Laced with Fear

by Hayley Faiman

  My heart races at his words, excitement fills my body as tears fill my eyes. My head starts to spin with all of the things I need to do to get ready for her arrival. I haven’t gone into her room, and I know everything is still laid out in piles.

  I need to wash all of her clothes and organize her new space. A new level of excitement flows through me and I can’t wait to get started on my projects. The doctor congratulates me before he leaves me to my daydreaming.

  A few minutes later, I feel a warm grasp on my shoulder, and I look up to see Prescott there. Excitedly, I tell him the good news and his eyes widen as does his smile.

  “Holy shit, she’ll be home with us soon,” he whispers. I give him a nod, unable to speak, as too much emotion is flowing through me right now.

  “I’m having Free research that nurse,” he states a few minutes later. Looking up at him in surprise, my brows tug together. “She seemed a little too odd,” he shrugs.

  We stay at the hospital, engrossed in our little girl, watching her and just enjoying taking turns holding her. Then Prescott’s phone rings. I place Evalyn down in her little plastic crib as he walks away, wiping my eyes as tears fill them.

  I don’t want to leave her, even though I know that we’ll be back later this evening, even being away from her for a few hours is too much.

  Looking around, I don’t see the nurse from earlier, but I see another one and I give her a small wave. She does the same and tells me to have a good afternoon. Smiling, I make my way out of the room and then walk toward Prescott’s side.

  “Okay, yeah, she was weird,” he chuckles.

  “Pres?” I ask once he ends the call.

  He shrugs. “Just some weird bitch. Her background, or what Free could find came out fine,” he shrugs.

  “I think we’re kind of paranoid too,” I offer.

  “No shit,” he snorts.

  Together we leave the hospital and head back home. I don’t know what we’re going to find when we get there, but whatever it is, I know that I’ll be okay. I’m not a kid anymore, and I’ve made a life for myself here that, no matter how dangerous, I absolutely love.

  I’m not leaving Prescott, and I’m not going to ask him to leave his club. This is where we’re meant to be, and our family here means more than anything to me. They’ve been more of a family than my blood relatives, and that is all that matters.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  SNAKE

  I expect Ginger’s mom to be waiting for us at the house when we arrive back from the hospital. I help Ginger to bed, she looks exhausted as hell, then I go in search of Roberta.

  The first place I look is her room, which is completely empty, then I start to look around the house. I find her a few minutes into my search, sitting out on the back porch.

  “Roberta,” I call as I walk outside in an effort not to startle her.

  She doesn’t move, so I walk over to an empty chair next to her and settle down in it. “I’ve always been over the top when it came to my kids, especially after their father left me,” she begins.

  I continue to look forward, not wishing to really look directly at her. I have a feeling that she needs that sibilance of space right now. Watching the wind blow a few leaves around the yard, I patiently wait.

  “It’s no excuse, Ginger is right. This is your family and your life. I shouldn’t come in here and try to change things out of my own fears.”

  Clearing my throat, I decide to speak. “Ginger has been through a lot. She’s extremely strong, and she knows her own mind. I’m not forcing her to do anything. If she wanted to go elsewhere, she’d tell me, and she knows that I would make it happen. This is where she wants to be, and this is our family.”

  Roberta nods her head. “My plane leaves in the morning. I’m not needed here, and I’m okay with that. Can I come with you to the hospital tonight to see Evalyn?”

  I feel bad. I feel like I should ask her to stay, but it isn’t my place. If Ginger wants her to stay, she can talk to her, but I have a feeling that we all need a little space.

  Lifting my chin, I stand and head toward the door, making my way into the house. I don’t go upstairs to Ginger though. Instead, I go out into the garage.

  Walking over to my radio, I turn it on and sync it with my playlist on my phone. I need to relax, spend some time doing something. I decide to tinker with my bike for a bit.

  Just when I’m elbow deep in grease, my phone rings. I glance over at it on the garage floor next to me and my brows knit together.

