A Lesson in Forgiveness

by Jennifer Connors

  After dinner, they retired back to the drawing room, where Ginny was suddenly needed by a member of her staff. The doctor and Sarah were left alone, where they continued their debate. It didn't take long for Dr. Cummings to realize that this woman before him was well read, learned and well spoken. Sarah was taken by the doctor's ability to listen and accept a woman's opinion as easily as he would a any man's.

  By the time Ginny returned, she had no doubt there were sparks flying between the two. Silently congratulating herself, she asked, “If you are not busy tomorrow, Doctor, perhaps you would be so kind as to escort Miss Jones into town. I'm afraid I have much to keep me busy with my husband gone that I feel I am neglecting my guest.”

  The look on Sarah's face was precious. A cross between wanting to strangle Ginny and hug her. A fine line since both can be achieved with one's arms.

  “It would be my pleasure, Miss Jones, if you are amendable.”

  “That would be lovely.”

  “I should take my leave now. Shall we say eleven o'clock, Miss Jones. I apologize if that is too early. I have always been an early riser.”

  “As am I, Doctor. Eleven would be fine.”

  Standing to take his leave, the doctor bowed before Sarah, taking her hand and kissing the fingers. This time, he lingered and added more pressure than was proper. Ginny could see Sarah swallow at the touch. The doctor took his hostess's hand and bowed over it, barely touching his lips to her fingers.

  “Good evening, ladies. Until tomorrow, Miss Jones.” With that, he left the drawing room.

  When she was sure he was out of earshot, Sarah quirked an eyebrow to Ginny. “Do you want to explain what that was about?”

  Ginny gifted her with a big smile and answered, “You can't possibly be that obtuse.”

  “Bethany, what are you doing? You must know it is not possible.”

  “Why? You're a woman, he's a man, you're both wanting to marry and you seem to get along famously. So, please explain to me why it's not possible.”

  “Why would he want to marry a former governess?”

  Ginny's hands lifted to cover her eyes. After rubbing her eyes vigorously, she peered at Sarah over her fingers. “Look, Sarah. I don't always get who can marry who or even why someone can't marry someone else. Quite frankly, if you like him and you know you will be able to take care of one another, who the hell cares that he's a doctor and you are a former lady turned governess. Geez!”

  “It isn't so simple...” before she could finish her sentence, Ginny interrupted.

  “Who is going to talk? Do you think you'll bring him down, or that he'll bring you down?”

  Sarah, who now looked close to tears, simply bowed her head. Ginny felt bad. She certainly didn't mean to sound so snippy, but it really got under her skin that Sarah wouldn't take control of her life, demand what she wanted and follow through with it.

  It was suddenly very clear to Ginny how she had no room to talk. When Colin left her room on her wedding night, she didn't run after him. She didn't confront his bad behavior and make him take responsibility for his actions. She may have even let him go, for a few months, so he could still get to enjoy his holiday. No, instead she remained quiet, avoided the confrontation and allowed him to leave her behind.

  “I'm sorry, Sarah. I have no right to interfere. I want only for you to be happy. You've been dealt a rotten hand and I figured that you and the doctor would make a nice couple. I won't interfere any longer.” Ginny turned and left the room, quickly ascending the staircase and hiding in her room. No sooner had she closed the door did the tears come. Recognizing her own weakness, Ginny mourned the loss of her hubris. How not only in this new life, but in Scotland as well, she thought she was so much better than those around her. She had all this future knowledge, didn't depend on superstition, but was confident and educated. She would never allow any man to subjugate her. And yet, as she stood alone in her room, she knew beyond a doubt, she had done just that.

  The following day, the doctor made good on his promise and picked Sarah up promptly at eleven o'clock. Sarah was happy that their easy rapport continued, despite her objections that a marriage was impossible. They conversed about many different topics, mostly about their favorite authors and novels.

  “Would you permit me to take you to tea at the local inn. The innkeeper's wife makes the most amazing Amaretto tea cakes. I cannot in good conscience allow you to leave this village without a taste.”

