A Lesson in Forgiveness

by Jennifer Connors

  “But, my lady, you have only been married one day.”

  “Sometimes that's all it takes.” Ginny picked herself up and then helped her maid. “Come on, Tabby. I need to get dressed and hunt down my husband. If he's at all smart, he'll be armed.”

  Chapter 14

  After a quick bath, Tabby dressed her simply. Even simply dressed took time and Ginny was itching to find her husband by the time she left her bedchamber. Walking down the staircase, careful to avoid any lingering guests, Ginny went first to Colin's study. Finding it empty, she decided she would be better off asking Pearce where he was rather than wandering the grounds and potentially running into her parents.

  She pulled the bell in the study and Pearce arrived as if he'd been waiting behind the door for someone to ring. Entering the study, his face the mask of serene, he asked, “Yes, my lady. What may I assist you with?”

  “Pearce, where is my husband?” Ginny tried to keep her voice even, but she was only human.

  Pearce's face took on a confused look. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. He seemed to be struggling with what words to use.

  “Spit it out, Pearce,” Ginny was not able to keep the annoyed sound from her voice. She felt badly, it wasn't Pearce's fault she was so angry, so more gently she said, “Just tell me, Pearce.”

  “Lord Whitmore left this morning, my lady. He said you were aware of it.”

  She could now add lying bastard to his list of growing attributes. Ginny heard people walking toward the study and she didn't want this to be overheard. “Pearce, please close the door.”

  Pearce walked over and closed the door. When he turned back to her, she offered him a seat, then took the second armchair, “her armchair” as she was coming to call it. “Please start at the beginning.”

  “His lordship called his valet up to his rooms late last night, after the two of you retired. From what I learned from Charles, his valet, he was told to pack for an extended journey. His lordship had already planned his trip to the Continent, but I assumed that was postponed due to his marriage. He called me up last night and asked that I have his carriage ready first thing in the morning. Just after dawn this morning, the footman packed up the carriage and his lordship and Charles left. I asked him if he had any instructions for me to give you, my lady. He said you were aware of his plans, sanctioned his leaving and would be in charge in his absence.”

  Ginny dropped her eyes to her lap. Taking a deep breath, she released it slowly and tried to figure out how she should handle this. Her husband had abandoned her, with no word of when he planned to return, and she was saddled with running an entire estate by herself. Great, just great, she thought to herself as the butler waited patiently for instructions.

  “Pearce, you are to tell no one of this. If anyone asks where Lord Whitmore is, you tell them he was called away on urgent business. You are not to tell any of the staff that he left here without my knowing. Please try to quash any rumors among the staff as well. I know it will be difficult, but I have a great deal of faith in your abilities.”

  “Of course, my lady.” Pearce was back to being his usual robot self.

  “I have never run an estate before, so I will rely on you quite a bit. If I ask silly questions, please bear with me. If I keep asking the same question, again, keep in mind I'm learning. Now, when do the last of the guests leave?”

  “All but your parents, Lady Whitmore and Lord and Lady Collingsford leave tomorrow, my lady.”

  “Good. We can keep up the pretense up for another day. Now, what do I do first?” Ginny looked imploringly at her butler, clueless and not wanting to screw everything up.

  “You may want to visit with the housekeeper, my lady. She can explain the workings of the staff and household. Perhaps you should meet with the estate manager, Mr. Stevens, as well. He can give you information on the estate and tenants. I shall order a carriage for you this afternoon.”

  “Thank you, Pearce. When this is all over, you will be in for a big raise.”

  It was a grueling session with the housekeeper. Mrs. Simmons took her on a tour of the entire house, kitchens and even the root cellar. She showed Ginny the kitchen garden where they grew all the vegetables and herbs used in the house. Mrs. Simmons sat down and showed her all the accounts, receivables and payables. All in all, Ginny was confident that she wouldn't have to do much with Mrs. Simmons around.