  “Free,” I grunt, using my pinky finger to put him on speaker phone.

  “We got a problem with a shipment that was supposed to come in today,” he announces. I wait for him to continue and am thankful when he does without prompting. “It didn’t arrive. I talked to the Idaho crew and they said they passed it off to a prospect. Only problem is we don’t schedule prospects to pick up our shipments, Fish and Motorhead were supposed to pick it up. Motorhead didn’t go because of Esme and Fish said he was just planning on doing it alone, but he waited for an hour at the site, and nobody showed.”

  Fuck.

  “Get Fury to send you a copy of the signature on the acceptance paperwork,” I bark before ending the call.

  Fury is the president of the Idaho Notorious Devils. He runs a good, clean, tight crew. No way would they hand it off to someone who wasn’t wearing a cut.

  If they didn’t suspect any foul play, a prospect cut could easily be explained, especially with the shit our club has been through the past few weeks. Between the Aryans, my father, Crooner being shot, finding Esme, and Evalyn’s early arrival it’s been fucking mayhem around here.

  Walking over to the deep sink, I wash the grease off of my hands as I wait for Free to call me back. It doesn’t take long for the phone to ring and I answer it immediately. “Speak,” I demand.

  “Don’t know where this person got a prospect jacket, but it wasn’t one of ours. Name is illegible, but Fury’s man snapped a picture of him since he didn’t recognize him. Extra insurance. No fucking clue who it is, Snake. I’ll forward it to you as soon as I’m off the phone. We got a fuckin’ problem. We have an entire shipment that’s disappeared, and buyers who are fucking pissed off right now.”

  He doesn’t need to tell me twice, not at all. I fucking get it more than anyone right now. I scrub my hand over my face, wishing that the shit storm would just fucking ease up a little on me. This is more than, when it rains it pours, this is a goddam hurricane.

  “Meet me at the clubhouse, get Crooner, Motorhead, and Fish down there, too,” I state, then end the call before he can reply.

  A few seconds later there’s a notification on my phone, I open the attached picture and I frown. I don’t recognize this person either.

  He looks like he’s in his late-twenties, clean shaven, but nothing really definable about his features. His head is covered by a ball cap, and he’s definitely wearing a prospect jacket. I decide to send a text to Free.

  Round up the prospects.

  FREE: Yeah, already on it.

  Hurrying inside, I take the stairs two at a time to get to the bedroom. When I open the door, Ginger isn’t asleep like I’d anticipated. She’s sitting up, her back leaning against the headboard. Her eyes meet mine and she looks sad. I abandon my mission for a moment of rushing to the clubhouse to talk to her.

  “Peaches, what’s wrong?” I ask sitting down next to her, on the edge of the bed.

  I watch as she wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. “I-I’m ready to bring Evalyn home, but I’m scared to death at the same time,” she whispers.

  “It’s going to be okay, we’ll be okay,” I smile.

  Reaching toward her, I cup her cheek in my hand and just look into her pretty brown eyes.

  “I think I’m just feeling extra emotional, especially with my mom’s shit piled on top of everything,” she murmurs.

  I nod, understanding where she’s coming from. “It will be okay, I swear it, peaches,” I mutter
, leaning forward and pressing my lips to hers. I taste her for just a second before I pull away, reluctantly.

  “Is she still here?” she asks.

  I give her a sad smile, and a nod, then tell her that Roberta plans on leaving in the morning. Ginger shakes her head once. “That sounds like Mom. If she’s not the center of it all, if she doesn’t feel needed to the point of desperation, she’s out,” Ginger sighs.

  Resting my forehead against hers, I inhale, hating that her mother is the way she is, but also hating the fact that I can’t force her to change even if I want to.

  I want Evalyn to have at least one grandparent worth a shit since my parents are both gone. Maybe in time, Roberta will see that this life we’ve created for our little family is indeed beautiful. Maybe she won’t, but we will continue to create beauty around us, and I will continue to create it for my girls.

