by T. S. Hill
“Ranchers wear jogging suits? Never mind.”, I said. “Did you pack it for this trip?”
“Si”, Rosita spoke up. “Is packed.” I cut my eyes at Rosita.
“We’re going to have to have a conversation about your language skills, and soon.”, I told her, raising my eyebrows.
“Cowboy, I think that Rosita’s English skills are coming along nicely.”, Lori said.
“Hmph! Well, we have other, more important, things to consider tonight.”, I groused.
“I suppose we need to get back to the guest house, so Sasha and I can get changed. Did any of you happen to pack a pair of my athletic shoes?”
“Yeah, I threw those in as an afterthought, when you said we could pack more on the chopper.”, Sasha piped up.
“Did all three of you pack for me?”, I asked.
“Yes!”, they all answered at once. But before I could say anything else, we all heard Al roaring at the top of his lungs from somewhere inside the rear hallway.
“Sonofabitch!” Then there was a thundering crash that also came from the hallway. I quickly punched the code into the door pad, and yanked open the door as the lock clicked.
“Al, you alright?”, I yelled into the entrance foyer.
“Yeah,”, I heard him drawl back. “Just put my fist through the damn wall is all. You and your women go on and get ready. I’ll get Mrs. Baker to give me an ice bag for my hand. Tony’s gonna love patching this one. It went all the way through to the kitchen pantry. Probably a damn mess in there too. Go on now! Tony and I will be around to get you before you know it.”
“Okay, Al.”, I told him. “We’ll be waiting for you.” I shut the door back, and motioned for the women to get in the golf cart.
“Is he okay?”, Lori asked.
“Yeah. Put his fist through the wall, all the way into the kitchen pantry. I guess he read Sasha’s report on Francine.
“Odd, huh?”, Lori said. “That report scared the hell out of me, but it just pissed him off.”
“Actually, I think he’s pissed at himself.”, I retorted. “And maybe a bit scared too. And, well, yeah, pissed at Francine. Well, now we know, and Al knows, for sure just who, and what, we’re dealing with. That makes our little mission tonight, a really big mission.”, I stated, starting the golf cart forward with a lurch. “The next two or three hours will make or break this whole situation for Al, and us.
Chapter Five
Into the Night
Plans never go according to plan. Even when you don’t have a plan, they still don’t go according to plan.
Back in the guest house, Sasha and I changed clothes, while Lori and Rosita freshened up for their roles as party girls. After I changed, I went to the great room, where I took one look at Lori and Rosita, and asked them what was wrong with their makeup. That’s not the smartest question to ever ask a woman, and that became quickly apparent.
“We’re not trying to look good, Cowboy.”, Lori started in on me. “We’re trying to look like authentic party girls. You have to wear extra heavy makeup, when you’re out at night in dim lit clubs, and what the hell kind of comment is that anyway? What’s wrong with our make up?”
“Nothing!”, I quickly stated. “It just isn’t what I’m used to seeing you both wear.”
“So, we have to look the same, every fucking day and night?”, she asked back.
“Look. I’ve stepped in it, and I’m sorry. I’ve never seen either of you look just the way you do right now. It’s different. That’s all. I didn’t mean anything negative. I chose poor words. Please, can we leave this subject now?”
“Okay, Cowboy.”, Lori calmed a bit. I guess I’m just jittery about this whole operation. We haven’t planned any of this except how Al plans to sneak you in. After that, what? Do you know your way around in there? Will there be guards in the building? Will it be lit, dark, have windows? I mean what the hell are we getting into”
“Al has thought this out carefully. That may not seem very comforting, because he comes across much like Aug does, but like Aug, beneath that bumbling communication, outer person is a very complex genius. But, if you can’t trust Al’s judgement on this, at least trust the faith that I have in his ability to have the logistics of this all thought through.”
“Cowboy, sometimes I wonder if you don’t have spells of thinking like Al and Aug communicate. But, right now, I’m just worried. You know who we’re up against here, and that always scares the hell out of me!”
“This is Al’s home turf. We’ll be fine. The main keys here are for me to not be seen, and to get Sasha safely in, get her job done, and then back out again. Just lighten up and enjoy the ride.”
