Who Needs Air

by Cassie Graham

  Their steps urgent, Jennings and Whitley rush to me and Lily turns my body to face her. “She’s going to be okay.”

  Whitley places her hand on my shoulder. “She will be.”

  “We’re here for you,” Jennings offers.

  I bob my head, but none of their words register.

  Four days have passed since Mama had her heart attack and she’s still not awake. She’s breathing on her own, which the doctor said is a good sign. She just, “isn’t ready to wake up. She’s fighting, so have hope.” All I see is her frail body, cold and asleep. I can’t imagine anything beyond that.

  Jennings and Whitley went home yesterday and since then, the hospital room has felt incredibly empty. Lily had to go back to work, so it’s just been me and my thoughts.

  It’s not a good combination.

  I readjust myself on the deep pink, faux leather chair next to Mama’s bed and pull out my book.

  Just as my lids begin to fall, heavy from over tiredness, someone knocks on the door.

  I shake my head and force my eyelids to open.

  Standing in the door, in light blue jeans and a gray t-shirt, is August. His eyes fall to me for a couple of seconds before he rushes to Mama. “How is she?”

  My mouth falls open and my hand drops to my chest. “She’s…How?” My fingers touch my parted lips. “What are you doing here?”

  He caresses Mama’s forehead with his thumb, pushing her hair back. “I came as soon as I heard.”

  “Heard from whom? How did you know we were here?”

  “Jennings. He told me everything. I got on the first plane I could.”

  Pushing my body up in the chair, I rub my eyes. “What about Tomi? The baby?”

  August stares at Mama, his lips pressing into a hard line. “They’re both fine. How’s Millie?”

  Confused, I shove my hair out of my face and clear my throat. “The doctors say she could wake up at any time.”

  “She’s going to be okay?”

  I move my body to edge of the chair to take hold of her clammy hand. “I think so. She just,” I stop to breathe. “She just needs to. Wake. Up.” The last two words come out staccato.

  August leans down, kissing Mama on the forehead. “She will.”

  I grimace, pinching the skin between my eyebrows. “August, it’s wonderful you’re here but don’t you have a family to be with?”

  He chews on the inside of his lip, standing back to look at Mama. “I…I don’t know.”

  My heart stops.

  He hangs his head and swallows hard. “Tomi had the baby and I haven’t even seen her yet.”

  “How is that possible?”

  He shrugs his shoulders. “Tomi didn’t want me in the delivery room and she’s forbidden me to see her. She went straight from the hospital to her apartment.”

  I stand. “No one was in the delivery room with her?” That’s weird. Why wouldn’t she let him in the room? Why would she shut him out? If the baby is his, he has every right.

  He laughs and then pulls at his pinched mouth. “She wanted Andy.”

  “Andy, Andy? Your publicist? Why?”

  His arms hang low and limp at his sides. “I don’t know. I didn’t even know they were that close.”

  What world has he been living in? It was obvious from the moment she threatened me that something sketchy was going on with them.

  “Why in the hell haven’t you seen her since she had the…”

  Mama begins to cough, her eyes fluttering open and I rush to her, my conversation with August put to a halt. “Mama?”

  August stares, wide-eyed.

  She coughs again, pointing at the cup of water at the edge of her bed on the table. August grabs it and holds the straw to her mouth. She lazily guzzles and licks her lips when she’s done. She smiles, whispering thank you to August and squeezes my hand.

  August tugs the blanket around her waist higher.

  She clears her throat, her eyes fluttering in my direction. “Hi, darlin’.” She smiles, her head moving slowly toward August. “Hey, handsome.”

  August chuckles and grips her other hand. “Good to see you, Millie.”

  “Only took me having a heart attack.”

  I laugh, feeling light for the first time in days.

  “I’m sorry,” he says, looking down at their connected hands.

  “It’s fine,” she whispers, then turns her head to look at me and then back to August. Her eyes narrow. “Seems I’ve missed a lot.” Her voice is raspy, like sandpaper on a ridged piece of wood.