  After a private luncheon, as Ginny was still trying to avoid her parents and in-laws, Ginny was driven on a curricle by one of the groomsmen. It reminded Ginny to ask her parents to send Lyle the groomsmen to Wellesley so Tabby could have her sweetheart near. At least one of them should be happy. The trip was pleasant, even though the hot sun was making her sweat through her many layers.

  They arrived at a small house, set back into a wooded part of the estate. It was white clapboard, with a few windows in the front and well maintained flower garden. The house was surrounded by a white picket fence with a cobblestone pathway to the door. Ginny made her way up the path and knocked on the door. She waited a few moments, but didn't hear anyone approaching, so she knocked again, this time harder.

  After a few more moments of waiting, Ginny tried the knob. It was locked. So she went back to the curricle. The groomsman, who had been watching the entire episode, suggested she try around back. There was apparently a larger garden and a door to the estate manager's office. Ginny thanked him and took his suggestion. Walking around the house, within the fence, Ginny glanced in every window, but saw no movement.

  There was no one in the backyard either, but Ginny saw another door. She promptly knocked, but again, no answer. Trying the knob, this time she found it open. Walking inside, she saw a neat office: a desk and chair, several shelves loaded with ledgers, and two extra chairs for guests.

  “Hello, is anybody here?” Ginny had a moment of foreboding that she couldn't quite understand. Nothing was out of place, everything was neat and clean, with no dust or cobwebs. No papers strewn about, no furniture overturned. It looked as if the room's occupant had just stepped out. But something wasn't right and she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

  Walking back to the front of the house, Ginny asked the groomsman, “Does Mr. Stevens have a housekeeper?”

  “Indeed, 'e does. Good ole Mrs. Johnson. She lives in the village with 'er 'usband.”

  “Why isn't she here?” Ginny wondered aloud. God knew there were always people at Wellesley Hall, but that certainly didn't mean that a housekeeper worked for Mr. Stevens everyday.

  “Could be 'er day off, my lady. I could take you to see 'er, if you wish.”

  Ginny had no reason to go and see the housekeeper. It probably was her day off, but something just kept nagging at her. Maybe it was from reading too many romance novel on her worst vacation ever. Something always went wrong, so why should her life in this romance novel be any different. Of course, wasn't it enough that her husband had abandoned her the day after her wedding? No, she didn't think so.

  “Yes, please. I would like to talk to her.” The groomsman helped Ginny back up onto the seat of the curricle and then climbed up himself. Leisurely driving toward the village, Ginny wondered what had felt so wrong about the situation. It was Saturday, and many servants had only Sundays off. But that wasn't it either. Maybe it was the lack of papers on the desk. Bethany had been to her father's estate manager's office on occasion and remembered that his desk always looked like a hurricane had hit it. But, maybe Mr. Stevens and her husband had cleaned up a lot of outstanding issues in preparation for his extended holiday.

  Feeling foolish, she was about to tell the groomsman to forget it when they arrived at the small house on the outskirts of the village. She still would have told him to drive on except that Mrs. Johnson was standing right in her front garden, pulling weeds. Looking up at them, she stood up and walked over to the curricle.

  “Good day, my lady.” Mrs. Johnson was of average height and of medium build, not fat, but not skinny either. She had
her mousy brown hair pulled back in a bun, which showed off a generous smattering of grey. She wore a large apron, covered in dirt. “What brings you by today?”

  “Actually, I was looking for Mr. Stevens and thought maybe you knew his schedule. I hate to bother you on your day off though.”

  “My day off, my lady?” Something about Mrs. Johnson's voice was strange, like she thought Ginny must be pretty dense. “Mr. Stevens quit the other day. He told me that you would recommend me to the new estate manager when he is hired, but that I would not be working until then.”

  “What? Mr. Stevens quit. My husband didn't tell me that and as far as I know, no one on our staff knows he quit either. When did he leave?” Ginny began to search her brain, but didn't remember meeting him at her wedding. Of course, she had no idea what he looked like, so maybe she did and just didn't remember. God knew her husband hadn't been very good at making introductions.

  “Why, it was only a couple of days ago, he told me to stop attending the house.”