  “I need to go to the clubhouse for a little while. Are you okay to stay here?” I ask, backing away from her a little bit.

  She nods her head in a jerk. “I’ll be okay.”

  I give her a sad smile and a nod. “If I don’t make it back, you two can go to the hospital without me.”

  Ginger gives me a smirk, but nothing about it reaches her eyes. I want to stay right here with her, but I can’t.

  I feel like I’m being pulled in two different directions, even though she isn’t asking me to stay, inside I feel like I need to. Leaning forward, I press my lips to the brand on her neck and lick the S.

  “I’ll be back as soon as I can. My phone will be on me the entire time if you need me,” I whisper against her sweet skin.

  “Okay,” she breathes.

  “How many more weeks?” I ask with a groan.

  She laughs, and the sound is like sweet music to my ears. “Too fucking many,” she mutters.

  “I’m going to make a home in your pussy when you get the all clear,” I announce as I stand, adjusting my cock. She only giggles, and I smile as I walk away from her, her laughter filling the space of our bedroom.

  Now, I have some fucking work to do, and hopefully, this puzzle is figured out quickly so I can come back to my girls.

  GINGER

  Inhaling a deep breath, I slip out of bed with a groan, wishing that this pain would magically go away. Slowly, I make my way toward the staircase and continue to moan as I begin to walk down.

  My abs burn with each step and I’m regretting keeping Uncle Cash’s house and not looking for a smaller, ranch style one story house, at this point.

  “I already talked to Prescott. I apologized, and I suppose I should apologize to you as well,” my mother announces.

  Nodding, I finish the few steps I have left down the staircase. “I don’t want us to be at each other’s throats.”

  My mom gives me a sad smile. “You’re so independent. Your siblings aren’t as much, it’s hard for me to just let you do your own thing. Especially when your own thing is scary as all hell,” she says.

  Closing the distance between us, I wrap my arms around my mom in a hug. “I love you, Mom,” I whisper.

  Her arms wrap around me as well and we hold each other for a few moments. I soak up her hug, something I haven’t felt in at least ten years. It feels fantastic, and now I’m a little sad that she’s leaving in the morning. “When I come back to visit, things will be better,” she whispers.

  “Yeah,” I sigh.

  Taking a step back, I give her a watery smile. “I made you lunch, let’s eat something before we go back to Evalyn,” she winks.

  My mom and I eat and talk a little bit before we head back upstairs, and she helps me get Evalyn’s room organized. I’m grateful for her help as we work side-by-side without a single argument. It’s the first time that this has ever happened, and I find myself wishing, again, that she wasn’t leaving yet.

  “Have you talked to Prescott, see if he’s going to make it to the hospital? He seemed to leave in a rush,” she states as we get ready to leave the house.

  I look down at my phone and open up the text app, but I shake my head and decide to close it. He has something weighing heavy on his mind, I could tell.

  “He’ll come if he can, he’s dealing with something important,” I state. My mom gives me a sad smile but doesn’t say anything else.

  Together we leave, and she drives us toward the hospital in my Jeep. I don’t have clearance to drive yet, so I give her directions until we’re in the hospital parking lot. Once we’re parking in the parking lot I wrap my hand around her forearm to keep her from exiting quite so soon.

  “I’ve enjoyed today. I wish we could have had more days like this one.”

  She turns to face me, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. “Me too, Ginger.”

  “Next time?”

  She nods and wipes her eyes. “Yes, and there will be a next time, very soon,” she whispers.

  We don’t say anything else, choosing to leave the Jeep, and head inside. No more words need to be said. We’ve apologized, we’ve talked, and hashed everything out.

  Once we step into the hospital, all thoughts of my mom disappear, and the only thing I can think about is Evalyn.

  I practically sprint, or at least, sprint for me. I’m still moving at the speed of a snail compared to my regular self. The NICU comes into view and my heart starts to race, the same way it does every time I am able to see my little angel.