  Smiling and trying not to be shy, she replied, “That sounds wonderful. Thank you, Dr. Cummings.”

  “Would it be terribly forward of me to have you call me Charles?”

  Sarah knew she should refuse. It was a liberty that a woman of her station, even despite her poverty, should never allow. And she would have done just that, except her mouth betrayed her. “I should like that very much, Charles. I would be pleased if you call me Sarah.”

  Turning his deep blue eyes toward her, he smiled. “Thank you, Sarah. I feel as if I've known you for so long now. I can hardly believe we only met yesterday.”

  “You are very easy to talk to, and very knowledgeable.” Sarah inwardly groaned. She was nervous and it was making her sound like a ninny.

  “As are you. Lady Whitmore mentioned that you plan to leave soon. May I ask how soon?”

  “I had planned to leave by the end of the week.” Sarah, feeling tears entering her eyes, looked away toward the passing trees.

  “Is there any way you might be able to delay your departure?” Charles hated to sound desperate, but couldn't seem to hide his feelings.

  “I am afraid not. My sister is expecting me.”

  “Oh,” was his only reply. They rode in silence for a few minutes, each in their own contemplation. Charles, figuring she didn't feel the same way, decided that it didn't have to ruin their pleasant drive together. So he began their conversation again, this time choosing the topic of healthcare, one which he was intimately familiar.

  When he returned her to Wellesley Hall, he descended the carriage and came around to personally assist her down. Holding her hand to steady her, Charles felt old and nearly forgotten stirrings inside himself. He had loved his wife and never imagined he would ever find someone who could replace her, but suddenly this woman was creeping into his heart, when no other woman had managed to. But, she was leaving very shortly.

  Walking her up the stairs, Ginny opened the door to greet them. “Dr. Cummings, Miss Jones, please come in.”

  “I should be going, Lady Whitmore, but thank you for the invitation.”

  “Dr. Cummings, please come in and take some refreshment. I'm sure the drive was dusty and you must be thirsty.” Ginny figured that although she couldn't manage her own life that well, she could at least manage the lives of others. It was the perfect distraction from thinking about herself.

  “Very well.”

  Sarah, who didn't want to get caught up in her friend's machinations, simply said, “If you both will excuse me, I need to freshen up.” Ginny learned that was code for “go to the can.”

  “Of course, Sarah. Please join us when you can. We'll be in the Yellow Salon.”

  Offering his arm, Ginny and Dr. Cummings walked to the back of the house. Ginny ordered lemonade from the footman. She sat down on one of the armchairs, leaving the settee open for both the doctor and Sarah to sit on. “Please, Doctor, have a seat.”

  “I really should be going, Lady Whitmore. I have ignored my duties all afternoon.”

  “Do you like her, Doctor?” Desperate times called for bold measures. Neither seemed inclined to make a move, so Ginny needed to push it.

  “I beg your pardon?” Charles was nearly knocked over by her cheekiness. He had met many women who enjoyed interfering in his life, but never had any been so audacious.

  “Do you like Sarah? I know I shouldn't be asking, but she plans to leave so if you are going to make a move, now is the time.”

  Finally taking the seat Ginny offered, Charles considered her statement. “Lady
Whitmore, Sarah is inclined to leave by the end of the week. I do not see what I can do to change that.”

  Standing up, Ginny walked behind the settee where Charles sat, and using the fan she was forced to carry, she smacked him in the head. “Dr. Cummings, do you like being happy? I see how you look at her and I see how she looks at you. Dear God, take control. If you want her, tell her. Make her see that you can make her happy. Reject all her objections and be bold.”

  Rubbing his head, Charles turned and looked at Ginny. He should have been angry, but instead, he was incredibly thankful. “You are quite right, Lady Whitmore.”

  “And stop calling me that. My name is Bethany and I should very much like you to use it.”

  Smiling despite her irritated tone, he nodded. “Thank you, Bethany. Do you think you might give me some time alone with Miss Jones?”

  “Duh.” Was all she said. The footman returned with a tray of lemonade at the same time Miss Jones returned from the bathroom. Serving the drinks, the footman retreated out the door and it gave Ginny an idea. “Oh, my, I forgot I needed to talk to Mrs. Simmons about something. If you two will excuse me, I need to take care of that.”