  I smile, caressing the top of her hand. August snickers, but stops, his phone buzzing in his jeans. He pulls it out and reads the name. “I’m sorry. I gotta take this.”

  Mama sighs and turns her head, her tired but bright eyes finding me. August answers his phone and he mumbles into the receiver, angrily turning away from us.

  “He okay?” Mama asks.

  My mouth turns to the side and I shrug. How can someone be okay with what he’s gone through?

  August hangs up his phone, rotating toward us, his expression grim. “I gotta go.” He moves to Mama, kissing her cheek and then walks to me, kissing my forehead.

  Just like a great book, read far too quickly, our visit is over. With fluid steps, he walks out of Mama’s room.

  Well, Hell’s Bells

  “Mama, want to have dinner outside tonight?” I yell from the kitchen as I throw some lettuce in the salad spinner.

  “Sounds good, darlin’. As long as it’s not fish,” she says from her living room and I hear the page of a magazine turn.

  She came home from the hospital almost three weeks ago and though she won’t allow me to stay with her overnight, I’ve been spending a lot of my time here, helping her mend and acclimate to her new life.

  The doctors said she’s recovering quickly and though she moves slower now, her surgery still fresh and incision not yet healed, she’s doing well. With a change in diet and more exercise, she should be back at one hundred percent in no time.

  The diet change will be the biggest hurdle for Mama. She’s a southern belle, and belles run on fried chicken and bacon grease. True story.

  Pulling the salmon out of the oven, I quickly throw some vegetables in a bowl and toss it. Piling our plates full of fresh salad and fish, I take hold of them and make my way to the living room. “Ready to eat?”

  Mama sets her magazine down and winces as she pulls herself off the chair. Step after tentative and determined step, we make our way into the yard to the picnic bench. Mama slides her legs in and sits down, licking her lips when I set her plate in front of her.

  Her face falls. “Fish?”

  Wagging my finger, I shake my head. “Doctor’s orders, Mama.”

  “If I never see another fish in my life, I’ll be as happy as a pig in a puddle of mud.”

  I laugh, pouring her a cup of water.

  “Sweet tea?”

  I blow air out of my cheeks. “No. No sweet tea.”

  She grumbles, moodily picking up her glass. “I’m going to keel over and die from blandness. Death by lack of flavor.”

  I give her a pointed look. “Mama, now, stop it. That’s not funny. Don’t even joke about that.”

  She sets her cup down and pushes her hair over her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

  I giggle and take a bite of salmon.

  We finish our dinner and spend the rest of the evening sitting on the porch, listening to the crickets sing their symphony.

  I’ve got my head propped back against the rocking chair when Mama asks, “Heard from August lately?”

  “Not since he was at the hospital.”

  “Nothing in the headlines?”

  I swivel my head, looking her way. “You know I don’t read that stuff.”

  Her mouth turns down and she pushes back on her rocking chair. We sit in quiet for a while, watching the fireflies dance in the yard. They move and sway to natures tune and I feel a serenity rush over me.

  I close
my eyes.

  Even after everything with August, I can truly say my life was better because I knew him. I only got him for a small amount of time, but so unlike a lot of people, I got to feel an all-consuming love. Though it got taken away, I can live the rest of my life knowing what we did was…

  “Belle?”

  My eyes snap open and August walks up the stairs of the porch. He smiles a nervous smile and raises his hand, saying hello to Mama.

  “August?”

  Mama grunts. “Well, hell’s bells, that’s my cue. Goodnight, kids. Love you both.”

  She pushes herself off the rocking chair and slowly walks into the house, shutting the heavy blue door behind her.

  August chuckles, looking down at his feet. His Chuck Taylors peek out of his jeans and the red and black plaid shirt is rolled up to his elbows.

  “What’s going on?”