  “Did he say why he was leaving?”

  “Yes, he said he got a new position in Sussex. The house is closer to his aging mother and he wanted to be able to spend more time with her.”

  Ginny didn't want to freak out in front of Mrs. Johnson. “Thank you for the information. I will certainly recommend you to the new estate manager when I find one.” Smiling, Ginny took her leave and walked back to the curricle. “Let's go, Thomas. I have to get back and talk to Pearce again.”

  “Of course, my lady.”

  The ride back wasn't memorable, mostly because Ginny was busy trying to figure out what the hell she was going to do. She'd never run an estate, knew about as much about farming as any of the girls from Sex in the City and wasn't even sure she had the right to spend her husband's money. Ginny refused to think it could get any worse because that is precisely when it does.

  Back at the house, the groomsman helped Ginny down from the carriage. Just as she walked up the stairs, Bethany's parents opened the door and stared at her. It was plainly written on their faces that they knew something was up and were prepared to torture the information out of her. Taking a deep breath to prepare for the revelation that their new son-in-law was a lout, Ginny entered the house.

  “Young lady, we need to speak to you.” Eugenia looked like she'd been suffering from non-stop constipation for a week. Her face was red and pinched, her back ram-rod straight. “Your mother-in-law is waiting upstairs in the family drawing room.”

  Oh, goody, Ginny thought sourly, now I get to tell Colin's family what a jackass he is too. There is no escaping the good times wagon today!

  With a look of pure resignation, Ginny followed her parents up the stairs to the family drawing room. As she entered, both her mother-in-law and sister-in-law turned and watched her enter. Lord Collingsford stood up and appeared very anxious. No one said a word, they just stared at her astonishingly.

  “Mother. Father. Why don't you have a seat.” Ginny turned and closed the doors, hoping that the news of her husband's betrayal would not reach any of the other guests who remained.

  Turning back to her audience, oddly exhausted from the day's events, Ginny began her grim story. “Colin has decided to take his extended holiday to the Continent. He did not inform me of this himself, I had to find out from the butler. Somehow I'm supposed to run this house and estate on my own.”

  Finishing her speech, Ginny went to the nearest chair and dropped into it. Shoulders slumped, eyes half closed, she looked like just relaying the story had been draining. Quite frankly, it had. Ginny didn't have any more energy to exert, so she sat there like a jellyfish, with no backbone. She waited patiently for the commentary. Perhaps, intense questioning from his family.

  “Well.” It was surprising to hear Eugenia say so little.

  “Oh, my,” came from her mother-in-law.

  Assorted sighs were exchanged between Lord and Lady Collingsford.

  Last, but not least, came William, Bethany's father. “I will hunt him down and teach him a lesson in gentlemanly behavior. If he never intended to be a husband to you, Bethany, I would never have allowed this union to take place.” His voice was calm, but his face was blotched and red. “It matters not. Bethany, we will immediately petition for an annulment. The scandal will be difficult to weather, but I will not have you live this way.”

  Ginny found her first smile of the day. Not that he was really her father, but it was always nice to learn you have a protector. Even if it should have been her husband instead. Unfortunately, she needed to put an end to his hope. “There will be no annulment, Father.”

  “Bethany, you will still marry. There are plenty of good men who will overlook this incident when they learn you were the victim.”

  “Father, the church will not annul this marriage after... last night.” Ginny felt her gaze turn down. He may not be her real father, but it still wasn't something she wanted to discuss in front of Bethany's family. However, it was what it was and they needed to know.

  Peering up to see his reaction, Ginny saw William's shocked face as it turned away from her. “I assumed... I had not realized.”

  “Better not to dwell on it. Bethany, I am at your disposal. I know nothing of running an estate, but I am sure together we can make it work.” Ginny smiled at her new mother-in-law. She had been wondering whose side she would take, if she would take sides at all. Ginny didn't want her to hate her son for his bad judgment, and she didn't want to take the brunt of her anger over the possible scandal.

  “Thank you, Lady Whitmore,” Ginny whispered.