“I’ve never ridden in a limo.”, Rosita ventured. Have you Lori?”
“No.”, answered Lori. “And, I could do without it still, if there were a better way to get this data copy done.”
“Well, I’m ready, I guess.”, Sasha said from somewhere behind me. Turning to look at her, I almost opened my mouth, but then thought better of it. I was thinking, what is wrong with this outfit? But what I said was nothing. I had already stepped into it about Lori’s and Rosita’s makeup. I wasn’t touching this. She had on black yoga pants and a black, long-sleeved, skin tight, elastic shirt, that appeared to be made out of the same form fitting material as her black yoga pants, and a pair of black flats on her feet. For all practical purposes, she may as well have been naked, and spray painted black. It was a damn hot look, and did accomplish our goal of wearing dark clothes. But I couldn’t imagine her wearing this anywhere but lounging around the house.
“Can you run in those shoes?”, I asked, finally giving up on remaining speechless.
“Like a gazelle!”, she popped back.
“Then, I guess that we’re ready.”, I said. Shall we go out to the side portico and wait for the car?” We all walked out of the house and around to the side portico, arriving just as Tony pulled up in the limo with Al in the back seat. Tony got out and opened the back door for Lori and Rosita to climb in.
“Mr. Longworth says that you and Miss Adamson should join him and the other ladies in the back, until we get closer to the plant office. He’s afraid that you won’t be very comfortable back there for such a lengthy ride.”
“I’ve forgotten how long it takes to get to the plant from here, Tony. How long of a ride is it?”, I asked.
“At this time of night, only about twenty-five minutes.”, Tony answered,
“That’s twenty minutes too long for my semi-claustrophobic ass.”, I said, moving around to the other side of the car and opening the door. It was then that Tony got the full view of Sasha.
“Oh, my!”, He exclaimed. “You look like a naked Negro with a Caucasian head!” That just pulled Sasha’s chain.
“To start with, nobody uses that n word anymore!”, Sasha chastised him. And you of all fucking people have no place criticizing a woman’s appearance. Didn’t fag school teach you any fucking manners?”
Tony threw both of his hands in the air, and looking wide eyed at Sasha, said, “I’m sorry, I was trying to make a friendly joke. I really didn’t mean anything bad. You’re not going to hit me, are you? I am so sorry!”
“Oh… just drive the fucking car!”, Sasha screamed at him. Tony jerked the driver’s door back open, and was halfway in, when Sasha unleashed on him again.
“Not just this very fucking second, dumbass!”, she yelled. “You’ve got to close these fucking suicide limo doors after I get in! Somebody move over and let me in, she shouted into the car, “before I go back into the fucking house! I didn’t sign on for this shit!” Finally, she climbed in, and Tony closed the doors, and resumed his position at the steering wheel, removing his chauffer’s cap. It stayed silent in the car, while Tony slowly negotiated the drive around the houses and down to the front entrance gate. Once he pulled the limo out into the street, Sasha spoke again.
“I’m sorry everybody. I’m as nervous as a congealed salad in an earthquake.”, I shouldn’t have b
een so snappy. But he shouldn’t have called me a n word, Caucasian whatever the fuck it was, either.
“Tony!”, Al barked.
“I’m so sorry, Miss Adamson!”, Tony gushed. That whole joke I was trying to make was in such poor taste. I can’t imagine what came over me! I’m a little nervous about this escapade too. I’ve never been on an undercover spy mission before!”
“Al, when Annette signs you up for those communication lessons, you might wanna take Tony with you!”, Sasha said.
“I’ll definitely give that some thought, Sasha!”, Al said loudly. And I also apologize on behalf of Tony. Now you see why we keep him in the kitchen.”, he said chuckling.
“Sorry about the fag school, comment Tony.”, Sasha said loudly. “That was uncalled for too.”
“Apology accepted.”, Tony said eagerly. “Will you please accept my apology also, Miss Adamson?”
“If you call me Miss Adamson again I won’t!”, Sasha growled.
“What should I call you?”, Tony asked.
“For breakfast!”, Sasha shot back, and cackled laughing. Al chuckled.