  My face breaks out into a huge smile when I see her. Evalyn’s eyes are open in her little bed and she’s free of oxygen tubes. She looks so pink and healthy, even though she’s still extremely tiny. I had planned on letting my mom hold her first, but I can’t stop myself from picking her up and holding her against me.

  “She looks so much like you did as a baby,” my mom says behind me.

  I smile, looking up at her and nod. I’ve seen baby pictures, she does look like me. Although, I hope that she at least gets her father’s pretty green eyes.

  We stay, Evalyn wrapped in my arms with my mother behind us, just watching for a while. Just when I’m about to stand, and let my mom sit down, that same nurse from earlier walks in.

  The hair on the back of my neck stands up as I watch her. I’ve been pretty observant when it comes to the nurses and their schedules, and there’s no way she should still be on shift. The rest of the nurses milling around aren’t the same as this morning, and this woman should be home, asleep in bed.

  “Did you think that you would just be okay?” she asks, her voice low and cold sounding.

  My mom’s hand wraps around my shoulder, but my back stiffens as I hold Evalyn a bit closer to my chest. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I think you need to leave,” I snap.

  She smirks, her eyes narrowing. “I won’t hurt your dirty little baby, yet. I know it’s not pure. Your man’s club will suffer for what he’s done, though. You’ll always have to look over your shoulder, whore. One day, you’ll come home where you belong,” she hisses.

  My jaw is clamped tightly, and I watch her as she walks away from me. I wish right about now that I carried a gun. I would love nothing more than to pump that bitch’s head full of bullets.

  I’m shaking, but I don’t realize it until my mom slips Evalyn out of my arms and places her down in the little bed next to us.

  “You’re going to need to talk to me about that. I knew I wasn’t being paranoid. I knew this place was dangerous,” she announces.

  I close my eyes, letting out an exhale. This was the last thing I wanted to happen with my mom here—shit. Ignoring her, I yank my phone out of my pocket and I call Prescott.

  I can’t deal with my mom right this second, but Prescott needs to know what’s just happened. I refuse to make the same mistake I did weeks ago, and brush this under the rug.

  “You okay?” he shouts, his voice sounding somewhat panicked.

  I whimper before I get myself together. “That nurse was here, she’s one of them, Pres. She said some things. I need you to get down here. I can’t leave Evalyn,” I
ramble.

  “I’ll be there in just a few,” he states before ending the call.

  I turn to my mother, and I tell her the abridged version of what happened. I don’t tell her about my kidnapping, or being held hostage, but I do explain about the Aryans.

  Once I’m finished with my less than fully honest story. My mother is standing there with her hand in front of her open mouth, her eyes wide in terror.

  I can’t imagine telling her the entire story, she probably would have to be admitted to the hospital for shock.

  “I can’t believe all of this has happened, and you haven’t run for Georgia,” she snaps a few minutes after she composes herself.

  Turning to her, I give her a grin. “I’m not going anywhere, Mom. I love Pres, I love his club, and I love my bar.”

  “Shit, you must,” she sighs and shakes her head. I giggle, never having really heard my mom curse before. She takes an empty seat and pulls it toward me, her hand wrapping around mine and giving me a squeeze. “I’m going to try and be a more supportive mother, but this is testing me.”

  “I know,” I whisper. “We always get through it all on top, Mom. Everything will be okay,” I smile.

  We stay quiet, content to hold one another’s hands while we gaze down at a now sleeping Evalyn. I believe my own words—wholeheartedly.

  The Notorious Devils, me and Prescott, we always get through everything, and come out on top, even if the road is bumpy as hell, and this scenario will be no different, I’m sure of it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  SNAKE

  The look on my face must tell Free all he needs to know. His eyes widen, and he lifts his chin. “Talk to me,” he demands.

  Since he’s my vice president, I don’t hold back. I tell him what Ginger said, and that I need to get the hell down to the hospital.