  Without looking back, Ginny hightailed it out of the room and closed the door behind her. Smiling at her plan, she figured she should leave them alone for at least a half hour to work things out. Ginny had little doubt that by the end of the thirty minutes, Miss Sarah Jones would be the happiest woman in the world.

  “Some lemonade, Sarah?” Charles stood, glass in hand, ready to serve her.

  “Thank you, Charles.” Sarah had thought about not joining Bethany and Charles. After all, she knew Bethany would only meddle again. After a time, she felt sorry for Charles, who was likely having to listen to their hostess pry into his life.

  Charles waited for Sarah to take a seat, then took the seat across from her. Neither said a word. Sarah was trying to determine how long she had to stay to be polite and Charles was considering every approach he could use to get her to become his wife. After a short time, it became uncomfortable.

  Sick of being passive, pulling from his esteemed hostess' advice, Charles decided to be bold. “May I ask why you have not yet married?”

  Whipping her head to look directly in his eyes, she muttered, “I do not see how that is any of your concern, Doctor.”

  “I only asked because I wish to court you and eventually have you as my wife.”

  Sarah's mouth gaped opened like a fish. “Sir, that is highly inappropriate.”

  The doctor quirked his eyebrow and smiled. “Why? I was only being honest.”

  “I am a governess. Surely you would not wish to marry me.”

  Taking her hands in his, holding on when she tried to pull away, Charles pleaded his case. “You are the most intelligent, caring, sweet and beautiful woman I have met in a long time. Despite your unfortunate occupation, why would I not want to marry you?”

  “I have nothing to offer. No dowry awaits you if you choose to marry me.”

  “I do not need your money, Sarah. I am not wealthy, but I live comfortably. I can more than take care of you and any children.”

  “Children?” she gasped.

  Charles realized his mistake. It was one thing to be bold, it was another to be stupid. “Not right away, if you wish to wait.”

  “I am thirty years old, Charles. Surely too old to start having children.”

  “As a doctor, I can tell you that it is not too old to have children. I have assisted in delivering many women over thirty.” Charles seemed pleased that he could offer comfort from his knowledge.

  “That is not the point. Did Bethany put you up to this? I am more than capable of taking care of myself. I do not need or desire your charity!” Sarah's face was red with her indignation. How dare they plot behind my back. I am not a child, she thought petulantly.

  Charles sat next to her on the settee. He grabbed her face with both his hands and forced her to look at him. “I am not asking you to marry me on a whim and I am certainly not asking you at the suggestion of someone else. Although I am quite certain our hostess arranged for us to be together because she was certain we would suit, she has nothing to do with my declaration. I want you, Sarah. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” With that, he bent down and kissed her. He continued to kiss her past her protestations and he continued when she finally relented and began to respond. Before long, she was kissing him back with as much fervor as he showed.

  When he finally pulled away, he saw the satisfied look on her face and smiled. “Well?” was all he asked.

  Letting out a sigh, she nodded and said, “Yes, Charles. I will marry you.”

  “Thank you. I believe you've made me the happiest man in England.”

  “Only England?” she replied with a silly smile on her face.

  “Very well, then. The entire world!”

  Just as Charles bent his head to kiss her again, Ginny walked into the room. The couple pulled away and stared at her as she entered the room.

  “Well, I'm glad that was taken care of. Now, do you either of you have any interesting news to tell me.”

  “It seems my wife has a good eye for matchmaking,” Colin replied at the end of the story. More than the story, he was captivated how each person contributed, adding their own tidbits to enhance the tale. Bethany had made good friends with Dr. and Mrs. Cummings. He noted how she called them both by their given names. He realized that she took that liberty with just about anybody.

  “You'd have to be blind not to see their compatibility.” Ginny didn't want compliments. She wanted only to survive the evening.

  “Lady Whitmore, I believe Sarah has some good news for you.”