Lori said, “Sheesh!”
“Abre el champagne por favor!”, Rosita sighed.
Al laughed at what Rosita said.
“There’s going to be champagne?”, Sasha asked.
“Only as a prop.”, I commented. “And Tony, we aren’t spies on a secret undercover mission. We work for Al, and we are retrieving Al’s data, as a part of our investigation, and work for him. We just prefer to keep this little data retrieval private for some very sensitive reasons.”
Yes, Sasha, Tagg’s right, the champagne is only for a prop.”, Al spoke up. “That is, until our top secret, undercover, spy mission is completed. And, if we’re successful, I think that’s reason enough, to just let the champagne flow!”
“Thanks Al!”, I said sarcastically.
“Now, Tagg,”, he replied, not just to me, “Everybody has their undershorts in a twist, and I think everything will go a lot smoother if we all just lighten up a bit.”
“Not me.”, Lori quipped. “I’m already lighter, because I’m not wearing any.”
“What?”, Al drawled, not fully understanding.
“Undershorts! I’m not wearing any!”, Lori piped up loudly.
“I guess I asked for that!”, Al said, and I could see his head shaking back and forth as we sped past the street lights. All three of the women were giggling.
“Holy cow.”, Al mumbled, “Negro Caucasians, congealed salad, earthquakes, and no underwear, and maybe champagne. What have I got myself into?”
“Two miles, Mr. Longworth.”, Tony called out.
“Pull around to the back of that strip mall up ahead Tony. That’ll be as good of a place as any, for Tagg and Sasha to get in the trunk.”
“I’m beginning to think that I should have dressed as your chauffer Al, and just skipped the trunk thing.”, I said.
“Tight spaces bother you too, Babe?”, Sasha asked.
“Yeah.”, I answered.
“A not so neat thing that we share.”, Sasha quipped. “I’ll be glad when we quit uncovering not so neat things that we share, and start uncovering neat things that we share.”, she replied.
“Oh, I’m sure that there’s plenty of those Sash, but I doubt that we uncover any of them tonight.”
“A girl can wish!”, She shot back.
“Well, get ready to wish from the car trunk.”, I said, as we pulled through the strip mall parking lot. “Here we go.”
Once Sasha and I were settled into the bottom of the limo trunk, and cuddled against each other. It really wasn’t half as bad as I had anticipated.
Just before Tony closed the trunk he stopped and asked, “Are you ready?”
“Ready.”, Sasha and I said simultaneously.
“I’ll settle for that neatness, I guess.”, she commented.
“Sasha,”, Tony said to her in a hushed voice. “I really am sorry about the bad wise crack. I think you’re a lovely young lady, and obviously brave too, to be doing this undercover mission and all.”
“Just shut the fucking trunk lid Toney!”, she snapped at him. And, he immediately pushed it shut. “Sheesh!”, she said. “You know Babe,”, she said in a hushed voice, “I’ve got mixed feelings about whether or not he’s really gay.”
“Really?”, I whispered back. “If he’s not, then maybe he’s pretending to be a lot of other things that he’s not either.”
“Could be.”, She whispered back.
“Now you tell me this, after he’s locked us in the trunk.”, I groused in a whisper.
“Don’t worry, Babe.”, she continued to whisper in the dark. “Do you see that glow in the dark thing over here, beside my waist?”
“Yeah.”, I answered.
“That’s the emergency internal latch release. We just pull that, and the trunk pops open.”
“And how would that stop Tony from doing other damage to Al, or our investigation?”, I whispered back loudly.
“Shush!”, she whispered back at me. “I’ll check him out tonight before I go to bed.”, She promised. “Meanwhile, we need to keep an eye on him.”
“Yah think?”, I whispered.
“Hey!”, it’s just a hunch, that just now came to me. Lighten the fuck up, Babe.
“Sorry.”, I whispered in response.
“You really do get tense in tight places, don’t you, Babe?”, she said almost aloud. Someone, knocked loudly on the rear window deck. I supposed to either tell us to be quiet, or that we were approaching the guard gate at the plant, or both.
