by Emily Forbes
He loved her? How she wished that was enough. How she wished it were that easy. She could feel James’s heart beating as though it were her own. She could feel every breath he took as though it were her lungs breathing for them both. He was right, they were connected and her body responded to him in a way she’d never responded to anyone before. And she knew she would never love like this again. But it wasn’t enough.
‘A family means children. To me anyway.’ She had to make it clear. She had to be sure he understood. ‘I thought I could have a new dream but I can’t. I need children.’
‘I want you to have that. I want us to have that.’
He was holding onto her upper arms and his hands were warm and strong, making her feel safe and secure. She hoped this feeling wasn’t just an illusion. ‘You want children?’ He nodded and she frowned. ‘What made you change your mind?’
‘You,’ he said simply. ‘Do you remember the photo of us that was taken at the ward dinner? It’s on the fridge surrounded by all the paintings Libby’s children have done for us? I was looking at those paintings and thinking, What if the pictures had been done by our children? And suddenly I could picture our future. I want a whole lot of blond-haired, blue-eyed children that look like their mother. I want to have a family with you.’ He saw her smiling. ‘What’s so funny?’
‘In my mind the children have curly, dark hair with eyes the colour of chocolate, just like their father.’
‘Let’s agree to have a mixture. As long as we have—’
‘Four,’ they said together.
‘Definitely four,’ he repeated. ‘I want it all.’
‘All?’ Could she dare to hope that her dreams could come true?
He nodded. ‘But only if I can have it with you. You make my life better. You make me a better person too. You make me think I can be the sort of man you want. The sort of man you deserve. You make me want to try. I want to be the best man I can be and I can only be that if you are in my life. I want to grow old with you. I want to build a life with you. We belong together. I want to watch our children grow, I want to watch our grandchildren grow. I want you to be able to depend on me and I won’t let you down. I want you to marry me.’
‘What?’ Had she heard him right? ‘You want to get married?’
‘I want you to be the mother of my children but first you need to be my wife.’
‘You want to marry me?’
‘Yes. I’m not letting you go again. Ever.’
‘I thought you didn’t believe in people’s ability to commit?’
‘I know I said I wasn’t going to get married but I never thought about the implications of that statement until I met you. Until I fell in love with you. When I was engaged before I could never imagine past the wedding, I’d barely been able to imagine that, and I certainly hadn’t been able to imagine a long-term future. I’d known I would end up divorced, I thought it was because of my father, that I had too much of my father in me, but now I realise I had the wrong partner. You are the one I’m meant to be with and I can’t imagine my future without you in it. I get it now. I can see how people believe and trust and hope that their love will last, that their marriage will be the one that makes it. I’ve found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and I know we will make it. Together we can do this. I want to share the rest of my life with you. You can depend on me. I promise you that. You are my future.’ He knelt on one knee and grinned at her, his chocolate eyes gleamed and her heart swelled with love. ‘Now, do you have any more questions or are you going to let me propose properly?’
He really was serious. ‘You’re going to propose here?’
‘I admit this isn’t quite what I’d planned. We were supposed to be on the beach last night as the sun set, drinking champagne and toasting our future life together.’
‘Last night?’
‘I’ve been looking for you for two days,’ he explained. He looked around. They were surrounded by lawns, rose bushes, headstones and silence. ‘But it’s quite beautiful here too and we are alone, with your family.’
She smiled, touched by his sentiment. ‘You’re right, this is perfect.’
He nodded and took her hand. Her heart was racing.
‘Ellie, my love, I can’t imagine my life without you. You bring the sunshine into my world, you bring balance and meaning, you are my centre. I love you, Ellie. Please, will you marry me?’
Tears, happy, emotional tears, were welling in her eyes and her heart was full. That empty spot wasn’t empty any more. This was really happening.
She knelt down on the grass before him. ‘Everything feels better when you are around,’ she told him. ‘I feel safe, content, loved and hopeful. Together we can have the life I’ve dreamed of. I love you.’ She kissed him softly on the lips and warmth flooded through her. She loved him and he loved her. He wanted her and she belonged to him. ‘And…’ she kissed him again ‘…I will marry you.’
She was loved and she loved in return. She was going to marry the man she adored and have dark-haired babies with blue eyes who smelt like limes or maybe fair-haired babies with chocolate eyes who smelt like sunshine. Any combination was fine with her.
She hugged James to her. He was the love of her life. Her heart was full and her world was perfect.
ISBN: 978-1-4592-1613-6
BREAKING HER NO-DATES RULE
First North American Publication 2011
Copyright © 2011 by Emily Forbes
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