  “Charles!” Sarah stared at her husband, not wanting to bring it up. She wondered if it would hurt her friend to know that she was pregnant. Sarah understood the loneliness Bethany had been feeling this past year while her husband had been away.

  “Good news? I am always in want of good news.”

  Reluctantly, Sarah looked at her friend. “Charles and I are expecting.” Her statement was nearly whispered, afraid to hurt her friend's feelings.

  Ginny's hands flew to her mouth and exclaimed, “That is tremendous news. I am so happy for you both. When is the baby due?”

  Charles, who couldn't refrain any longer, said, “Mid-April, as far as we can figure.”

  Ginny stood up and walked to her friend. Grabbing both hands in hers, with a glistening of her eyes, she said, “That is wonderful. A spring baby. You shall have to come up with a clever name to mark the occasion.”

  “One thing at a time, Bethany.”

  Pearce entered and announced dinner. Dr. Cummings took his wife's arm and escorted her out of the room. Colin stood and held out his arm to his wife. Ginny took it begrudgingly, not wanting to make a scene. Walking slightly behind the other couple, he said in a hushed tone, “That was very kind of you to bring them together.”

  “I needed someone to be happy.” As the words left her lips, Ginny realized how catty they were. She spent the better part of the afternoon trying to figure out how she was going to get past this. Was she going to spend the rest of her life throwing his behavior back into his face?

  Colin could not respond. He was fairly certain that making up to his wife was going to be infinitely harder than he first imagined. Not that he ever expected her to just forgive him. He just hadn't realized that his honest wife would be so passive-aggressive. He had expected, and was willing to bear, the screaming and yelling. This side of her was new to him. A lot had happened in one year to change his wife, and not for the better.

  Dinner was subdued, although Ginny did try to appear cheerful. She was happy for Charles and Sarah. They had been trying to conceive since their wedding night. Fortunately, Dr. Cummings took it as a sign that the recently reunited couple wanted to be alone. So as soon as could be done politely, he and his wife took their leave.

  Ginny walked them to the door, with Colin close behind.
“Good night, Charles, Sarah. Congratulations again. Please let me know if I can help.”

  After the door closed, Ginny turned and began to walk up the stairs. She didn't acknowledge her husband, couldn't acknowledge him. Every fiber of her being screamed for her to get away from him. She wanted to yell and scream, but wouldn't do it in front of the staff. Despite the past year, despite her own behavior, she had too much pride for that.

  “Will you not join me for a drink, Bethany?”

  Without looking over her shoulder, she replied, “No.” Ginny kept walking up the steps until she was safely in her bedroom. After ringing for Tabby, she began to take off her jewelry. There was an empty feeling in her stomach. As much as she wanted to move on, she couldn't fake her feelings after what had happened. After not speaking up to his treatment on their wedding night, she could hardly just let it go now.

  Tabby entered the room and went about preparing Ginny for bed. Hot water was left in her pitcher and Ginny went about her nightly routine on automatic pilot. Undress, wash up, hair brushed, get dressed in her nightgown. Nothing was registering, like getting lost in your thoughts while driving and finding yourself at your destination with no conscious memory of it.

  Tabby remained quiet as well. Over the past year, she had come to recognize Ginny's moods. Depending on the mood, Tabby knew how to react. Some, like this one, told her to keep quiet and leave Ginny be. So, when the routine was complete, she said goodnight, picked up Ginny's dirty clothing and left through her dressing room.

  Ginny was grateful. There was nothing to talk about, nothing to work out. She just needed some time to get used to the fact that Colin was home. The least he could have done was send a letter, let her prepare. But no, he decided that surprise was his best option.

  In a fog, Ginny stared out her bedroom window at the gardens. When she'd had to let half the staff go, including many of the gardeners, Ginny had taken up horticulture. In her own time, she possessed two black thumbs, opting to not even keep houseplants over the cruel treatment she inflicted on them. She wouldn't have a pet, afraid of coming home one day and finding it dead from neglect. But now, she knew most of what was needed to care for a large garden. She weeded and raked, planted and watered. When they had money to spend again, she took over a small plot and made it her own, planting colorful flowers.