life without Wade. No matter how hard she tried, he appeared in every thought she had about the future.
She scolded herself. Today would be their final chapter, an ending without a proper beginning. In fact, everything about their courtship had been entirely improper. Yet somehow it had felt so right.
After thirty minutes of bouncing over bad roads, she asked, “How much longer?”
He kept his gaze fixed on the road. “That’s why I said we had to hurry. It’s at least an hour from town.”
“Can’t you give me a hint about where you’re taking me?” The need to end this ride filled her voice with frustration.
He looked at the road ahead. “Patience, Rachel. It’ll be worth it, or at least I hope you’ll think so.”
She crossed her arms, trying to calm her unsteady nerves. With each passing mile she wondered, if he made some sort of attempt to crawl back into her bed could she resist him? She didn’t know if she had the strength to withstand him. One touch, and she could be lost to the sensations only Wade evoked.
He shifted nervously as their gazes met. “Did you have any trouble the rest of the way?” he asked.
She glanced at him, eyebrows lifted with disdain. “Mary and I did just fine. We’re talking about opening up a boardinghouse.”
“Oh,” Wade said, with a strange catch in his voice.
They rode for the next few minutes in silence. She sat beside him, her emotions warring, wondering if this trip would ever end. Wondering if she would ever feel like the girl who’d left Tennessee.
Pulling on the reins, he slowed the oxen. “We’re almost there. It’s right around this bend.”
Rachel shot him her best imitation of a bored expression, trying to restrain her curiosity. “Good. I need to get back to the children and Mary.”
Wade clucked to the oxen, and they trudged around the bend. She tried not to appear eager, yet she couldn’t help but crane her neck to see what lay ahead.
As they turned onto a narrow dirt lane that had recently been cleared she noticed a rough wooden arch over the road. Closer, she read the sign: Love’s Last Gamble.
They passed beneath the painted words before jolting down the dirt road. “What’s this?” Rachel asked puzzled.
Ignoring her question, he pulled the wagon to a stop in a lush meadow sprinkled with pine trees. In the background, the hills gleamed golden in the autumn sky.
He set the brake, jumped down and helped Rachel alight. They walked side by side, not touching, away from the wagon.
“Remember that four hundred dollars you paid me before I left?” Wade said, looking across the countryside.
Rachel stared at him, baffled by his question. “Yes?”
“After I left that morning, I spent the next week following you and the children.”
She gasped as she realized, Wade had been close by.
“I tried to leave.” To go find my brother. But Walker didn’t seem important. As I kept vigil over you, I realized you and the children had become my life, my family.
He turned to face her, his eyes clouded with anxiety. For the first time, she felt as if she were looking into the very depths of Wade’s soul, that he was offering her, this brief glimpse, but seemed terrified of what she could see.
“I suddenly knew that a brother that I hadn’t seen in sixteen years couldn’t take the place of the love I had found with you.”
Rachel felt her heart stop. He had returned for her after all! Time hung suspended as she tried to gather her wits.
“Finally one morning, after being miserable all night, I realized I wanted you and the children to be with me always.”
“Oh, Wade!” Rachel said, her voice barely above a whisper as she realized what he could say next.
“I have a lot of price, Rachel. I kept trying to make you think there was a better man for you because I had nothing to offer. Even though I loved you, and giving you up nearly killed me, a man has to provide for his family. That’s when the four hundred dollars you’d shoved down my shirt suddenly came in handy. I realized what I could do with the cash.”
He took a deep breath, picking up both of her hands in his. “I love you, Rachel and want to spend the rest of my days with you by my side. Will you please be my wife?”
Tears clouded Rachel’s eyes. She wrapped her arms around him. “I’d given up hope of ever hearing you ask.”
“I’m not rich. But I promise I’ll be by your side until my dying day.” Wade’s eyes overflowed with love.
Whatever reservations Rachel might have had disappeared. If she knew one thing about Wade Ketchum, his word was better than gold. “Do you really think all that matters? I love you, not your possessions. Of course, I’ll be your wife.”
“You deserve a man who can provide better for you,” Wade said as he turned to glance out at the land. “I couldn’t ask you to marry me without being able to give you a home.”
“That doesn’t matter to me.”
“But it did to me.” He paused. “This land isn’t much, but it’s a start. I love you, Rachel. I’ll never leave you again.”
“I couldn’t stand it if you did,” she said. “I need you by my side each day. Wherever you go, I go.”
Wade wrapped his arms around her, his lips brushing hers for a kiss that promised so much more.
“What about Walker? Will you ever look for him again?” Rachel asked when she could get a breath.
He nuzzled her neck, trailing kisses to her lips. “No. I’ll always wonder about him, but I have my family now.”
His mouth lowered to hers in a kiss that took Rachel’s breath away and left her blood pounding. All thought receded, fading into the flush of passion Wade evoked. Until this moment, she had no idea how much she’d missed the strength of his embrace, the taste of his lips.
They broke apart, his breathing ragged. “Are you still in a hurry to get back?”
“Not now!” A giggle escaped her lips as he held her close. “Wade, why did you name our ranch, Love’s Last Gamble?”
&nbs
p; “Because this was my last gamble, and I did it for love.”
“I like that.”
His kiss claimed her. “Take me to heaven the way only you can.”
Rachel sighed against his lips. “My pleasure, Mr. Ketchum.”
The End
Visit www.SylviaMcDaniel.com
Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading A Hero’s Heart. This was my second historical romance and in 1996 was a finalist in the Romance Writers of America’s prestigious Golden Heart Contest. Originally, it was published through a major New York publisher back in 1999. But times change and now it’s only available as an ebook.
Authors really appreciate it when you leave a review. If you feel so inclined, please leave a review of A Hero’s Heart. Reviews from readers have the power to make or break a book.
Thanks so much for reading A Hero’s Heart. Be sure to check out some of my other Western Historical romances.
Sylvia McDaniel
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Everyone deserves a second chance. After the death of his best friend in the Battle of Atlanta, Tanner Burnett walked away from the civil war. Now, ten years later, he runs with the Sam Bass gang, trying to escape the memories of that horrible battle. But when a stagecoach robbery goes bad, he rescues injured Elizabeth Anderson, wanting only to get her to a doctor and rejoin his gang. But the injured beauty needs a nurse and Tanner is unprepared for the way Beth soothes his wounded heart and heals his spirit. Until he takes her to Fort Worth, Texas and learns she’s his brother’s mail order bride.
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