  “And Lord Collingsford and I would be happy to help. And I know that my brother employed the best estate manager around, so he will take care of most of the day to day issues.”

  “I'm sorry to tell you, Evelyn, that my husband's estate manager, Mr. Stevens, quit a few days ago and is gone.”

  “What!?” William never screamed, hadn't yelled in years and would barely speak above a quiet voice. His exclamation at hearing this news nearly made Eugenia fall out of her chair. William's face took on a dangerous color and he was breathing fast and heavy. Ginny noticed he was sweating, although the room was not warm.

  In an effort to placate him before the news gave him a heart attack, Ginny said, “Father, don't alarm yourself. I'm a strong girl and I obviously have lots of help. I will get through this. It was my mistake that led me here. I take full responsibility. Everything will be fine, you'll see.”

  Her father seemed to calm down, at least his face wasn't so red anymore. He smiled weakly at her, feeling the force of his own guilt. After all, his daughter did try to tell him that Lord Whitmore hadn't planned on marrying yet. The indiscretion could have been covered up or glossed over, but in his pride, he demanded marriage. Now his only child would be made to suffer for it. “Your mother and I will stay until you are settled. I know a man who would make a great manager. He was recently released from the Warwick estate when the old earl died. I will write him immediately to see if he would be interested in the position here.”

  “Thank you father. I wouldn't have had any idea where to hire a new manager.”

  Lady Whitmore, whose face held a perplexed look, suddenly inquired, “What mistake led you here?”

  Ginny got up and rang the bell. “This is going to take a lot more tea.” Sitting down, she started from the beginning of the story.

  Chapter 15

  One year later

  Colin was lying in bed, a beautiful senorita draped over him like a coat, dark locks spread across his chest. The pension where he was staying had views of the sea. They were so close he could hear the waves crashing against the shore and smell the salt in the air. The small town of San Sebastion was to be his last stop on his journey through the Continent. Truthfully, he was relieved. He missed his home.

  Maneuvering his way out from underneath the woman, Colin quietly got dressed. He had no interest in waking her, no interest being with her. His guilt had eaten away at his soul from almos
t the beginning of his journey. Paris, Milan, Rome, Barcelona, now here. A different woman in each city, a different betrayal of his wedding vows. He could still vaguely remember a time when he was a consummate gentleman, not even speaking to a girl if he thought she would get the wrong impression. Now, he was a rake, taking the advances of any pretty girl who was looking to supplement her meager income by becoming his demimonde.

  Colin had lost interest in sex, barely achieving an erection most nights. The woman would never comment, in fear of losing the gifts and dinners, the jewelry and clothing. Most nights, he would lie with the woman, wrapping his arms around her and pretending she was his wife. It took almost a year for him to admit that he wanted his wife back, wanted the relationship they had before the kiss. He wanted someone to talk to, debate with. He wanted her witty intelligence, her uncanny insight. Plainly, he wanted her. Bethany.

  He had often considered returning earlier, but was afraid. Was she engaged in an affair with someone else? The threat that Clarendon made on his wedding night constantly played in his mind. Well, he had messed it up and he was still trying to figure out how he would get her back.

  With the last girl, the one lying in his bed at the moment, he hadn't even consummated their relationship. She was an after thought: new city, new girl. Esmerelda was beautiful, but only spoke enough English to get by and his Spanish was deplorable. She attached herself to him almost immediately, as he checked into his lodgings. He wondered how many other foreigners she'd slept with, how many other men had made her rounds.

  Staring out at the sea, Colin felt tired. Tired of running away. He wanted his life back. He was the Earl of Whitmore and he needed to start living that life again. He needed to be a husband to his wife and possibly a father to his child.

  Colin had received many letters from Bethany over the year. At least he thought they were from her. He would refuse to read them, since they would only exacerbate his guilt. It had only recently occurred to him that he may have left Bethany pregnant after their one night together. At this moment, he could be a father, albeit an absent one. The letters had stopped a few months back, leaving him no chance to hear about home.