  August’s mouth turns down and he takes another step up the stairs, stopping at the last one. He stands so tall and beautiful mere feet in front of me. “I went to your apartment first but you weren’t there, so I called Lily and she said you were here at Millie’s.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I was wonderin’…”

  I stand, no longer able to stay in my seat. The cool breeze picks up, offering a reprieve, the mist of sweat beading on my neck.

  “I was wonderin’ if maybe you’d like to go to Disneyland with me?”

  My nose wrinkles and I sputter. “What?” He’s done lost his mind.

  “Disneyland,” he says, looking at me like I’ve got two heads or something. “We’ve both never been and I wanna go.”

  “August, we can’t just up and leave for Disneyland. It’s,” I stop to look at my watch, “it’s nearing nine at night. Plus, what the hell is going on? What about Tomi? What about the baby? I haven’t heard from you in weeks and now you’re showin’ up at my Mama’s house out of the blue, wanting to take me to Disneyland.”

  My head hurts.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t call.”

  I pinch my forehead. “You should be.” His communications skills seriously need to be worked on. I hate that he did that when we were younger – it just never seemed like a big issue until recently.

  “I’ve made so many mistakes, Belle. I did what I thought was right instead of taking the time to find out the truth.”

  I let go of my skin. “Your southern blood runs thick through your veins, Wyatt.”

  He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and sniffles. “I’m so sorry, Belle.”

  “So you’ve said.” I take a tentative step toward him, placing my hand on his cheek. He pushes his face farther into my hand, my thumb caressing his skin. My fingers tingle at the contact.

  “Have you watched the news at all today?” he asks, peeking up at me from under his lashes.

  I rear back. What’s with everyone asking me that today? “What? No. I’ve been here all day and left my phone at home. Mama needed some help with the house. Besides, I don’t read or listen to any of that junk.”

  “You should watch it. It can be pretty informative.” He’s standing right in front of me now, his shoes bump into my sandals. I can feel the heat from his body against my skin.

  I shake my head, confused as to where he’s going with this. “It’s all trash, August. You and I both know that.”

  He looks away from me to the side of the house where Mama has her garden growing. “I turned in my second book today.”

  I light up and fling my arms around him. I’d been wondering about it since I left. I’d hoped he finished it. “That’s great.” I beam. “I’m so proud of you.”

  He chuckles and hugs me back with ferocity, holding me tighter than he’s held me in so long, his arms almost feel foreign. His head falls to the crook of my neck. “I was finally able to write a conclusion to the book. I handed it in early this morning.”

  The bags under his eyes tell me he wrote all night.

  “The baby isn’t mine, Belle,” he whispers against my skin and I pull back, getting a good look at his face. There’s sadness, of course, but there’s no guilt. “The baby’s not mine and the news broke today.”

  Is that why he wanted me to watch the news?

  “It’s…it’s not?”

  He shakes his head, his eyes wide under his dark black frames.

  “How long have you known?”

  He takes a deep breath. “Almost a week.”

  My mouth falls open. “You’re just now getting here? What the hell, August?”

  He pulls at his hair. “I had to finish the book, Belle. I couldn’t come here with an unfinished book. Not when I wrote the entire thing for you.”

  My breath hitches. “You did?”

  He lets out all the air in his lungs. “Of course. Why do you think I didn’t want you to read it until I was done?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe it sucked.” A ghost of a smile tugs at my lips.

  He laughs and gives me a pointed stare.

  We’re quiet for a second and a car drives down the road, lighting up the yard. “I’m so sorry about the baby.”

  August’s mouth purses and I hear the gulp in his throat. “Wasn’t meant to be. I didn’t even get to meet her.”

  I lift my eyebrows. “You never met her?”

  His top teeth bite at his bottom lip. “Tomi knew all along, but her plans were ruined the moment her water broke. Her and Andy…”

  I seethe, seeing red and he teeters on his heels.