“Shush!”, I told Sasha. Then, in the pitch dark of the limo trunk, I found her lips and gently kissed her. After that, the car stopped, and I could hear Al talking loudly to the gate guards, as if he’d had a few too many, with Lori and Rosita giggling and laughing loudly.
“Hold my champagne glass, Lori, while I pour more for Rosita.”, Al said loudly as the car moved forward again. The car made a few hard left and right turns and then came to a stop again. The trunk lid cracked up a few inches, and I heard Al’s voice.
“Tagg hold this trunk lid down for about thirty seconds. When I get inside I’ll kill the lobby lights. Tony disabled the trunk interior light, but stay low at least until you get inside. I’ll be waiting just inside the door for you two. Tony, Lori and Rosita will wait in the car and keep a watch for us.
“Okay!”, I whispered loudly, grabbing the emergency latch pull, and staring a thirty second count down in my head. I gave Al what I figured was fifty seconds, just in case he wasn’t as quick as he estimated in killing the interior lights, then climbed out of the trunk and helped Sasha out. Carefully closing the trunk lid gently, she and I crept along on all fours in almost squatting positions, and finally reached the cracked open door. When we were both inside, I heard the door shut and the latch catch. It was so pitch dark, that I couldn’t see anything. Then, Al spoke up.
“I killed the alarm, but we can’t turn on any lights until we get in the IT room. There are no windows in there. Hang on to the back of my coat and follow me.”, he said.
“Al, for crying out loud,”, I said. “Please go slow, and not like you usually walk. I can’t keep up with you in the daylight, much less in this pitch blackness!”
“Did you think that I was gonna run, Tagg?”, he asked, then chuckled. “Just hang on tightly to my coat. I know the way, and fortunately it’s an easy path. It’s the first right turn in the hallway, then the first room on the right.”
“Sash, hold on for dear life.”, I told her. Unlike what he said, Al moved swiftly and confidently along the corridor, practically slinging me off of his jacket tails when he made the right turn. Then, I almost slammed into him when he abruptly stopped at the first door on the right. I heard keys jingling and the door click open. As soon as we were completely inside, Al spoke again.
“If you’ll turn me loose now Tagg, I’ll close the door and turn on the light. Thank you!”, he said as I dropped his
coat tail. In a moment, bright LED lights glowed on in the ceiling.
“Woah!”, Sasha said, upon viewing the computer banks, terminals, routing and network equipment. “Fucking state of the art!”, she awed, reaching into her yoga pants and pulling out a thumb drive. “Two hundred and fifty-six gigs.”, she said. “If that’s not enough, I’ve got three more.”
“Where the hell did you have that?”, I asked.
“Don’t worry, Babe. Nowhere weird. There’s a little change pocket sewn just inside of these yoga tights or pants, or whatever you call them. They’re comfortable as hell though, and sure keep the chill of the air-conditioning off of my lovely sensitive skin. You should try a pair of these, Babe. No, shit, they’re really that comfortable…”
“Sash!”, I stopped her. “Later, on the freaking yoga pants! Remember what we’re here for. Every minute that goes by is one that makes it easier for us to get caught here. Please! Let’s get this done!”
“Shure thing Babe!”, she sounded almost chipper. Turning toward one of the PC’s that was lit up at one of the small desks, she said, “Let’s see what this little baby right here can give me.” As she took the seat and began typing on the keyboard, she called out over her shoulder to Al, “You should fire your IT people. This thing isn’t even password protected.
“That’s exactly my plan.”, Al answered, tugging at my elbow, pulling me back toward the door. “Actually, it’s Tagg’s plan. On your recommendation, I plan to follow through with it.”, He finished telling Sasha, then turned to whisper to me. “Tagg, that outfit she’s wearing really is as bad as Tony said. She looks like somebody sprayed her naked body black!”
“Yeah, but at least, it’s one hot body!”, I whispered back.
“I didn’t say it wasn’t.”, he countered. “I’m just saying that I can see why Tony got rattled.”
“I thought that Tony was gay.”, I whispered back to Al. What’s with that?”
“He thinks that I think he’s gay. But, no Tagg. He’s not anymore gay than you are.”