  “Her and Andy had this elaborate plan to trap me in the marriage.” He shakes his head and bares his teeth. “They even knew I’d fight it once I figured out the baby wasn’t mine.” He laughs to himself. “Can you believe they thought they’d get me to sign a contract allowing a network to document our life? It was all part of our new partnership agreement.”

  My mouth falls open. August told me a few months ago he and Andy were in negotiations to re-up her contract.

  “They were crafty. I trusted Andy far too easily, that much is clear now. The contract was sent to the house the day after the wedding. They figured I’d blindly sign it and give up all rights to my entire life, essentially. They were even going to steal the rights to my next book. I would have had to publish with Andy – no matter my qualms. My lawyer looked it over. It was ironclad.”

  “Oh, my God.” The words tremble out of my mouth and my hands shake.

  “They were going to make my life hell. They knew the only thing as important as you was my writing. It would have ruined everything. Cost me millions to fight. Thankfully, I didn’t sign anything and Andy came clean two days ago.”

  “Bitches,” I mutter, my stomach hurting at the possibility of them going through with that convoluted plan.

  “I fired her.”

  “Good. She’s lucky you don’t press charges.”

  “I thought about it, but it’s not worth my time and our contract was up. I just want to be done. With both of them.”

  I chew on my nail. I can’t believe they thought they could get away with something that insane. To ruin a man’s life just for his celebrity. It’s disgusting. Thank God Karma and Mother Nature intervened. “Do you know who the father is?”

  He laughs sadistically, his hand pulling at his lips. “It’s Mason.”

  His cousin? “Mason? She was seeing Mason?”

  “For a long time, apparently. They got together before I even came here to film the movie.”

  I cringe. “He’s a pig.” And Tomi is a horrible human being. How could they do that to August?

  “Wait.” I stop him, my hand falling to his chest. “Are you and Tomi married?”

  The smile that takes over his face is triumphant, and God, I’ve missed that smile.

  “We never signed the papers. She went into labor before we could and, well, you know the rest.”

  I blink back tears and my hands fist his shirt. “Does this mean…does that mean all the crap is over and we can finally be together?”

  One of his hand
s fall to the side of my face while the other one grips my hip. “If you’ll still have me.”

  I crush my mouth to his lips before I can answer. He brings my body in close and I feel my world click into place. The once blurry and confusing reality I knew no longer exists.

  I pull away, bouncing on my toes. “You still love me?”

  He gives me a level look. “Of course I still love you. I never, not even for a second, stopped. I’ve always loved you. I loved you from the moment you walked into science class our freshmen year.” He lights up. “You wore a yellow, backwards hat and an attitude I could spot from a mile away.”

  I slap him lightly on the chest, giggling. “Since when has being southern and sassy ever been a bad thing?”

  He hugs me tighter to his body. “I loved you when we went to college together and when I wrote our love story. I loved you when I thought you’d given up. I loved you when I walked away, broken. I still loved you when I came home. Belle, I loved you when I asked Tomi to marry me. And I sure as hell loved you when you agreed to let me go.”

  Tears are falling freely now and I bring my lips to his cheek.

  “There’s been one constant in my life. It wasn’t writing or family. It wasn’t friends or fortune. It was you. My love for you. This beautiful,” he says, pushing the hair from my face, “brown eyed girl from the smallest town in Georgia.”

  I sniffle, a chuckle working its way up my throat.

  “If the past few months have taught me anything, it’s that our story doesn’t have an ending. Not until we take our last breaths. Even then, I’ll still love you. You’re the best chapter I’ve ever written, Belle, and the one I never want to stop writing.”

  My body shakes with affection for this breathtaking man and eagerness for the future. “So, Disneyland, huh?”

  August nods, his eyebrows bouncing. He lets out a good, throaty laugh, and tangles our fingers together.

  “I need clothes.”

  “We can stop by your place.”

  Raising on my tip toes, I lightly kiss his cheek. “Race you there?”

  August’s eyes sparkle and he grins right before shooting off into the darkness, heading toward his car at full-speed.